A/N: This is my first time writting a Hikaru no Go fan fiction. So I shall warn you now that my facts may not be correct, and I apologize beforehand. Also I may or may not update depending on my schedule and I hope that you understand. I have never really played the game or understood it for that matter, so I won't be going too much in detail on the game. If you read my other fan fictions, please have some patience with me, I will update eventually. And I know I shouldn't be posting stories I might not finish...but well this plot just wouldn't leave my mind. But anyway, I hope you enjoy this story and will give me some feedback—

Disclaimer: I don't own Hikaru no Go.

Warning: It's rated T for language. Hey they are teenagers, they curse. I have been looking for the name of the phobia Hikaru has, but haven't found it yet. If you do find the name of the phobia, please tell me. Thanks. And pairngs? I haven't really thought about pairings. There might not be any, so don't keep your hopes too high.

Edited on 12/15/12


My Unnamed Phobia


Chapter 1: My Fears Are Still Haunting Me

"God was so cruel,
to put you through these excruciating experiences.
Yet for the knowledge and strength you have gained,
God had cared."

The sound of stones against a hard surface resonated throughout the washitsu(1) room. Two figures sat on the tatami(2) while in the seiza(3) position. They both stared in concentration while reading ahead of the game in hope of outwitting the other. So far the game had been even, each of their moves a solid offense or defense for countering the obstacles presented.

Yet the game had been leaning toward the white stones position since the beginning, and it was a matter of time and reading ahead for the game to end in white's favor.

The sound of the stone on the kaya(4) Go board was deafening, for it was the hand that will foretell the closure of the game. A few minutes of no muscle movement gave the telltale sign of a defeat. The mutter of resignation was just to justify it.

Shindou Heihachi let out a sigh; his tense shoulders from a second ago fell as his mind became relax. The game had been intense, and had given his brain a workout, but now that it had ended, the weight had been lifted as well.

"You have improved Sai." Heihachi said while offering a smile.

His nephew, Fujiwara Sai, was a twenty-one years old Go professional and currently a 9-dan. Sai—at the tender age of six—had fallen onto his care when tragedy struck his parents to an immediate death during their travel to the Caribbean. Seeing as his relatives were reluctant to take care of said boy, he had volunteered. After all, living in a big traditional Japanese home was quite lonely, and he had the money to support said child unlike the other family members.

Sai was a gentle and cheerful child, and though a year since the aftermath of his parents' death had passed, it still put a veil of sadness over his childhood. It wasn't until one happy-go-lucky boy came and blew the veil away, did it finally change his outlook in life.

"Thank you, uncle." Sai replied politely, a small smile adorning his pale and heart-shaped face. His eyes were a slight blue and silver, which accompanied well with his unusually long dark violet hair.

"But I am still lacking. The upper left side of my territory was weak." Sai pointed out humbly, as his fan pointed at the position he was speaking of.

Heihachi nodded, while explaining what could have been done at the beginning, and the following moves that could have led to Sai's favor. Sai on the other hand, listened attentively to his teacher whom had taught him Go and given him a goal in life.

Shindou Heihachi was a retired Go professional whom had held the Kisei title for nearly fifteen years. But five years ago when his body had been unable to continue with the rough schedule of a Go professional, it was at that time that had given him one choice. Retirement. He was contend with the way it had ended, his only regret was that he haven't been able to change that event which had happened during his collapse.

And the results of it.

That event was one of the reasons why he had to retire, but not only that; it had left a black hole in many of the Shindou family members and relatives.

The ringing phone cut his explanation short.

"I will get that." Sai said as he stood from the seiza position in a graceful manner.

The ringing had stopped, and the soft greeting of his nephew's voice was enough to indicate as to why. Even so, the eerie silence that followed was not a good sign for Heihachi.

"He did what? At the police station? Two weeks of suspension?" Sai questioned in confusion and panic to the other speaker.

Heihachi felt something grip his heart, and was compelled to stand up from his sitting spot. He already had a feeling as to whom Sai was so concerned about. There was only one in the family, usually with synonyms such as: the troublemaker, the delinquent, and the childish…

…grandson of his.

Shindou Hikaru.


Once Sai and Heihachi arrived at the police station, they saw Mitsuko signing papers. Heihachi decided to head to his daughter-in-law and see how grave the situation was. Meanwhile, Sai walked toward the boy of seventeen with his front bangs bleached.

