Chapter 4- It's the story, of a Lovey lady...
Eunice was completely horrified by what happened next. As soon as everyone was revived from the shock of the coming headhunters, the castaways and their high-brow guests quickly made their way through the jungle and up the mountain to their secret hiding place- a secluded cave they always went to every time native headhunters arrived on the island.
Eunice kept losing her breath and almost her shoes as she was pulled along through the rocks, snakes, mud and other desperate terrain. She was most afraid for their arrival at the cave...a Douglas in a cave?! She'd rather be back sleeping in Oliver's barn, or even riding in Mr. Haney's truck, that was for sure. A cave was so dark and damp and chilly and it might even have bats! How dreadful! She couldn't understand how Lovey and Thurston had been able to live on an island where every so often their life was threatened by headhunters. Why wasn't Lovey screaming with fear? Eunice wanted to scream, but she was so terrified.
Once they were settled in the cave, Eunice was surprised to find that it was warm and cozy; the seven had obviously spent a good deal of time there. The cave's entrance was covered with thick brush. She had watched as all the castaways, even Thurston and Lovey took great care to cover their tracks as they rushed along and now did the same in re-covering the cave's entrance so it would look uninhabited. The cave was dark but not cold, not crawling with creatures as she'd assumed it would be. It had furniture: a little table, little cots, some spare blankets (Gilligan would later explain that some of these extra items, like blankets, were among items that washed ashore every once in awhile and contributed greatly to their standard of living...which, as far as Eunice could tell, was below third world in some ways.
She and Lovey sat down together at the table along with Ginger and Mary Ann...oh how she wished they'd left Blanche for the headhunters! But, what good would it do? If they were any good as headhunters, they wouldn't want her anyway, what with her wild hair and beady little eyes...they looked like little pieces of coal to Eunice, dark and foreboding with no sparkle. Oh how she hated that southern belle who thought she was so special because her father was an oil millionaire who had recently became a member of the House of Representatives.
"I know what would make us feel better. Let's sing about our favorite things!", said Blanche.
Eunice rolled her eyes.
"Now is not a time to sing about our favorite things! I'm not your singing governess and our captain here is hardly Captain Von Trapp."
"Who?" Asked Skipper.
"He was an Austrian Naval Captain. His family's story was made into a delightful musical." Lovey gushed.
"It's a movie now!" Exclaimed Blanche.
"Oh" Skipper was not interested at all.
"I know what will make us feel better, a story, right Thurston!" Lovey smiled.
Thurston turned to look at her from his place helping the other men secure the entrance to the cave. In addition to the hidden brush, they'd tunneled themselves as deep into the cave as they possibly could and built as secure wooden door as possible. It was heavy, had an impressively sophisticated lock on it and took at least three to close it. It reminded Horace of a medieval castle's moat door.
"Lovey. I don't want you bullying me into telling that story. I'm not a..."
"Ninny?" Horace asked. He, Lovey and even Eunice then exchanged a laugh.
"A ninny! No one calls a Howell that!" Howell almost screamed but before he could finish, the Professor briskly clasped a hand over the millionaire's mouth.
"Mr. Howell, be a little more quiet, the echo in here might carry, you know."
"Yeah and then the headhunters will hear ya!" Gilligan added cheerfully, then realizing he'd just said eight words too many and accidentally refocused everyone's attention on their current peril when they were supposed to try and relax.
"Anyway Thurston, the story!"
"Lovey no!" Thurston managed to yell and whisper at the same time. He did not want to be scolded by the professor a second time...not in front of his friends anyway.
"Pretty please Thurston, we all need something to refocus our attention on. Look at poor Gilligan! The boy is positively petrified!"
"Yes, you're shaking!"
"I am!?" At this Gilligan started actually shaking. He hadn't been but his mind ran with Mrs. Howell's psychological suggestion. Eunice laughed. She loved how Lovey liked to play with psychology.
"Please Thurston, it'll calm the poor boy." She baby talked. "And the girls you're scared, aren't you girls?" She asked Ginger and Mary Ann. The girls smiled slightly noting Mrs. Howell's cue.
"Yeah, we're scared, real scared Mr. Howell." Ginger added.
"Please a story I think it would really cheer us up!" Mary Ann plead.
"Alright...fine then for the girls." Mr. Howell grumbled. Lovey gave everyone else a satisfied smile she was glad her husband couldn't actually see.
"Picture it..." Howell decided to be dramatic, "Newport, nineteen..."
"Oh Thurston don't say the year!" Lovey was alarmed for a moment; she didn't really want to give away her age! How improper that would be! A woman never reveals her age!
"Fine then." He coughed. "Picture it, Newport when Lovey and I were six."
