A/N: Here it is, my first story, a femme slash no less.
A few people to thank. My beautiful beta Nocturnal Emissions.
My lovely pre-readers Lostred Rose and Mztress angel
Stephenie Meyer owns these characters, I just helped them find their true loves.
Warning: This fic has all the stuff that you are here looking for, but, if you are under 18 or don't appreciate explicit sexual situations between two beautiful women, click the x please.
Light At the End of a Broken Road
I hadn't really ever made a conscious decision to be single. It just kind of happened and it didn't turn out exactly like I had planned. I liked my life, sure. I was able to do what ever I liked, when ever I liked. I could go grocery shopping at midnight if I chose to, or wear my pj's all day or eat whatever I liked for dinner. I didn't have to answer to anyone and I liked it that way. This is what I told myself every single morning as I looked into the bathroom mirror at the reflection of a woman who was choosing to barely exist in this life.
As I looked beyond the exterior of my somewhat pretty face, I could see glimpses of the emotions that should have been there in someone my age, but they were missing. Some say the eyes are the key to your soul. When I looked at mine, all I saw was emptiness. Yes, they are big and brown and were once pretty, now, they hide the sadness and fear that exists in my life. I don't have any smile lines, because I can't actually remember when I last smiled, like really smiled. You know the type that makes your face hurt.
I shook off the thoughts that were swimming around in my head and put on my game face, my theatre face, just like I was performing in a show, except the world outside my apartment was the stage. I finished doing my hair and makeup, and got dressed as if I am someone else. I chose a black knee length pencil skirt and a deep blue shirt which I tucked in. To complete the look I chose some very high and very expensive black pointed stilettos.
As I took one last look in the mirror, I plastered on that magical fake smile I have perfected and head out the door. As I pressed the down button on the elevator, I hear another apartment door slam. I didn't turn to look. I already knew who it was. Right, head in the game, let's do this.
"Hey Bella, how are you sweetie?" Alice was a petite little thing. She had a short pixie style haircut, that only she could wear and still look fabulous. She had her own amazing style, throwing together pieces of clothing that anyone else would think just wouldn't work. On Alice, everything looked good. And to me, she was as close to a friend as I could get.
I stared off into space again, and realized that I left an unusual amount of time answering Alice. She waited patiently like she always did, never pointing out the fact that it was strange that I would just stand there, a blank look on my face.
"Oh, sorry Alice," I mumbled. "I, um, just have a lot on my mind. I'm fine thanks, how are you?" Was I convincing? By the sorrowful look on Alice's face, that was a big No.
Thankfully I was saved by the elevator arriving at our level.
"I'm fine thanks, going to have a few people over tonight for some drinks and pizza, wanna come? It'll be great, you can relax and meet a few more people" I could see the look in her eyes, she desperately wanted me to say yes. What could I do. I had a weak moment, she was messing with me.
"Um, ah, ok, sure. Why not? What should I bring?" I stumbled through my words, not really sure of her reaction. I never really knew if Alice invited me to her get togethers because she felt sorry for me or if she really liked me.
"OH MY GOD BELLA! THIS IS SO EXCITING!" Alice was squealing at the top of her lungs, and in a confined space of an elevator, it was even more frightening.
She started raving about how great tonight was going to be and that I had to be at her place by 7 and not to bring a thing. At least I think that's what she said. I couldn't make out the words from her excited little voice as she skipped off to her car from our building.
I stood there, stunned at the little pixie. I realized that something was different about myself in that exact moment. Something that hadn't happened to me in a long time. As I concentrated a little, I came into realize that I was smiling. Not my theatre smile, but a real smile. It felt good, and scared the shit out of me. I shook it off and began the ten minute walk to work.
I smiled today.
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