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It takes three hours for him to give up on sleep.
Britt's asleep almost as soon as her head hits the pillow, Quinn following not long afterwards with her fingers in Santana's hair. Puck was tired, Puck was drained, Puck wanted to just sleep and ignore everything. But his lip still hurt and his brain didn't shut up.
He wasn't sure if he was mad at Kurt, mad at himself or just fucking confused at this point. So after thinking in circles for three hours, he extracted himself from the snuggle pile that was Britt's bed and left the trinity to sleep in peace while he pottered around downstairs. He didn't mind cleaning up after the party, since it finally shut up his wondering mind.
By the time Brittany came downstairs, he'd cleaned everything and ditched the trash, the glasses were in her dishwasher, the sink was scrubbed out and the furniture was put back in place. He got a little kiss on the cheek before Britt went to start breakfast and Puck opted for a shower.
It was then that he got to have a look at the damage on his lip; it'd healed enough that it wasn't bleeding, skin already closing over the top of his lower lip, but it was obviously bruised and the blood just sat under the skin, giving his mouth a darker colour. He didn't really get it. He'd hooked up with girls who didn't want to admit they'd done it because of boyfriends, but they usually ignored him and pretended nothing happened, and he'd hooked up with girls who did admit it happened and either left their boyfriends because they thought he'd date them, or wanted to hook up again regardless. The former girls never glared at him, never watched him every fucking moment they could, never bit a chunk from his mouth.
Kurt was practising some pretty weird attempts at hiding this shit.
So, he didn't get it. Sure the kiss was a dare, and Blaine was fine with the dare, so Kurt could've just fucking kissed him and moved on. Nobody would've thought anything. So why the fuck did Puck have to get a figurative slap in the face? That's what it was meant as, wasn't it? If this was what relationships were like, even before the fucking thing started, then he was out. So very, very out.
"Puck, c'mon! Britt made waffles!" Puck hates that Quinn never seems to get a hangover. She can drink as much as him, fall over, pass out and in the morning she's bright as a fucking daisy. One day he's going to draw on her face just to piss her off. Ignoring that irritation for now, Puck grabbed his jeans and shirt, pulling them on to head downstairs for waffles, because who says no to waffles?
"Hey." The three of them are awake, although Santana's going to take a little bit longer to function, and Britt's set out some waffles and OJ from them all.
"You didn't sleep?" Britt sort of nods her head to the dishwasher, like that explains what she's meaning, and it's weird that he's getting to the point where it does. He's always sort of been friends with Britt, but never in the close way like Santana, he's never been able to figure out exactly what the rest of her unfinished sentences mean.
"I think it was the punch, too keyed up." It's a lie, he's exhausted; between Quinn's meddling, Kurt's confusing reactions and Santana's mild melt-down on the drink, he's totally and utterly emotionally and mentally drained. But he can't seem to sleep just yet.
"Listen," Santana sighs slightly, putting her fork down to look at him. "I screwed things up last night, and I'm sorry. I know that it wasn't-"
"It's okay," he interjects before she can get to the 'but we'll try something else' part of her speech, because he can't see the point in that right then. "Kurt's happy with Blaine, it's kinda stupid to break them up because we think he's boring so, let's just move the fuck on." Mutual orgasms, fuelled by drink, do not a relationship make. Puck's really trying to figure out why he'd convinced himself he wanted one.
"You wanna go shopping?" Quinn just smiles at him, and he shakes his head, bows out of spending the day with them so they can do their own thing. He helps clear up breakfast before he heads home, Britt sending him away with more punch so that he still has 'happy unicorn magic' to fall back on. It wouldn't suck to hang out with them, keep him from feeling sorry for himself, but with Q just agreeing to be part of whatever they are with Britt and San, Puck figures it's better to leave them to figure that shit out just now before San and Q chicken out.
So he went home, messed around with his little sister, assured his mother that he was fine, his lip was just an unfortunate incident with a bottle of beer and a game and she left it alone. He still couldn't sleep, because he just kept wondering what the ever loving fuck was Kurt's problem? Even Quinn denying they'd hooked up wasn't this fucking stressful and confusing.
He hated this summer. When did it end?
"Seriously dude, would you just come and hang out?" He's pretty sure that ignoring the entire glee club -minus the trinity, because Santana still just showed up at his house regardless of what he said, wasn't the best way to go about things. But the girls were at cheer camp for the next two weeks and he was legit losing his mind with Rachel and Mercedes and all the couple things.
"I'm not feelin' it man, I'm just gonna give my ma the night off watching the brat, okay?" He's picked up some more work, Sarah's got a bunch of parties to go to this summer and his ma is still working her ass off. So he thinks maybe giving her a hand isn't that big a deal and Finn will leave him the fuck alone.
"Didn't you say that Sarah was with your aunt this week?" Did he? Is she?
"What?" Puck got off the floor in his room, clicking off his game and wandering through to Sarah's room to find that, yeah, she wasn't in it. "Well, what fucking day is it?" He's so out of it, he knows he is. He can barely remember what week it is never mind the day. Most of the time he rolls through work during the day, makes grub for him and Sarah and sorts the house. He didn't go to Mercedes' party last week because he was watching Sarah and he doesn't plan on going to Rachel's in three weeks because he's going to find an apocalypse that's coming just so he doesn't need to.
Not because Rachel is boring or that her party will suck, just because she's throwing it with Blaine, and Puck is not going through that again. His mouth still tingles sometimes, thank you very much. So he's basically avoiding them, yes, but it's not like he doesn't have good reason, and if this is what it takes to keep Kurt fucking happy with his little boy toy and not trying to maim Puck's mouth for no fucking reason (he's been through the possible reasons, they all fucking suck) then that's fine.
"Man, you need to come out with us. Just come on, it'll be fun. We're hitting up the roller skate place," and what Puck wants to know is who 'we' are. He knows that San, Quinn and Britt won't be there, that's the biggest annoyance, but he doesn't want to ask who's all going because then even Finn will know that he's avoiding someone.
"Are you kidding? I just found out I have the house to myself, I'm playing fucking hermit." And he will, he'll get his guitar out, he'll play a little, maybe even write a little since he's starting to get into that a little more since Nationals. He might go as far as to switch on the cable and watch some of that National Geographic stuff, 'cause he's finding he doesn't hate education when it's in television form.
"Dude, is that a new game?"
"Yeah, it's one where I hang up on you, turn off my phone and lock my doors. Have a nice night, don't bother me." And he does. Finn can bitch at him later, but Puck's pretty sure that if Kurt got it into his head, he could legit maim Puck good at the roller rink for something that Puck can't figure out.
For a guy who used to worry about his popularity so much, Puck's found he's actually rather comfortable with his own company.
Quinn comes back from cheer camp with a hickey on her neck and a brand new necklace. Apparently, Santana's kind of sentimental. The three of them have ridiculously dainty little chains with hollow hearts on them. Puck thinks it's a little sickening, but it's sort of cute the way Quinn keeps running her fingers around it while she talks. Apparently, the relationship is going very well.
He realises then, since he's been Mr Anti-Social for two weeks and three days now, that he might not mind his own company -and naturally his little sister and mother for those days when they were around, but he does sort of, maybe, just a little miss hanging out with people.
"So, Rachel's party." Just not that much.
"No." He stops her before she can start, "No schemes, no plots, no meddling. I am not going."
"Yes you are, Britt wants you there, she's upset that she hasn't seen you in ages, and Rachel's having a party and you've been moping around for long enough, so you're coming."
"I'm not moping. I don't mope. I brood. There's a difference." And even then, he's not brooding, not really. Because he just doesn't do shit like that. He's not moping or brooding about the fact that Kurt can's send a clear signal, because they are messed up. First there was the flirting at the party that started it all, then the mutual orgasm and Kurt did instigate that, and Puck was pretty sure when Kurt stayed the night it wasn't this whole drunk-can't-get-home thing. But the mornings always sucked, and Puck got the definite impression that Kurt was embarrassed that he'd let it go that far, that he regretted it. But there was the kiss right afterwards, sober even, the night Puck stayed at the Hudson-Hummel home and then the jealousy, oh, Puck figured out that all the staring and glaring, that was totally Kurt being jealous and Puck couldn't figure out why. Frankly, it pissed him off a little.
