Chapter one: Insemination
She was standing in the rain, her face showing how lost she was. Unknown what to do, how to act, what will come up next. Or maybe she didn't even care what would come. I couldn't tell it since her face was pointing at the view and not at me. It was difficult to tell if she was crying because of the rain and I was never good at comforting people. The only thing that came out of my mouth were words that reminded me of my uncle, so I got that gnawing feeling again in my stomach. Ow how I missed those lines of unintelligible wisdom.
"You're going to get a cold."
She didn't even react, didn't even look at me. I got annoyed, she was so spoiled, so childish, grow up! Yet again, how could I think about her that way. She had a good reason for acting so lost. I still couldn't get why she didn't just kill the man. He deserved it more than anyone. If my mother would've been dead by a peasant like him I would finish him in the most painful way I possibly could. But that was out of line for Katara. It wasn't her way of working.
I got worried. How long had she already been standing over there, in the rain? I lost count. I stood up and walked over at her place. She was not looking back but by the tense of her muscles it was obvious she knew I was approaching. I found myself behind her back, unknown what to do now. That's when I did the most stupid thing of my life. That one move that changed it forever.
I touched her. I put my hand on her shoulder and slid down to her arm. By that time my hand was already soaked by the rain so I didn't care how wet her arm was. She didn't move, but she did escape a little gasp. Her body tensed more when I reached to her neck, her hair, completely flat thanks to the rain. She turned around and her blue eyes were watching me, confused, hurt. Since her eyes were severely red, there was no other explanation than that she had been crying the whole time.
"I was weak."
I gave her one of my serious - as always – confused looks. She answered.
"That's why I didn't kill that man. I was too weak."
I moved her hair over to one shoulder and admired her beautiful skin, wondering why I didn't notice before. Just like her eyes, so lost and vulnerable, and so… enchanting. Focus Zuko, what the hell are you thinking.
"I think you were too strong."
By letting her confused eyes fall on mine, she hoped for an explanation.
"You were strong by letting him be, even after what he did to you and your brother. You have too much mercy Katara."
"I have too much what? What does that suppose to mean? Well I'm very sorry I'm not a typical random fire-nation being, waiting for blood to be spilled. I'm sorry I have feelings and that I have mercy compared to your people. Sorry that I'm not a spoiled abandoned prince searching for his honour by travelling around the world after a twelve-year old boy who always managed to escape."
She gave me an angry fierce look. I sighed. I wasn't in the mood for going mad, lose control for some random stupid water-tribe girl who doesn't know what she's talking about. So I walked away back to the shelter.
"Hey, you don't run away from me after starting a fight! I'm not done with you!"
Great, now I'm the bad guy. As always. I tried to speak as cool as I always did, with not too much feeling.
"Don't take out on me. If you had more nerve and just killed him, you wouldn't be so sensitive right now. It's your own fault."
Once getting to the campfire, I warmed myself up with the help of some firebending. Though it wasn't quite necessary. It took Katara only one waterwhip to soak me again. The effort of staying calm got more and more difficult. But I just sat there, doing my firebending trick again so I was dry in no time.
"How can you... Seriously! You are angry all the time, didn't manage to teach Aang firebending because you used your anger as source for energy, and yet, now, here you are, completely calm! What is wrong with you! For once, I would love a little bit of fighting and then, you're not in the mood? Of course, always my cup of tea! Well you know what, I'll make you in the mood."
She moved her hands swiftly, ready to bend some water towards me but I stood up and grabbed her by her wrist.
"Hey, let me go you..."
She cried while trying to escape, but there was no way I would let her go. Maybe because I was angry, or maybe just because I liked touching her tender skin. She stopped struggling and began to cry more and more until she fell to the ground. I managed to at least make her sit up straight.
"Why? What are you ..."
"For what I said. You kept being strong while most others would've just lost temper and finish him. I underestimate what it takes for not killing him. It was probably less easy than just do so."
"It was in fact. I wanted to kill him, you know. I just couldn't. It's not my way of..."
"dealing with problems."
Those blue eyes were watching mine again. Yet, this time it wasn't grief I saw. It was understanding, hope. The campfire painted a lovely orange colour on top of her brown skin. How lovely she was in the lights of a campfire. Her hand reached to my face, but it was already too late when I noticed she was reaching for my scar. I gasped a little once she touched it, and instead of pushing her hand away, I let her do as she pleased. There was something in the tenderness of her fingers which made me feel as if every problem in my life just solved itself out.
