A/N: HOLY MOLY, OVER 8500 WORDS? Not including the AN though. Anyway, I've been working on this for two weeks of laziness, and it's finally done! ;-; I hope you guys enjoy. Im proud of it. Sorry if it contradicts anything...
Disclaimer: *looks at hand* I still don't own anything, not even a Keyblade.
Alternating POVs. Just lettin ya know.
Edit: Added something in the story. Man, I am so dysfunctional...
A Forgotten Memory
"Why do things have to be like this?" Sora whines softly as he presses a tan hand on the mirror. And instead of his reflection, regrettably, I was at the opposite side of the mirror. Ever since Sora and his friends came back from the journey, all my Somebody's been doing, after he discovered that we could still communicate through our heads and talk face to face using a mirror, is whine about how stupid that I was stuck within him like I was a prisoner, and the right I have to be a free being and have my own body and heart, which sounded ridiculous to me (I admit it would be nice but that's impossible right?). Really, this guy was too nice for his own good.
"I told you, I'm fine." I smile unconvincingly as I press my own pale hand on his on the mirror. "We're half of one, aren't we? Without the other, we're incomplete, right?"
"I don't care." Sora protests with a furious expression. "You've been through so much. And keeping you inside of me after all that… It's just… ridiculous!"
I shoot him a quick glare through the mirror before shaking my head. "Look Sora. I've accepted that we're one and the same. Think about what could happen when we're not one." I say as he gives me a look. Does he even know what I'm talking about? "What I'm trying to say is, would you use your head and think about the problems we could encounter when we do get separated from each other once more."
"I told you I don't care what would happen to me as long as you get your freedom."
"But I do Sora. I do. Remember what happened when we were separated from each other? You fell into a coma for a year. As for me…" I shake my head and sigh. "I won't have a heart again. I don't want that to happen to me." Yeah, that's true. It was new to me, being able to finally feel and have a heart and all, and I don't want to lose that feeling again. Whenever I try remembering the memories I have when I was still a Nobody, I can feel what I would've felt if I had a heart then, and most of those feelings were alright. Happy that I became friends with Axel, at peace when we ate ice cream up at the clock tower, proud when I finished a mission, anger when Axel kept secrets from me and sorrow when she… wait, she who? It was the same question every time I end my reminiscing. And it's the same answer every time: I don't know. And then guilt comes in through the front door. There's someone missing in my memories, but my conscience says everything's complete. So why do I feel so… incomplete?
"Hey! Earth to Roxas!" Sora yells, almost slamming his fist on the mirror and managed to resist, although he was able to break my train of thought. Man, sometimes it sucks to share a body, especially with a guy just as reckless as Sora.
"I heard that Rox."
Did I mention that we share minds but only read each other's mind when it was completely necessary? Yeah thanks a lot Sora for breaking the wall between my and your thoughts again.
"I heard that too."
Sigh. "It was meant to be heard. Anything else you picked up from my privacy?"
Sora let out an uneasy chuckle before giving me a serious look. "Tell me Roxas. Is someone missing in your memories?"
I despise that question. I know that I forgot someone important but I didn't want to talk about it. But you can't hide anything forever can you? And no one can hide from a curious Sora, even when you leave to another world. He'll probably do something reckless just to get an answer.
I shrug before giving Sora an uncertain look. "… Yeah, someone very important to me… I guess." I rummage all of my pockets until I found what I was looking for: a seashell with the simple shades of yellow and pink.
"Well no kidding it's a seashell." I joke before sighing. "Well, not entirely. To me, it's more of a memory."
Sora gives me a look which I ignore and continue to explain. "I can't remember most of everything during my time in the Organization. There are huge gaps and blanks everywhere. Especially during times when me and Axel have ice cream together up at the clock tower. It's like… every time I remember the clock tower… something's just not right… It's not the same…"
"And then there's this seashell." I take a deep breath and close my eyes as I remember one of the very few days I had after I left the Organization. I open my eyes again and look at the shell, which now had a more nostalgic feel to it. "Day 357. I made a promise to someone. To set Kingdom Hearts free. But I can't remember who made me promise to set it free. All I remember is… pain… and this shell. That's it." I look up at Sora with pleading eyes. "Please Sora… you have to help me find out who it is and why that person's so important. Please."
Sora takes a moment to ponder about it before looking at me in the eye. "Will it make you happier?"
Typical guy. But what else do I have to lose? "Yeah. A whole lot."
The brunette grins at me. "Sure! And if it's memories we're talking about, then I know just who to talk to." Then he suddenly gives me a bewildered look. "Wait, you counted your days in the Organization?" I start to laugh at the face he made. Really, I'm this guy's Other?