"Puck, just come to the party, okay? Britt, me and San won't do anything, we promise. But come and have fun." He's pretty sure she's been talking to 'Cedes, or possibly Rachel, because he's been getting texts and crap from those two asking him if everything's okay, and they keep trying to get him to do shit with him.
"Okay, fine, I'll come." And he's screwed if he gives in to Quinn this quickly just because they're actually friends now.
Fair enough, he didn't think that Rachel's party would suck. He didn't. But Artie is away with his parents on vacation and Lauren pretty much quit the club after Nationals, so when the glee club get together, he is officially odd man out. Usually, it doesn't bother him, he's fine with being the single dude in the group, but it just feels a little different now or something. Because it's all Finn and Rachel, Mike and Tina, Sam and Mercedes, Quinn and Santana and Brittany, Kurt and Blaine. So they'll all couple-y, or trio-y, and he's trying not to let it get to him, really.
He kind of knew he should've argued harder about not coming.
So he plants himself on Rachel's sofa in the 'Oscar room' and lets everything happen around him. Tina comes to sit beside him while Mike does a little pop and lock freestyle, Tina brings him a drink so he doesn't really mind their little ambush of couple-dom, and Mike's trying out some new stuff that he wants opinions on. It's just after that where he gets drawn into some debate between Mercedes and Sam, and he quickly catches that he's being watched by Rachel and Finn too. Like he needs constant supervision or something.
Sam brings a bottle of tequila with him, and it's a bad, bad terrible idea, but Puck starts drinking it anyway. He completely lets the conversations slip past him, barely paying attention, giving little input and eventually, when Mercedes and Sam start arguing about Avatar -like Puck cares, Santana comes over to steal him.
"How much of that has he drank?" Puck knows she's meaning the tequila, but he's not going to tell her that Tina brought him a Jack and coke before that, or that he had three beers before that, or that he's done shots with Britt already too. What she doesn't know won't give him a headache.
"It was full when I gave him it." Sam just shrugs like it's no big deal, and it wouldn't be, if Santana wasn't a total mother hen when he grabbed a bottle of tequila.
So, maybe the first time he drank tequila he got into a fight with five guys from a rival school football team and ended up with a broken fist, jaw and a black eye, and maybe he'd been on tequila the night he drove his ma's car into the side of a building, and maybe he'd been drunk on tequila the one time he'd fallen off his roof and almost shattered his knee. It was just a random string of unfortunate incidents, it did not mean that tequila made him reckless, stupid, argumentative or suicidal like Quinn and Santana seemed to think. He's totally not ever thought about offing himself 'cause that shit is far too serious and far too deep and it's just not him.
He still ends up in the kitchen upstairs, Santana fussing with some water and petting down his face with a cloth, like it'll help sober him up at all. She goes as far as to try and find something to eat, but he's not stuffing himself on Rachel's vegan snacks, 'cause those things are pointless, and he tells her as much all the time.
"Fine, stay here, I'm gonna go get Quinn and Britt ready and we're leaving." Santana, for some reason, is taking this party sober, so he doesn't bother arguing. He doesn't know how long he's alone upstairs, probably not all that long, because Santana's pretty efficient about stuff like rounding up her girls. It's enough for him to stick his head in Rachel's fridge, half to cool down the thumping of his head and half to see if she's got any diet coke in there. She does, so he counts it as a success.
Only when he comes out of the fridge, Kurt is right there and it's enough to startle him into almost dropping the can. Fucking Kurt and his fucking light footsteps and stupid sneaking around. When Kurt snorts a little, Puck realises he just said that out loud.
"I wasn't actually, I called your name twice, but you seemed pretty interested in what was in the fridge." Puck just shrugs, turning away to lean beside the sink; half to keep him standing steady and half to put the distance between him and Kurt. "Haven't seen you in a while."
"Well yeah," Puck just snorts and snaps open the can, "I tend to avoid people when they try to chew off my lip." It took a while for that to heal as well, because he kept running his tongue or teeth over the split and wondering what the fuck Kurt's deal was. "What the fuck is up with that anyway?" He figures that even if tequila doesn't make him stupid like that or whatever, it does make him just a bit more confrontational than usual. "Seriously, you tell me to keep my mouth shut and what, decide to hammer that point home by biting it? My sister doesn't even bite anymore."
"I-" Kurt sort of stares at him, before blinking rapidly and then blushing. Puck hates that he kind of likes that blush, "I thought that you were drunk and-"
"And what, I happened to miss the fact that you were in my lap? I'm pretty sure I participated in that kiss. Up until the bite."
"At your house. I thought that-" Kurt shrugs, and Puck just shakes his head.
"Bullshit, you knew I wasn't drunk, not nearly drunk enough not to know what was going on." Puck has a habit of drinking himself sober, it's something that happens when you spend freshman year almost constantly drunk. Alcohol tolerance builds up, he learned that from his old man. But Kurt looks a little cowed from Puck's outburst, and Puck should feel bad about it, but you know what, good. After the shit Puck's had to muddle through and figure out, all because Kurt's so fucking bi-polar with this whole thing.
"I was jealous." Kurt just whispers it, and Puck needs to stop listening to his own internal rant to listen to Kurt. "You were all over Quinn the very next day, and I- I was sober enough at Brittany's to let my anger get the best of me and-"
"I don't get you," Puck's starting to feel horribly sober, too sober really, considering he's drank the best part of a bottle of tequila and other mixes of alcohol. "You say that- You pretty much tell me to forget it, 'cause you don't..." Puck just shakes his head again. "You don't get to be jealous, you're the one with a boyfriend. Quinn's with San and Britt, we were just playing around." He doesn't think he should need to explain things, because Kurt doesn't deserve the explanation, does he? "You don't get to be jealous."
Why the hell would Kurt be jealous? Kurt's the one with the boyfriend, Kurt's the one denying they did anything, Kurt's the one that told Puck to pretend they didn't, Kurt's the one that wants to keep his precious Blaine, so Puck can do whatever the fuck he wants, and whomever he fucking wants.
Kurt's mouth opens and shuts a few times and Puck's almost convinced that he said all that out loud as well, so he shoves himself away from the sink, intent to go sit outside and wait for Santana; the cold air would help sober him some more anyway. But Kurt pushes him, stops him from leaving and pushes him into the corner of the counters in the kitchen.
"That's not- It's not that- I don't-" Kurt doesn't usually have trouble talking, he's usually pretty prepared and put together and Puck sort of revels in the fact that he was the one winding the little princess up enough that he forgot his wide vocabulary and all its scathing words. It'd be better if Puck could actually enjoy it though.
Kurt didn't bother trying to start over, just shaking his head and huffing and Puck figured this would be where he got to walk away, where he got to leave and just ignore everything, for all the good that was doing him. But Kurt moved closer, practically pinning Puck in against the counter with his hips pressing in to Puck's, Kurt's long fingers grabbing the back of Puck's neck to pull him into a kiss.
Puck was resolute, he wasn't letting it happen. Kurt flicked his tongue at Puck's lips and Puck kept his lips closed, clenching his teeth tightly until Kurt nipped just slightly on his lower lip and Puck instantly unclenched his teeth and parted his lips in a light gasp. It gives Kurt the chance to slip his tongue into Puck's mouth and Puck half thinks about biting him, just so that he can suffer for a little while, until Kurt rolls his hips or bucks forward, and Puck moans at the pressure that causes his dick to sit up and take note. It shouldn't be happening, Puck knows it shouldn't be happening, but there are certain things he just doesn't say no to; like the knee Kurt presses between his thighs, pressing up with just the right friction to pull a moan from Puck's throat, or the way one of Kurt's hands slips under Puck's shirt to stroke over his abs with those fucking soft as hell fingers. Puck couldn't help responding to it, pleasure was pleasure and he was just a touch hedonistic, and it was like Kurt just knew where to stroke or press or how to kiss.
Shit, he was letting it happen again.
