AAAAAH I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T WRITTEN LATELY! D: I have had school work and my computer's out of commission and I have had writer's block and now I have eyeritis and I can't see very well. Ugh. But I'm not here to make excuses. I am here to beg your forgiveness with a peace offering. I don't own FMA or Twilight. If I owned twilight it would have been written better.

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Ed was not very happy when he heard about the sparkly creature who had stolen his eyes, his name, and his fame. In fact, he was extremely ticked off, to say the least. So, he decided that he needed some sparing practice beyond the usual. (Getting defeated by his brother, slaughtered by homonculi, and killed by his teacher.) He had a plan. He had already looked up where the creature lived- Spoons, Wash-a-lot or Plates, Rinsington or something. He had finally caved and gotten diamond-tipped auto mail, much to Winry's happiness. He even got a new trench coat.

He took a magical train to the rainiest place he had ever seen and trudged through damp moss and bucketloads of water. Finally, he arrived at the house of the evil. He knocked on the door, which was rather uncharacteristic of him. However, if this Cullen guy had allies, Ed didn't want to get in too deep. All he wanted was to fight Edward Cullen.

A man with a constipated expression on his face opened the door, and Ed tried to hold back a laugh.

"I'm looking for-"

"Edward?" the man assumed. "Alice said you were coming. He's out moping in the meadow."

Ed nodded, a bit bewildered, and bolted away to the closest meadow, which he magically found not too far away. In the centre of it stood a depressed man with gold eyes and pale skin. He was exceedingly sparkly.

"HEY! MR. SPARKLEY PANTS! COME OUT AND FIGHT!" Ed yelled.

"I wouldn't suggest that," Edward moaned in a depressed fashion. "I'm not what you think I am."

"So you're not a sparkly anthropomorphic man-like leech with super strength and super speed who could quite possibly be Armstrong's close relative?" Ed grunted.

Edward stared at him, mild surprise on his face. "How did you-"

"You wouldn't believe what resources a state alchemist has." Ed responded, smirking. He clapped his hands and turned his automation arm into a blade. "Now, fight me! You stole my name, my fame, AMD my eyes! You're going to pay for turning all those helpless anime fans into twihards!"

All through this, Edward was totally confused. Ed was a little confused as well.

"But I can't fight you," Edward stated.

"Well why not?" Ed demanded. "I don't I know how to defeat you but I can sure try!"

"You're too short. I would-"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL YOU CAN'T TELL HIM APART FROM THE GRANS OF SAND? I'LL RIP YOU APART AND BURN THE PIECES!"

Edward frowned. "Crap."

THE END!

Reviews make me happy. OH! MY TEEN TITANS FIC WILL BE RELEASED SOON! SORRY FOR THE WAIT, ESPECIALLY TO neonazo365 SINCE HE LET ME USE HIS OC.