AN – So sorry this took me so long to post! One, I had a hard time writing it. Still not sure it came out ok :S Two, major things in RL came up and I've had a guest in my home as well. Yeah. Things should start to get back to normal soon. Anyways, won't keep you. Here's the epilogue to Undercover!
Two Months Later – Day Before Thanksgiving
Normally in the morning time, Spencer and Morgan enjoyed their morning coffee together after Morgan's shower and before Spencer's. It had become a bit of a tradition to drink their coffee at the table and talk about the night, about any dreams they'd had or what they hoped to do with the day. After that, Spencer would go take his shower while Morgan cleaned up the cups and gathered their things. Then the two would head to work together.
Though Spencer still had his apartment, he pretty much lived with Morgan. The only thing that kept them from getting rid of his apartment was the slow process of moving him out. First there had been the entire situation happening and the fallout at the end. They'd had police to deal with, as well as the bureau. Surprisingly, Erin Strauss hadn't been a problem. They'd made their report to her and that had been the end of it.
Then there had been Spencer's recovery time. His wrist had taken time to heal. Six weeks after getting his cast on, they finally removed it and started him on the minimal physical therapy he would need to do to get his full range of motion back. The other bruises on his body had long since faded. But it wasn't just his physical healing they'd had to deal with. There was his mental healing. Nightmares plagued him for that first week; each night he woke in a sweat, Morgan's arms wrapped tight around him as the older man tried to talk him down. He let Spencer cry, let him shed the tears he'd always been so scared to shed before, always staying there and helping Spencer find his way back to sleep. Now the nightmares came once or twice a week instead of every single night. He was getting better and better.
Part of his mental recovery was making peace once more with the addict in himself. Though the cravings weren't extremely strong during the day, in those random flashback moments or after a nightmare, they did tend to rear their head and try to swarm him. He set himself up at the meetings near Morgan's house, becoming a staple there now instead of a guest. It helped him to make that necessary peace and to bring the demon in him back under control. Cravings would always be there for him, but he brought himself back to the place where he controlled them instead of them controlling him.
It seemed like everything in Spencer's life was going so well. He should have been one of the happiest people in the world! But, two months after the incident at Dave's house, Spencer found himself sitting at the kitchen table, drinking from his cup of coffee and scowling down at it. Really, it was a stupid thing to be upset over. Maybe he was just overreacting. Or…maybe not. He scowled harder at his cup as if it had been the one to upset him.
How logical did it seem to be mad at Morgan right now? Especially for something like…this. Yet logic didn't seem to factor in to it. Taking a sip from his coffee, Spencer had to admit to himself that, logic aside, he was mad at Morgan. Ok, maybe not 'mad' but definitely frustrated. Ugh, I can't even get my thoughts organized. I've only had two drinks of coffee—now is not the time to have a huge internal debate.
But he couldn't get it out of his mind! Two months had gone by since Michael had been shot to death. Two months since the nightmare had ended. Two weeks had gone by since he'd had his cast removed. His wrist only hurt now if he pushed it too hard. And during these past two months, the only sexual contact between the two men had been similar to any they'd shared before. Hands, yes. Mouths, yes. Actual sex? No.
Spencer scowled at his coffee once more. It sure wasn't for lack of trying on his part! He was ready to take their relationship to that final level. Well, he was ready to try. Sure, he was still a little afraid of it. That had been something that had always hurt with Michael. Always. It had been one of the most painful experiences that Spencer had ever had with the man. But he knew Morgan would be different. Morgan had opened up an entire new sensual world to Spencer. He'd showed him that just because an act was sexual didn't mean that it had to hurt.
So yes, Spencer was scared of actual intercourse. But he knew Morgan and he trusted him to take care of him. He trusted him to help chase away the fear and replace it with good memories. He trusted Morgan to help him heal. But every time he so much as even tried to step things up to that level, Morgan seemed to divert him. They'd both end up happy from their encounters, lying with one another and panting to catch their breath. The pleasure was still immense. But Spencer couldn't stop himself from longing for more.
It was because of all this that Spencer was sitting and scowling into his coffee. Last night he had tried to step things up once more between them. And, once again, Morgan had easily diverted his attention. Afterwards Spencer had wanted to ask him about it; he'd wanted to know why Morgan kept stopping them from taking the last step. But he was afraid of the answer he'd get. He was absolutely terrified that Morgan didn't want to be with him that way because of Michael. Not just what Michael had done and the scars that were left behind, but maybe Morgan didn't want something so, so used.