Pulling back from the kiss, Puck opened his mouth tell Kurt to stop when Kurt leaned up to press his mouth against Puck's throat, tongue flicking against his carotid artery before dragging up to his ear and teeth nipping his lobe before he sucked on it. Puck caught sight of Santana turning from the kitchen doorway and leaving and fuck what else had he missed?
"Kurt," apparently, Puck had to be the one to get things under control again.
"I didn't regret it," Kurt's breath is hot against Puck's ear, sending a shiver down his spine as Kurt rocks his thigh up, knee rubbing into Puck's erection to tease out another groan. Puck's hands find their way to Kurt's hips without thought, Puck wanting to chase the pleasure and forget why he's not meant to, forget that it's another of those times where there's someone else and Puck's just the secret little hook up. "That wasn't why I-" Kurt moans against Puck, turning to press their mouths together again and Puck stops trying not to want it.
Pressing his hips into Kurt, Puck nips on Kurt's lip enjoying the breathy sigh that escaped Kurt when Puck dropped a hand to grasp Kurt's erection through his pants. He uses his thumb to flick open Kurt's pants, pushing the zipper down as he shoved his hand into Kurt's far too tight jeans and stroked up the hard length of Kurt's cock. Back arching, Kurt pressed into it, sucking on Puck's lip while he groaned and Puck was really putting a lot of faith in Santana keeping everyone out of the kitchen right then.
Stopping himself from thinking about it too much, Puck twisted them, pushing Kurt into the counter and pulling away from the kiss, biting at Kurt's lips just once lightly before using both his hands to push Kurt's jeans down a little. He's still amused at the lack of underwear and he knows for sure that he's going to start wondering if Kurt's ever wearing any. But Puck can feel his heartbeat kicking up, because he's a little unsure about this, and it's Rachel's kitchen and all their friends and Kurt's boyfriend are downstairs right now, but Kurt isn't stopping him and Puck's sort of talked himself into it with something as simple as 'why not' going around in his head.
It's when he sinks to his knees that Kurt realises what he's about to do and Puck cuts off any of Kurt's useless rambling about not having to, and why they shouldn't because hestarted it, Puck would've just left, but Kurt started it, and damnit, Puck was going to have this. He flattens his tongue against the head first, licking over the top of Kurt's cock and tasting the wet bead of pre-cum at the tip. He's not put off, so he figures, what the hell. One of Kurt's hands fists in the small line of hair at the back of Puck's head while the other grips his shoulder, Kurt's hips inching forward as Puck sucks Kurt's length into his mouth.
"Fuck, Puck," Puck figures that for his complete lack of experience in this area, he'll use his experience in getting rather than giving. Wrapping a hand around the base of Kurt's cock, he inches in way down, taking as much as he can into his mouth before backing off and repeating; it's a strange fit, it's a strange feeling, as he runs his tongue over the underside of Kurt's cock, tracing the lines of veins with the tip, humming lightly and, after a few tries, he gets his nose to the soft hair at Kurt's pelvis. "Oh, sweet fuck." Kurt's hand clenches in Puck's hair, tugging hard as his fingers dig into the muscle of his shoulder and clenches tight.
Puck groaned at the grip, swallowing around Kurt before drawing back and returning, keeping up the pace and humming lightly as he went. His jaw ached slightly, the push of Kurt's hips occasionally making his eyes burn. He felt Kurt's legs tense, his hand on Puck's shoulder sliding to the back of his neck and Puck was made aware that Kurt was close, but didn't want Puck to pull away. With Kurt's grip on his hair and fingers digging into the back of his neck, Puck didn't have much choice. He drew off Kurt's length marginally, sucking around the head and groaned at the feel of it against his tongue, head moving to match the shaky thrusts from Kurt's hips until...
"Puck, God, Noah." There wasn't much to be said for the taste really, it wasn't anything disgusting, but it wasn't anything great either, a little bitter, but Puck just shifted to allow him to take it, lapping at Kurt's softening length the same way Kurt had for him and Kurt just let out a long, low hum as he stroked a hand over the line of Puck's 'hawk.
It was kind of weird, how turned on he was from sucking cock, but at this point, Puck was fairly certain that he'd just go with it. Not to mention the noises that Kurt made, and the soft petting of his hair. Puck was careful about tucking Kurt back into his far too tight pants, drawing up the fly closing the button over before pulling himself to his feet. He could absently hear the noise from the party, even as Kurt pulled their foreheads to press together and his hands run up Puck's sides.
"I love Blaine," Kurt's lips brush against Puck's as he whispers the words, like something will break between them if he raises his voice, "I'm not ashamed to say that I want you, I do, God I do," Puck can already hear the 'but' coming on. 'But you're not the kind of guy to date', 'but I could never take you home to my parents', 'but I don't see us as a serious thing', 'but I don't want you for longer than it takes to get off'.
"Tell San I'm waiting outside." Kurt tries to grip his arms, but Puck shakes him off this time, walking away and not stopping until he's at the curb along the sidewalk of Rachel's house. It shouldn't sting, because it's not any different from usual, so really, why the fuck does he care?
Britt's the first to get to him, teetering a little in her insanely high heels and Puck has to stand up to steady her. She wraps her arms around his shoulders while he hugs her waist and she pats his back. He finds he doesn't really mind her tugging him over to San's car.
At least they save the questions for later.
They wait until the morning.
He's not sure why, but he wakes up in Quinn's bed and that's just a little weird. What's weirder is that her mother is home and he's not been murdered in his sleep. Not to mention his dick is still attached. San and Quinn are missing from the bed, but Britt's still there, so he cuddles up with her and listens to her murmur about ducks and feeding the pigs before she starts to stir.
"Hey," he fucking loves the way Britt can smile at you like it's been years since she last saw you. He just smiles back. "No more frowns." Her finger runs over his forehead and he figures she was perceptive enough last night to figure out that he was in a bit of a downer mood. The shrug he gives her means that she snuggles into his arms and they get to stay in the warm cocoon of Quinn's bed for another ten minutes before Ms. Fabray knocks on the door.
It's weird, her barely blinking an eye at the fact that he's cuddling a semi-naked blond in her daughter's bed wearing just his boxers. But she doesn't even look embarrassed, or surprised, just telling them that she's made some breakfast and that Brittany's dress is being washed. He doesn't remember anything being wrong with Britt's dress, so he has no idea why it needs washed, but okay.
He ends up sitting at breakfast in just his jeans, since Britt insisted that she wear his t-shirt until her dress was ready. He wasn't prepared to argue with her. Ms. Fabray (who Santana and Britt call 'Judy' and Puck resolutely calls 'ma'am') heads out before they've finished eating, and Puck's struck with the fact that they brought him to Quinn's house, drunk and then spent the night in the same bed as him.
"Is your mom on drugs?" He feels it's important to ask. "Because she was super laid back about all of this, and I'd like to know what she's taking so I can get my ma on it." Quinn just snorts.
"She caught Santana and I one time," San looks smug, Quinn looks horrified, "at this point, I think I could start stripping and she'd just put it down to getting all my rebellion and crazy out during high school." Ms. Fabray might be onto something there.
"So, what the hell happened after we left Rachel's?" He's a little foggy on that, which is weird, because he totally remembers drinking almost an entire bottle of tequila, being dragged upstairs, he has vague memories of a conversation with Kurt and rather solid, surround-sound, technicolour, 3-D technology memories of giving Kurt head and then he's mostly a blank hazy blur of Britt's giggling, Quinn's stuffed pig Miss Snuffy and homemade smoothies.
"Well, after I came upstairs to find you and Hummel almost humping in the kitchen," Santana makes a point on starting with that, because it means he'll need to talk about it, it's her way of making sure he doesn't try to worm out of explaining it, "I kept everyone downstairs, told them Kurt was taking care of your vomiting ass. Berry pulled out the 'Spin the Bottle'," because they couldn't not do that now, he heard that Mercedes had 'Spin the Bottle Strip Dares' at her party. "Gave you guys the time to whatever but Britt here got a little tipsy." Britt just shrugged and grinned.
"When Kurt came downstairs and said you were waiting outside, Britt got a little panicked and we got together to leave. We got you in the car and we came back here." Quinn takes over and if this is how it's going to be, one of them starting and then just passing off the stories, he's going to get a cramp in his neck from switching looking at them. "Apparently, you're not allowed to go to bed unhappy." It definitely sounds like the type of thing Brittany would decide. "Why you wanted to make fruit and ice cream smoothies, no one knows."
