Sailor Uniform Showdown

Written by somemadao

Baka and Test is the creation and property of Kenji Inoue.

"We have a student council?" I asked our class rep, Yuuji Sakamoto, but he ignored me.

"Yesterday afternoon, at the Student Council general meeting, a concerned student from Class 2-D put forth a motion, which I'll read out loud right now for you all to hear." Yuuji removed from his jacket pocket a slip of paper. He read from it, "Please have Aki-cha... I mean, Akihisa Yoshiii-kun from Class 2-F wear the sailor uniform, and perhaps besides that, a variety of different girls clothing, instead of the boys uniform."

"Eh!" I sat up, surprised and alarmed by the motion Yuuji just read aloud to the class. It had to be Class 2-D's Miki Tamano's motion.

"All the class representatives voted on it, and it was passed by thirty-five votes, with one abstention."

"You're joking, right?" I said, trying to sound confident how I knew this was just a prank. Yeah, Yuuji would enjoy my consternation at this sort of predicament.

"It is hardly a joke, 'Aki-chan'," replied Yuuji, with an evil glint in his eyes.

Oh, this had to be payback for something I did. Or just as likely, for something Yuuji imagines I did.

"Incidentally, I wasn't the one who abstained from voting. In fact, I seconded the motion," said Yuuji.

I glared at Yuuji, but my expression only delighted him.

"Also, the one who abstained wanted to change their vote, because they'd heard it wrong."

"To a 'no', right?" I asked, hoping for this stranger's sympathy.

"To a 'yes', actually," said Yuuji.

"Damn you, Yuuji!" I shouted, ready to run at my mortal enemy.

"Hold on a second, Akihisa. Don't forget, as this concerns a single student rather than the whole student body, Student Council has little authority whether this motion is enforceable."

I sat, feeling relieved. But Yuuji wasn't finished, yet.

"Therefore, Council asked me to put the vote before Class 2-F."

I lunged at Yuuji, but was brought down by my classmates! Traitors! The whole lot of you!

"Before the meeting adjourned, there was an amendment made to have Hideyoshi Kinoshita follow the same rule."

"Uwe!" That had to be Hideyoshi, as no one in this class besides Mizuki Himeji had a voice that cute.

While I struggled under a mass of my classmates, I also imagined Hideyoshi in a skirt. My strength nearly gave out due to blood loss from my nose, but fortunately, my classmates must've imagined the same as I was able to overpower them, and push them off me.

"Sakamoto, we can't just force Akihisa to wear the girl's uniform," said Mizuki, her voice stern.

My savior, my angel? She would save me from this crisis.

Mizuki said, "It must be put to a vote, first!"

As though on cue, I was dogpiled upon, once again. And I knew, this time, I would not be able to escape the clutches of my miserable classmates. But still I had to show struggle! I would not dare to give up on my masculinity!

Yuuji read out the motion, "Does Class 2-F support the motion of having Akihisa Yoshiii and Hideyoshi Kinoshita wear the girl's uniform, and girls clothing while at school, rather than the boy's uniform?"

"Yuuji!" said Mizuki, angrily.

My sweet, beautiful angel...

"It needs to be seconded, first!" she said.

"Ah, right," said Yuuji. "Does anyone second the motion?"

Mizuki raised her arm. "I do."

"No!" I screamed, with blood spurting from my throat.

"Mizuki!" said Hideyoshi.

"Forgive me, Hideyoshi, but I just want to see Akihisa in cute girls clothing."

Yuuji brought forth the motion to a vote.

The answer, from the wastrel, hopeless, and above all else girl-deprived boys of Class 2-F was a thundering, "Yes!"

I walked down the hallway. Actually, it was closer to a stagger than a walk. Perhaps, it was really a series of falling forward, looking for a patch of floor I could collapse on.

"Aki-cha... Yoshii-kun!" said a girl from behind me.

I knew the voice. She was a strange girl, who liked me... to wear girl clothes. Her name, Miki Tamano, and she was a student of Class 2-D.

"Ah?" I said.

"I heard the great news! You'll be wearing the sailor uniform!"


"It's so wonderful! I can't believe it, but you just have so many admirers who want to see you as I do!" She grabbed my unresisting hand, and pulled me into an empty classroom. Inside was Mizuki, who was holding in her hands a girl uniform.

Aside, in a corner, was standing Hideyoshi in a different sailor uniform. He was shell shocked, staring at nothing. Inwardly, I cheered, as this was a dream I have had for as long as I've known Hideyoshi, but my glee receded. I slowly remembered it was my turn approaching.

I looked at the uniform, and then at Mizuki, who swallowed, nervously.