"Someone looks like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed."
Spencer tried for a split second to wipe away the scowl before deciding that he didn't care. He just grunted in response and went back to staring at the dark liquid inside his mug. Who cared if he was grumpy? Wasn't everyone entitled to be a little grumpy now and again? He couldn't be expected to be totally pleasant all the time. Even to himself, that sounded stupid.
He heard Morgan slide a chair out and sit down just moments before a hand touched his arm. "Hey, Spencer, what's going on? You ok, baby boy?"
Yes, I'm perfectly fine, except for the fact that you don't really want me the way I want you his brain screamed out. The pain of those thoughts made him flinch. Without thinking about it, Spencer pushed away from the table, leaving his cup sitting there. "I'm going to go take my shower." He mumbled before darting out of the kitchen. He was thankful when he heard no sound following behind him. Most likely Morgan knew something was going on that Spencer needed to think through. He was good about giving Spencer time to gather his thoughts when it was necessary.
Once inside the bathroom, Spencer shut the door and leaned against it with a sigh. He closed his eyes and let his head come back to rest against the wood. This was getting ridiculous. You're a grown man and you're hiding from your boyfriend in the bathroom. Really, can you act any more like an idiot? Scowling once more, he moved to turn the shower on, letting his body run on auto-pilot while his mind ran round and round.
Rightfully you can't be mad at Derek for this. Yeah, he's not letting things progress, but have you talked to him about it? Have you come right out and said you want to take things up a level? No, of course you haven't. Because you're a coward. A giant freaking coward. You're terrified you'll say something and he'll tell you that he doesn't want that from you. And really, who could blame him? Look at how used you are. Look at how disgusting you probably seem to him.
Tears burned the backs of Spencer's eyes. He tried to blink them away while he stripped and step underneath the spray of the shower. The water crashed down over him and washed away any of the tears that managed to escape. His thoughts were flaying him, throwing all his fears up in his face. It was true. He was scared Morgan wouldn't want him. And he really couldn't bring himself to fault Morgan for it too much. He was used goods. His mind replayed Michael's words to Morgan from that long ago phone conversation. "Have you fucked him yet? Everything he knows, I taught him. There's not a part of that body I haven't touched, haven't fucked."
Had that turned Morgan away from being able to take that final commitment with him? That doesn't make sense, though. Spencer realized. If he was turned off of sexual encounters with me, he wouldn't do what we still do together. He wouldn't touch me that way. He wouldn't put his mouth on me, on any part of me. So what the hell is going on here?
None of it was making sense anymore. All his thinking was doing was leaving him more and more confused. There's only one way to find out his mind told him quietly. That little thought was enough to have him freezing in the act of washing his hair. Yes, he did know. It was the one thing he didn't want to do. He would have to ask Morgan. The idea of having that conversation put butterflies in Spencer's stomach and left him feeling nauseous. Yes, he and Morgan talked about pretty much everything. But this was an area that touched deeply on Spencer's insecurities about himself. He didn't know if he could handle hearing what Morgan's response could be if it wasn't good. It had the potential to destroy him on the inside. If you don't talk to him and just let this eat at you, it's going to destroy you anyways.
Determination pushed away the butterflies. Or, at least it pushed them down enough that he could manage them. He had to talk to Morgan. If he didn't, then this would destroy him. How was that any worse than being turned down now? One way or another, he had to know. That determination stayed with him as he rushed through the rest of his shower and turned the water off. He had to do this now, before he lost his courage. Before he chickened out once again and went back to silently wondering and analyzing and driving himself crazy.
Wrapping a towel around his waist, Spencer stopped and looked in the mirror. He took a deep breath before walking out of the bathroom. His quiet footsteps carried him down the hall, away from the bedroom. He could hear the sounds of the TV playing in the living room. Holding tight to the courage he'd found in the shower, Spencer didn't let himself hesitate to walk into the living room and straight to where Morgan was sitting on the couch.
