I'm very sorry everyone for how long it took me to get this chapters out. I promise I'll try to update a bit more regularly. I think this story is moving toward the end now, which is pretty amazing for me because I've never written a story with more than one chapter. Anyway Push is not mine, blah, blah, blah.


20. February 2011

I wake up startled, a wave of disappointment washing over me as I realize that it was just a dream. Just a dream. Not surprising really, I've been dreaming of him so often, the feeling of disappointment actually feels familiar.

I sit up in bed and run my fingers through my hair which is ruffled from sleep.

The room I'm in is dark, but I don't need to see it to know that I'm in some cheap motel room, like the counter less ones I've been in before.

I get up, without bothering to switch on the lights and make my way to the bathroom, I turn on the tap and throw some cold water on my face, hoping it'll drive away the stupid dream. I look at myself in the mirror, and realize that I look tired, I haven't been sleeping much lately, whenever I manage to fall asleep something will wake me up; a dream, a vision, it's always one or the other. Sometimes it's hard to tell dreams and visions apart.

I walk back in the room and climb on the bed, determined to sleep for a few more hours. I try to pull the blankets back on top of me, the heater in this place is obviously as cheap as the room is… and then I realize that there is something stopping me from pulling the blankets. For the first time I realize that there is a sound of heavy breathing, and it's not coming from me.

I lift my hand up to my forehead, gently rubbing my temple as I try to think of whether I went out last night and exactly how much alcohol I drank. I feel lacking. Lacking as in I lack a headache and the usual feeling of nausea and I'm lacking my bloody memories. Well hell.

What happened last night? Feeling a bit scared of the answer I lean sideways on the bed, reaching for the lamp switch.

As the light throws a soft glow around the room, just light enough to enable me to see I turn around to look at the person next to me and I can't help the screech that comes out of me.

21. February 2011

This has to be by far the most awkward situation I've ever been in. I don't think I like it.

We are at a coffee place, he has a cup of coffee in front of him, I have a cup of hot chocolate. Neither one of us are drinking it. Or doing anything else really.

We are just sitting there, on opposite sides of the table, staring at each other, my eyes are slightly widened, his are narrowed, and that's all we've been doing for the past half an hour. Watching each other.

When I decide I can't take his eyes on me like that anymore I get up, thinking of the restroom as an excuse, but before I can even say it, he's already leaning forward, hand grasping my wrist.

"Where are you going?" his eyes are narrowed into slits now. Huh.

"Ladies" I answer shortly.

He doesn't remove his hand.

"Are you going to let go?" I arch an eyebrow at him. He doesn't miss a beat.

"Are you going to come back?"

"I'm not going to sneak out of the closest door or window, if that's what you're asking."

He watches me for a few more second before slowly taking his hand away from my wrist.

I pull away, looking at him oddly, before swiftly walking towards the loo.

Once in there I lock the door, not caring if someone wants to come in or not, and I stand in front of the mirror, looking at my own reflection, and thankfully finding that my eyes have gone back to their normal size.

I still look tired and I know the first thing I'll be doing once I get back to the hotel room is fall into bed and sleep for the next twenty hours or something.

Talking about sleeping, I can't help but think about when I woke up this morning.

I'm 100% sure the noise I just made was enough to wake up everybody in the motel. It sure as Hell was loud enough to wake up the man sleeping, who jumped two feet in the air and then fell out of bed. If I wasn't so freaked out right now, I probably would've been doubled over in laughter.

"Cassie? What the hell? What's wrong?" he asked once he lifted himself off the ground.

"What's wrong?!" I screeched.

"You- you're- here! Why?!"

"Uh" he looks at me confused.

"You brought me here?" It sounds like a question.

"I did?" It was my turn now to be confused.

"Yeah, you know after we ran for our lives yesterday?" He is a bit calmer now, I can tell, but I'm not, because that would mean… that would mean my dream was true? It actually happened? Goddamnit. I knew I was going crazy, and now I can't even tell the difference between dreams and reality. Fan-tastic.

"Ughh" I groan aloud as I plop myself back down on the bed.

"You could be a little happier to see me you know? It's been three years kid."

Four, I want to correct him. Instead I send him a glare.

"Can you ever keep yourself out of trouble?" I snap at him.

He sends me that cheeky grin of his, the one that probably gets him out of a lot of trouble (unless it involves Division of course) and causes me to grit my teeth soundly.

"Don't really need to when you're around, do I?" He teases.

"Not sure if you've noticed, but I haven't exactly been around"

Funny how suddenly his mood changes.

"Yeah. I've noticed." he says darkly.

There's an awkward pause.

"You hungry? We should go get something to eat."

I give him a disbelieving look, before re-directing my gaze to the clock on the wall. It's nearly ten already. With how tired I'm feeling right now it could still be 3am in the morning.

I look back at Nick to find he'd been watching me already. It makes me strangely uneasy, and for a moment a consider just picking up my bag and leaving before this whole situation blows up in my face.

"Cassie?" he snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Fine" I grumble.

Fifteen minutes later, we are here sitting in front of each other and it's then that the situation sinks in. This is not a dream; not a vision and Nick Grant - my companion of long ago - really is sitting across from me, watching me with alert eyes, as if waiting for the moment I'll start running.

And it all catches up to me.

I'm staring at my reflection once again, the familiar blue eyes looking back at me.

I decide I should probably get back to Nick, before he has some sort of conniption, which wouldn't surprise me if I Saw it happening.

I walk lazily back out of the loo and go towards the counter, where a girl, maybe a couple of years older than me is serving Nick.

I ask her for a coke and a chocolate muffin and she shoots me a dirty look, probably for taking her attention away from Nick.

I unsuccessfully try to hide my amusement.

"There you go" She practically shoves the stuff at me before turning her flirty eyes back on Nick who (poor thing) looks very uncomfortable.

His eyes meet mine for a second and I can't help but grin at his helpless and desperate look. Full of wonder at how much of a good person I've turned into overnight (yeah, right) I decide to help him out.

I clear my throat loudly to get her attention, and she whips around snapping a "What!" towards me. Ah, nothing better than friendly service.

"You forgot to tell me the price" I smirk, amusement full on showing now.

She looks down confusedly at the stuff she pretty much just gave me for free, mutters the price to me, cheeks burning in embarrassment. I drop the money on the counter and turn to Nick, who has a slightly relieved expression on his face.

"Shall we Nick?" I ask him, to which he nods quickly and starts up in the direction of the door, walking slowly, waiting for me.

"Oh and by the way" I look over my shoulder back at the girl - Darcy - her nametag says.

"Next time, don't be so desperate, it's very unattractive" I say dryly, before catching up with Nick who obviously heard what I said and is trying to give me a stern look even though his lips are twitching.

"No need to be so rude" he mutters to me as we walk out.

"What!" I cry out in mock astonishment.

"I was just giving her some friendly advice!"

This time, he laughs, throwing his arm over my shoulder as we walk on.