It is important that you read this before continuing. Seriously.
Chances are, you probably won't recognize the game that this fan-fiction is written for. I want you, the reader, to know that this is perfectly okay. In fact it's probably preferable. If I had a choice between knowing and not knowing, I would prefer to know nothing.
As such, I am not revealing the name or nature of this game. If you really have to know and insist on bugging me about it, I might be willing to dig up something for you. Please be aware that in doing so you will be causing me great pain and I might be forced to cry very unmanly tears as a result.
Anyway, if this piece of fine literature looks like a complete cluster-fuck, I want you to be aware that I'm just trying to be accurate. The only thing I took the liberty of doing was changing some names around for the sake of making it difficult to find the source. Trust me. I am doing you a great favor.
Okay. So it's not really as bad as I say it is. The spelling is fucking awful though. Seriously.
DISCLAIMER: I am glad that I do not own the rights to this game.
ACT 1 – Nigte & Melon
There once was a knite named Nigte. He had a squire named Melon. Coincidentally he happened to be a melon. What a coincidence! Nigte and Melon liver'd in a castle made of lead and uranium in the country of Navelcake. All of Navelcake was peaceful for sentries, but then suddenly war broked out all across the land and Navelcake was in chaos. The king of Navelcake, King Malcom, sended his valiant armory to fight the bad soliders that has invaded the peachful Navelcake. He notted sended his strong knites to fight for he thought that the soliders of his armory could save kingdom with easy. Despite the bestest efforts of the soliders of King Malcom's great armory, struggles were being had over the lands. Then one day a drag(queen)on attacked the kingerdom of Navelcake, bustered through the wall of the castle and kidn(ey)apped the princess of the Navelcake, who's named was Prince Valliant. King Malcom was very much so sad and ordered Nigte and his trusty melon, Melon to save day and bring princess Prince Valliant back to the castle in one pieces. Nigte visited Malcom in his royale chamber of king and said to him "Yes I will save princess!" and Melon agreed. Then they left castle on a quest to save the day.
ACT 2 – On to Dragonland
Two and half days later Nigte and Melon were walking down dirt path in the fore(head)st of Magic Dragon Forest, the secret entrant into Dragonland. All of sudden out of nowhere a mystery old man appeared before them. Old guy said "turn back because this is dragonland and you not dragon so leave now you do!" and Nigte was all like "Heck no, we here to save princess from dragons!" and Melon agreed in melon language. The old man cackled with evil intent. "I am the dragon you are be seeking! I already eated the princess!" he said. "Oh no." said Nigte and he jumped at the old man and killed him with a swift punch to the spine. The princess climbed out of the old man's belly and Nigte and Melon and Prince Valliant all went back home because the quest was complete and it was happy time for all. On the way back Nigte and company runned into a messenger from the castle and he looked winded and obese and like he had something important to be said. "Oh…Nigte there you be!" he gasped. "Quick go to castle! King malcom is be kingnapped from castle by goblins elements and dragons! You are only one that can be savings him!" Nigte was in shock. "Stealing the princess was all just diversion and their real goal was to take King Malcom from castle!" he exclaimed to melon. "We must be hurry to the castle and try to figure out how to be savings him!" and then they all ran to castle to come up with plan to save the king.
ACT 3 – King Malcom Needs to be Savings
Once Nigte and Melon reachded the castul of Malcon they sitted dan to the tabel of justarse and reformatted some hard drives with important information pertaining to avacados. And then they comed up with plan fer savin king guy. "I got jurt the Plan!" said Nigte. Melon stareded intentlee at the planes and decarded that it was really good idea and that it was friggin go time. Nigte and melon left princess Prince Valliant at the castle sew that she would died from radiation-induced cancer. Because dad jus how Nigte and Melon roll. Just like a couple a squares. Squares role all ovar the placebo. Anyway it was long journet and stuff but Nigte and Melon finally reached bad guy castle of evile. Theyre trusty horses diued in one hit though because there was lighting and thunders and the horsey went BZZAP and turned into roast beef. Nigte swore to revenge his fallen horse comraid and kicked down the dore like bruce lee. The door went flight and hit the evil goblins into the evel elements which flew intaw the evarl dragunz which all fly into a big pit of lava magically in castul becasue luckilee the castle of evile was made from poo and lava. The bad guts were died and the dad was saved so they ran up to Malcom and Malcom says "Oh great Nigte and Melon you has saves me from the evil elements and goblarns and lizard dudes and now I will not be died! You can marry the princess for yer herorc derds." "Oh boy" shouted Nigte. Melon stayed behind while Nigte went to marry the princess. But the princess had dies from cancer so Nigte has sexy times with the dead body and they lived halfily ever once upon a time.