"Can you... Can you still see something with that eye?"
" A little..."
"Does it still hurt sometimes?"
As I managed to answer very insensitive, she reached for my ear.
"No and yes."
She quickly tried to pull away her hands, thinking she had said something wrong, when I suddenly stopped her hand and placed it back on my bad cheek. What was I thinking? No idea, I just liked the feeling. It was the first time someone touched it since they had to nurse it after it happened. She was the first one who could look at it and actually touch it while not being distracted or disgusted. She brushed it with her thumb and I closed my eyes by that feeling. I felt suddenly so relaxed and good. Once I opened my eyes, I found her staring at me. She analysed my whole body, from top till toe and got a little colour when she noticed I saw her watching me. My face still looking sour but my heart slowly getting warmer. Thinking how beautiful she actually was, is.
Shit, did I just say that out loud? With panic taking over, it took only seconds before my whole 'I'm-always-cool-and-dispassionate'-image flew away.
"I, uhm, did I say beautiful? I ment who's... wishfu... erm."
She tried to hide her giggle under her hand when I got pink. This was so embarrassing. The prince of the fire-nation never loses his coolness! Great Zuko, great, who's wishful. I really couldn't come up with something better, could I? I looked angry away.
"Zuko, it's alright. You were probably just confused."
Ow how I hoped it had only been that. But she, touching my shoulder didn't quite help. I got more and more tensed by her touches. She was the only one who ever managed to confuse me in this kind of way. It got worse when I caught myself staring at her lips. Don't you even think about it Zuko.
She didn't let go of my shoulder when I turned my face to her. In fact, she looked at my chest and slid down to it with her hand. What was she doing? Did she have any idea what this was doing to me? Her smile faded, her hand still resting.
I leaned forward although my conscience told me otherwise. My hand slid down to her neck and I stopped when my lips were right in front of hers, not yet touching but both breathing heavily. When she didn't pull back, I placed my lips slowly on hers, as gently as I could. Her lips were soft and still a little wet from the rain, but the kiss was amazing. She slid with her hand from my shoulder down my arm and I gently caressed her neck, her collarbone. I pulled away when I noticed I wanted more, afraid that I would lose it. She looked shocked at me.
"I'm sorry, again. I... I'm not good in being good, I..."
"Zuko – "
"I don't know why I did that. I, I guess I'll just shut up now. I never did this before, not kissing I mean, I did that before, but just random, I, you know – "
"Zuko. It's okay."
She smiled a little. Her gaze was adorable in combination with those red cheeks. "You have no idea how much I have been dreaming about a kiss like that one."
"What about Aang?"
Her smile faded in a second, making room for a more fierce look. She looked away, staring at the campfire. "Nothing about Aang."
"I thought that..."
"Thought wrong. What about Mai?"
She stared into the campfire again, but I could see more questions were coming up. I watched those lips again, reminding myself how soft they were, how great – enough Zuko.
"Did you and Mai..."
"Well, you know. Don't make me say it."
"Yes, that word. Answer me."
I frowned a little. Why was she being so harsh suddenly? And of all things, why did she want to talk about Mai. It's not something I wanted to remember. How much I had probably hurt her. "No."
"Oh. But you did got a little closer than just kissing, right?"
"How was that like?"
"Why do you want to know so much about that? Besides, you're only 14 years old."
"What does, you are only 16 and you're the one with experience in the first place. Sorry for being a little curious."
I crossed my arms in front of my belly. Well, if she really wants to know. "It was weird at first, not knowing what you're doing and if you're doing it right. It gets better though... I'm sorry, I don't really want to think about Mai."
"If you're just afraid to talk about sex than just say so."
"I am not, you were the one afraid of using the word. You're too young."
"I'm not too young. Like I never had that one feeling. I know what it is, I just don't have the experience and I hoped you could tell me, guess not!"
I sighed. "It's something you'll have to find out yourself Katara. If you want to know something, ask me, but I don't want to talk about Mai."
She seemed pleased with that. "It's just that, there's this guy. And every time I see him, I feel... Really odd, but not really in an unpleasant way. It's difficult to understand. I feel kind of attracted to him. We only kissed once, but I felt I wanted more, so I was happy he pulled away before I would lose it. What would you do?"
I got lost in her eyes. Was she talking about me? Then yet, what about all those times we were fighting? I felt hot inside, not from the firebending. Realising she has been attracted to me for a long time was flattering. And knowing I wasn't the only one who wanted more... The fact that she was only 14 was suddenly unimportant to me as the heat was coming up again. I got up to sit behind her, right behind her back, my chest and her back almost touching. I could feel the warmth of her body and wondered how the skin of her back would feel, her belly. I placed my hand over her arm and slid down to her hand, gripping her hand into mine, our fingers fitting perfectly together.