His lover looked up at the sound of him entering the room. The flash of desire in those dark eyes was enough to spur Spencer forward. He walked over to where Morgan was and quickly moved so that he was straddling the older man's waist. Instantly Morgan's hands came up to rest on his hips and the desire in his eyes grew. "Well, hello there, Spencer." A corner of his mouth quirked up in a grin that was just a little sharp at the edges. It was a look Spencer knew well; he recognized the passion written there. That was good. That was a good sign.
How should he do this? Should he just try and go for broke or should he just say something? Words had always been his refuge. More than actions, he relied on his words. So, straightening his spine a little, Spencer looked at Morgan's face, forcing himself to stare into the older man's eyes as he bluntly asked "Derek, do you want to have sex with me?"
Surprise had Morgan's mouth dropping open. "I…what?"
"I need to know." Spencer made himself say. His determination was slowly fading away as he watched the shock travel over Morgan's face. Nerves were starting to come back. "Two months have gone by and you've never even tried. Is…is it because of me? Because of my past?"
That had the surprise on Morgan's face growing. "What? Baby, no!" he exclaimed. The hands on Spencer's hips tightened slightly. So many emotions traveled over Morgan's face there. To Spencer's complete surprise, Morgan's body slumped slightly and his eyes slid closed. A second later he was leaning back on the couch, tipping his head back to rest there. "God, I've really fucked this up." Morgan mumbled.
Worry spiked in Spencer. But, more than anything else, he felt concerned. Hearing Morgan talk like that brought up the instinct in Spencer to soothe his lover and chase away whatever it was that had Morgan sounding so…broken. That was how his voice had sounded when he'd said that. Broken. He couldn't stop himself from bringing a hand up to rest over Morgan's heart. He said nothing, sensing Morgan was trying to gather his words together.
Lifting his head, Morgan brought his eyes up to lock on Spencer's. Emotion was swirling around there. It held Spencer captivated so that he could do nothing but look down into Morgan's eyes and listen. "All this time you've been thinking it was something you did, something about you. It wasn't, Spencer. This wasn't about Michael and you; at least, not directly."
Now he was more confused than ever. Spencer bit his lip and tipped his head to the side a little. He studied Morgan almost like he was a puzzle. "I don't understand." He finally said. Not understanding left him frustrated; he wasn't used to not knowing things. He wasn't used to being without answers. But none of this was adding up for him.
"I wasn't holding back because I didn't want you, Spencer. I…fuck." One of his hands came up, running over his scalp. There was a look in his eyes that Spencer couldn't name, but it made him want to wrap Morgan in his arms. That feeling only grew when Morgan said "You're not the only one with hang-ups about sex, pretty boy."
Hang-ups…? Oh. Oh. Spencer's eyes widened as Morgan's words sank in.
His lover saw the recognition dawn on his face and nodded, smiling ruefully. "Yeah. I mean, I've come a long way since…since Carl. I've come to terms with my sexuality and I've had a sex life—I won't deny that. But, well, I looked up to the guy. Before all of it, I really looked up to him. And he came into my life when I was at my lowest and my weakest. He took advantage of me when I was weak and he used that weakness to hurt me. I don't ever want you to feel like that's what I'm doing to you." Love and pain were in Morgan's eyes in equal measure. "Ever since we got home after that shit at Rossi's house, I've watched you hit bottom in things and I've watched you climb back up, stronger than ever. But when it comes to sex, I know you're scared, baby. I know you're worried it's going to hurt the way it always has."
Spencer hadn't been able to bring himself to say anything since the realization of what Morgan was talking about. Now he found the words easily rising to his tongue. "I trust you, Derek. I'll admit I'm scared, yes. Maybe a little terrified. But I trust you. I know you won't rush me and you'll be careful with me. I know you'll do everything you can to make it good for me."
A corner of Morgan's mouth quirked. "And I'm terrified I won't be able to. I'm absolutely terrified that I'm going to hurt you." He took a deep breath, sighing it out. "I can see how scared it makes you. Yet every time we're together, every time I touch you and you touch me, I want it. And that scares the hell out of me. Knowing you're scared, would it make me any better than him if I pushed the issue? It made me feel like I'd be hurting you just like he hurt me."
Oh, how had he missed this? How had he not even thought to take into account the problems Morgan would be having? It made Spencer feel small. He had only been thinking about his own issues. Morgan's issues had never crossed his mind. The other man just seemed so confident when they were together; so secure. Yet underneath that confidence lurked fears, just like any other person in the world. Oh, Derek. I'm so sorry.