"I watched Iron Chef with Sarah the other day there. Some shit just stuck."
"Well, the lid didn't, and at two in the morning, while drunk, we had to clean the kitchen while you licked banana, strawberry and vanilla smoothie off Britt's neck and chest." Quinn doesn't look amused, but Britt giggles and shit, he forgot that? Maybe tequila is evil. "Now, how about we go back to the kitchen, and what happened with Kurt?"
God, where does he even start?
"We talked. I think. I mean, I'm pretty sure he said something and I might've argued or just-" he's pretty sure he brought up the biting thing, and how shit it was, and how Kurt was a... "I think I called him names."
"Aren't you trying to get together with him?" Britt asks it completely seriously, ripping up a piece of her toast to put in her mouth. "Name calling stops being flirting in seventh grade, Puck."
"No, I think I was mostly pissed off about the whole tearing my lip open thing." Britt pouts at him, "And somehow we got kissing, and then there was the-" Puck just blinks a little, piecing it together. "Yeah, I sucked him off in Rachel's kitchen. What the fuck?" Quinn sighs and strokes the back of his head. He's seriously trying to figure out if he's subconsciously just fucking himself over, or if the universe hates his guts for something he did in a past life that he doesn't even believe in.
"But he was, I mean, Puck he's the one that's cheating, not you."
"Yeah, I know that, I get that it's not really my problem," and it's not, he's not the one that's lying to a guy he supposedly loves, he's not the one fooling around behind that persons back, he's just the guy that Kurt's doing it with, and ever since Beth, Puck's kind of tried not to be that guy. He caught himself before it happened with Rachel, he tried to be the guy for Lauren, but instead he's- "I don't even know why it matters anymore, okay. Pretty sure I said some shit that means he's gonna really avoid me."
It'd probably be easier if Kurt was avoiding him though, right? Because then Puck wouldn't need to put the effort into avoiding Kurt all the time.
"Okay, I'm gonna take Puck home, you are going to get showered and changed, we're meeting at the mall, going to the movies and hanging around doing shit all day." Santana doesn't leave room for argument and Britt just peels off his shirt to give it back to him.
"I'm sorry Kurt's not seeing your awesomeness, Puck. Sometimes dolphins just don't realise that they can have the shark." Puck just nods slowly, taking his shirt and the hug he's offered and accepting Britt's attempt at comforting him as what it is.
Kurt doesn't avoid him. Not really. Kurt just ignores him. Puck's pretty sure that's worse.
The girls make up for it. He's pretty sure he could go as far as to call them his girls. His girls who he just doesn't have sex with. It's a first for him; female platonic friends. Or as platonic as he'll get with his baby mama, fuck buddy and the girl that took his virginity. It's weird that it's not weird that they're the three most important females in his life, and they're together. It's just a little weirder that they still sort of tease him.
They have a pool party at Artie's place, since the pool is where he's like completely unhindered or whatever. It's fun and Artie's parents are pretty cool. They're oddly happy that their son is having eleven school friends over in the middle of the day to make a mess of their back yard, barbecue hotdogs and generally make a lot of noise.
Britt's bikini is literally almost not even there, he's surprised they could even call her bikini a bikini; it's barely strips of fabric and he is definitely not complaining, but there's a reason Mike falls into the pool while walking to the house (which is in the opposite direction of the pool). Puck and Santana both spend the afternoon waiting for it to snap or fall away.
Quinn gets him to rub her sunscreen into her back, and she goes as far as to drop the straps of her bikini down her shoulders so he 'doesn't miss anything', as if he fucking would. It's totally amusing when his thumbs rub along the base of her spine and she legit shudders back against him before she vanishes with San for twenty minutes.
Kurt doesn't even look at him.
Puck's not really all that surprised, a week before they go back to school for their senior year, when Finn asks if he can spend the night at Puck's house because Kurt's having Blaine over and they want to be alone, that it feels like he's been punched in the gut.
Even if he had eventually remembered everything that happened in Rachel's kitchen, it wasn't like he expected anything to change, so he can't figure out why it's such a big deal. It wasn't like he didn't know; Kurt was with Blaine, Kurt was staying with Blaine. That much was made perfectly clear. Realistically, Puck had to forget about it all, just ignore it like Kurt was, and they'd get around it all.
"So, um, what've you been up to lately?" Puck's not sure where the question comes from. They're sitting in his room, powering up his old Nintendo to play some Mario World when Finn just bats it out. "I just, I mean, we've not really hung out as much this summer."
"Well, you've been busy with Rach." Puck doesn't even mind. When Finn and Quinn started dating, Quinn totally demanded that he spend almost every waking moment with her. That sort of stopped after a while, and Puck had been kind of broody about Quinn taking up all Finn's time. But honestly, now, Puck doesn't exactly mind only hanging with Finn once every week or so. Maybe it was babygate, or maybe it's because San, Quinn and Britt are just easier to hang out with.
"Yeah, and I know that it's like against the bro-code or whatever, because we shouldn't like let a chick stop us from hanging out, and sometimes Rachel just plans these things and I don't want to say no to her or like, ditch or anything, but I feel shit about bailing on you for like the whole summer-"
"Dude, chill, I get it. She's only around for another year, you guys are figuring shit out, don't sweat it." They make it through two worlds before Finn starts again, and really, Puck should've expected this, because Finn has a habit of doing it.
"I guess it's just, you know, living with Kurt now, things are sort of strange." Puck wouldn't know, he's always had Sarah around in some way. Finn went from only child to semi-older brother. "Things are different, but in a good way." Puck doesn't really want to get into a conversation about Kurt, really. He'd rather not think about the reason why Finn is staying the night at his place. "And, like, you're okay, right?"
"What?" Puck's not sure why Finn decides to ask it, because he's pretty sure he's not been giving an impression otherwise.
"I just, you've been kinda quiet and stuff. Mike says you don't really hang out with him and Sam much," because Sam and Mike bring their girlfriends and it just turns into this insane smoosh-fest that Puck's not all that into. "And you only log on to Call of Duty like twice a week to play campaigns with Artie." Because most of the time he was working during the day and had Sarah at night or would hang with the trio.
"Dude, I'm fine. I've been working this summer, and hanging with the girls, and Sarah's been a little down in the dumps over some best friend drama that's going on, but I'm fine, really." He's not entirely telling the truth, because he's a fucking confused mess most of the time. The girls know how to drag him out of it, and Quinn's tried to get him to just shake it off and move on, Britt even tried to set him up with someone Tubbington thought was great for him. But for some reason, he's into Kurt in one of the worst ways, a way that he'd only previously really experienced with Quinn and look how that ended up, and he's having some existential crisis about how people saw him. Or at least how they measured his worth.
"Yeah, you and the girls, what's with that?"
"What'd'ya mean?" Puck's not sure how many of these questions are Finn wanting to know, and how many are Rachel's concern. Because yeah, okay he has been a little out of character this summer, maybe. It's mostly to do with the head trip and Kurt. And he knows that the last time he got wound up in his head like this, he got drunk and drove a car into a building and landed his ass in juvie. So Rachel is probably legitimately concerned about his mental health and the possible affects him erupting would cause for glee.
"Just like, are you and San like sharing Britt and Quinn or are the four of you some crazy poly-thagor-amorous thing?" Puck snorts slightly, because this is definitely Finn misquoting Rachel.
"It's polyamorous, but close try, and no. The girls are with each other, they're just," he wasn't overly sure what they were with him. Britt still hugged him and he got a few kisses out of her, she liked to snuggle into his chest too, but that was more a pillow thing than anything else. Quinn was actually more physical with him now than before and he and Santana were pretty much the same only they didn't have full blown sex. She'd even sent him two pictures of Quinn and Britt together. "Affectionate, I guess you'd call it." Britt was the first girl he'd ever slept with; they were fourteen, he'd sort of dated her for a week and they'd had sex for the first time on a lounger by her pool during the summer. He'd popped her cherry and she popped his. He'd been on and off sexual partners with Santana since the middle of freshman year, and almost everyone knew it. And Quinn, well, the Quinn thing was no secret. "We're, well, close, sort of."