"Sora! Wake up or else I'll give Tidus all the munny you saved up for that sea salt ice cream you've been wanting all week!" I snap with a smirk on my face as he wears a startled look on his face and falls from his chair. Yes he just looks so funny (and adorable as always) that I couldn't help but laugh as I help him up from the ground. Like every other Saturday that I remember ever since we arrived back in the island, you could find me in Sora's room as his temporary tutor since he's been gone for so long that I doubt he remembers how to do Math (okay he actually does remember which is why it's amusing). I was the one gone for the shortest time and I'm his best friend so I took the responsibility on for teaching him whatever he missed and use sea salt ice cream as blackmail when he doesn't concentrate (Hm, he must've picked his weird obsession up from Roxas). I don't know about Riku though. He insisted that he didn't need to be tutored. Guy was probably nervous around Namine, but I couldn't tell since he wore his usual, expressionless mask on his face. Man he is one hard puzzle to crack.
"Kairi, you don't have to be so loud. A guy can go deaf because of your yells…" Sora complains and adds a childish pout as he rubs the back of his head. I could tell he was still processing what I said since he was staring at me with a blank expression for a few moments. And then, as expected, he widens his ocean blue eyes as he comes to a realization to what I said. "What? Kairi, no! You can't give my munny to Tidus! You just can't! I've been saving my munny up all week for it and you know my Mom gives me limited allowance!"
"Well then concentrate on your lessons." I say as I roll my eyes before I give him a gentle smile. "I'll definitely be the one to buy you some if you actually focus."
"But it's hard…" he whines in reply as he shakes his head. I look at him carefully before I give him a flick on the forehead to catch his attention. "Ow! What was that for?"
"You've been a little off lately." I point out calmly as I ran my hand through his chocolate colored spikes. They were surprisingly soft. "Mind telling me what's wrong?"
I saw his face heat up before he gives me a look that instantly made me know that he was having a mental debate with himself. Well, not exactly. I'm guessing Roxas is involved in this too. "Well," Sora suddenly speaks mysteriously after a few long minutes and stares right at my eyes seriously. It really must be urgent for him to have an expression like that. "We need to talk to Namine."
I nod slowly, already understanding what he meant by we. "What's it about? I'll ask her for you." Namine's really quite the shy one so she rarely comes out to speak to anyone which is why I have to deliver any questions or stuff from other people to her.
"Roxas wants his memories back."
I give him a look before leaning in closer to his face. "Roxas? Not you? I thought you were the one who slept for a whole year getting your memories restored since you forgot just about everything you remember in your years of living." I remark with a tone of curiosity. I knew this since Namine had told me everything, and Roxas probably told Sora too so he should know what I'm talking about.
"Thanks for pointing that out. Now can we go back to the topic at hand Kairi?" Sora asks before rolling his eyes sarcastically. I nod in agreement as I prepare to listen intently to whatever he has to say. Sora starts with a shrug before speaking. "Well, Roxas has… missing memories. He says there are gaps and holes everywhere in his mind whenever he remembers most of his time in the Organization." Sora sighs and holds my hand before giving me the same serious look from before, and for a moment I almost see Roxas. "Just ask her please Kairi. He's really depressed and all. I don't want him to feel like that. It's my responsibility as his other half."
I ruffle his spikes and give him a soft smile. "Sora, you aren't saving the world anymore. Now stop creeping me out with your responsibility speeches." I joke as he pouts childishly and then shrugs. "But if it'll make you and Roxas happy, then sure. I will."
My brunette friend's face brightens up as he gives me a wide grin. "Thank you Kairi!"
"No problem. But don't expect too much from me." Unfortunately, Sora didn't listen to me. I could guess since I saw a desperate look on his face before I relax and close my eyes to talk to Namine. I know I didn't have to close my eyes to talk to my Nobody, but I guess that's sort of a habit of mine I have when I need to concentrate.
Namine… she's a great Nobody to have. She may be soft spoken and shy but she's a good friend. We got to know each other better day by day. She even teaches me how to draw now. And I know she'll always help anyone however she can. But if there's one thing Namine isn't, it's a liar, even if she does want to help someone in need, especially when a friend is involved. But she won't lie. She'll never lie again, like she told me. She doesn't want the events in Castle Oblivion to repeat again. I know she's sincere with her words.
I slowly blink my eyes open and face Sora again, almost seeing Roxas once more maybe because from my contact with Namine. He gives me a smile and eyes begging to know the answer. Well I'm sorry Sora, now is just not one of the days when you can get anything you want.
"Well, what'd she say?"
"I'm sorry Sora, Roxas."
Sora's look immediately saddens as he stares at me. I hate seeing him sad. "You don't mean…"
Too bad though. I promised myself that I won't lie either. "There's no way to restore Roxas's memories."
"Mom, I'm home." I call out before sighing. I then enter the living room and throw my bagpack on the couch nearby before my Mom rushes in the room and gives me a kiss on the head. "Mom, I'm not three." I mumble with a sheepish smile as she hugs me and ruffles my hair like she always does.
"I know Sora, but… well, it's just that I haven't seen you for I don't know how long and you saved the world twice! I'm so proud of my boy." My Mom exclaims as she ruffles my hair even more.