I looked at Miki, who was staring at me, wearing a strange smile that was somewhere between pride and admiration.

I looked at the uniform, and then turned away, and tried to start running.

However, Miki grabbed my shirt, and tore it off, sending buttons flying! I fell to the floor, and was pinned down. That girl's strength! What was she...?

"Aki-chan, you'll be the school's idol, for sure!" Miki said, panting. "You're just so cute that I can't tell if you're really a guy or a girl, anymore!"

"I'm a guy, for sure!" I cried out, tears in my eyes. "And... and lemme dress myself, please!" The tears wouldn't stop flowing. Something was being taken from me, but what it was, I couldn't understand.

"Yoshii-kun... I mean, Akiko-chan!"

"Not that name, please!" I shouted. "You got it right the first time. Why'd you have to change it?" Just how bad did this girl want me to be a girl? I looked to Mizuki for support! Maybe she'd see reason if she witnessed firsthand my desperation. "Please, Mizuki?"

"I... I can't..." Mizuki said, turning away.

My hopes rose. Perhaps I could remain a man, now?

"You're just too cute, Akihisa!" she said, tears happily flowing from her eyes.

"I'm the one who wants to cry!"

Miki grabbed my pants, and tore them off in a single motion. In a different life, perhaps I would've been happy to have a girl be so forceful with me, but this was instead a tragedy! Thankfully, I had on a clean pair of boxers.

"We need to do something about these," said Miki, pinching at the boxers.

No! My last castle! I would defend it to the death (preferably Yuuji's death, if at all possible). I grabbed onto them, with every intention of dying if need be to hold onto them.

"They're so uncute, but then again, Akiko-chan with boxers under the skirt. People would think it's so boyish and cute just how hard Akiko-chan wants to be a man!"

"That's cause I am a guy! Stop trying to change my gender!"

"Sporty panties might suit him," said Minami Shimada, from behind me. She was another classmate of mine from Class 2-F.

I turned to look at her, and upon seeing her, and her seeing me seeing her, she gave me a thumbs up. "Isn't this exciting?" she asked.

"No!" I said, adamantly. "And no panties could ever suit me." On this issue, I would be firm. I would not give in.

Miki pulled from her bag a set of sporty panties. She proffered them to me, but I pushed them away.

"Aki," said Minami. "Take them, and go put them on. Also, I'll be doing irregular skirt flips on you to see if you're wearing them, from now on."

Blood started falling from the ceiling.

I looked up, seeing another of my classmates, Kouta 'Mutsurini' Tsuchiya, clinging to the ceiling, stealthily like a ninja. Blood was pouring from his nose.

"Oi, Mutsurini. Get down from there, and stop taking perverted pictures of me!" I said, annoyed.

"I haven't taken a single perverted picture," said Mutsurini.

"I said pictures. Plural." I then shouted, "And how could you get a nosebleed over the thought of my skirt getting flipped?"

Mutsurini again lied, saying, "I didn't get excited at the thought of your skirt getting flipped." His nose started pouring out even more blood.

"Mutsurini, not on the clothing!" said Minami, glaring at the ninja voyeur, whose dripping was nearing the clothes.

I chose this moment to try escaping. However, someone had grabbed me by the boxers, and I fell over.

"Do not leave without me, Akihisa!" screamed Hideyoshi, who'd been the one to knock me over. I looked at my comrade, and saw tears welling in his eyes. It was so enchanting... But remember! He's a guy! I had to remind myself of that, again.

I grabbed his hands, and said, looking deep into my friend's eyes "I'll escape with you, Hideyoshi." I quickly stood, picked him up, and began to carry him, running from the classroom.

"Ah! Let me down, Akihisa!" Hideyoshi began to struggle in my arms. "I am not a girl, and I am not enjoying being carried like a princess!" Whether he was shouting this at me, or himself, I couldn't guess.

"Just a little longer," I said, gently. Our captors had quickly transformed into pursuers, and were a mere half a step behind me.

"Akihisa, there is a a barricade ahead!" Hideyoshi, shouted, gesturing to a pile of desks blocking off the hallway beyond.

Crap! Someone had guessed I'd try escaping. It could only be... "Yuuji!" I said, growling.

I was tackled from behind, dragged down to my knees, and then someone put a wet cloth over my mouth...

I quickly lost my senses.

"Aki-chan," someone said. This same person was gently poking my face. "If you don't wake up, I'll kiss you..."

It wasn't a warning, but a promise. I knew the only one to try waking me with a kiss as my elder sister, Akira.

I covered my mouth with both hands, and felt something warm and moist press against the back of my hands. Her lips...

"Gewai!" I screamed, through my fingers, in utter fear and disgust.