Puck had no idea how this was going to go for senior year, if the trio were planning on being open or if it was just a case of nobody's business but theirs. At the rate things were currently sitting, between the overly affectionate behaviour with him and the fact that they weren't exactly shy around each other, Puck was fairly certain people would just assume the four of them were up to something too.
"It's just that, well, Kurt said that you and Britt were making out at Mike's." Oh yeah, they did do that. Puck couldn't help smirking at that.
"Yeah, yeah, Britt's a little more affectionate than Quinn and San." It probably did paint him a little as a whore, messing around with Britt while she was with San and Quinn, but it wasn't like they didn't know about it, and they all knew what was going on. Britt couldn't love anyone the way she loved Santana, and Britt was an affectionate girl, she just showed it far more physically than most people. And he was pretty much a physical person himself, words weren't exactly helpful when it came to him, actions were better. So when Quinn wanted to comfort him, it was with petting or cuddling, if San wanted to distract him, it was usually with her tongue in his mouth. Britt just liked touching.
"You don't think it's like, I mean, aren't they cheating?"
"But I mean, you're not dating any of them."
"No, I'm not. But none of us are hiding shit either, and it's just some harmless kissing, okay. Look, I'm not saying that everyone works that way, Rachel would never go in for this stuff, but San and Britt, shit man, is there a guy at school either of them haven't done? Sure, it's not normal or whatever, but no one's getting hurt and no one's hiding anything. Britt's not lying to San about macking with me and Quinn's not lying to Britt about doing San." He gets how it could come across, he does, but it's completely different. Never once has Brittany begged him not to tell Santana about what they were doing, not once has Quinn or Santana lied to Britt about them hooking up without her. Puck might not be in their relationship, but he's not exactly out of it either.
He already knows that if he does hook up with someone, in a legit, serious relationship, the making out and kissing stuff will stop with the girls. He's not saying they won't hang out and Britt'll probably still use him as her own pillow most of the time, but it's not like they're going to stick to some open relationship like that. Puck's pretty sure once the summer ends they'll get pretty serious about it just being the three of them anyway.
"I'm not dating anyone, all three of them are fine with how things are, just- Just shut up, okay?" He's getting dangerously close to having a 'feelings' talk with Finn, and he tends to avoid those since the last one they had; two weeks after Beth was born and adopted, Puck pretty much pushed to the point of breaking and Finn blubbering about the fact that he couldn't hate them all when he loved that little girl that wasn't even his. They don't talk about that, at all.
"Sorry, it's just, well, we don't really get it."
"First of all, who's 'we'?"
"Like me and Kurt, and Rachel although Rachel seems to sort of understand it better than Kurt and me." It's annoying that they've talked about it, that Kurt has talked about it. Like it's any of their business at all.
"Okay, here's how I'm gonna say it. Britt and San, totally into each other. Like, I'm pretty sure Santana's in love with her. But they're both kind of a little into Quinn too. Maybe more than a little. You know them, they've always been close, sometimes weirdly close. When you look at it like this, it's not that weird." It's not weird, not anymore. Before, when Britt was dating Mike and San was dating Matt and Quinn was dating Finn, sure, it was a little weird that the three of them were so fucking close they could read each other's minds. And Puck knows that Santana wasn't all that sure of how to deal with the stuff she felt for Britt and Quinn, he knows because they tended to get drunk and offload on each other.
"Yeah, but what about you?"
"What about me?"
"It's just-" Finn looked kind of awkward, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck and not looking over at Puck, "Kurt said some things, okay. I um, I know that-" there's a blush on Finn's cheeks that would put everyone to shame, and Puck's hit with the fact that Kurt told Finn. There's no other reason why Finn would be so pink in the face, so uncomfortable and would keep trying with the thread of conversation making him uncomfortable. "After we got home from Rachel's party, Blaine just sort of passed out on the sofa and Kurt was all awkward and weird, and I asked him what was up and he just started, like, ranting." Puck sits back against the side of his bed, because he's not sure how to deal with this. "He said that you guys, that you'd fooled around and stuff and at first I was mad because, seriously Puck, he's my brother. But then I was just disappointed because, well, he's with Blaine."
"Finn, it was-"
"I know. I know that it was the first party after Nationals, and I know that Kurt was the one who... I'm not mad at you, and I'm not angry or whatever that you didn't say anything. I get why, I do." A glance over at Finn tells Puck that he's being honest, which makes Puck wonder just how long Finn's been wanting to say something to Puck. Probably since the morning after Rachel's party. "And Kurt told me what you said." Which meant that Kurt remembered what happened, he didn't have the excuse of being drunk enough that he forgot it for a while before it came back to him, Kurt knew. He still picked Blaine. "That's why you've not been around much, isn't it?"
Thing is, with Finn, Puck doesn't exactly do the 'talking' bullshit. They don't talk about feelings or whatever, they don't do the talk about relationships and what their goals are. They shoot the breeze, the talk football and games and music. Occasional they do the girlfriend talk when Finn needs advice, like Puck is any good at that kind of advice, or when Finn doesn't really know what's going on with the chicks around him. But that didn't mean that they didn't know certain things. Puck knows that Finn has some body issues. Puck knows that Finn's a little shy about the sex thing, because he's more into having feelings for a girl than just having sex with her. He does the relationship thing better than the meaningless sex thing. Puck knows that Finn's scared of not measuring up to Burt's expectations, but he's just as scared of his mother forgetting his dad.
But it meant that Finn was just as aware of Puck; Finn knew about Puck's issues with his dad, knew about Puck's 'pool cleaning' and how it wasn't just pool cleaning or bedding cougars, Finn knew that Puck wasn't always so laid back about being Finn's wingman, Finn knew that Puck kept one picture of Beth in his wallet, taken on his phone through the glass on the nursery at the hospital. Finn knew because he had the exact same one in his wallet.
"Yeah," there wasn't much point in lying, since Kurt had already told Finn, and since Blaine and Kurt were still together, Finn apparently hadn't told Rachel. "It kind of sucks, y'know. After a while it just, really fucking sucks."
"Never being good enough." They've fallen right into the 'deep' conversation stuff, and it's the first time since Beth and, jeez, he's gonna turn into a fucking pussy at this rate. "Like, I don't not wanna date, after a while just fucking around gets stupid and, yeah, okay with Lauren, it blew. But she was badass and probably the first girl who wasn't all about just getting some and getting gone. But shit, half the time she said stuff I hear from my mother and who the hell wants to date that?"
"So, are you like, bi?" Puck snorts slightly, almost amused at how Finn finds the smallest thing to focus on.
"I don't know, Kurt was- I've never really- Kurt's the only guy I've been into like that." Hell, Kurt and Mike were the only guys he'd ever actually done anything with and Mike was just a little drunken grinding on a dare. Sort of. Finn goes quiet for a while, just staring at the paused screen in front of them and Puck hopes this might be the end of a rather awkward conversation.
"Hey," Finn keeps his eyes on the floor, but he's nodding like he's agreeing with himself about something, "it'd be cool if you were dating Kurt, y'know. Like, I'd be good with it."
Puck's a little surprised at that, but it almost makes him smile. If Kurt had made a different choice, Finn would've been okay with it. That's sort of cool.
The first day of school is hell.
Like literally. Hell.
Sam had to move out of town, Mercedes is legit heartbroken right now, they aren't doing the long distance thing. Kurt and Rachel are trying to keep her chin up, but she's totally a mess. Tina and Mike's parents had some kind of disagreement at some point; likely about Tina's parents supporting her creative dreams and Mike's parents being more academically inclined, so there is tension in the Chang Squared camp. Finn's suddenly been hit with the realisation that at the end of this year, Rachel is heading to New York and he needs to find something for himself, some direction, and that's giving the guy this massive crisis or something.
On top of it all, the trio had some argument about Quinn re-joining the Cheerio's and now those three are in their first ever snit and it's like the start of the plagues of Egypt, it's that serious. Santana said something to Britt that meant she was sad the whole day, and that is like painful to see, so she's almost attached to Puck's side when they aren't in class (and she goes to two of his classes that she doesn't even take) just so that she doesn't have to deal with Quinn and Santana bitching at each other.