"It's been two months since I came back Mom. I'll be home for the rest of our lives so don't worry." I chuckle softly at my Mom's nostalgia. It's actually also been a month since Namine told us her answer about restoring Roxas's memory. The guy took it pretty well, but he's pretty down ever since that day. He even sleeps more often, meaning I don't have anyone to have a mental conversation with in class. Now that I mentioned it, he's still asleep now too. I should go and wake him up…
"Are you sure? Nothing's wrong with you right? You don't have to save the world anymore and stuff?" she asks with a worried look. You're probably wondering why she's not using 'both of you' since well, there's Roxas in me. Basically, I would've told Mom about Roxas and Namine, but Riku and Kairi keep telling me to keep quiet about it since my Mom would probably freak about some other being inside me. So I've been trying to act like nothing's wrong and stuff, but it's pretty hard. You'd get it if you were in my place.
"Alright Sora. I believe you." My Mom replies with a sincere smile and then pats my head. "Okay then kiddo, go to your room and do your homework."
"Aww! I hate homework!"
"Well, you may have saved the world, but your education is just as important to me so go do it."
"Okay okay…" I say with a sigh before waving her off and rushing up my room. After opening the door, I immediately jump on my bed and lie down on my back before letting out a long sigh. Man today wore me out. Why is it that I can kick Heartless butt and save the world but Math lets me break into a sweat?
"Oi, Roxas, wake up man." I call out as I sat up and face the mirror, and then an odd sight immediately greets me.
The mirror had the bed's reflection and of course a sleeping Roxas on it (What the- Is the guy drooling?), but that wasn't the odd part since I was used to having my reflection replaced by my Nobody. The weird part was that he was lying down on someone's lap, and that person was stroking his hair gently with her hand. Brilliant blue eyes look up at me in shock. Believe me, I'm just as shocked as her since I know her.
"Namine?" I ask in disbelief.
Namine's eyes suddenly sadden after the moment I say her name, then she looks down and continues to stroking Roxas's hair before she spoke. "You… see me as Namine?" Whoa, her voice almost sounds exactly like Kairi.
"W-Well, aren't you Namine?" I stutter as I slowly walk over to the mirror, staring at the blonde girl in disbelief. How could she be here in the first place? She's supposed to be Kairi's Nobody. Unless I've been dreaming the whole time and I have two Nobodies and- Wait that doesn't even make sense.
The girl looks up at me and flashes me a small but sad smile. "I'm… not Namine. I'm not even sure if you know me. But I guess you can't see how I look like."
"W-What? I-I'm sorry! Um, wait, I think I can see what you look like now-"
"Shh, Sora, it's alright. You don't have to pretend that you know me."
"Oh man you even know my name. This is seriously making me guilty! Uh, well-!"
"Huh?" I stand there, staring at a stern looking Namine(?). She puts a finger in front of her lip and gives me a sincere but solemn smile before stroking Roxas's hair again. "You'll wake him up Sora." She explains plainly after a while of awkward silence.
"Oh, sorry…" I apologize with a wry smile on my face and scratch the back of my head. "Um, what're you doing here anyway? I mean, not like you're allowed to or anything but… yeah, I'm… just asking."
"I… don't know." Namine(?) said with a shrug and an uncertain look before she gives me a wry smile. "I'm not even sure why I'm here in the first place. I'm supposed to be…" Not bothering to finish her sentence, she bites her lip and looks away from me with a pained expression on face. Hm, I'm supposed to say something to cheer her up, but my mind just went blank. 'C'mon Sora, Roxas ain't here to help you. Think… think… think…'
"Uh, well," I start out hesitantly before giving her one of my trademark grins. "Who cares? You're here, so you are supposed to be… whatever you were going to say." Insert mental facepalm here. That was a stupid thing to say. "Erm, plus Roxas is a handful so yeah it's comforting to have someone else to take care of him when I'm not around."
Instead of giving me a what-the-heck look, the girl gives me a warm, genuine smile and lets out a soft giggle before turning to me. "Yeah, he is isn't he? Always thinking of others first. And you may not know it, nor does he, but you and Roxas both alike in so many ways."
I let out a small laugh, making sure it wasn't loud enough to make Roxas jump up to his feet. "Don't know if I'm supposed to be flattered," I joke. "but I'll take that as a compliment. Thanks. Now, if you're not Namine, what am I supposed to call you?"
The girl gives me a hesitant look as she ponders on something. After a while of more silence, she looks at Roxas's sleeping form before looking back up at me. "Xion. Let's stick with that, alright?"
"Alright, Xion." I smile at her, already getting comfortable around her presence. "I'm Sora, even though you already know that. Heh."
"Sora…" She repeats after me before smiling at me brightly. Suddenly she gives me a sheepish smile showing that she was embarrassed and tugs on one of her blonde bangs. "Erm, I'm sorry for suddenly appearing. It's just that… well… I can't explain so well. I'm sorry."
