Summary : Sebastian may have gone to Paris to get away from Kurt, but it's the small thing that still bring back memories.
Author's Note: I'm going to be one of those pretentious assholes with a title in another language. It's a lyric from the song I use in here, so I'm double-pretentious.
La Luna Trop Pâle
Sebastian's been falling apart for months now. The bar is some cheap place not too far from his apartment. It smells like piss and alcohol. He leans against the bar as he takes another swig of his beer.
His eyes drift over to the dance floor. Some girl with bleached blonde hair and visible roots is grinding against a guy nearly twice her age. Judging by her shirt, she's a tourist because her shirt has a heart with the words "Paris: The City of Love" written inside it in cursive. Sebastian snorts and twists a silver ring on his right hand before sighing and leaning back. The stool wobbles for a second before balancing out.
"Une autre, monsieur?" Sebastian turns around to see the bartender staring at him and gesturing to his drink. He's cleaning a glass with a rag, and Sebastian's almost positive he's only making it dirtier. Sebastian nods his head, and the man uses the smudged glass to grab beer from the tap.
"Merci," Sebastian mumbles out, taking the glass and slipping two Euros down on the counter. Sebastian's barely taken a sip from it when someone starts playing at the piano. From the first few notes, before the lyrics even start, Sebastian recognizes it.
"Are you crying?" Kurt asks, grinning despite the tears swimming in his eyes.
"No," Sebastian bites back, crossing his arms over his chest and pursing his lips together.
"Those look like tears to me," Kurt continues teasing, prodding at Sebastian's side. Sebastian yelps and pulls back.
"Yeah, tears of boredom because Satine wouldn't just fucking die already." His words are met by a slap, and Kurt scowls at him. Just to be stubborn, Sebastian scowls back.
"Asshole." Kurt humphs before pulling away from Sebastian. Sebastian rolls over so that he's straddling Kurt. He presses their lips together, and Kurt reluctantly smiles. "Did you at least like the songs?"
Sebastian's hands run up and down Kurt's sides, slipping under his shirt as he lets out a hum. "That French one was nice."
"Complainte de la Butte?" Sebastian nods, and his lips fall to Kurt's neck as he starts lightly sucking at the skin. Moaning softly, Kurt's hands wrap around Sebastian, and he tilts his head, giving Sebastian easier access. "You speak French fluently, right?"
"You should sing it to me sometime," Kurt muses, though his train of thought is cut off as Sebastian plays with the waistline of his pants. He chuckles against Kurt's neck before pulling back and arching his eyebrows.
"You overestimate my romantic side, babe."
After wetting his lips, Sebastian tilts the glass back again. The liquid burns the back of his throat as he chugs at it, and his eyes start to water. Pulling it back, he sputters and gracelessly puts his sleeve up to his mouth, wiping it over his lips. His mother would be disgusted if she could see him now.
The glass hits the counter with a low thud as Sebastian sets it down, and he spins it once, watching the beer rise up to one side before settling down. Sebastian's hand goes to his hair, and he tugs through it before glancing back at the piano player. His eyes close, and he can't help but quietly hum along; he knows all the lyrics to the song.
Sebastian's head jerks up as a hand settles on his shoulder. "Bonjour." He has a thick American accent that makes Sebastian cringe. The guy's eyes are slightly hazed over. He licks his lips as he scans Sebastian up and down. His hair's neatly gelled back, and there's something about the way he's dressed in tight pants and a form-fitting blue button-up that reminds Sebastian of Kurt.
"So, like this?" Kurt runs his hands down his pants for the hundredth time, smoothing down the invisible creases.
"Babe, you've gone to a bar before." Sebastian rolls his eyes.
"Shut up. It's important. You don't understand. You don't care if you dress in those atrocious striped shirts. Who pops their collars anymore, anyway?" Kurt stares at the offending item of clothing, and Sebastian gapes, placing a hand over his heart as if offended. He's used to Kurt making fun of everything he wears by this point.
"Who are you trying to impress, anyway?"
"You." Kurt glances over at his closet. "Maybe I should change."
"Me? No matter what you wear, it'll look better on the floor to me." Kurt flushs and stomps his foot down on Sebastian's left foot, making him yelp out in pain. He hops on his right, bringing his right one up as he scowls at Kurt.
