As I, Wendy Everly, pace the length of my room in anxiety, I realise something. Life isn't fair, but if I want what I want, I am going to have to pick between the two men that I love. And fast. I want to be with Finn right now, but at the same time... I have a connection with Loki which is indescribable. I can't make up my mind, so I've decided to make a list.
LIST NUMBER 1
WHY I SHOULD BE WITH FINN
He makes me feel better. When I'm with him I feel comforted. I don't forget my worries, but they feel smaller, less real.
It's the safe option. He will protect me, care for me, he is a guarantee of safety. I know that he will be faithful, because his job is to be faithful and not to lie. To me, at least. But, what if he gets boring and I'm tempted to cheat or have an affair with… Him.
I love him, and he loves me. Even if he won't admit it, I know that he loves me, because love isn't one-way and I see it in his eyes. Every time he touches me his eyes burn with passion and longing. And I love him more than he will ever know.
And that's all that Wendy could think of. She was appalled at herself; Finn was her love, but… No, she couldn't think about that. Time for the next list.
LIST NUMBER 2
WHY I SHOULD BE WITH LOKI
He takes away all of my worries. Doesn't just make them smaller, really makes them disappear. When I'm with him, I can laugh and talk to him as though he's an old friend. Not a Vittra. Well, former Vittra. But that doesn't matter to anyone but me.
He is exciting. I never know what will happen when he's around. From kissing in the garden and being asked to run away with him, (Which was really a proposal!) to having the best dance of my life with him at my wedding (and not to him!), he is just full of surprises. But that can be a bad thing too.
He's in love with me. And I love him too. That might be a problem, considering I told Finn the other day that it was him and only him. I'm SUCH AN IDIOT!
Why do I constantly do this to myself! I just dig myself deeper into a hole of my own creation, hurting everyone around me in the process. I need to talk to someone. I'll talk to Loki. And Finn. Maybe that will clear my mind and help me to decide. Maybe, if I'm lucky, one of them will do something and I will be able to decide easily because of that something. But luck doesn't come to me, and it doesn't come easily to Finn or Loki either, so basically, we're all screwed.