*This is starting in the Never Been Kissed area. When Kurt met Blaine. I'm making some things up, like Kurt's hate for Katy Perry :)
Kurt Hummel sat in his room, doing his homework. Exciting, I know. But, for some reason, he couldn't focus. He had been sitting here for nearly an hour and he had gotten one question done on his Biology homework. He still has homework to do in 3 other subjects, so he knew he was screwed.
He had met a guy today. A gay guy. Which, made him even happier. His name was Blaine Anderson. He was perfect, even though Kurt barely knew anything about him except that he was handsome, he had been bullied at his old school, he was in the Warblers, he was gay, and he had a killer voice.
Okay, maybe he knew more than he thought.
But he felt like he had known him his entire life. And, he wishes he actually had. Kurt felt as though he could end up falling for this guy. And that scared him. Kurt had never had a boyfriend before. What if everything went wrong? What if Kurt got hurt?
No! He needs to stop thinking about this! He barely knows Blaine and he'll probably never talk to him again, even though he got Blaine's number.
He dropped his pen onto the worksheet that was given out in class, and leaned back in his chair. He needed to confide in someone or even something. He needs to talk to someone.
He started going down the list of people to talk to.
Mercedes? She wouldn't understand. She'd just start gushing over the fact that he found another gay guy.
His father? No, he'd make a big deal out of it. And he really doesn't feel comfortable talking about guys with his dad just yet.
Finn? No, he would tell Kurt's dad.
Rachel? No, she would tell Finn who would then tell Burt.
Carole? She would tell his dad too! Damn it! But she was the closest thing he had to a mother…
…Wait a second. A mother! That's what he needed to do!
Kurt leaped out of his chair and walked over to his bed. He kneeled beside it and reached under his bed for a large box. He sighed when he pulled it out. Thousands of pieces of notebook paper were strewn around the box, and it wasn't even halfway full.
This was a box filled of letters he'd written to his mom. He knew that she had passed away, but sometimes he just wanted to talk to her again, and he felt closer to her whenever he wrote her a message. He had been writing letters since the day that she died. He didn't write every day, but whenever something big happened to him, he wrote to her.
He reached a hand in and dug around for a little while. He picked up a random one and smiled when he saw the date up in the corner. Or rather year, he liked to be a little mysterious when he wrote these. So if he ever looked back on them, he'd know the year, but he would have to guess the date. And whenever he wrote a new letter, he went through the old ones.
His bright blue eyes that he had inherited from his mother scanned the letter he had been holding. It was from 2009.
I still miss you. I should stop saying that because it's not like there's a day that I don't miss you. But I just want to remind you. I think about you every day. I always wonder what you would think about me. About who I've become. About what choices I've made. About the choices I haven't made. Everything.
I know we aren't a religious family, but I know that you are up in heaven, looking down on me. Guiding me through life. But some days I wish you were here. Like when I'm down and I don't want to worry Dad, or when I'm happy and I can't explain it to Dad. I just want my mom back.
Anyway, I joined Glee Club today. It's okay…it would be more fun but there aren't many of us. There's Artie, a kid in a wheelchair, who's nice. Mercedes, a black girl who has the craziest fashion choices. Tina, the gothic Asian. And Rachel, I despise her. She's a diva who thinks she should get all the solos. Well, I don't think she knows that nobody pushes the Hummels around. I'm confident in getting more than just one solo this year. I want to be the star. And I intend to be.
I miss you Mom, and I'll keep you posted. I have to go help Dad with dinner, you know how he's not the best at cooking.
I love you so much.
Kurt didn't realize that he was crying until he saw one of his tears hit the paper. He put the paper to the side and reached in to grab another.
I hope you aren't mad at me. I really just want Dad to be happy so I introduced him to Finn's mom. Please don't be angry. And just know that Dad will never love anybody as much as he loved you. Carole makes him happy, and he still mopes because you're gone. He needs a little happiness in his life. Don't be angry. I was just trying to help.
Carole's really nice too. I wouldn't allow Dad to get this far into a relationship if she was a horrible woman.
Please don't be angry. I love you.
Kurt sniffled and wondered how his mother felt now, knowing that her son set up her husband with his new wife. He felt awful. But he knew his dad was happy.
He placed the letter off to the side and grabbed another. His eyes filled up with even more tears when he realized what this one was about.
I'm guessing you know what this letter is about. If you really are watching us from up above.
Dad had a heart attack. He's better now, but I was so afraid that I would lose another parent. I didn't know if I would've been able to handle it. I'm just glad he's okay.
I really should go check on him. But, I just wanted to write to you, just in case you're busy up in heaven.
I love you so much, Mom
Kurt smiled through his tears. Thank God his Dad was better. He wouldn't have known what to do if something did actually happen to his father. He didn't know where he would be at.
He walked over to his desk and ripped out a page of notebook. He sat at his desk again and picked up his pen, pushing his homework to the side, knowing that this was more important.
I really miss you. Today especially. I know I haven't written in a while, but I needed someone to confide in. So here we go.
I met a guy today. An actual gay guy. I haven't exactly met another gay guy before, so I was super happy. Let me tell you how it happened.
We were rehearsing our Boys vs. Girls number and Puck told me that I should make myself useful and spy on our competition for Sectionals: the Warblers. So I did. I was kind of having a hard day, everything with Karofsky seemed worse. So I decided that it wouldn't hurt.
So, I went there, and I saw every one rushing in one direction, so I followed. I was walking down the stairs when I stopped this guy on the stairs. I asked him what was going on. And he said the Warblers were giving an impromptu performance. He said his name was Blaine. Then, he took my hand and took me through a shortcut to where this performance was being held. Then I realized that he was a part of the Warblers.
We got into this large room and the Warblers started singing back up. He placed his bag on a nearby couch and said "Now if you excuse me…" Yes I still remember what he said. And then he started singing. A Katy Perry song. And you know how I despise Katy Perry. I'm more of a Gaga or Beyoncè fan. But when he sang 'Teenage Dream' it looked…sexy.
Then him, and some other Warblers figured out I was spying, but yet they bought me coffee! If someone spied on the New Directions. Finn and Puck would kick their ass! They said their school, Dalton, had a zero-tolerance rule. Then I remembered the whole Karofsky thing and I got upset and Blaine told his friends to leave. He asked me what was going on, and I started crying. He told me that I should confront Karofsky and stand up for myself. So tomorrow, that's exactly what I'm going to do.
I should go work on my homework now that my head is clear. I love you Mom, thanks for being one person I can be completely honest with.
Kurt sighed and placed his pen down on his desk again. He got up and placed the letter in the box, then replaced the three that he had reread. He frowned as he shoved the box back underneath the bed. Maybe one day, he'll look back and laugh at himself. Not today.