"What was that for?"
"Everything's about sex with you, Sebastian."
"Hey, it's not like you're complaining." Sebastian reaches out, but before he can do anything, Kurt swats his hands away.
"Later," Kurt says, turning around. Sebastian can't help but think he's swinging his hips wide like that on purpose, and his eyes stay fixed on Kurt's ass. After all, he can't deny that it looks good in those tight jeans. "My face is up here," Kurt says, and Sebastian looked up to see Kurt glancing back, looking at him smugly.
"Oh, you're American. Thank God. I thought I heard you talking to the bartender in French earlier, though."
"I speak both." Sebastian puts the beer back up to his lips and swirls it around before taking another sip. He shrugs his shoulders.
"Oh." For a moment the guys continues staring him up and down. When Sebastian raises his eyebrows challengingly, he continues. "What's a guy like you doing in Paris?" he asks, leaning an arm against the counter.
"Why not? For fun. Because I can." Sebastian knows it's not the real reason. The real reason is that he doesn't know how to live anywhere else without Kurt. But he's not about to tell some stranger that. "Besides, I could ask you the same question." He keeps himself aloof, but his voice is a quiet murmur. It draws the guy closer to him as he tries to hear Sebastian over the music in the bar.
"I wanted to paint. Turns out I wasn't quite as successful as I thought."
"How very bohemian," Sebastian drawls, clearly disinterested. He finished his drink and sets it down before inspecting the glass.
"Kevin." When Sebastian didn't respond, he adds, "That's my name."
"Really? I hadn't guessed." For a moment Kevin looks affronted, but then he clears his throat. "What's yours?"
"Are we going to hook up or not?" Sebastian stares at him, and Kevin's eyebrows jump in surprise.
"Hookup... You? Me? Isn't that what you wanted?"
"Well, yeah, but..." Before Kevin can get out another word, Sebastian's arms hook around his waist, and he draws him forward, pressing their lips together. Kevin instantly relaxes, and Sebastian pulls himself up, tugging Kevin towards the bathroom.
He bites down on Kevin's lower lip before tugging at his shirt. Kevin lifts his hands up as they tumble backwards into the bathroom. Sebastian pulls Kevin's shirt over his head, and he sloppily kisses a trail down Kevin's neck. He sucks at the skin, leaving an angry red mark. Kevin moaned, his fingers digging into Sebastian's skin as he pulls them into a stall, slamming it shut behind them.
Kurt kicks backwards, the door to their bedroom door closing. He whimpers as Sebastian fumbles with his zipper, sucking at his neck. His teeth graze against Kurt's pulse point and he shoves Kurt backwards on the bed. Kurt whines, staring up at him, his chest heaving. Moving down so that his legs straddle either side, he pops each of the buttons on Kurt's shirt, his hands running down his chest.
"You're so fucking hot."
"Tell me something I don't know," Kurt says with a light laugh, and Sebastian smiles back. Of course, he's easily distracted, and his lips roam down Kurt's chest as he nibbles at it before taking a nipple into his mouth. His teeth scrape lightly against it before he's playing with it, watching Kurt keen beneath him.
Sebastian manages to tug his pants down after a minute, and the palm of his hand presses down against the tent in his boxers. Kurt lets out a choked sound, and Sebastian grins.
"I love it when you moan for me, baby," he purrs, and Kurt's retorted it slurred and obscured by his moans. Sebastian moves down, his mouth wrapping around Kurt's cock over his boxers. His tongue presses down, and Kurt's hands immediately fall to his hair, pulling roughly through it.
Kevin's fingers tighten around Sebastian's hair. Sebastian lets out another whimper in response, only taking him deeper. He hums, the vibrations running up Kevin's cock. Kevin's hips automatically jerk forward, and Sebastian gags as Kevin's cock hits the back of his throat. Pulling back, he sputters, though seconds later he's back at it, teasing the head. His tongue swirls around it before his tongue runs across the slit, tasting the pre-cum.
Kevin grunts, pushing forward again. His hands tighten, and his nails scrape into Sebastian's scalp. Sebastian hisses out in pain, and his mouth widens. He gags as Kevin's cock shoves forward again. Sebastian does his best to swallow around it, and his tongue presses against the underside, feeling the bump of a vein. He closes his eyes.