Knowing what he did now, any of Spencer's earlier irritation melted away. Even his embarrassment disappeared. He took his hand from Morgan's chest and brought it up to rest it on his lover's cheek. His heart swelled a little at the way Morgan turned into his hand, nuzzling it slightly, his eyes falling to half-mast. Instead of leading with his brain, Spencer looked at the man he loved and spoke with his heart. "You could never be anything like him, Derek. Never. The fact that you worry about it is proof of that. But more than that, I know you. The man I love would never take advantage of someone and hurt them. You could never hurt me, honey."
"It could hurt you though, baby boy." Morgan argued quietly. His words sounded pained. "There's a little physical pain at first and there's the mental pain you might feel. I can't stand the idea of hurting you."
Spencer smiled at him. "I trust you." Those three words didn't come easily to him and so they carried that much more power to them. "It may hurt, yes. It may be a little difficult for the both of us. But does that mean we should deny ourselves that closeness? That joy you've told me about? I want to be with you, Derek. Completely. Maybe it'll hurt at first, but from what you've told me, what you've showed me, the pleasure is going to be so much more."
"I don't want to hurt you more than you've already been hurt. You deserve to never be hurt again."
"You don't deserve to be hurt either." Spencer pointed out gently. "But if we don't confront this, it'll be an open wound inside of both of us. We can't let our insecurities and hang-ups come between us. You aren't forcing me into this, honey. I want this. More than that, I think we both need it. We could heal, together."
The living room was quiet but for the sounds of the TV for a long moment. Then Morgan was tilting his head a little more to the side so that he could kiss Spencer's palm. "I love you, Spencer Reid." He murmured in a low, husky voice. "I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you, but I thank God for having you in my life."
The tenseness of the moment was fading. In that gesture, those words, Spencer saw the start of their healing. He couldn't stop from smiling or from teasing, trying to interject some levity into the situation. "I imagine you were very good as a young child." He teased. Laughing, Morgan leaned up enough to steal a kiss. His hands, still on Spencer's hips, pulled the young man in closer, abruptly reminding Spencer that he was straddling his lover while wearing only a towel. That seemed to come to Morgan's attention as well. He nipped at Spencer's lip, his own curving. "Why don't we take this back to the bedroom, baby boy?" he murmured. Spencer could only manage a brief moan when Morgan kissed him again.
There were times that Morgan did things that showed Spencer exactly how much stronger the older man was compared to him. This was one of those times. The hands on Spencer's hips shifted around back, cupping his ass and pulling him close at the same time that Morgan rose from the couch. Though it wasn't the first time Morgan had picked him up, Spencer couldn't keep himself from startling. His legs quickly wrapped around Morgan's waist and he gripped tightly to his shoulders to make sure he wouldn't fall. He felt Morgan laugh into their kiss.
Each step Morgan took made a delicious friction between them. Spencer broke the kiss to throw his head back and moan when Morgan's fingers kneaded his ass and their hips ground together. That sound slipping over his lips was enough to have Morgan turning halfway down the hall and pressing Spencer against the wall. In the back of his mind, Spencer thought to himself how appropriate this was. Their first sexual encounter had started with Morgan carrying him down the hall to their bedroom. It seemed kind of right that their first time having actual sex started out this way as well.
Lips were attacking his collarbone, taking away all thought. Spencer rolled his hips again and groaned. Morgan had a talented mouth and he knew exactly where to use it to reduce Spencer to a quivering mess. "Derek…bedroom."
Somehow they finally made it in there. Spencer found himself lying in the middle of their bed. He lifted up on his elbows, shaking his head to toss his hair back out of his face, one leg curving up slightly. He watched as Morgan stood beside the bed and divested himself of his clothes. This part of things they were comfortable with. This part they knew well. Spencer chewed his lip in anticipation, feeling his desire grow as Morgan finally stripped down to nothing.
The older man stood there, staring down at Spencer. "God, Spencer. You look so beautiful there and you don't even have any idea." Slowly, Morgan knelt on the edge of the bed, right near Spencer's calf. "All that soft, smooth skin." He bent and his mouth ghosted over Spencer's thigh, moving up his hip, making the young man shiver. "That beautiful flush that builds there." Morgan continued, his mouth moving further up, over Spencer's ribs now. "The way you bite your lip. Those fucking bedroom eyes." Morgan came up finally, his lips pressing against Spencer's, a kiss that was eagerly returned .Spencer's arms slid out from under him as Morgan stretched out fully over him. All Spencer could do was bring his hands up to wrap around Morgan's neck, cupping the back of his head.