So their first glee meeting of the year is a total wash. Quinn's not talking to San, San's making snide comments about everyone, the Asian's are tense, Finn's moping about not knowing what to do about anything in his life, Mercedes is sniffling from time to time and Britt doesn't bother with her own chair, just curling up in his lap and the only thing Puck can figure is at least she's not turning to Artie for comfort, because then shit would go down.
Suddenly, his shit doesn't seem so troublesome.
"Okay, guys," Schue either doesn't pick up on the serious awkward in the room, or he just figures that if he ignores it, it'll go away. "Welcome back for another year, we're gonna make this a good one, I can tell. Um, Mercedes, there's some tissues on the piano if you need them, might want to get your allergies checked. Britt, um, can you sit in your own chair?"
"No." Britt's voice is small and quiet, it's fucking heart breaking.
"Brittany, c'mon, sit in your own seat, we've got-"
"I'm sitting here, it doesn't matter where I sit, so I'm sitting here. You're not the boss of people." Puck just rubs his hand on her back, shushing her slightly until she curls back into him and pouts.
"She's um, it's been a rough day." For Britt to snap, it's pretty obvious that things are getting bad. Schue just stares at her, and then at Puck, almost as if he's about to tell them to separate again, but Puck's pretty sure that Britt's two steps away from crying at this point so Schue smartly keeps his mouth shut.
"Hey guys." It's like everything stops for the blink of an eye, and there's just white noise all around. Puck cannot figure out why Blaine is standing in the door way to the choir room, not in his fancy little Dalton uniform but in casual clothes (still with a fucking bowtie though) and just smiling at them.
"Seriously?" Brittany sounds a little drugged when she says it, her head raising from Puck's shoulder as she sits upright. "Seriously?" Puck's never actually seen Britt like this, not even when they almost cancelled One Tree Hill and then did that flash forward thing that she hated, because it messed up the characters for her. "Why can't you let people be happy? What do you have against my shark?" There's a huff from her, and Puck can practically feel her thrumming with anger before she gets up and stomps out of the choir room.
Legit, Brittany just had a Rachel storm out.
Puck takes barely five seconds before he figures he'd rather deal with Britt than listen to Blaine's reason for being at McKinley in the afternoon, so he takes off after her, ignoring the call from Schue. He gets to the hall way just as he sees the streak of Britt's blond hair and uniform vanish into the girls toilets and then he's down to follow her inside. She's hunched over a sink, her shoulders shaking when he just grabs her elbow and she wraps her arms around his waist.
"It's not fair." He's not sure just what she's talking about, since so much has gone to shit around them lately, so it could be anything honestly. He knew coming back to school would be awkward for them, but he hadn't imagined it would be like this. He'd figured there would be awkwardness for the trio fitting themselves into the social network as a trio, maybe some tension on if they were open or not. He'd thought maybe Finn and Rachel would hit a tiny snag on the whole 'back in the public eye' thing, since Finn's still all about his rep. It was a given that Kurt would avoid him, but shit, this?
"C'mon, Britt. I'll take you home."
"Will you stay with me? 'Cause Lord Tubbington is getting dewormed and I need some cuddles."
"Of course I will." He doesn't even need to think about it, who'd leave Britt feeling like shit while her girlfriends were fighting over something dumb? Not even Sue would be cruel to Britt right then. He knows that San drove Britt in, so he fires a text to let her know he's taking Britt home and she and Quinn can just figure out how to sort themselves out.
It's a while later, and Britt's a bit more upbeat, while they lie in her room, singing songs out of key and making up words that they don't know. It's cool just hanging with Britt, sprawled over her bed with his arm under her neck in a half hug while their sides press together, knees bumping as she swings her legs against the edge of the bed.
"Some will win, some will lose," she's already started giggling when he breaks out the Journey, just because she knows exactly where he's going, "Some were born to sleep with Jews." Britt's legs pull up as she starts cackling, like full blown cackling at him, she's clapping her hands and twisting towards him. It's sort of warming, the fact that he can make her laugh like that, just from singing out of tune and the wrong words.
She stops laughing fairly abruptly when the front door slams, her laugh falling away to unsure gasps, and Puck's a little worried that he's going to need to deal with Britt's dad, because it's his truck that's sitting outside their house. The twin stomps of feet coming upstairs make them both relax marginally since it signals Santana and Quinn instead of Mr Pierce.
Santana's the one throwing the door open and marching over, Puck's a little weirded out by the grin on her face, but Quinn's there at the door and she's just smiling slightly as San climbs onto the bed and pulls Britt into a deep kiss. Britt moans, and since they're right next to Puck on the bed, it's not a quiet moan. San's hands just push into Britt's hair, completely messing up her ponytail while Britt's little hands rest on San's waist. Puck's still a little caught up in the whole hot as fuck make out right beside him as Quinn crawls onto the bed, kneeling by Puck's hip. He raises an eyebrow at her, wondering just where this came from since Quinn was livid this morning and Santana was a snappy bitch.
"I agreed to go back to Cheerio's." Quinn shrugs slightly, and okay, so they've settled that argument; without bloodshed, declarations of war, bitter feuds or pulling hair.
"And Kurt broke up with the Hobbit." Santana's a little breathless, her forehead leaning on Britt's and both of them sporting these dopey, blissfully happy smiles that sort of make Puck's stomach hurt and- Wait, what? "Blaine couldn't understand what Brittany meant, I may have muttered about you being her 'shark' and I think Kurt heard me."
"Kurt's my dolphin. Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?" Britt says it as if it should be common knowledge, and suddenly Britt's nickname for him makes a lot more sense. "You're still a shark because you don't only like boys, and its way more badass."
"So Kurt asks Blaine what he's doing at McKinley, right there in front of the club and the curly fry says he's looking at transferring, so that they can be together." Quinn's snort draws a smirk from Puck while Santana makes a face and makes her voice pitch higher. "It was kind of sickening. But Kurt hits out with how he'd never asked Blaine to switch schools, and Blaine was all about Dalton, and he didn't expect Blaine to leave all his friends just to come to school with Kurt."
"Then Blaine starts on about how they should spend as much time together as possible, and it would be better for New Directions to have another male lead and that's when Finn got defensive, so there's a whole lot of shouting going on, Finn's defending his place, Rachel's sticking up for Finn, Kurt's arguing that Blaine shouldn't just transfer on a whim and San and I are just watching the carnage unfold when suddenly-"
"Kurt just hits out with how he's got feelings for someone else." Puck's pretty certain he just about got whiplash from the way his head turned from Quinn to Santana there. "Yeah, you could hear a fucking pin drop the whole place went so quiet. Blaine was all 'we can work on it, sweetie, I care too much about you, honey, let's just see where this goes, baby' and Kurt was like 'bitch, step off'." Puck's pretty sure she's paraphrasing now, but it's sort of comical that San's just blazing through it.
"What happened San? Did Kurt tell Blaine it was Puck? It is Puck right? C'mon, it's gotta be." San smiled at Britt, hugging her close while stroking her arm.
"He didn't say Puck, babe." Britt's pout is big enough to be comical, "He said Noah," apparently, it's important that Kurt used his name. "Noah makes Kurt feel things that Blaine hasn't, and Noah's got a lot of great qualities that Kurt missed before, and Noah just feels like a better fit than Blaine does."
"Considering Blaine is Rachel Berry in boy form, yeah." Quinn still hasn't gotten over that. "Of course that started another fight, and I think as far as first break ups go, Kurt's was pretty dramatic, Mercedes made him go to her house so they could eat ice cream and lament their broken relationships before they got there fabulous diva butts back to normal tomorrow."
It's a lot to take in, especially in the space of twenty minutes. Kurt broke up with Blaine, for Puck. Hell, Kurt broke up with Blaine without even knowing if Puck was an option at this point. And he'd told the whole glee club. And Mr Schue. Fuck, Puck had absolutely no idea what to do with this.
Was this an outing? It couldn't really count as being outed though, could it? Jesus, it sort of was, wasn't it?
"Puck, y'okay? You look a little pale."
