Phone sex

Artemis: Hello?

Wally: Artemis! Hey!

Artemis: Wally? Thank god you called, I've been waiting all day.

Wally: Yeah, I called your cell like, 4 times and you didn't reply. I feel like an idiot for leaving you all those messages though.

Artemis: Hey, blame that on my cell. I dropped on the street curb yesterday and it's screen is cracked. I can't even turn it on.

Wally: Sounds terrible babe.

Artemis: Hey, so get this, I went to the cave yesterday, and I overheard Zatanna and Kaldur on the phone.

Wally: And...?

Artemis: They sounded pretty hot...

Wally: What are you getting at Arty?

Artemis: I'm rubbing my boob Wally, get it now?

Wally: Oh... Oh! I get it.

Artemis: It's your turn Wally, what are you doing?

Wally: Well... I am... lying in my bed now.

Artemis: And...

Wally: I'm reaching down into my pants...

Artemis: Yeah...
Wally: And I'm... (Sighs) Listen Artemis, I'm feeling awkward doing this.

Artemis: We fucked on my apartment balcony while my mom was watching the Ellen show, you didn't seem awkward doing that.

Wally: That's because it was dark outside and nobody was looking up at us from the street... plus, we had a blanket to cover ourselves.

Artemis: Come on Wally, I wanna give this a try. So don't hang up and rub it for me!

Wally: Okay Arty, whatever you say. So, now I reaching down to my pants, and I'm grabbing it... and now I'm rubbin' it for you babe.

Artemis: Tell me how it feels...

Wally: (Sighs) It feels great.

Artemis: How big is it?

Wally: It's getting bigger.

Artemis: (Sighs) God Wally, talk dirty now.

Wally: Geez Arty, even on the phone you're in control.

Paula: You have no idea Wallace.

Artemis: MOM!

Wally: Mrs. Crock?

Paula: The one and only.

Artemis: Mom, what the hell are you doing here?

Paula: I was ordering Pizza! But my phone was low on battery. So I used the home one.

Wally: How long have you been listening to us?

Paula: From the whole boob-rubbing thing.

Artemis: GET OFF MOM!

Paula: Hold on for a second, you two had sex?

Artemis: Yeah, about that... I threw away that purity ring you gave me for Christmas.

Paula: And on the balcony! You told me that our neighbors were doing it upstairs!

Artemis: I lied?

Wally: Wow, this is more entertaining than phone sex.

Artemis: Shut up Wally! You're the one who fucked me!

Wally: Don't drag me into this.

Artemis: To bad Wally! Thanks to this, you'll be rubbing it alone for the next month.

Wally: Awww... Dammit! Well Mrs. Crock, I guess I'll be going now.

Paula: Goodbye Wallace. And Artemis, we'll talk about this more one you hang up!

Artemis: Ugghhh... Bye Wally!

Are you creeped out yet? You are? Good!

Disclaimer: I do not own.

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