"Don't be." I say as I sit in front of the mirror. "Like I said before, Roxas is a handful, and I need someone to watch over him while I'm not around. Oh, speaking of him, does he know you?"
Xion smiles at me, except this time her expression was genuinely sad. "Um, no, he doesn't. But whatever you do, don't tell him about me, alright?"
"What? But how can you take care of him when he doesn't even know you?"
"Just don't. Please Sora? Please don't tell Roxas that I'm around. I prefer to keep a low profile. That's just how I work. In fact, don't tell anyone about me, especially Roxas."
"Aww, why? I wanted to introduce you to my friends, especially that Namine girl I mentioned. You look exactly like her."
"No!" she exclaims, her eyes wide open before it softens into a pleading expression. "Just… please don't."
I give her a weirded out look before hesitantly nodding. "Alright Xion, I won't tell him or anyone about you."
Yeah, I am going to regret this later on am I? "Yeah, I promise."
She gives me a small smile before nodding in satisfaction. "Thank you Sora. I appreciate it."
I smile back at the Namine look alike. "No problem Xion. What friends are for right?"
Xion gives me a weird look as she stares at me, speechless. I give her a questioning look, wondering what I said that made her look at me like that. "Um, friends?" she emphasizes the last word enough for me to get what she was talking about. My face heats up from embarrassment and shake my head and cross my arms to form an 'X' with them. "Oh! I'm sorry for jumping into things immediately. I mean, yeah, I thought we were friends already and if you prefer it that way-"
"No! Don't say it!" Xion exclaims as she covers her mouth with her hands and looks back down on Roxas with her face full of concern before sighing in relief after seeing that he was still asleep. She gives me a sheepish smile and tugs her bangs nervously again. "Um, no, I want to be… friends with you Sora. Sorry, it's just been a while since I've had anyone to call friend."
"Well that ends now then!" I say, jumping up and then standing before flashing my trademark grin at her. "Now that we're friends, you won't have to worry about that anymore. Whenever you need someone to talk to, I'm always here to lend an ear." I nod at her, still grinning until I suddenly come to a realization. "Wow, I actually made something rhyme."
Xion softly laughs at my words, and it wasn't too long after I start laughing with her too. I have a feeling that the next few weeks might be good days for me.
Two weeks later…
Well, so much for a peaceful afternoon just hanging out with my three best friends. Sora and I were at that bent tree we, including Kairi, usually hang around whenever there was a sunset, but, currently, a certain brunette friend of mine is staring at me with a bewildered look while I somehow ended up holding a certain Nobody's journal in my hand after Sora told me about missing memories or something. I was hoping to keep it secret until I read it, but I guess that'll be impossible now.
"Are you kidding me?" Sora says as he continues to stare at me with the weird look firmly planted on his face. "Are you seriously kidding me Riku? Are you really holding his journal in your hand?"
I roll my eyes and show him the front of the journal which clearly had the words Number XIII, Roxas at the front. I flick his forehead with my fingers, making Sora step back and glare at me. "Yes, I am holding your Nobody's journal in my hand. Problem?"
"Yes! A lot!" Sora, or most likely Roxas, cries out loud at me. "That's my journal! How could you take someone's private property? It's personal!" Yep, Sora definitely let Roxas out. I sigh, unfazed by Sora's sudden switchover, and face the blonde whose features were now clearly visible in my eyes. "I got it in The World That Never Was probably around the time before I saved Kairi when I was still Ansem. I was curious about something your journal could possibly have."
"Then tell me Riku," Roxas starts with a stern look on his face, which is sort of creepy since he looks almost exactly like Sora. "What are you so curious about that you had to take my journal?"
Somehow, I resist the urge to shrug and maintain my relaxed composure. What was I curious about? I'm not even sure myself. I just felt the need to take the book because of something… or someone? I don't know. What I do remember is that I took it for a reason I've already forgotten. Maybe it was out of guilt, or maybe it was because I know someone would need it in the future? "… Just because." I reply bluntly after the few moments of silence, making sure I'm as expressionless as can be.
"'Just because' is not an answer Riku. It's never the proper answer." Roxas then shakes his head in disbelief before he suddenly starts fading back into Sora. After a while of staring, he lets out a long sigh. "Alright, Roxas is asleep again. First of all, I'll say… sorry Riku. I'm saying sorry for me and Roxas." I nod once silently before he flashes me a sheepish smile before scratching the back of his head. "If you need to know, well, let's just say the guy's just a bit peeved because of a few issues he's been having lately."
I raise a questioning eyebrow at the spiky haired brunette in front of me. "You seem to be happy even after all that. Do you even care?"
Sora gives me a bewildered look before his expression becomes angry. "What is wrong with you Riku? Of course I do care!" he exclaims as he sends a glare over to me. "He's my Other. If he has problems, it's my concern too. I'm doing as much as I can to make him happy you know."
"And what exactly have you been doing?" I ask as I cross my arms and give him a look. He looks at me again before biting his lip and looking away with a distant look on his face. No answer. I knew it. "What do you hope to achieve with solving his problems?"
