What up, peoplezez
For those of you who haven't noticed, I'm taking various villains out of stuff I like and pitting them against Orange for hilarious results. The last villain I use was Malefor from the Legend of Spyro series. Now I'm having him take on Lord Shen from Kung-Fu Panda 2. Let's see how well he fares against the fruit kingdom's King of Corny
Lord Shen was thoroughly amused by how well his plan was going. Not only had he gotten rid of every possible threat to his destiny, but he had now taken over his old home, Gongmen City, with minimal resistance, save for a few Kung-Fu masters who had decided to get in his way. With his weapon by his side and the entire city under his control, he was now able to set his plan in motion.
At the top of the ten story climb up the tower, Shen and the two gorilla enforcers that were carrying the weapon reached the throne room. The gorillas seemed to be a little winded from the long climb up, but Shen didn't seem to care.
"Ah, my father's throne," he said. "He used to let me play here beside him, promising one day that this would be mine".
With a flick of the wrist, Shen motioned for the gorillas to throw the throne out the window, which they did. He then had them position the cannon on the pedestal so that it overlooked the whole room.
"A little to the left," Shen told the gorillas.
"Uh, but it's so heavy master," one of the gorillas whined.
"Thirty fears I've waited for this moment," Shen said. "Everything must be as I envisioned it. And I envisioned it... a little to the left".
With a groan, the gorillas moved the cannon a few inches to the left. Satisfied, Shen moved into a position that made it look like he and the cannon were overlooking a crowd.
"Perfect," he muttered. "With the weapon by my si- a little more".
Groaning yet again, the gorillas moved it a little more to the left. Shen didn't even bother to turn around and check this time.
"With the weapon by my side, soon all of China will bow before me," Shen said. "We move out in three days when the moon is full and the tide is-"
"Hey! Hey turkey! Hey turkey, hey!"
Whatever had said that took all the momentum out of Shen. Looking over at where the Soothsayer would normally be, he saw what appeared to be an orange with a face on it staring at him. As much as this caught him off guard, he decided to play it safe until he could figure out if whatever was going on was a threat to him.
"Turkey?" he asked. "Uh… no, I think you have me confused with someone else".
"Nuh-uh," Orange said. "You look like a turkey. You act like a turkey. Therefore, you're a turkey. Hahahahahahahaha!"
"No. I'm not a turkey, whatever that's supposed to be," Shen said. "I'm a peacock".
"Whoa, you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Orange gawked.
"What?" Shen sputtered. "No… that's what I am!"
"Wait, that's not a dirty word?" Orange asked.
"No!" Shen snapped.
"Oh," Orange said.
"Good," Shen sighed. "Now that we've got that cleared up-".
"That just sounds fa-silly. Hahahahahahahaha!"
Shen face palmed himself after that last statement. This day was turning out to be the exact opposite of what he had intended it to be. If he wanted his plans to go on, he would have to keep the orange from getting in the way.
"Look, I don't know who you are or how you got here, but stop talking," Shen said.
"Okay," Orange said. "Then I'll do this".
Before Shen could even stop him, Orange started babbling away. Shen let out a growl of frustration as he stopped.
"Shut up," Shen snapped. "You're throwing me off from my ultimate triumph".
"Geez, you don't have to be a gobbler about it," Orange said
"Shut up!" Shen screamed. ""Nothing you say makes sense!"
"Hmm, I take it back," Orange said. "You're not a turkey. You're an apple".
Shen let out an extremely load groan as he pressed his forehead against the side of the cannon. He was upset that the day that was supposed to start his ultimate triumph was ruined by an annoying piece of fruit. Every ounce of sanity he had left was being thrown out the window.
"This day can't get any worse," he muttered.
"I can think of a way it can," Orange said.
"How?" Shen snapped.
"Broken pedestal," Orange said.
In all the time he had spent dealing with the orange, Shen hadn't noticed that the cannon had cracked the pedestal he was standing on. Before he could do anything about it, it completely gave way. As he tried to right himself out in the air, part of the cannon caught his robe, trapping him under it when hit the ground and completely crushing him.
"Whoa!" Orange gawked. "Now that was one dragon that didn't know how to hide very well. Hahahahahahaha! Oh, ow! I'm bored. Oh well, better find somewhere else to have fun. Teleport".
Once again, a bright light surrounded Orange, causing him to vanish into thin air.
And once again, Annoying Orange strikes hard. And I doubt even the Soothsayer saw that one coming.
NITRO PSYCHO OUT!