"'m fine. I just need to lie down."
"You are lying down."
"Oh good." So, it wasn't that big a deal. It wasn't. Puck had already told Quinn and Santana and Brittany, and Kurt had told Finn. So they were the only people he really cared about, reaction wise. Rachel would be her usual 'I accept you for who you are' self, Chang wouldn't care, Tina wouldn't either. The club in general wouldn't care, beyond Puck possibly getting the riot act from 'Cedes about treating her boy right. And well, if Kurt was sort of leaning towards considering dating Puck, that was what he'd been wanting, right? Well, yeah, it was. He wasn't worried about that.
"You want a cuddle?" Puck just nodded, letting Britt wrap her arm over his waist while San and Quinn ended up draping on him.
"Seriously, don't fucking sweat it. Between you and us? No one's gonna say shit about what team we're batting for. Bitches can just deal with the awesome that we are." It's not surprising that Santana knows exactly what to say.
Britt tries to convince him that he should just spend the night, but he's not that much of a pussy that he needs to stay with them just to not freak out over this. He has to go home, because it's the only way he'll actually let himself think about this stuff.
He's pretty sure he's making a big deal out of nothing, but the thing is, he never actually thought about if this happened. Like, if Kurt did pick him, or if it just got out that they'd fooled around together. He'd failed to actually consider how he'd feel about possibly having to label himself as something.
But this was sort of what he'd angled for, wasn't it? He'd been thinking about it. And he realises that it's not like him and Kurt have even talked about it, at all, but, well... Shit, he's thinking in circles again.
"Okay," he's startled by his ma, her just standing at the door to his bedroom, and he didn't realise he left his door open. "What's wrong?" The thing about having one parent is that everything is remembered; he can't do something without his mother knowing, his ma knows his moods 'cause she's the only one to see them, he needs to talk about things with her because Sarah's just too young and he's not laying his shit on her when she's just figuring out that Jessica Stein is a total bitch and Yvette Kendall was right. Besides, as far as Sarah's concerned, the fact that she wasted two months as Jessica's best friend is a fucking travesty (that's what she called it too, fucking kid is too smart).
"Huh?" He still likes to play dumb though, even if he knows why she's asking. He is doing his homework. After the first day of school.
"Baby, you haven't sat up here and done homework quietly with your door open since that horrible girl broke up with you." Lauren, his ma never liked her. It should be a sign or something, but then his ma's never liked any of the girls he's hooked up with. She's never really met many of them though. "What happened?"
"Nothing, Ma, its cool. Britt just had a rough day and it was kinda stressing." Since Britt, Quinn and San were around a lot during the summer, his ma sort of knows the deal. She doesn't know that they're dating each other, but she knows that they're all friends, pretty close friends, but Puck's not dating any of them. She's fine so long as he's not impregnating more cheerleaders.
"Okay, bubbala." The space is nice, being given the time to figure things out and go to her rather than be cornered. He knows that's what she's doing. She did it with the whole Beth thing, she did it when he had to explain the reason behind the ATM thing. Their situation means that she's more like a friend than his mother; he loves her to death, don't get him wrong, but the fact that she relies so heavily on him, that he's half helping raise Sarah, that it's just her and him and Sarah and no father figure, it makes things different. Not bad or anything, but different. He talks to her about stuff more than the average teenage boy would, and maybe that's not exactly the impression people would get, but he needs to, or else he would be jumping off buildings for more than just to figure out if it's a rush.
It takes him another hour, all his Chem work is done and he's read almost four extra chapters of Pride and Prejudice, and that was enough to 'cause an even bigger headache. Eventually though, he needs to drag himself out of his room and downstairs, finding her in the kitchen just messing around. The annoying pop music blaring upstairs indicates that Sarah's in her room.
"So," if he's going to do this, and he thinks he'd like to, yeah, he needs to be honest with her. "There's kind of this situation, where I got involved with someone," and she'll know what he means without him having to spell it out and get way awkward about talking sex with his mom. "But they sort of have a boyfriend." She puts down the laundry she's folding, sighing slightly as she turns to face him. He's just sitting at the kitchen table, picking at the nail bed on his thumb. "It's- I don't know what it is really, but it's something, y'know?"
"Were you careful? Noah, honey we can't have another year like-"
"No, Mom, that's- No, we're not in danger of that happening." For so many reasons. "You um, you remember when you came to Regionals with Sarah?" He hadn't told anyone, but Sarah had begged to see them in the competition, and since it was his ma's night off, they'd both been there for Regionals, since Puck had mentioned that they'd written their own songs. "The uh, the Warbler kids?" She just nods slowly, because he's pretty sure she's caught on to the fact that the Dalton Warblers are all boys. "Kurt was the uh, he was the 'cute, girly one' that Sarah talked about."
"Kurt," Puck just nods, watching her carefully. She's never given an indication towards homophobia, never seemed at all judgemental towards Rachel's dads. But it hadn't ever been him before, and it was different when it was your own, right?
"We um, the beginning of summer," he shrugged again, "we messed around a little, but he's sort of dating Blaine. Well he was."
"Blaine? Blaine is the boy with the-" her eyebrows wiggle and Puck bursts out laughing while he nods.
"Yeah, with the eyebrows." She's probably overheard Santana and Quinn talking. "Kurt broke up with him today. During school." So he might not be labelling himself, he'll do what he wants with who he wants, it doesn't matter. If he feels something why the hell would he not go for it? But if he's doing anything, he's doing it openly. He's not going to be a case of not being fucking man enough to step up and say, yeah, this is my shit, what of it? Which mean, well, basically it means labelling himself for his mother.
"And you and Kurt are..."
"Maybe," he's not sure yet, really not sure. Because Kurt might just be confused, or it might not work right or whatever. He shrugs though, dropping both his hands to the table and meeting his mother's gaze, "I wouldn't mind, y'know, and I kinda dig him a little more than I'm honestly willing to admit." She's not yelling, or freaking out, or telling him that it's just a phase, so he's pretty sure this is going well as far as awkward conversations go.
"So, you're telling me that, what? You like boys as well as girls?" He's kind of glad that his bluntness comes from her, because if she was all wordy and stuff like Rachel, it'd be a pain in the ass getting through this conversation.
"I guess so, I mean, it's only been Kurt, like so far or whatever, but it's not like I don't totally appreciate Brittany in a bikini, or Santana's ass in her uniform." It gets a laugh from his mother, because she's all about trying to get him to stop objectifying women and all that. "But I just, I mean, I'm kinda thinkin' I've got a shot with Kurt, y'know. And I wanna take it, but I didn't want go into this without you like, knowing the score and shit." Since the school would know and he might need to punch someone in the face and it was better if his mother wasn't blindsided with the why if that happened.
"I appreciate that, Noah," and she just comes around the table to cup his cheek and smile at him. "But that boy better treat you so much better than that horrible shiksa did." Puck doesn't bother mentioning the utter hell his mind has been this summer.
Britt is totally excitable the next day, it's a total one-eighty from yesterday, but there's reason for that and honestly, people are used to Britt's personality swings. The smallest of things can upset her, but the tiniest things make her so fucking happy it must hurt to smile that much. Thing is, he totally knows what she's all excited about. She thinks he's going to hook up with Kurt today.
Normally, he wouldn't really care about that whole 'just broke up' thing or whatever, but Puck's fully prepared to wait until Kurt's not fresh off his relationship with Blaine, really. He figures that if Kurt's gone as far as to state, in front of the whole club, that he as feelings for Puck, then it's okay to make sure Kurt's not jumping from one thing to the next.
It's the reason why Puck's not going to Kurt, Puck's not bringing it up, he's not going to give Kurt some come on, it's not going to be him. When Kurt's ready, Puck figures he can wait until then.
This is apparently met with a frown from Britt, disgust from Santana but understanding from Quinn. Quinn probably gets it, because Puck doesn't want to end up in the 'Rachel' role while Kurt plays out his own Finn and Quinn drama. Santana says he's like, fucking damaged, but he's not sure what the fuck she's talking about as she takes off with Britt to their own class and him and Quinn head to English.