"I just want to make him happy." Sora whispers before turning back to me with a blank expression on his face. "I have no idea what Roxas has been through before he… went back into me. But what I do know is that I want to help him however I can. Making him happy is the first step."
"You can't stop me alright Riku?" he continues to speak and this time, he has his trademark grin on his face. "I want to make him happy. I want to make everyone I know happy. It's my choice to do so."
I stare at him seriously before sighing. Really, why am I best friends with him again? I'll never know, but if he wants to do this so bad, then don't go crying to me when things don't go your way Sora. Things just aren't like that with the snap of your fingers.
'I can't believe I'm doing this…' I think as I shove the journal in Sora's hands. Curious deep blue eyes start to stare at me. I shrug and avoid Sora's gaze just in case Roxas suddenly pops out again. "We will never speak of this to anyone, alright?"
Sora's face lights up as he does a tackle glomp on me. "Oh thank you Riku!"
"What the- Sora, how many times do I have to tell you to stop being so reckless!"
He backs away with a grin before opening the journal and skimming through the pages. "Sorry, I just got excited. Wait 'till I tell Kairi about your sudden-" Suddenly, Sora pauses midway on his sentence as he flips through more of the journal's pages with a startled expression on his face, nearly dropping the Nobody's journal in the process. I give him a look before patting him on the shoulder in the process. "Sora..?"
He snaps back to reality at the sound of my voice, and he gives me a sheepish smile before shaking his head. "If you're wondering what's wrong, it's nothing. Hey, I think I'll go back home. I forgot to do some chores. Tell Kairi I couldn't make it okay?"
I give him an incredulous look before raising a questioning eyebrow at him. "Sora, you've been waiting all week to hang out with your dream girl and have that sea salt ice cream. Now you're just leaving?" I ask with no hint of humor in my voice.
"Erm… yeah… I forgot to do something. My Mom sent me on an errand earlier today and I'll probably get grounded if I don't do it." Sora replies as he scratches the back of his head with an unsure look on his face. He starts walking off and waving goodbye at me. "Tell Kairi I'm sorry! I'll make it up to you Riku! I'll set you up on a date with Namine!"
He gives me a goofy grin as I glare at him before he runs off, disappearing from view a few minutes later. I shake my head and sigh before leaning on the lower part of the tree's trunk. Man, I pity Roxas for being stuck with an idiot like him. But that idiot is still my best friend, so…
"He's seriously going to pay if he was serious with what he said." I say to myself silently before grunting and then I touch my cheek, which was warm. He just had to mention Namine…
I'm always here by your side, watching over you whenever you sleep. You may not know me, but I know you.
"Argh, I sound like a stalker… I really had too much time in the darkness alone." I say to myself as I sigh, stroking the male blonde's hair gently and making sure he doesn't wake up. I really wish I could stay in this position with him forever, awake or not. But it's best he doesn't remember me. I know that. Whenever I was around, all I brought was pain and despair. Sure, I know he's depressed now because he doesn't remember me but it's best that I never existed in his mind since memories of me are more painful than they are now. Which is why, after one more stroke of his hair, I disappear whenever he starts to wake up.
"At least I'm not alone Roxas." I whisper softly as I smile at his sleeping form. "Sora keeps me company, though I doubt that he has any idea on who I am." I then start to laugh softly. "He's almost exactly like you, you know. He's kind, caring and always thinking of others first. Sound familiar?"
I then hold Roxas in my arms, burying my face in his chest. "He told me that you're sad because of your missing memories… I'm sorry, it's my fault." I place his head back down on my lap. "I'm truly sorry Roxas. We'll meet again someday, face to face, alright? Then we can have ice cream together again and watch the sunset." I gently press my lips his forehead before leaning back on the wall and felt my face heat up. "I'm definitely not gonna tell you I did that." I laugh before sighing. I wish he was awake, his face blushing too, and Axel by our side teasing us. But you can't have everything you want, can you?
Then, on impulse, I glance down on what I'm wearing, which were black coat, gloves and boots. It's the same old thing I wear. But why is it that I look different on everyone else's point of views?
"I'm me. Nobody else." I say, smiling as I say those comforting words. I glance back down on the blonde with the smile still stuck on my face. "Right, Roxas?"
I jump slightly at the sound of the brunette's voice. 'Huh, Sora's early today. I thought he was going to hang out with Kairi and Riku?' I think to myself as I adjust me and Roxas in a more comfortable position, his head still on my lap. Then, before I knew it, I'm facing the brunette Keyblader again, him on the other side of the mirror and Roxas and I on the floor. I smile at Sora again and give him a small wave. "Hey, Roxas is fine. You can hang out with your friends again."
Sora doesn't return the smile. A blank expression is stuck on his face as he puts a notebook in front of himself. It was no ordinary notebook though. It had the words Number XIII, Roxas in the front. My eyes widen as I realize what it was.