When Morgan broke the kiss, Spencer instinctively tried to move after him, to follow and press their lips together once more. Morgan just chuckled and moved his lips to Spencer's jaw while he pressed their bodies together, settling his hips between Spencer's legs. Right as he bit that point below Spencer's ear, he ground his hips down, wringing a loud gasp from Spencer. "Derek!"
"So beautiful, baby boy." Morgan murmured. One hand was bracing him on the bed while the other slid over Spencer's hip, across his stomach and up to his chest. He brushed over the pebbled nipple there, drawing it between two fingers to give a slight tug, making Spencer move underneath him.
Spencer could barely think. He ran his hands across Morgan's back, tracing the muscles there, needing to feel him. His eyes could barely manage to stay open with the pleasure that was racing through him. But keep them open he did. This wasn't something he wanted to miss. As Morgan's mouth and hands brought to life that wonderful fire inside of him, Spencer set about trying to do the same to his lover. His hands traced over skin, his mouth moved to steal long, mind-numbing kisses that left the both of them breathing heavily. He rolled his hips up against Morgan's, building the friction there until neither one of them could handle it anymore.
Their kiss was suddenly broken and Morgan was pressing their foreheads together. The sound of their heavy breathing filled the room. Spencer swore he could hear his own heartbeat. "Are you sure about this, baby boy?" Morgan looked down at him seriously. "I don't want you to be pressured into this."
Even own, even as their bodies were screaming for completion, Morgan still found it in him to offer Spencer an out. To give him the opportunity to back away without recrimination. How could he ever think he'd be like Carl? Spencer smiled and stole a gentle kiss. "I want you, Derek." No matter the fears in his stomach, he knew those words were true. He knew he could trust Morgan to help him through this. And, in turn, he would help Morgan through this as well.
Morgan shifted them both a little so that he could reach over into the nightstand. From there he pulled out the pack of condoms and the lube that had been kept there, but never used. He set them on the bed beside them before kissing Spencer deeply. That was enough to have Spencer's body arching once more. His eyes drifted closed and he gripped tightly to Morgan's back.
This time when Morgan broke their kiss, his mouth just moved, tracing faintly over his jaw, down to his neck. "Just lay back, baby boy, and hold on. I'll take care of you." The soft murmur against his skin had Spencer shivering. What else could he do but listen? As Morgan's mouth traveled lower, Spencer brought his hands up, running them through his hair. They moved to grip the pillow when Morgan kissed the inside of his thigh, just barely nipping at the skin.
One hand clamped on Spencer's hip, the only warning he had before he felt warm lips wrap around the head of his cock. He tightened his grip in the pillow, trying to keep from thrusting up into that warm mouth, a low moan echoing in their room. Morgan knew exactly how to drive him crazy. Spencer couldn't stop the moans and whimpers that slid out as Morgan took him further and further in. All thought drained out of Spencer's brain. He forgot entirely about what they were about to do as the pleasure washed over him.
He didn't hear the click of the bottle cap, but he felt Morgan's finger at his entrance, gently tracing there, cool against his fevered skin. He didn't get a chance to even begin to feel apprehensive about it. That finger started to push in at the same time that Morgan took him fully into his mouth. Spencer let out a keening cry, shoving his head back into the pillow. "Derek, Derek…" His name came out on a sob when Morgan started to bob his head again. That first finger slid in easily with Spencer's distraction.
The younger man was surprised at the lack of pain he felt. There was a slightly full feeling, but it didn't hurt. He didn't get long to think about it. Morgan did something with his tongue, his teeth, that had Spencer's hips moving of their own accord. If Morgan kept this up Spencer was going to be done long before they started.
