You don't know a thing about real loss
The grave scene and beyond (Sophie's point of view)
I started writing this before I saw Contrition by bkwrm19 but realised Contrition is Charlie's POV and mine is Sophie's POV so I thought I would post it anyway. Contrition is brilliant by the way and I'm afraid I don't write as well as bkwrm19 I have so much to learn but please review and give me some writing pointers
"You don't know a thing about real loss"
It was like a stab in the chest to Sophie, Charlie's word cut through her and she had to walk away, she could feel the tears stinging her eyes. She didn't want him to see how much pain his cutting remark had caused her. Her mother had left her when she was 9 and hadn't loved her enough to stay and didn't care about Sophie's life. She would feel that loss always. Charlie didn't understand her at all. He was so bitter about his own pain he couldn't see the pain he caused others, the torture his words caused her. It was terrible that he had lost his parents at such a young age but at least he knew that they loved him. Did he think he was the only one who had suffered in life?
She had been starting to get to know him, her attitude of him had been changing, and his initial rude behaviour had in part been explained, he had just wanted to protect his Nan which was a very admirable thing to do. Once Sophie realised Charlie was being protective of Claire and not just being an arrogant jerk with a poker stuck up his bum she realised underneath that haughty mask was a lovely man. He actually had a lot of depth, really cared about people and wanted to do good in the world. She was really starting to like him, maybe starting to like him too much. Maybe this was good that he had upset her, what was she doing? She started off on a journey to help a wonderful lady find her long lost love and this journey had made her question her own love and maybe think that she needed more that she had, that maybe Victor wasn't the man for her after all? She was so confused. Maybe it was better that this journey stopped now, that she got back to Victor, back to New York and back on with her life. Victor was a good man she should be happy with what she had.
And well maybe Charlie's had good reason to shout at her. This story may not turn out happily but she really believed it was worth a shot to try and find Claire's Lorenzo. But maybe they couldn't go on looking forever, but this really wasn't the place to stop at the graveside of a Lorenzo that could have been her Lorenzo, would they ever know?
Sophie turned around and saw Claire talking to Charlie; she seemed to be comforting him. Sophie could see that he still suffered a lot and the look of torment on his face at that moment made her soften a bit. Maybe in his grief he snapped at her and maybe he didn't mean to.
Charlie and Claire starting walking towards her and she turned and started heading for the car. Charlie and Sophie made eye contact for a minute and then Sophie looked away. She was still upset and a bit angry with him and needed a bit of time. Claire touched Sophie gently on the shoulder in comfort and they all got back in the car and headed back to the hotel.
Sophie ran straight up to her room when they got back, she needed to get away for a bit. She poured herself a bath and laid down in it until only her face was peeking out of the water and thought about her mother. She usually tried to push thoughts of her mother to the back of her head but since she had talked to Claire about her in that beautiful place they stopped at she would not leave her thoughts. Even though her father had tried to convince her over the years that she was better off without her and that it wasn't Sophie's fault she had left. It was still difficult for Sophie to come to terms with her mum not caring about her. Sophie knew if she ever had children she would make sure they knew how much they were loved. She was lucky really, her dad was a wonderful parent and they were so close. He was very proud of her work and always encouraged her with her writing even though she was too scared to show it to him. She couldn't believe she had shown Charlie her writing in a moment of crazy bravery, opening herself up to criticism and ridicule. Praise and admiration was not what she had been expecting she knew Charlie's nature enough by now to know if he didn't like it he would have told her in no uncertain terms that it was rubbish. She had been so surprised by his reaction.
She decided to get out of the bath before she came all wrinkly and was combing her long blonde hair when there was a knock at the door. She really didn't feel like seeing anyone but when Claire called her name she realised she had to answer it. She had to apologise to Claire for running off and for their search for Lorenzo ending up as sadly as it did. Of course Claire was lovely to her and ended up comforting Sophie, as she had seen how much Charlie's words had wounded her. Claire managed to persuade Sophie to come down for a drink after she had got dressed as she said that Charlie really wanted to talk to her.
Charlie and Claire were sitting at a table in the sunshine waiting for her. Claire had three champagne glasses in front of her. Charlie apologised and Sophie could see that he was truly sorry. Sophie wasn't angry with him anymore, she had, had plenty of time to reflect on his outburst and she managed to muster a brief smile to let him know it was okay. They sat and chatted a while longer until it was starting to get a bit late for Claire. All three had finally decided that they would give up on the search for Lorenzo but it had been worth the effort and they had, had quite an adventure and met lots of interesting people. It was a journey they would never forget. Sophie didn't want to leave them and she felt this strange aching in her chest when she thought about saying goodbye but she knew she should get back to Victor. Shouldn't she be desperate to get back to Victor?, her true love the man she was going to marry, the man she came on holiday with that she didn't seem to be missing? That didn't really seem interested in what she was doing?
Claire said goodnight and left Charlie and Sophie alone to talk. Charlie said he was going to take a walk in the gardens and Sophie said she would come and join him in a minute. When Sophie went looking for Charlie she found him lying on the grass looking up at the stars and she asked if she could join him. He apologised to her again. She found herself quoting Hamlet and was surprised that Charlie finished the poem she had started…..
"Doubt thou, the stars are fire,
Doubt, that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love."
There certainly was much more to Charlie than she had ever seen in the beginning. She found herself staring deep into his eyes and she knew she was falling for him, but he would never feel the same about her, she was an annoying America woman who said awesome too much for his liking! As they continued to stare at each other she could feel their faces drawing closer as if they were magnetic, the opposites attracting, and the next thing knew their lips were touching and then they were passionately kissing. She knew she should draw herself away but she couldn't even though it was wrong. Finally she managed to separate herself from him and reluctantly draw away. She gave him one last guilty look and then forced herself to leave his company. Why did she kiss him? What about Victor? She was racked with guilt, she was engaged to a lovely man but it obviously wasn't enough for her any more. She was torn in two, she felt so guilty about the kiss and the feelings it evoked but her heart was pounding just at the thought of Charlie's touch and the excitement that he really must like her. She thought she was messed up before. At least when she thought Charlie would never like her in that way she could put it down to a harmless crush, maybe pre-wedding nerves but this changed things. How was she going to face him in the morning?, what must he think of her to do such a thing when she was engaged to someone else? It didn't put her in a very trust worthy light. But he did kiss her and he knew that she was engaged, did that make him just as bad? She struggled to get any sleep that night so many conflicting thoughts going through her head, maybe it was just because it was the last night and they had consumed some wine. It had already been an emotional day for them both maybe they just got carried away; maybe there was nothing in it…
I was just going to write a one shot but if people like this I might carry it on. What do you think? Please review. I love this film so much I could watch it over and over again!