"Xion." Sora whispers as he narrows his eyes at me. "You have some explaining to do."
"How did you..?" The Namine look alike's eyes widen even more that I got scared of the possibeilty of it popping out of her eye sockets (and maybe land on Roxas too…). I walk towards my bed and sit down on it before I return her gaze.
"Riku." I put it simply as I place the journal on the floor before shaking my head in disbelief and stare at her with a confused expression on my face. "You were part of Organization XIII? And you knew Roxas but you never told me? I could've helped Roxas and even you if you had a problem. Two birds with one stone. But you wouldn't tell me anything. You wouldn't let me help you. I had to read it from my own Nobody's journal." Xion's expression saddens as she turns glances at another direction, avoiding my gaze. I continue to speak anyway. "C'mon Xion, let me help you. You can help Roxas too. You can help him find that person he can't remember."
Xion turns back to look at me in the eye, her expression blank and hard to read, then she flashes me a wry smile. "Tell me Sora. I know Roxas. If he knew me too, then I would've told him earlier, wouldn't I?" I give her a questioning look, not quite understanding where she's going at. She sighs and looks down at Roxas's face, her finger gently tracing a circle on his cheek. "Why am I here bothering Roxas when I could just fade back whenever I want? No one knows me because I don't exist. I might just be in your imagination. I might be no one. But why do I stay?"
"It's because he's here." She continues to speak, her finger suddenly stopping and she places her hand down. "It's because I want to take care of him. It's because he's my best friend. Because he accepts me for who I am. He doesn't know me, but I do. I know him better than anyone else."
I widen my eyes to stare at her as I came to the realization with what she was probably trying to tell me. "You're her, aren't you? You're the one who gave him the seashell."
"That's right." Xion says with a sad smile. She rummages a pocket (I did not see that) on her coat and pulls out a shell which was exactly like Roxas's "I was once known as Number XIV. But now I'm just Xion, someone he can't remember."
"If you care about him so much…" I start as I sit on the floor, still facing the mirror. "Why go through all the trouble with being hidden?"
"Because if I tell him who I am, I'll go back… to just being memories." Xion faces down and stares down at Roxas. "I'll be alone again. I'll be nothing but darkness once more. I want to stay by Roxas's side. That's all I want until I find another way. So until then, I'll wait. I'll wait until I can reunite with him again. Because I… him." I tilt my head at the side, not quite catching what she said before 'him.' She looks up at me again and gives me a wry smile. "This is odd for you isn't it? Nobodies pretending they can feel."
"Well, it is." I say honestly, not averting my gaze. She looks at me, surprised with what I said. "You guys don't have hearts, but you can be happy and you guys are friends." Suddenly, I flash her a sheepish smile before placing my hands behind my head. "Guess this proves that I shouldn't believe in everything Yen Sid tells me, because I know you guys have a heart, existent or nonexistent ones. What's the difference?"
Silence creeps on us as she stares at me, probably processing on what she should say. Then she said the only words I needed to hear. "Thank you Sora."
"Hey, what friends are for."
She suddenly giggles after looking at me with a blank expression and looks up at me with a solemn expression on her face. "No wonder Kairi took an interest in you. You're both a cute couple, and everyone else seems to think so too."
I feel my face heat up as I start to rapidly shake my head in disagreement. "N-No! I-It's not like that! We're just friends. Really good friends. I mean sure, I love her a lot but- Wait no! It's not what you think!"
She smiles at me warmly and I could tell it was a genuine smile, something even Riku can't pull off (Hey, no offense Riku! I was kidding!). "Calm down Sora. I know you like her too. You have to tell her someday, alright?"
I shift myself nervously before nodding and returning the smile. "Sure. I will. Not… now though… Hehe…" I say hesitantly as I scratch the back of my head. She lays Roxas down on the bed shown on the mirror before coming right in front of me… in the mirror anyway. I take a closer look at her and, even though she looks exactly like Namine, she had a different feel around her. Before I could take a closer look, she abruptly commands me, but not in a way to make it seem bossy, by saying "Hold out the journal."
I give her a confused look before picking it up and holding it in front of her and almost pressing it on the mirror. She lifts one of her hands up and places it on the opposite side of the mirror before closing her eyes. Suddenly, glowing letters surround the said journal and, startled, I let it go and immediately thought it would fall, but it stayed in the air. I look at the letters carefully and saw that they spelled 'Xion' before they unexpectedly start to turn around the black, airborne notebook. I look away since I got dizzy after five seconds of staring at the letters. "Hey Sora." Xion says quietly. "What's it like to feel sadness?"
"Um… Something you can't get off your chest until you eat sea salt ice cream?" I reply lamely, half joking only. Xion lets out a humorless laugh at my response before I hear her sigh a nostalgic breath. "You know… I'm sad because I might not be together with him again. I wonder if how I'm feeling right now would intensify if I had a heart. I wonder how my feelings would intensify when the day me, Axel and Roxas can have ice cream again one day."
