Chapter 1

**********I do not own any of the characters; they belong to who they belong to. No copy right intended. This story is rated mature. It contains profanity, violence and adult situations.********


Charlie just couldn't take it anymore. Me walking around in a daze and dyeing a little more inside every day. I was being sent to stay with my Mom in Arizona for a while. Not that I blame him. To be honest I couldn't stand myself anymore either. I stopped existing the day that Edward Cullen and his family walked out of my life.

That day changed me forever. I basically lost the will to want to live or even try to anymore. I walk around throughout the day, not even completely sure of what was going on around me. I stopped caring about what life held for me when they left. My nights when I could actually sleep, were haunted by Edward. Dreams or nightmares they have all become the same for me.

Everyone had already given up and abandoned me except three people Charlie, Jacob and Angela. Well I guess there was only two people left now that could stand to be around me.

When I went into the bathroom, I took a hard look at myself in the mirror. What I saw staring back at me was horrible. I have lost so much weight, my hair was so dull. Not that it really matters anyway; I always wear it in a pony tail and some days I don't even comb it.

But it was my eyes that scared me. The same ones that use to show so much happiness and love. They are now just black holes of nothing. Showing me I have no love left in me to give to anybody, including myself.

Going back to packing up my things. I took a look around the room to see if I had forgotten anything, then I saw the rocking chair. The same rocking chair where Edward had spent so many nights watching me sleep. I felt like I couldn't breathe and the tears were coming again.

Going outside to get some air. I promised myself I had shed my last tear over someone who didn't love me or never really did. I have broken that promise over and over again.

Jacob came over to see me before I left. He was the only person I really seem to relate to anymore. He knows my whole truth, along with the sorrows and burdens I carry with it. I don't know how I will get through the summer without him. He didn't want me to go but I told him maybe a change in scenery would be just what I needed. At least there would not be a constant reminder of Edward ever where I turned.

Jacob hugged me and made me promise I would call him every day while I was gone. He was worried I would be unprotected without him and another vampire will find me.

"Don't worry Jake. Unless Arizona stops being sunny, I think I'm safe."

It's not like I would never come back here. It's only going to be until school starts this fall. Besides I have missed Renee and Phil. This would give me time to spend with them, or at least it was what I kept telling myself.

Cooking dinner for Charlie one last time, something else I haven't done much of lately. I wanted to do this for him. I felt horrible for all the hell I have put him through. He tried his hardest to help me. But I could never tell him the truth. So there is no way he would ever understand what I'm going through.

There was no one I could ever tell any of the truth to or share my secrets with other than Jacob. I have lived a lie for over a year now. Keeping up the fa├žade of false pretenses, never knowing where the truth really start and the lies end. Pretending that one more lie will justify hiding the truth, just like the Cullens taught me to do.

The phone rang and it was Renee. There was a change in plans. Phil just signed with a ball club in California. She was so happy and excited. They have waited for him to get this offer for so long.

Renee is going to meet me there after she tied up loose ends there. She had already changed my ticket without even asking me. I would be staying with a friend of hers, Mary Winston, from high school.

Charming was where she had spent most of her senior year until Grand Dad had a work transfer. They moved here to Forks, Washington. Shortly after moving she met Charlie and they were married, because she was pregnant with me.

It did make me kind of nervous going to a new place where I know no one again. It was like a repeat of Forks all over. But, I have nothing to stay here for anymore so I guess it really doesn't matter.

Charlie was not thrilled about Renee changing plans at the last-minute. I convinced him it would be fine. I am going to miss him so much. I have always had to take care of Renee and she liked to pretend I was her sister instead of her daughter. At least that is what she wanted everyone to believe.

Charlie has been a good dad to me, a care giver just like me. All the things he has done for me and the way he has taken care of me. I will never forget it.


Mary met me at the airport just like Renee said she would. She was very kind to me and settled. Completely the opposite of what Renee was. Mary seemed to behave more like a real mother should.