"Che. He's awake," I heard my sister exclaim.

I opened my eyes, looking right at my sister, whose face was expressing complete disappointment, and was right near my own.

"Rise and shine, Aki-chan," Akira said, happily, the disappointment disappearing in an instant.

I continued covering my mouth, and discreetly tried to back further away from Akira. Unfortunately, the bed I was lying on stopped my retreat.

"Your classmates brought you home after you'd fainted in school," said Akira.

My thoughts went over the last few moments of when I was at school. Perhaps it'd all been a dream?

"And they made sure to tell me the wonderful decision your class made regarding your gender," said Akira, happily.

I was sure I was paling. I could feel blood draining from my face. Was it already coagulating?

An instant later, I could see myself from above, with Akira bending over me. This made sense though, as my life was over. I then began to ascend to heaven.

However, Akira's hand shot out, and grabbed my spirit by its tail, and then she grabbed my ghostly head, and stuffed me back into my body through my mouth.

"Ugh," I said. I quickly covered my mouth as it felt as though I was going to throw up my soul.

"Aki-chan, while you might not like this decision, I am fully supportive of it." Akira stepped back, giving me space to sit up. "Day and night, I've been fretting some perverted and malicious girl would appear to steal you away from me, and then force you to commit humiliating and obscene acts that aren't fit for proper fiction. But now, with this new development, I can fully rest assured that you're only in danger of a strange boy picking you up and doing all those things to you."

"And how's that any better!" I shouted, standing up, getting off my bed. "And the only pervert I worry about doing something to me is you!"

"Aki-chan, you should know we're alone together in your bedroom..." Akira stopped speaking, allowing my imagination to to describe what she was insinuating. "Anyway, I've replaced your entire wardrobe with girls clothing, as well as uploaded hundreds of pictures of you sleeping in your new pajamas."

I looked at what I was wearing. Cute! Is what a girl's reaction might be! But these, on me! Pink hearts? On yellow fabric? And what was she saying about uploading my pictures...? To where?

"Your online journal already has a few thousands followers, and it's only been a few hours since I set it up! That's about sixteen new readers a minute, Aki-chan!"

My sister showed me the screen on her WhyPad. I looked at the website displayed. Indeed, there were photos of me in my new jammies (in various states of undress). There were also pictures of me in new school uniform (while unconscious). Plus, there were archives of me from a previous summer trip to the beach, as well as from my school's recent festival.

I vomited blood in my mouth, but swallowed it upon seeing something else that needed to be yelled about: "Photo books for sale!"

"Of course," said Akira, as though it were natural. "I had to negotiate with your creeper peeper friend for the master copies and photo negatives for his unauthorized editions of his photo books of you, but he saw reason, eventually."

Mutsurini...! I cried out, inwardly, but then again, he voted for me to have to dress as a girl, so it was a tempered sympathy I felt for him.

"Anyway, you're well on your way to becoming a top net idol, Aki-chan!" said Akira. "Listen to this review. 'Akiko-chan might not have the glamor of Hideyoshi Kinoshita, but to us average guys, Aki-chan is the seemingly more attainable idol!'"

"No! I don't want to be attainable!"

"And unlike Hideyoshi, Aki-chan, girls don't feel threatened by you," said Akira. "You're receiving the most amount of votes for most likely to be best friend for life, online."

Be... best friend... for life...! My knees gave out on me, and so I collapsed to the floor. Did that mean no matter how hard I tried, I could never be more than friends with a girl?

"I won't accept this!" I shouted, pathetically.

Akira took my hands, and placed something in them. Yen. Paper. Some with five zeros.

"Akira?" I looked at her, my eyes asking questions that my mouth seemed unable to do.

"This is part of your share from the profits from the photo books of you." Akira closed my hands. "You can keep it. And there's so much more, too."

"With this much I could..." Images of me sitting in front of giant flat screen television with a controller in each hand filled my head. However, each of these images was of me in a dress, each cuter than the last. "No...!" I couldn't do it, not even for a million yen.

"With the proper guidance, you could even earn tens of millions of yen, Aki-chan!"

Not... not even for ten million yen...!

"Or even hundreds of millions."

Not... even... how much now? Too many zeros.

I once had a dream where I overdosed on video games. It was so wonderful...

But the one I was having right now starred me, wearing a pretty green dress.


My sister quickly put me into a sleeper choke hold. After a second, I began to tap her on the arm to let her know I'd given in, but she continued to hold on.

"Shush, sweet Aki-chan. Let Sister take care of everything for you."

My last thought before darkness overtook me was, 'I'll never give up! I'll get my manhood back, even if it's the last act in my life.'