I turn around, and when I look at the journal again, the letters had… melted would be how I'd describe it, but didn't leave a trace behind. The notebook slowly places itself down on the floor in front of me. I look at the journal again, curious of what she possibly could've done to it, and my question was answered as I flip through the pages.
Every single detail which had anything that talked about Xion…was completely gone.
"What..?" I gasp, double checking the pages for anything – anything at all, as long as it had her in it – but there was nothing. As if she never really existed. And yet she's right there with Roxas, so she definitely exists. So why did she have to do something like that?
Her eyes were locked on me as I examine the journal over and over to try and see if I missed anything. "It's your turn." She suddenly says quietly after a while of me getting too absorbed in studying the book. I stare at her, confused by her words. What did she mean by that? Then the surprise came. She raises her hand which pointed right at me while I processed her words. Then, after taking one more glance at the book, I realize what she was about to do…
She was going to erase herself in my memories. Just like how she did so with the journal.
I take a step back and give her a disbelieving look. "Why..?"
"So you can do me a favor without having to reveal anything about me." She smiles sadly at me "You'll… hand him his journal right? Can you do that for me too?"
"Well sure I can but," I mumble as I take another step back. "You don't have to do anything to me you know. I can actually keep my mouth shut. I mean sure there was that time I accidentally blurted out the fact that Selphie likes Tidus and-"
"Sora," Xion's soothing voice stops me from speaking and smiles, her eyes having an emotion I just can't identify. "It's not that I want to. I have to. I can't let anyone know about me yet actually. It's… not time yet." She looks at me as she fiddles with her fingers. "Just give him the journal, alright? That's all I ask until we meet again."
I was about to reply when the same letters appear right in front of me. I look at the Namine doppelganger again with a panicky expression and I try to move away, but I was frozen in place. There was no getting out. The letters start to spin and I close my eyes to prevent myself from getting dizzy, and I keep repeating her name in my head. Xion… Xion… Xion…
I blink my eyes open sleepily, the letters still rapidly turning. I was getting drowsy, and that didn't seem like a good sign since it was still around 5:30 in the afternoon, and I usually sleep around 9:00 or so. Her spell had the possibility of knocking me out, and that means I can't keep repeating her name in my head, and I'll forget her. I didn't want that to happen. I didn't want anyone else to forget about her again. For it to happen twice… it's just… sad. I don't want her experiencing that pain again.
I muster up all my energy to try and stay awake, and then I shift her gaze over her. She looks at me right in the eye, and her face had a solemn but sad expression. I open my mouth to say something, but she puts a finger over her lip, a sign telling me to be quiet. She smiles at me warmly, and for a moment, I saw a girl who looked exactly like Kairi a year ago, except she had ebony hair and bangs that went to the right. She wore the Organization XIII coat and even had the matching gloves, pants and boots. The same girl was smiling at me as my eyes started to close.
And I realize that I had just seen Xion's true appearance.
I chuckle to myself silently, except it was humorless. I can't believe I finally see what she looks like… only to forget something important to me again. "Xion… I'm sorry." I whisper silently, hoping that she could hear.
"I should be the one to that must be forgiven."
And then everything went black.
"Sora. Wake up already." I groan, annoyed that my Somebody had decided to take a nap on the floor for three hours. I found him like that when I had woken up from my sleep. I saw the brunette sprawled on the floor, his forehead with a few beads of sweat. I had been repeating the same line around 178 times (I still have that habit of counting…) while sitting on the reflection floor, and, hoping that 179 would be my lucky number, I say it again, and this time, he suddenly sits up, more sweat forming on his face. "Whoa, calm down. You're showering in your own sweat."
"What..?" He looks around, seeming a bit jumpy. 'Guy must've had a bad dream.' I think as I scratch the back of my head, slightly curious with his silence. "You were passed out on the floor for about 3 hours. Picked the best place to sleep on, did you?"
Sora shoots me a glare before sighing and giving me an embarrassed smile. "Sorry, I guess I got tired from all that running I did to rush home. I think I forgot something but now…" Sora suddenly stops, a weird look on his face. I look at him curiously and sigh after guessing what he probably forgot. "You forgot that you had no homework for the weekend didn't you?" I say with a snicker.
"Er, yeah. Pretty much…" Sora replies hesitantly, shrugging slightly at his words. I then notice he was holding a black notebook which seems oddly familiar. "Hey Sora, what's that in your hand?" I ask as I squint to try and get a better look at it.
"What notebook?" he responds as he tilts his head to the side with a raised eyebrow. Mentally facepalming at the fact that he couldn't feel something that's tightly gripped in his hand, I cock my head at the side with an amused expression as I point at the familiar-looking notebook. He looks down at his hand and raises the notebook up for me to see, and on the cover was Number XIII, Roxas on it. I widen my eyes as I rush up to the mirror and almost headbang myself on it. "You got my journal from Riku?" I ask eagerly as I press both of my hands on the mirror, wanting to take an even closer look.