Little Thurston Howell III was not much for parties. He liked socializing well enough but, he preferred to stay inside with the comforts of home: his father's ticker-tape machine, his toy polo pony and of course...Teddy. Teddy had been his favorite gift from his Mother and Father, sent back to comfort him when they went on Safari back when he was two and he was left with his Nanny, Nanny.
Thurston who had been nicknamed the wolf of Wall Street by his father at a young age, because of his early love of money, was quite different from other children of his class. Even though his Nanny was the most proximate caregiver in his world, he was closer to his Mother and Father and didn't especially care for Nanny. She was kind of mean when you got right down to it. Thurston didn't realize that the reason for this was because he was a proud stubborn little boy and was hard to manage.
Today, Nanny was insisting that he go out to the big party being held on their lawn. It was the social event of the year and the cream of society...and their children would be present. Thurston was dressed in his finest Brooks Brothers suit and refused to go outside because of the one caveat Nanny had put on the day:
"Put down the Teddy Bear, before you go outside Thurston!"
Put down teddy? Really? He couldn't and wouldn't do that and he never did really. To part with Teddy was utter madness! Little did Thurston know that his Nanny's ridiculous request had come at the behest of his mother and father, who had thought it was time for their son to grow up and give up the bear, after all, boarding school was not far off, but Thurston wasn't fully aware of that just yet. There was no way Teddy could go to boarding school.
"Thurston, it's time to put down the bear and go outside." Nanny spoke with kindness yet firmness, but in Thurston's eyes it was a very cruel request.
"No!" He thundered, sounding very much like a future wolf of Wall Street. He was on the verge of tears.
"Thurston, your mother and father believe that at your age, you shouldn't spend so much time with your Teddy bear. I'm only telling you what they told me to say."
"But he's my only friend," Thurston pouted. Nanny was a cruel woman and he could not believe this could be the request of his handsome father or his Lovely mother...they were Howells, after all.
"What about the other boys and girls your age? Aren't they your friends too?"
"Not like Teddy!" Thurston exclaimed defensively.
Without another word, Nanny pushed him outside, without his Teddy bear and locked the great big French doors, prohibiting the young boy's re-entry onto the sun porch. She placed the bear on top of the bookshelf so that he glanced directly into young Thurston's eyes, almost teasing him, beckoning him to challenge authority and come to rescue him. Thurston tugged hard at the golden doorknobs, not understanding how they didn't bust open but the strength of his willpower alone.
If you'd been there, you would've found it funny how no one noticed this little boy struggle pointlessly with the door, particularly given that it was his house and his parent's party...nobody except for the last little girl on earth who should've paid any mind to him...little Lovey Wentworth.
Lovey, a cute little blonde girl with short hair and deep blue eyes looked on sweetly as Thurston did battle with the door. 'What a silly Boy!' She thought to herself.
"Thurston." She exclaimed.
"Huh? Did somebody say my name?"
"It's me, Lovey!"
"Huh? Ew, yuck you said love!" Six-year-old Thurston was momentarily distracted by her having said love. It was so...gross. There was just no way around it for him, being six and disgusted by mushy stuff he had to point it out.
"I said no such thing, my name is Lovey! Love-eee!" She clarified.
"Oh yeah." Thurston gulped.
He was speechless for a moment and had no clue what had come over him...there was something about this girl that, well made him smile, made him happy, rather than revolted him...he didn't understand how...or why but he thought it had something to do with those eyes...they were so deeply blue.
"He's cute you know."
"Huh?!" Thurston said a third time. He felt like an idiot, being both ecstatic and horrified that she might've been attempting to indicate that he was cute.
"You're Teddy Bear." She stressed.
"Oh, yeah, he's my friend. But Nanny locked him up."
"I hate my Nanny." Lovey whispered, crossing her arms defiantly and giving a proud snobbish huff.
"Me too, she's a horrible woman, she took Teddy away!"
"No, what scandal, I'm sure all the other bears are talking about it too!" Lovey was shocked. "What are you going to do?" She asked. Surely he'd do something...if he were a man of quality.
"Well I..." He stammered, quickly collecting himself. "Well Thurston Howell III doesn't stand by and take no for an answer! If they won't give me what I want, I'll go out and get it myself." Lovey smiled to herself, she liked that in a young millionaire, determination Thurston paused for a moment, looking back through the glass windows into the piercing black eyes of his forlorn bear.
"Come on Lovey!" He grabbed her hand.
She was shocked by this for a moment, it was so improper! But it felt right, and she went with it. Little Lovey was able to keep up, running slightly behind her new friend as he made his way around his mansion, all the way to the front courtyard. Lovey noted that it didn't take nearly as long to get to his front door as it would have to hers: her home was much larger. Nonetheless she was still tired when they arrived out front and wanted to pause for a rest, but Thurston insisted they keep going.