Morgan must have sensed that. He pulled off of Spencer with a slight popping sound, kissing the prominent hip bone. All the while his finger never stopped its slow movements. Kissing further up, Morgan stopped at Spencer's chest, drawing a nipple between his teeth. Spencer writhed underneath him. He felt like he was on fire once more; that delicious fire that only Morgan could create in him. He felt Morgan's finger pull out, only to be replaced by two a moment later. There was a slight burn as they slid in, a hint of remembered pain. Spencer squeezed his eyes shut and tried to remind himself to breathe through it. That it was Morgan over him, not Michael. You're fine. You're perfectly fine. This is Morgan and he'll take care of you. He doesn't want to hurt you. The burnings already fading, see? His thoughts cut off completely when Morgan's fingers moved, curling and pressing against something that had Spencer's entire body exploding in sensation. He didn't even hear the sobbing cry that he let out.
That little spot was pressed again and he cried out "Derek!" Clenching tighter to the pillow by his head. Lips covered his, dominating their kiss. Pleasure was filling Spencer so that he couldn't think anymore. He heard Morgan murmuring at his ear and it only served to turn him on more. "You look so beautiful, Spencer. You have no idea what you do to me. So fucking sexy right now. You're driving me crazy, baby boy, with those sounds you're making, the way you're responding to me. So fucking hot."
Two fingers became three and once again Spencer felt that burn, but before he could react to it, before he could think even, those fingers curled into his prostate once more and the pleasure was filling him once more, setting fire to his nerve endings. This was like nothing he'd ever felt before. It was like the pleasure he and Morgan had shared before and yet it was more. So much more.
Looking down at the face under his, Morgan couldn't help but wonder how he had ever worried about this. He'd worried before that he'd be taking advantage of Spencer; that he'd hurt him without realizing it. He should have known better. He should have known how stupid that thought was. This was nothing like that he'd lived through; nothing like what either one of them had lived through. The look Spencer wore, that full body flush he had going, those indecent sounds that he was making, all of those left Morgan no doubt that Spencer was lost in a sea of pleasure. There was no pain for him at the moment. Only pleasure. He moved his fingers, curling them again, enjoying the way Spencer's body jerked and the sounds that he made. Morgan had to force himself not to grow angry at the feeling of scars his fingers came across—now wasn't the time for those. Later, he would release his tension on those. Right now was about their pleasure.
Now came time for the part he worried would be the hardest for Spencer. Hard for him, too. He'd slept with men before, but never with someone who mattered to him the way that Spencer did. Looking down once more, Morgan knew he wanted to do anything he could to make this easy for Spencer. One idea came to mind and had him smiling. There was one way he could think of that would give Spencer a sense of control and that might be just the thing to make this easier on him. He slid his fingers from that tight body, chuckling at the whimper that Spencer gave, shushing his young lover slightly. Then he brought his hands to Spencer's hips and surprised the younger man by bracing him tightly and then flipping them over.
Spencer gasped as his body was turned, ending with him over top of Morgan, looking down into amused and aroused dark eyes. Before he could say anything, Morgan kissed him. When they broke apart, the older man was grinning. "I want to watch you, Spencer." He murmured sensually. One of his hands went over, grabbing a condom from beside them. "I want to watch you ride me, watch you fuck yourself."
Those dirty words had Spencer shuddering. He gave a sudden grin that surprised Morgan and stole the condom from him. When he'd broken it open and shifted to the side enough to slide it over his lover's length, it was his turn to watch Morgan's face and enjoy the expression there. To thrill at the sound of the moan Morgan gave. Once the condom was firmly in place, he watch grabbed the lube, slicking down his lover's cock, teasing him with the slow, firm strokes. Morgan had been driving him crazy ever since they'd come into the bedroom; Spencer thrilled at being able to return the favor.
One of Morgan's hands was against Spencer's back, stroking the skin there. It suddenly moved up to grip in his hair, yanking his head down for a hard kiss. Spencer moaned and released his lover, letting Morgan guide him so that he was straddling the older man's hips. With one hand Morgan helped line their bodies together. Spencer broke the kiss, wanting to see Morgan's face as they did this, as they took this final step together. He needed to be able to see his eyes.
It was Morgan's eyes that chased away the tiny kernel of fear in Spencer's stomach. Looking down and seeing the love in Morgan's eyes reflected back up at him, how could he be afraid? How could he worry? This was nothing like that he'd felt with Michael. This was good, this was real. Spencer smiled down at him and cast away the last of his reservations. This was about him and Derek, not him and Michael. He wouldn't allow that memory to intrude on this moment any longer.