The way his head bobs up and down is almost methodical, like this is some sort of a routine. In a way, it is. The weight of a slick cock is familiar to him, and he tightens his lips a bit as he hallows his cheeks. Kevin only moans above him in response. His fingers loosen a bit, and he puts his hand to rest on the back of Sebastian's neck, running his fingers before guiding his head down.
Kevin's hand grips onto his hair, as one of Sebastian's hands crawl up his thighs before cupping his balls. His other hand dips into his pants, and he languidly strokes his own cock, feeling pressure build in his stomach. He can tell from the way that Kevin's muscles tighten that he's close.
"Fuck!" Kevin groans, and his fingers curl in tightly around Sebastian's neck once again. His posture freezes, and he lets out a rough shout. His hand holds Sebastian's head in place, unintentionally, and Sebastian does his best to swallow around Kevin's cock. Still, he sputters, and the come dribbles down his chin when he finally pulls back. His eyes look up to Kevin, only to see him against the stall, his cheeks flushed and his lips wet. Somehow, it reminds Sebastian of Kurt.
And he hates it.
It isn't supposed to be that way. He isn't supposed to be the one who can't stop thinking about it. But then again, he's supposed to be the one who cuts off relationships, not the one to be left.
Sebastian gives a few more tugs to his cock before biting down on his lip. His head buries into Kevin's thigh as he comes, and he lets out a choked moan, shuddering. His head blurs for a second, and his breathing's ragged. When he finally pulls back, he pulls himself up and unlocks the stall door, stumbling out. Hastily, he remembers his pants are still around his ankles as he trips forward. As he catches himself on the wall, he tugs them up, buttoning and zipping them.
"Let's go to your house," Kevin groans, lazily pulling at his boxers. He leans against the stall door for a second before reaching for his pants as well. "I could fuck you." The timidness that Sebastian had seen earlier seems to have all but disappeared.
"No." Sebastian's voice is rough, and he shakes his head. He's not letting anyone back to his apartment. He wants to make it clear that this is just a one time thing. Clearly, that's the wrong answer because Kevin's eyes narrow.
"Fine, then mine," he says, scowling as he steps out and faces Sebastian.
"I'm not fucking you here."
"Then it sucks to be you, doesn't it?" Sebastian snips, doing his best to straighten his shirt.
"Whatever, dude. No need to be an ass about it." Kevin turns on his heel and walks out without another word.
"This is ridiculous." Sebastian leans back in his chair, crossing his legs and rolling his eyes.
"It's not ridiculous. How am I supposed to trust you if you keep going out and doing stuff like that?"
"I didn't do anything that bad. Besides, I fail to see how this is my fault." As he purses his lips, he runs his fingers through his hair, and Kurt snorts bitterly.
"You knewhe liked you. You knew it. But you still went out with him and got drunk."
"Because he's my friend. I'm not the one who kissed him. I don't see what the big deal is!" Sebastian yells, throwing out his hands and giving an exasperated sigh.
"The big deal is that it's cheating, Sebastian." For the first time since they've started fighting, Kurt stops and looks at him. His eyes are wide and pleading. After a moment, Sebastian closes his mouth, his retort fading from his lips. Part of him wants to reach up to Kurt and wrap his arms around him, but it's a matter of pride. Instead, he stays stubbornly fixed on the chair, staring at Kurt.
"It's not. I wasn't the one to kiss him," Sebastian insists.
"You could have stopped him. You could have not gotten drunk with him. You could have done a hundred things. I - I just can't do this right now." Kurt throws his hands up before running them through his hair. His eyes close, and when he opens them, there's a look of dead determination.
As he storms back into their room and there's the sound of the closet door slamming open. He sits, his shoulders slumped over and his eyes closed, knowing what's coming. It's not the first time it's led to this. Sure enough, when the door slams open again, Kurt's holding a small handbag.
"I'm staying at Blaine's."
"Baby..." It's the first time Sebastian's said anything that isn't defensive. "Stay." He moves up behind Kurt, wrapping his arms around him. Immediately, he can feel Kurt relax at his touch. "Stay."
"'Bas..." He sounds like he's wavering, and Sebastian's hands drop slightly lower.