He was worried they'd be caught trying to get back inside and so, clinging to his new friend's hand, he scurried past their butler, and dozens of caterers and servants who he didn't know and had been hired just for the day.
"Be on the lookout for my Nanny." Thurston reminded.
"What does she look like?" Lovey enquired. Although it seemed to Lovey that all nannies looked the same.
"She looks mean!" Thurston replied, for that's what he thought.
Lovey made a note to be on the lookout for any mean looking ladies. Her nanny looked like Mary Poppins, but in Lovey's opinion, she was far from practically perfect. She loved the Mary Poppins books and had wished that she was real. Unfortunately, there were a lot of mean looking ladies at this party, so it was kind of hard to tell who was who. Her own mother, for example, was a mean looking lady. And there was Mrs. Vanderkellen, who everyone called the ice queen. She was beautiful and blonde, but her eyes were sinister. Lovey noted that they always narrowed in a very sharp and exacting way when they turned her direction. Lovey knew though the difference between a wealthy woman and a nanny. Often, there was a sharp difference...and often, the wealthy women were sweeter, an ironic twist of fate. Little Lovey had no idea, that this was simply because they were usually drunk.
Little Lovey and Thurston were in such a hurry as they scurried around the mansion that they did not notice the butler that was carrying a tray of champagne and caviar. Little Lovey almost knocked over the butler, who nearly lost his balance. He spun around on his tiptoes finally landing on his heels with a tap. Years later, Thurston would look back and remember this butler as the one who could dance like Michael Jackson.
"Quick, Lovey get in!"
"Get in! What, Thurston it's a closet!" She nearly shrieked.
Thurston closed the hall closet door quickly and ducked down to peek under the door as he watched his nanny, Nanny walked by. He never thought he'd be so thankful for a closet.
"Thurston, can't we go out, it's so stuffy in here, and I'm al-al al-achooo! Allergic to dust." Lovey sniffled. Besides, a Wentworth in a closet with a young boy she just met! It seemed like such an uncouth occurrence...she'd never live it down if anyone found out.
Lovey slowly opened the closet and poked her head out into the hall, ensuring the coast was clear, she and Thurston dashed across the hall and into the most dangerous place in the house: the kitchen. It was a place Thurston had never been before. He was amazed by the size and the hat of the French Chef that he didn't look where he was going. He knocked over an hor d'oeuvres tray sitting on a table.
"What are you doing in here? Get out!", the angry chef declared. Thurston and Lovey began to run up the backstairs, trying to figure out how to rescue Teddy.
Lovey was shocked. She was well acquainted with kitchens, and often went in her own to beg the cook to give her chocolate, which he almost always did.
"I knew there was a good reason I never went in there!" Thurston was frightened. He wanted to hold his Teddy Bear close to his heart and forget about all the pain, but first he had to find him and rescue him. He felt responsible for him. Maybe this was what his father had tried to discuss with him yesterday, becoming a young man, instead of a helpless little boy.
"Oh I always go in kitchens." Lovey said. He shot her a shocked glance. "Oh but never to cook you know!"
"I'm a great cook." He chuckled. "When I have a chef working for me!"
"Oh that's terribly witty!" She squealed. She admired boys with wit like that.
Thurston heard footsteps walk past them, and peering out into yet another hallway, he suddenly knew that the coast was clear.
"Come on Lovey! Back down to the sitting room, we haven't a moment to lose!" Thurston dashed out into the hall, leaving his new friend behind.
She sighed. Something had, within the last few minutes, changed within little Lovey's heart...well maybe not changed. She just admitted it to herself.
"I'm going to marry that boy!" She whispered to herself, and began to follow him down the mansion's set of back stairs.
There he was. Sitting on the coffee table in the sitting room. To Thurston, he looked more like a million bars of gold than a worn out old bear whose eye was about to fall off, and hung precariously from his face by a single brown thread, which he had angrily told his nanny was actually a vein.
"Lovey, look there he is!"
"Oh, he's such a handsome bear."
"Huh?" Thurston asked weakly, handsome wasn't a word he would use to describe Teddy.
"Well look at him, he's a beautiful bear, brave, with a charming physique!" The bear heard Lovey's words and stuck out his chest, feeling proud and brave...but not handsome, or at least that's how Thurston took the rest of her commentary. In fact, he was kind of confused. They may have both been six, but he wasn't nearly as advanced, as she was when it came to the eloquence of conversation. Whatever was a charming physique? It sounded like a compliment. Whatever it was...he hoped it wasn't directed at him. Little Thurston's analyst had warned him that sometimes people would comment about something in a kind of subtle way and actually be projecting the comment onto you or themselves...and he'd been worried about this with Lovey the whole half hour he'd known her.