Without a single word, Spencer shifted and slowly impaled himself on his lover's body. There was that burn again, stronger than before. It was enough to have Spencer's eyes closing and his body tensing. But he pushed until he was fully seated over him. Harsh breathing filled the room as the two stayed totally still, adjusting to one another. Spencer felt the burn slowly start to fade and couldn't stop himself from giving an experimental move of his hips, loving the sound Morgan made below him.
Spencer braced his hands on Morgan's chest and started a slow rise and fall, gasping as the burn disappeared and pleasure took its place. Morgan's hands were on his hips, helping to guide him in their movements, bringing him down to meet each upward movement of Morgan's hips. Through heavy eyes, Spencer watched Morgan's face, saw the pleasure there and felt a thrill, knowing that he was the cause of that pleasure. "Shit, Spencer." Morgan gasped out. He pushed up again, his head tipping back again. "Fuck, you feel so good, baby boy, so tight."
The sound of flesh hitting flesh echoed obscenely around their room, broken by moans and whispers and sighs. Sounds grew louder and louder as their pace increased. Spencer was almost senseless, rocking his hips faster and faster. When he straightened his body and Morgan pushed right into that sensitive bundle of nerves, Spencer almost screamed.
Morgan could barely hold his thoughts together anymore. His whole world began and ended with the lithe body over top of him. All he could feel was Spencer's skin under his hands, that tight heat clenching on him. All he could see was the look of absolute pleasure on Spencer's face as the young man straightened his spine, his hands fisting in his hair, riding the pleasure. Morgan could feel that he was getting close; he wouldn't last much longer. The sensation combined with the way Spencer looked was quickly sapping any control. He moved one hand from Spencer's hip, wrapping it around his lover's cock and fisting him, matching his pace to the pace of their hips, moaning when he heard the keening cry that Spencer gave. God, the sounds that man made!
"Come on, baby boy. Let go for me. Come for me." Morgan said huskily. He knew Spencer loved to hear him talk to him. "Just let it go, Spencer. You look so fucking hot like this, riding me. Wanna watch you, wanna feel you as you come for me."
Spencer couldn't do anything else. He screamed Morgan's name, his body coming apart from the inside out. He didn't realize he was sobbing as the pleasure rode its way through him and he shot his load against his lover's chest. He barely felt as Morgan thrust into him and came with a loud shout.
The next thing he felt was Morgan shifting him off his lap, laying him down in the bed. Boneless, Spencer melted into the blankets, his mind blank and his body sated. He felt the bed shift, part of his mind registering that Morgan was probably disposing of the condom and maybe cleaning up. That was fine. He didn't mind. Content, Spencer let himself just lay there. He doubted he could have moved even if he'd wanted to—which he didn't.
That had been better than he'd ever imagined it would be. Even in the few fantasies he'd indulged in, he'd never thought the fire would burn him that way, be that all-consuming. He couldn't keep from smiling. He and Morgan had finally taken that final step together. As a couple, they'd taken their most horrible memories and replaced them with wonderful ones. Together. Spencer knew that now, he could finally move on. Now he could Michael behind him where he belonged.
The bed dipped with Morgan's weight as the older man climbed in beside him. Spencer mustered up enough energy to roll over, flinging one leg and one arm over the man. He distantly heard Morgan chuckle at him before the older man's arm wrapped around him, hand moving to stroke at his hair. "I love you, Spencer Reid." The soft words were whispered against his hair, followed by a gentle kiss. The words held so much to them, packed full of emotion that neither knew how to put into words.
Spencer smiled and kissed Morgan's chest. "Love you too, Derek Morgan." He murmured. Tightening his grip on Morgan's body, Spencer's smile grew. For the first time in over a year, Spencer felt at peace; mind, body, and soul. Wrapped around the man he loved, his body sated, his heart full, Spencer drifted off to sleep.
So I really hope that didn't suck as badly as I think it did. I know it took forever to get here, but at least it was longer than normal, right? Well, so ends Undercover. Sigh. It's been a great story. But have no fear, part two in the MR series should be started in the next few days! When I get it posted, I'll come here to Undercover and post a 'chapter' to tell you guys that the sequel has started and what it's called. How's that sound? :) I hope you all enjoyed this story and thank you again for all the favs/alerts/reviews. You guys are the absolute greatest! Thank you, thank you!
Ok, so part two of my series is up now. It's titled Christmas Vacation! Hope you all enjoy it!