"You think I should give into that feeling, Zuko?" she asked.
"I don't know. Maybe."
I smirked when she moaned once I slid with my fingers from her neck down her lower back. She tensed a little back and placed her back against my chest. I warmed myself up a little and she admired our hands wrapped into each other. She turned around and our eyes met.
"Take off your shirt."
"Just do it."
Hesitantly, I took off my shirt and threw it somewhere at the other side of the shelter. Her eyes were watching my torso and she softly placed her gentle hand just above my belly. Her thumb stroking it and eyes not leaving. Slowly her hand caressed my chest and I shivered by the gently movement of it. So soft and pleasant. She stared back into my golden eyes. That's the second part of my most stupid action I ever did.
Those blue eyes looking right through me, her hands making my body shiver, the heat boiling up, knowing she wanted more just like me, I lost it. I placed my hand in her hair, pushed her to my face and kissed her a little too fierce than was necessary. My breathing was heavy and I could feel I was sweating. Unsure she opened her mouth lightly until our tongues met. Once the kiss was slowly developing I got more tightened, more rough in my movements. I pressed her against me so I could feel her breasts under her clothing, and it felt great. Once the tension was getting too much I pulled away, catching my breath and clearing my mind.
I growled. How could she do this to me? It was too tempting, too easy, and I knew I was having troubles with stopping myself. My hands didn't hesitate for a second once she said those words and they were easily lifted to her small, firm breasts. A gasp escaped her mouth which made it difficult to control the muscles tightening in my groin, so I lifted my hand down to her perfect silhouette, down to her hips. Now she was the one kissing me, more daring and certain than before, when she suddenly sat down on my lap, her legs and arms crossed behind my back, rubbing my hair with her right hand and caressing my chest with her other hand. Pulling her closer, I was certain that she felt my hardening, but it felt so good holding her so close to me. Once I was kissing her neck I felt her hand sliding to my groin so I moaned. This was getting too much.
I pushed her off, on her back, lay on top of her and untied her clothes with a smooth gesture. In the meanwhile she was trying to get my pants off as fast as she could when I had come to her bindings. Frustrated by her bindings – why not using a simple bra? – I got irritated and ripped them off. We were panting for breath, realizing I was on top of her, naked. Uncomfortable by that statement, her hands slowly stroke my whole body and she quickly found a way of making me feel comfortable again by softly kissing my neck. I welcomed her lips with mine again while slowly massaging her left breast. Her lips let go when she gasped a little, quickly followed by some moaning. The sounds made me tense more, pulling her closer so she moaned even louder. I smirked at that sound, I did this to her. My lips covered one of her nipples and I sucked them gently. My other hand slipped between her legs, to the warm, damp spot. She shivered while I stroke it softly and it was more and more difficult to control myself. Slowly, one finger slid inside and she released a cry, tightened for a second and relaxed again. In the meanwhile my blood was rushing all the way to my groin but for then I succeeded to control myself. When my finger moved gently back and forth, she couldn't bear the tense anymore and pushed my hand back with a soft moan.
"Stop, stop," she told me, but I could tell by the look in her eyes that she wanted more. Her hands slid to my back and pulled me close to her so I could feel her breasts against. This wasn't really helping to control myself. When we watched each other's eyes, her beautiful blue eyes staring into my golden ones, we realized how close we had come, my erection softly placed next to her damped spot. The look of her face telling me that she wanted this more than anything, and she placed a gentle kiss in my neck. Very slowly I penetrated her, afraid of hurting her when she reached for air. First I was accurate, but her breathing caused a higher-reaching desire, so my movements were getting rougher and rougher. Eventually, we were both too tensed and heated to care if it hurt or not. The intensity was rising and we were both gasping for breath. I was going faster and faster, and she was moaning louder and louder, sometimes calling my name. Eventually, the tension was getting too hot, and we were both almost shouting. I felt the tension fading away as my semen was released while she was coming too.
I plumped down beside her and found her blue eyes watching me. She crawled to me, turned her back at me and worked her way into my arms. Her sweated back touching my chest as we laid side by side, still catching our breath.
"Never leave me," she whispered softly. She spoke as if she was scared that I would. My hand stroke her side and I placed my lips next to her ear. "I promise."