He didn't notice the signs at first. Alice kept getting sick the past couple of days or pretending to get sick. He thought she was trying to avoid having to bed him. At least until she threw up on his shoes, then he just sent her to her old room. He certainly didn't want to catch anything from a silly psychotic bitch, much less a sick one. Useless woman…

A few days passed, Alice walked into his office looking pale. He reprimands her for coming in while she's still sick, not noticing the tears falling down on her face. She yells at him for being a monster, for ruining her life, and for getting her pregnant…

At first he thought she was joking (a rather horrid joke at that) but she explained that she missed her cycle and her symptoms matched to that of an expecting mother. She cried that she didn't want this, that she hates him before she runs out of the room. He just stood there in shock, barely comprehending at what just happened.

He was going to become a father.

He never thought about having children. Children were just nuisances, something that he couldn't be bothered with. They were only valuable as commodities or cheap labor. There really isn't any point of having them besides securing your own legacy. When he thought about it, the idea didn't sound quite so horrid. He knows he couldn't do this forever, and he has no other living family. It would be rather nice to have something of a normal family life, raising a child who he could be proud of. He's seen how the upperclassmen would often brag about their children, at least the ones who would grow up to become productive members of society.

Shame about the mother, though he suppose he couldn't complain. His child would inherit his smarts and Alice's beauty and none of her madness. But more pressing matters need to be attended. Would Alice give him a son? A son he could raise and talk about the various subjects women were not entitled to hear or would she give him a daughter to spite him? Though he could have daughter to become a fine educated lady, he surmised it would be rather silly and in poor taste to sell off his own daughter to the other low-life's. Not to mention insulting, his daughter would become a wife to an aristocrat or someone of renown.

Provided his child wasn't a bastard of course.


The bitch had to trap him into marriage. She finally managed to turn the tables on him. Everyone would know who the father would be regardless of whatever he says. The scandal of a bastard child would ruin him, especially with a patient. But he knows how society loves a good story. A mad girl being cured by her doctor, they fell in love, got married and expecting a child soon. It sounds like a rather trashy romance novel he overhears women gossiping. But as long as it benefits him, he could hardly care less.

Now he has a pregnant bitch to court.

At first it was hard trying not to hurt Alice. She kept getting on his nerves, constantly trying to deny him for "fear of hurting the baby." Then there was dealing with her mood swings. It lasted for about a month before Alice gave him the news. She had her cycle, she wasn't pregnant. It was a false alarm. They aren't having a child at all.


In reality, it was all for the best. He's not trapped into a marriage with a psychotic bitch. He really didn't want a child in the first place. Alice wouldn't be a good mother anyway.

But he couldn't help feel a bit disappointed.

A/N: Something that popped up in my head. I really don't think canon Bumby actually wanted kids or become a bitch about it. He brainwashes kids and sells them off to perverts and laughs about it. But he's a narcissist too, and how narcissistic is having a kid to be almost being exactly like you? He'll probably be one of those parents that say, "My kid is the best because I am." As always, leave a review and maybe read and review my other AMR fics too.