"I'll make you forget all about the fight," Sebastian whispers, pressing his hips against Kurt's ass as his voice turns rougher. His hands slip to Kurt's waist and thighs, and -
"I'm leaving." Apparently it was the wrong thing to do or to say because Kurt's leaving, and there's nothing Sebastian can do but watch. The door shuts behind him, and even though the click is light and quiet, Sebastian still flinches.
He'll be back tomorrow. Sebastian knows it.
The walk back to his house is slow. Outside, the air is cold, and Sebastian's arm curl in defensively on himself. His fingers run up and down in a vain attempt to warm himself up, and instead his teeth chatter. It's colder than it should be for May, but it's also two in the morning and he has short sleeves on.
The world seems to sway from side to side a bit, and Sebastian pauses, pinching the bridge of his nose before continuing to stumble his way back home. He's practically memorized the path home from the bar by now.
A car passes by, and it's quiet again. Sebastian sighs, finally giving up the battle against the cold and simply stuffing his hands inside his pockets. His posture is awkward and half bent forward. He makes it back like that, fishing his keys out of his pocket once he gets to his apartment.
It takes a moment, and he stares at the few he has on the key chain before finally separating the right one. Of course, they immediately slip from his hands. "Shit." Sebastian bends down to pick them up before wiggling the key inside the lock and opening the door. It creaks, and he stumbles inside the building.
An automatic light turns on, flickering for a moment before steadying itself, and Sebastian runs up the stairs as fast and as well as he can. His apartment's luckily only on the second floor, but he's still winded when he gets there.
Again, he has to fumble with his keys before he finds the right one and opens the door. Sebastian swallows thickly, making his way inside and slamming the door shut. His room is chilly as well, and he grabs a blanket off of a chair before sitting at the edge of the bed.
Blankly, he stares ahead of him. A picture of him and Kurt sits on his dresser. They'd been kissing right before his friend had come to take the picture, and they hastily separated, though their arms remained wound around each other, and they laughed at the camera. They'd been so surprised by it that neither of them were exactly posed.
Sebastian sighed, tugging the blanket more tightly around himself.
"I can't do this anymore."
"What do you mean?" Sebastian asks, staring up at Kurt. He swallows thickly, his hands clenching and unclenching by his side.
"I mean, we're working. We're not going to work."
"I don't understand what you're saying." There's a slight hysteria in his voice as he stares at Kurt with wide eyes. "I don't -" After a moment, his jaw sets, and he reaches out, grabbing Kurt's arm. "We can try to make it work."
"We have tried, 'Bas. That's the problem." Kurt's look is nearly apologetic as he turns around. Sighing, he reaches out, running his fingers through Sebastian's hair once before pulling away.
"You can't leave. Don't." Sebastian moves up, his arms moving out as he turns Kurt around. He draws Kurt in closely, his head burying against his shoulder as he clings to him. "Please..." Kurt carefully slips out of Sebastian's grip before moving over to the dresser.
"I'm sorry." Kurt's hands rest on it, running up and down the flat surface as he stares down at it.
"If you were sorry you wouldn't be fucking leaving!" Sebastian yells. Kurt's left before for days at a time. He's threatened to leave for good, but Sebastian had never thought he meant it. But now as Kurt tugs two suitcases out from the closet and begins grabbing all of his clothes and stuffing them in.
"It's not. It doesn't have to be over." Sebastian sounds like a broken record, and his voice is choking up.
"It's been over. It's been over for months now. We've just been dragging it out." Kurt says, stopping what he's doing for a moment to look over at Sebastian. He steps over and places a kiss on to of Sebastian's head. "I love you. Sebastian opens his mouth, but before he can argue anything, Kurt continues. "I love you, but it's time to let go before we completely destroy each other."
"Kurt..." Kurt's name comes out softly from Sebastian's lips, and he looks up, his eyes prickling as tears finally break through. Kurt cups his cheeks, staring down at him and smiling sadly before taking a step back. He twists the promise ring off of his finger and drops it into Sebastian's lap.
Sebastian watches numbly, perched at the edge of the bed, as Kurt turns back to his suitcase and continues to pack. This time when the door clicks behind him, Sebastian has no doubt that he's left for good.