"Yep. I'll get the guy a date with Namine for that." Sora grins as he gives me a thumbs up. I muster up the best smile that didn't seem fake at all as I tell him "Thanks a lot Sora. Means a lot to me to have that back. Maybe I can find something about that missing person!"
"Yeah! I can't wait to know who it is!" Sora replies ecstatically, placing the book in front of the mirror. An exact copy of it appears by the mirror on my side, and I sit down to flip through the pages carefully, the notebook which Sora had doing the same on its own. I smile as I read through each page, recalling each and every memory that I could remember relating to what I had written down. Sora was just staring at me, waiting for me to say anything at all, although it was a bit awkward since I wasn't used to getting stared at. Then, I arrive at the last page which is labeled Day 358. The page was blank and clean. Nothing seemed interesting to my eyes for it to have anything… vital at all with my memory dilemma. I sigh in defeat and look up at Sora as I shake my head. "Nothing at all. Guess I didn't write anything about that person in my journal. I thought I would've done so…"
"Yeah, I wonder why you wouldn't write anything about that person." Sora says his thoughts out loud as he places his hands behind his head with an expression that let me know that he was in deep thought. It looked sorta creepy, since Sora was rarely serious and was usually like he was always in a sugar rush.
I look at the same blank page again, my thumb sliding itself to every part of the paper. At the corner of my eye, I suddenly see something glow for a brief moment. I blink, thinking that I was just imagining things. Then another glow flashes just as quick as the last one, and it was coming from the back of the notebook. I flip it over, careful not to accidentally end up throwing it. Letters at the back of the book were glowing, and I really didn't see that before. I read the words out loud since I felt a certain brunette staring at me with curious eyes.
All I wanted to say to you were four simple words that us Nobodies could never say. But I'll still keep dreaming until you do.
"That's it?" Sora suddenly says. "Fancy lowing letters and that's all it says? Not even a hint? What a let down." He says as he shakes his head in disbelief and plops down on his bed, probably bored out of his mind. I felt something tug at the back of my mind. The fact that I didn't know at all on what it meant was frustrating. I know it's an important clue, but I really didn't get it. What three simple words could it be?
I take out the mysterious seashell and place it beside the words, and more letters appear. Letters I didn't really expect to appear actually. I was guessing that it was the four words this mystery person wanted to tell me. I wonder if I ever felt the same way towards this person...
"Who are you... again?"
I jump, startled at the voice. But I recognized it. It was my own voice. A single tear slides down my face for no reason, and I was suddenly feeling... sad. Why?
As I feel my sadness spread, a picture suddenly flashes in my head as I read the words again. I clutch my head tightly, my head suddenly throbbing in pain…
"You can't let Xemnas… have his way. You can't."
A girl familiar yet vaguely unrecognizable in my memory is held tightly in my arms, her legs crystallizing. I start to feel a pang of sadness in my hollow chest as I stare at her. She had raven hair that didn't reach her shoulders, and she had brilliant blue eyes that put the bluest of sapphires to shame.
"Goodbye Roxas. See you again."
See you again? What did she mean? Is she… leaving me?
"I'm glad… I got to meet you. Oh, and of course, Axel too You're both my bestest friends."
Best… friends? I'm her best friend? Then why don't I know you? Why do I feel sad as I look at you? But I felt another emotion somewhere in me… longing?
"Never forget. That's the truth."
If it's the truth… then why did I forget?
Why did I have to forget you?
The next few weeks were troubling both Sora and Roxas. It was both of them now who were having memory loss problems, again for Sora. He'd deny it, but sometimes, whenever he looked at Roxas in the mirror, he felt that something was missing. Or maybe someone...
As for Roxas, he would just spend his days pondering about the odd picture ('Or was it a memory?' he sometimes wondered) in his head when he had read the last sentences at the back of the journal. He never told anyone about it, because he wanted everyone to stop worrying, so he never complained about memory loss ever again. But every night, he'd wake up and take out the special seashell and hold it close to him, as if it was someone.
Of course, Riku and Kairi and even Namine would try to help with them, but they just wanted to be alone, even just for a little while.
Sora had spent a few of his days staring at the sunset alone by the beach, sitting on a crooked palm tree that grew Paopu Fruits, the same tree he, Riku and Kairi usually hang around. Yes, Sora was alone whenever he wanted to go there by himself, but if you squinted hard, you could see two ghostly figures right beside him, one of them being a blonde with spiky hair that went at the side, and a girl with short raven hair, and the three of them would just watch the sunset, not speaking at all, and let nostalgia take over their hearts, existent or nonexistent.
Kinda rushed at the ending huh? Boo. :l
Oh and the Xion looking like Namine thing... I based it on KH3D when Sora met Xion (IT'S NOT A CRACK PAIRING ANYMORE RIGHT? RIGHT? D:) but Xion looked like Namine (Sora, why...?) so yeah that'll explain stuff a little...