Thurston and Lovey looked at each other with huge eyes when they heard the "clunk, clunk, clunk" of large shoes coming into the room. Thurston recognized them instantly as his nanny's footsteps. The pair darted under a chaise across from where the bear sat perched, looking down into their little eyes, taunting them as if to remind them that they were just inches away from success but may've now failed at their brave task. Thurston gulped. He did not much want to be caught. Lovey, on the other-hand, was mortified. What would her mother say if she was found under a chaise with a strange boy, and a boy from a family like the Howell's...Howell money just wasn't Wentworth money, and that's all there was to it.
Thurston looked up at his nanny, relieved that she had no idea he was even present. She was carrying the family cat: an orange-striped old cat named Chester Withington the III who had a big pink nose and a grouchy disposition. Withington, you see, thought that the family fortune was his own, and liked to lounge about the grounds as though he'd been the one who had generated their wealth in his younger days and now deserved to bask shamelessly within the estate's placious spaces. Nanny was doing nothing more than putting the cat outside so that he too could attend the party, of which he thought he was the host.
Thurston didn't notice Lovey's eyes bug out when she saw the cat.
'Oh no!' She thought. 'I'm going to give us away!' Lovey had dreadful cat allergies. She was sure she'd sneeze and give them away. Lovey tried everything she knew to not sneeze. She held her nose shut, held her breath, and as her analyst had suggested...tried not to think about it, but none of it helped.
"Achoo!" She was so dreadfully embarrassed. On top of the not getting caught thing, it was so terribly unlady-like!
Thurston shot her an evil glare and she could tell he was upset. Nanny froze in her spot in between the bear and the chaise they were under. Thurston could've reached out and grabbed her ankles she was so close to them. He held a single finger up to his lips motioning for her to be quiet. she did the same and nodded, understanding his meaning in an apologetic sense. the cat was outside by this time and the danger of sneezing had subsided for little Lovey.
"Did I hear something?" Nanny asked herself aloud. She was suspicious, so she pulled up a chair, which Thurston noticed, was facing the hallway and not the back door and begun to work on her needlepoint.
Thurston swiftly pulled Lovey out from the chaise and grabbed the bear. She did her best to follow her new friend closely in every move that he made, realizing that he had a very specific plan to sneak past his Nanny. The two crawled out the back door, which had been left ajar very slightly.
Lovey took a deep breath when they got back out into the garden. She loved the smell of roses and a-a- "achoo!"
"Cats again?" Thurston asked.
"Yes, sorry Thurston! And look, you got him out, you're my hero!" She said, leaning over to kiss his cheek.
"H-h-hero?" Thurston asked nervously. A girl thought he was a hero? And she'd...kissed him! Ew! Yuck! Disgusting! This all made Thurston feel...queasy...he couldn't hold back, he felt like he was going to...oh no! And without a word, Thurston Howell III threw up all over the rose bushes.
The seven castaways, back in the present day, turned back to look at Horace Douglas who was laughing so hard he'd turned a bright shade of rose red. Lovey thought he was almost the exact shade of roses that Thurston had lost his lunch on actually.
"Well I think it's a cute story!" Ginger defended.
"Yeah but...he threw up when he got his first kiss, I mean come on!" Blanche also thought it was hysterical. None of the several men she had been with had something as foolish as that!
Thurston pouted. The tawdry woman's teasing made him feel somehow less of a man, something that was awfully difficult for a Harvard man to take.
"Awe it's alright Thurston." Lovey soothed, taking his chin in her hand and turning his head to kiss his lips.
"See, he didn't throw up that time!" Gilligan reminded. "Ew, yuck kisses." He said more to himself, he didn't like watching people kiss all that much.
"Well whatever, now I've told you, that's how I fell in love, with Lovey."
"Awe!" They all, minus Horace and Blanche, uttered at once.
Thurston still didn't think it was a cute story, or at least, didn't think it was cute unless he was alone with Lovey, as that was the only time he'd ever admit that he agreed it was cute.
"Shu stop!" The Professor warned sternly, holding out his right hand to get everyone's attention. The castaways gasped and listened to the noise outside the cave. It was the close, rumbling and banging sound of a headhunter's drums!
Lovey felt chilled to her soul and snuggled up closer to her husband. Eunice felt the same and wished she had someone to snuggle up to. She subconsciously moved a little to her left and realized she was now sitting with the Skipper...she guessed it was better than no body at a time like this, and certainly preferable to Horace!
The Professor placed his index finger up to his lips to indicate that it was absolutely necessary that they all maintain the utmost silence so as not to give themselves away.
"A-a-achoo!" Lovey sneezed.