It might be the whole 'not putting himself out there' thing, or just the fact that he's still not sure if Kurt is actually picking him. Britt's already highlighted that he doesn't let himself fall in love easily; there's a reason for it. He saw what it did to his mother, he can't help what's been ingrained in him since he was nine. Crazy thing is, everyone from glee keeps glancing at him.
Rachel tried to have a conversation with him in English, but Quinn was right there and apparently she's good at silencing Rach with a glare again. Mercedes watched him all the way through geography and in maths it's was awkward just because he attended class with completed homework and Tina, Mike and Artie didn't stop staring at the back of his head.
He skips lunch just because he cannot deal with all the staring. And he hasn't seen Kurt at all today, so it's just as well because he doesn't want to do it at lunch and have the entire club watching them like they're some kind of exhibit. Britt, bless her, asks him to take her to feed the ducks. So he does.
They don't have glee after school, but he has football and the girls have Cheerio's, although it does mean that Finn and Mike are trying to get him into a conversation, but Shane's pretty good to run drills against since he doesn't talk bullshit with him. He avoids talking about it for the whole day and he feels like he's actually accomplished something.
Which is super weird, but whatever.
He totally didn't count on Kurt showing up at his house. It's not that he doesn't want to talk about it, or even that he doesn't want to see Kurt, sure he does. It's just easier to give Kurt the time to figure things out without being around him, because it just reminds Puck that Kurt just dumped his boyfriend because there's something there. But there he is, the Navi parked on the street and Kurt sitting on the step to his house. He watches Kurt pull himself up, standing and brushing his pants off before giving Puck a tight smile.
"Hi." They haven't actually talked since Rachel's party, which isn't all that surprising really, "I um, I didn't see you at school so, I thought-" Puck just nods, walking towards the door keys hanging from his fingers.
"You wanna come in?" Kurt likely knows that Puck's heard about what happened in glee, it's not like Quinn or Santana can really keep quiet about things like this, even if it didn't kind of directly involve Puck. The girls like gossip just too damn much. Kurt just nods slightly so Puck steps around him to unlock the door and nod him inside.
"Where's your mom?"
"Working." His ma had a double to pull that day, she'd be home tomorrow afternoon and likely sleep the rest of the day, she fucking deserved it for the shifts she pulled without complaining.
"And your sister?" Puck glances at Kurt over his shoulder, wondering if Kurt's suddenly nervous about them being alone or something, like Puck's gonna do something or whatever.
"At Kelly's house, they go to girl scouts together and her mom watches Sarah when mom works through the night sometimes." It's not because Puck can't take care of Sarah or anything, it's just that Kelly's mom is recently divorced and it seems like she wants to busy herself with kids, Puck's not complaining cause a few nights on his own is kinda perfect actually. "What's up?"
"I um, I needed to talk to you." Kurt takes the shoulder bag off, leaving it by the side of the sofa and it almost looks like he's about to sit down before he changes his mind and starts pacing behind the sofa instead. "I said a few things, and I really didn't mean to, well, I did mean to, I just didn't mean to say them where I said them and to who I said them to." Puck's pretty sure Kurt's talking about yesterday during glee, after him and Britt left. It sounds like Kurt's about to apologise for something, but Puck doesn't know what. "It wasn't my place, and I get that I do, no one understands that more than me so I am so furious with myself for doing it. And I do understand if you're annoyed, but I just-"
"Wait, is this about what you said to Blaine?" Puck's figuring it out, slowly but surely. "About having feelings for me?"
"Sort of, I mean, obviously I understand that it was a rather backwards way to do things, but, oh, he just assumes these things all the time. I'd never ask him to move schools for me, and we've been- Well lately we've been off. And I know why and he just assumes that us spending more time together would fix that. And it really won't." Maybe Kurt's taken a turn towards Santana and Quinn's thinking and realised that he's dating Rachel Berry. "But after I said it I realised that, God, it so wasn't my place to tell everyone."
"That there was something between us! Are you even listening?"
"I'm trying, I am, but you're sort of confusing and a little over the place and I can't help it that it's hot when you're all frazzled or whatever." And really it's not. But Kurt's cheeks get this cute flushed way, his hands are sort of all over the place and there's this freaky little glint in his eyes that is just super hot. Not to mention the way his mouth just runs on and on. It's fucking distracting.
"I'm freaking out about outing you and you're focusing on how hot I am?" There's a smugness in the tone, Puck hears it and that's shit he recognises right there. But he doesn't like the fact that Kurt's worked up about this.
"Okay, for one, yeah, you're hot, like you don't know it. And two, I don't care. Quinn and San and Britt, they already know, the club probably guessed that there was a little something to read into considering I lack any real care about making out with you or riding Chang's fucking lap. You already told Finn what happened and he didn't freak out, so I don't really think there's much to care about." Really he didn't, he'd already found out who his 'friends' were, and while he played on a team with guys, they weren't his friends, just teammates. The club, well, they sort of ended up friends despite everyone trying not to be, didn't they.
"It'll get around, and- What about your mother?"
"Told her last night," he shrugs his shoulder, "she figured something was up, contrary to what most people believe, I'm kind of open with my ma." He had to be really, since people around this damn town couldn't keep their gossiping mouths shut. Kurt just nodded slightly.
"So, you would maybe... I mean we haven't talked since..."
"Since I sucked you off in Rachel's kitchen."
"Do you have to be so crass?" Kurt just sighs, but there's this little tug at his lips and Puck knows he doesn't hate it.
"Wouldn't be me if I wasn't."
"Fair enough," Kurt at least stopped pacing, just leaning against the back of the sofa and sighing. "But really, we haven't talked, and I know that I didn't exactly help. Finn sort of, well, Finn is very good at being blunt." Puck didn't doubt it, Finn's filter wasn't the most reliable of things. "I never thought you weren't good enough, I never thought I was better than you, or that Blaine was better, I didn't." Puck ducks his head, because things could get heavy really fast if they went down this route and he was terrible at managing deep conversations. "I just-" Kurt pushed away from the sofa, crossing to stand in front of Puck. "I was just too scared to take a chance on maybe when I have safe. Turns out, safe is kind of boring." Puck barks out a laugh, smirking slightly.
"Quinn said the same thing."
"I'm pretty sure we'd be anything but boring." Puck couldn't agree with that more. His hands find their way to Kurt's hips, pulling him closer to Puck as he sits on the arm of the chair beside the sofa. "We'd probably be everything but boring." Kurt's hand rested on Puck's shoulders, his body curving towards Puck like it was just magnetically drawn in and Puck didn't bother hiding the smirk.
"We'd be pretty awesome." He's fairly certain they could be too, given the right chance. He's a fucking badass and Kurt's a kickass little bitch. "You'd really need to cut me some slack now and then, 'cause I'm a total fuck up, but-"
"No you're not." Kurt leaned all the way in, his arms wrapping around Puck's neck while the jock tilted back slightly to even them out a little, letting their chests press against each other as Kurt tipped his head down, "I'm sure your girls will keep you right."
Puck's little chuckle is lost in Puck's mouth, his tongue pressing against Puck's lips to part them before they both moaned, leaning into the kiss. Puck stroked his hands around Kurt's back, almost hugging him tightly to Puck's body as they just made out in his sitting room. He kinda likes how there's no rush to it, there's nothing pushing him to make a point, he's fine with Kurt rocking in against him, whining against his lips as Puck lets a hand trail down over Kurt's butt.
He doesn't even mind later, when they're just lying out over the sofa, Puck half leaning over Kurt and their legs tangled and Kurt's hair is a fucking mess, when Kurt angles for a serious fucking conversation.
"So, I sort of came here to apologise for outing you and to um, well, ask you to like," Puck's sort of amused that this is getting a blush from Kurt. They've been pressing against each other for the better part of an hour, and that shit's getting them both hard, but trying to ask him out is apparently blush worthy.
"Kurt, can I be your boyfriend?" The smile that causes is fucking adorable that Puck just has to kiss it.
"Yes please." Puck knew that it didn't fix everything, the second guessing and the issues that might crop up over shit, like the fact that they'd been involved while he dated someone else, but it could be dealt with later. For once, Puck didn't actually mind that someone wanted a relationship from him, hell, he wanted it too.
It seemed like an okay starting point.