Hey, guys. Long time, no see. Anyway, you know the spiel: I don't own any of these characters, Steve Franks does. Cool? Cool.
"Dude, look." Shawn plopped his backpack into the beige leather chair in their office and opened it, pulling out his XBOX. "I got my XBOX back from my dad."
"Shawn, he's gonna kill you when he realizes that you took it. And then he's gonna kill me," Gus said, looking up from his laptop.
"Stop being so overdramatic-"
"The word is 'melodramatic'."
"Whatever. Stop being so… that and come play Grand Theft Auto with me." He took out two controllers and waved one in Gus's direction. "I'll let you be player one~," he sing-songed.
Gus sighed and shut his laptop. "It doesn't matter who's player one in this game," he said, but got up and snatched the controller from Shawn's hand anyway.
"It totally does! You get the top screen!"
Gus shot him a look, complete with pursed lips, but sat down and didn't say anything. He watched as Shawn hooked the console up to the TV and inserted the disk.
"Stupid loading screens," Shawn complained, mashing A, B, Start, and any other buttons his thumbs could reach. "Always take too damn long."
"Be patient, Shawn."
"Gus, when have I ever been patient for anything?"
Gus opened his mouth and then promptly shut it. "You're right."
Shawn smirked at his best friend turned partner, then turned back to the TV. "They really need to make these shorter. Or program them to run faster." He was still complaining even though the menu screen had already popped up.
"Just hurry up, Shawn."
"I can't. You're player one, remember?"
"Yeah, I knew that. I, uh, I was just testing you."
"How'd I do?"
"You passed, now shut up."
Once their characters appeared on screen, Shawn paused it. "What d'ya say we raise the stakes?"
"I didn't realize we were playing for anything."
"We are now." Shawn made a show of thinking about the bet and then said, "Loser gives the winner a blow-job."
"What? Shawn, are you insane? Do you have any idea how unsanitary that is? Not to mention gross?"
"Oh, come on! I showered today! And I read that eating certain fruits will make your junk taste like-"
"Wait, are you insinuating that I'm going to lose?"
Shawn placed his fingers against his temple in his tell-tale "having a vision" pose. "I'm getting a very strong reading that that is most certainly the case."
"Oh, it's on like Donkey Kong!" Gus leaned forward in his chair and placed his elbows on his knees, Shawn copying the movements.
"Explain to me how I cheated. Please."
"I- I don't know, but you did."
"C'mon, Gus. Would I do that to y-"
"Yes. Just to humiliate me."
"Well, whether or not I cheated is not the point."
"It is so the point."
"Gus. The point is that you have to uphold your end of the bet."
Gus turned the big puppy eyes on Shawn, begging him to forget about the bet. "But I hate-"
"Shut up, you know you love it. Plus, you totally have the lips for them."
"You are not making this situation any better for me, Shawn."
"Oh, relax. As if I would make my best friend give me a blow-job."
A sign of relief spread over Gus's features. "Thank yo-"
"I'm sure some making out and heavy petting would easily suffice."
Gus stared. "You need help. Professional help." He spun around on his heels and stalked from the building, ignoring Shawn's shouts of "Gus! C'mon, bud!"