"What did he do this time?" Heihachi asked in a calmly fashion, as if this was a routine.

"He sent two boys to the hospital, and they won't be released till the end of this month." Mitsuko replied, her faced drawn into a frown. She sighed before looking at her grandfather-in-law.

"I will pay for the hospital bill." Heihachi suggested, seeing as Mitsuko looked worn and tired. Her eyes had dark bags underneath, and she looked thinner since the last time he had seen her.

"I don't know what to do with him…how did he turn out this way?" Mitsuko began, her eyes letting a few tears slip while she continued, "He was a happy boy, loved soccer, and was greedy but knew the right thing to do. But now, he beats people and sends them to hospitals. Returns home at two in the morning smelling of liquor and cigarettes. His grades had also dropped considerably, and teachers are warning me he may be left back a year…"

Her voice faded in defeat, while more tears began to fall.

Heihachi let out his own sigh, while placing his wrinkled hand on her shoulder for support.

"Hikaru!" Both Heihachi and Mitsuko glanced upward at the loud exclamation from Sai.

The teenager Mitsuko had been discussing was walking out of the police station, and she had no energy in her to catch him. She felt as if her feet would collapse beneath her, just like her family was beginning to crumble above her.

"Give him some time; he is also struggling as well. You know he is the one bearing the largest wound of all of us." Heihachi said while guiding his weak daughter-in-law into the car.

Sai was already sitting at the driver's seat, so Heihachi closed the door of the backseat. He sat beside Mitsuko, giving her shoulder a squeeze for assurance. Sai on the other hand began to drive toward Mitsuko's home.


"I'm thirsty…" Hikaru mumbled before searching for a convenient store, but instead he saw a rundown Go salon. He entered, wondering if he will find a bending machine.

The lights above were flickering and the hallways were empty, so he went inside the Go salon hoping to find something to drink. But instead as he opened the door, he heard a loud yell, "You cheated!"

"Boy, give me the 4,000 yen." A rough voice grunted.

Hikaru glanced to his right, wondering what the commotion was about. He saw a boy about his age with orange colored hair, and a tall and muscled man with a bear. Hikaru turned to the cashier, not wanting to get involved in this shit.

"Do you sell any drinks?" He asked, while more yells were heard.

"Yes, there is water, coke, tea, and coffee." The old man said, while keeping an eye on the glaring customers.

"Coke." Hikaru said while taking his wallet out of his pocket.

"That will be 120 yen." Hikaru gave the money before taking his can of drink.

"You bastard! I'm not paying you." The boy yelled as he took his stuff and made a run for it.

"You are not leaving boy! Give me my money!" The man said as he got hold of the boy's collar.

Hikaru sighed, wondering if he should just leave or give the other teenager a helping hand. As his green eyes landed on the Go board he pondered, 'will it happen again if I play Go? Or have I overcome my fears?

"I will play you. If I lose, I will pay you half of what this boy owns to you and he will pay you the other half. But if I win, you will forget about the money. What do you think old man?" Hikaru said to the other man impulsively.

"Go ahead." He gave another grunt as he settled himself on the chair.

"Don't run away, I'm not paying your share as well." Hikaru added as he glanced at the boy standing behind him.

"Whatever." The other teenager muttered, his eyes turning to the wall ungratefully.

"Nigiri." The muscled man said, as he plunged his fist into the bowl. Hikaru nodded and took two stones out. The man gave him the black stones and in return Hikaru moved the white stones toward his opponent.

There was no formal exchange, which was fine with Hikaru. And so the battle began.


The game had been unremarkable to say the least. Hikaru had played evenly, but did not try to surpass his opponent. But when his opponent made a mistake, he did not take advantage of it, rather he ignored it. The teenager standing behind nearly palmed his face out of frustration.

The game continued until both reached yose, and from there on the game went downhill for the half blond boy. Hikaru played meaningless moves that were a disadvantage to him, until finally he was forced to resign.

"What kind of game was that?" The other boy complained, while pointing at the mediocre game lay on the Go board.

"Did you even try?" The orange haired teenager was about to scream, that is until another voice interrupted, "Give me my money."

Both boys groaned before handing their share.

As the pair left while arguing, the muscled man commented to the boss of the Go salon, "That should teach him a lesson."

The older man sitting on the stool drinking his tea, stopped and said, "What do you think of the other boy?"