She gave me her spare bedroom and told me to make myself at home. I was exhausted from the flight and it was really hot here today. After taking a cool shower I must have dozed off because Mary woke me up knocking on the door.

"Bella I have to go to work, I work the night shift. I have not had a chance to go to the market yet. So I'm going to leave the keys to the truck for you. If you want you can go into town and get something to eat. It's an old fixer upper but, it was cheap."

We went out to the garage; the truck was probably only ten years old. If she considers this old, then she would think mine was from the Stone Age.

"Thanks Mary and I will take good care of it."

Brushing my hair and putting on some makeup trying to hide the bags and dark circles under my eyes. I drove around for a while. This place was similar to Forks in a small town way. I found a place to eat, it was full of families.

The food wasn't bad. I spent time just reading my book and watching happy families interacting with one another. I paid the check and went to leave.

Parking down the street a ways from the restaurant. I had to walk past four men sitting on their motorcycles to get back to the truck. They all had on matching leather and looked kind of scary. The one got off his bike.

"Well hello there, I haven't seen you around here before."

He started walking around me. "Because honey, I would have remembered you."

My heart started beating faster and I was trying to get around him. It reminded me of the night Edward had saved me from those men.

The one with blonde hair got off his bike too. "Tig, knock it the fuck off, you're scaring her. Sorry about that, you will have to excuse him because he's mentally retarded."

Walking as fast as I could to get to the truck. I got in and it wouldn't start. I sighed, why does my life have to be one big cluster fuck? The blonde guy was standing by the truck door.

"Are you having car trouble?"

"I don't really know."

He opened the door and I moved away from him. He looked confused about why I did that.

"Relax, I'm not gonna hurt you."

He grabbed the lever and popped the hood. The others came over. I got out too; he was trying to help me by seeing what was wrong with the truck. I didn't think he meant me any harm. They thought it might need a new alternator.

"If you want I can fix it when the garage is open. Is there any body you can call to come and get you?"

"No, there is no one that I can call. This isn't even my truck, it belongs to Mary Winston.

"How do you know Mary?"

After telling him about coming here to stay with her until my mom gets here. His best friends was Mary's son, Opie.

He walked over to his bike. "Are you coming or not?"

I just stood there; I wasn't sure about leaving with him. What if he did try to hurt me? He got on his bike and patted the seat.

"I know Mary will not be off work until morning, I can't just leave you here."

"Put this on and hold on."

He gave me his helmet and told the others to go; he would meet them back at the clubhouse.

The ride was scary, I was clutching on to his leather for dear life. As I was watching the pavement zoom by, I swear I saw Edward's face. I heard him in my head saying you promised you wouldn't do anything dangerous.

Needless to say it was totally freaking me out and I wanted to have a panic attack. But I was so scared from the ride I told myself to wait until I could touch the ground to have a nervous break down.

He wasn't lying about knowing Mary. He never asked for directions and we pulled into her drive way. He shut off the engine.

"You can let go of me now."

"Sorry about that and thank you for bring me here.

"My name is Jax, what's yours?"

He got my cell phone number. He was going to tow Mary's truck and fix for her at no charge. He said once it was fixed he would call me. Then he would send someone to pick me up to come and get it.

Walking to the house when Jax yelled. "Hey."

He pointed to his head. "I'm gonna need that back."

What a dork I must have looked like. I took the helmet off and handed it back to him.

"I'll see you tomorrow Bella."

Telling myself I wasn't tired and after spending the last three hours thinking about what happened tonight. I still had Edward in my head and couldn't get him out of it . I was afraid to close my eyes. I was doing anything not to fall asleep.

Doing some of Mary's house work; it was the least I could do for her letting me stay here. She had a photo album out on her desk, it was opened already. As I flipped through it, it contained the same three couples; Piney and Mary, JT and Gemma and Clay and Renee.

My mother looked so young and beautiful. She never mentioned having a boyfriend named Clay. But then again she has had so many, maybe he meant nothing to her.

I hope you enjoyed reading me. This story will contain my favorite hot boys.