"The blonde bangs? Not sure, besides not paying you to play, he isn't all that special. Delinquents these days, especially Mitani, he always comes here to cheat." The bulky man huffed, before he gulped the offered tea.

"He looked familiar…" The boss of the salon whispered, before taking another sip from his hot tea.


"I will teach you real Go." Mitani said, now that they had introduced themselves, they seemed to click right away with their personalities. Delinquents should stick together in order to survive.

"Or you will be the shame of me." Mitani remarked, while Hikaru glared.

"Hey, I'm not that bad at Go!"

"You suck!"

"Shut up asshole!"

"You shut up, loser!"

Hikaru growled, turning sharply to his left in order to avoid the irritating orange haired delinquent. He thought silently to himself, 'I still haven't gotten over that incident…'

"Hey Hikaru, you busy tomorrow?" Said boy whom had been lost in his memories, snapped back into reality and shook his head.

"Why?" Hikaru questioned.

"My school is holding a festival; you should come take a look."

"What's the name of your school anyway? You think I'm psychic?" Hikaru retorted sarcastically.

"Idiot, it's called Haze."

"Give me your number and I will go when I am free."

"Think you are the royal highness with a pole stuck up your ass?"

"Shut up."

"Yeah, thought so." Mitani smirked, but gave his number to the other boy anyway.

"See ya." Hikaru half waved before heading to the train station.


Touya Akira hasn't been to school for nearly four days because of his job as a Go pro. But now that he was back, he couldn't seem to settle in. The classroom was in chaos, which had first left him in confusion. Yet as he listened to all the talking, he could conclude why the classroom was in such a hectic situation.

"Heard Hikaru sent Masaki and Taka to the hospital." A male student commented.

"Yeah, 'cause they were talking shit about him and Haru." Another male student added.

"I thought it was because Hikaru was defending Aya." A girl said next, which threw the conversation into a debate.

"Wasn't he dating Marika?" A short haired girl pointed out, before returning to her cell phone.

"Really? I thought he was with Haru…" The girl from before said in surprise.

"Man, Hikaru sure has lots of girls fanning over him." The male from before whistled.

"Well he is handsome, and you know a lot of girls like bad boys." The short haired girl said matter of fact as she placed her cell phone away.

"Nana, got a crush? What about your boyfriend?" The boy teased, while the short haired girl punched him on the arm.

"Shut up."

"So, was it two weeks of suspension?"

"Yeah…seems like it."

Akira shook his head, as he closed the book he had been trying to read but had now lost interest in. The school year had begun a few months ago, and he had yet to meet this Hikaru they were talking about. It seems that whenever he was at a Go convention or match, Hikaru was present, and when he was at school, Hikaru was spending it in the detention office.

The classroom door slid open and then smoothly closed again. The teacher clapped his hands and waited for his students to return to their seats. He started, "We will have the seating arrangements changed today, so please come up and get a number from this box."

Some of the girls whined since they had been sitting near Hikaru, while other girls cheered and wished for the heavens that they will be placed near the absent boy.

Akira just hoped his luck will last and he will never meet said boy.

"Touya Akira." The teacher called, so the shoulder length teenager made his way toward the front. He took a paper out and handed it back to the teacher. The girl on the board wrote the seating arrangements while Akira returned to his seat.

By the end of the class, the results were on the board and many groaned while some cheered.

Akira was one of those that had been disappointed. Especially since he was now seated beside the infamous delinquent and class clown. Seems that he had jinxed his luck.


"Shindou Hikaru, get back here or I will give you a week's worth of detention!" A female teacher screamed, but the subject of her frustration ran even faster instead. She released an irritated scream. No teacher wanted to be in charge of watching over the half blonde delinquent. It was just the twist of fate that had landed her in this predicament.

Hikaru on the other hand ran toward the direction of Haze High School. He wondered what he will find there to fill his stomach. But he alternately got more than what he had expected.

The return of Go in his life.

To be continued...


Washitsu (1): A traditional Japanese room

Tatami (2): A type of mat used as a flooring material in traditional Japanese-style rooms

Seiza (3): Traditional formal way of sitting in Japan

Kaya (4): A type of wood used for Go boards; which makes it really expensive because of its beautiful qualities

A/N: So far so good, I would say. The next chapter wont be long...but bear with me, we will get to the better part of the story soon enough—

~Lots of Luvs~