Santana smiled over at Rachel, who was eating a hot dog. Talk about knowing your audience, she thought, glancing back at the maternity store. "You good, Hot Mama?" she asked.
"Fine now. Talk about knowing your audience. Whoever thought to put a snack bar in the maternity store deserves a Nobel Prize. All the Nobel Prizes."
Santana laughed as they got into their car.
"I don't want to go home yet," Rachel pouted. "Let's go see a movie! That one with Ashton Kutcher and Daniel Radcliffe is out."
"We have to get ready for dinner with Quinn, remember?"
"Don't worry," Santana said. "We can go see a movie tomorrow."
As they drove into their neighborhood, Rachel spotted balloons tied to the stop signs. "Looks like someone's having a birthday party."
"Yeah. Maybe it's Dennis the Menace from down the street."
"I don't see why you don't like—oh my god!" she squeaked as Santana turned onto their street.
"Surprise, babe," Santana said, pulling up to their house.
All of their friends were standing outside, holding an enormous "Welcome PezBerry Babies!" banner. Well, most of them were holding the banner. They'd apparently given Dave and Blaine "Epic Balloon Duty". Seriously, it looked like they were about to film a low budget remake of Up.
"You guys!" Rachel squealed, squeezing out of the car. She waddled over to Mercedes first. "How did you even do this without me knowing?"
"Your girl is a crafty bitch, that's how," Mercedes answered, laughing.
"I may have threatened a few people at gun point," Santana said. "But look how nice everything turned out. Plus I had mad help from Quinn. By the way, thanks Q."
"Not a problem. Now let's get inside—I have games and stuff."
"Quiet, Santana!" Rachel said. "This is adorable."
"Looking at a melted chocolate bar in a diaper and trying to figure out which candy it is, is adorable? Seriously, who comes up with these baby shower games?"
"Get used to this, Santana," Kurt said. "In another week or so, you'll be looking at the real thing."
"Yeah, but it'll be cute because it's our kids'."
There was a loud collection of "Awwwws", accompanied by retching sounds from Puck, Quinn and Dave.
"God, she's gone soft," Quinn lamented to Brittany.
"Hey, hey! No one's gone soft. Anything our kids do will be precious and badass, since they come from Precious and Badass," Santana explained, indicating herself and Rachel.
"I'm pretty sure mine's a Milky Way," Sam said. He'd been studying the chocolate for a good five minutes.
"Oh, honey," Mercedes said.
Rachel burst into tears and hugged Quinn when they brought the cake out. Though Santana was keeping mum on the exact design of the nursery, Rachel had picked out the color scheme. They'd gone with brown and green ("Chocolate and mint, Santana!" Rachel would huff), to keep it gender neutral. The cake matched the colors perfectly, with two bassinets on top. It read "We Can't Wait to Meet You!" on the second tier. "It's so adorable and perfect!" she sobbed.
"Rachel, sweetie, come on," Quinn said, trying to pry the formerly tiny diva off of her. "Let's get a picture of you and Santana standing by it."
After Quinn had exhausted at least six memory cards, she allowed Santana to cut the cake. "No shit! It's even polka dotted inside!"
"I got mad skills," Tina chimed in.
"Ready for your last present?" Santana asked after everyone had left for the evening.
"Another one? You're going to spoil me," Rachel teased.
"This was an absolute necessity."
"That's what you said about the temperature test rubber ducky, the baby cry analyzer and the toddler urinal."
"Only the best for my twinzies! Now, close your eyes."
Rachel quirked an eyebrow. Then she grinned and complied. They were standing outside of the nursery. "Okay."
Santana guided her into the middle of the room. "Okay, open."
Rachel gasped. "It's adorable!" she squeaked, hugging Santana.
"You like it?" the younger woman asked, clearly relieved.
"I thought a story book room would be good since we wanted to keep it gender neutral. Quinn wanted to go all out with Winnie the Pooh, but I made her add some variety. Mostly because I wanted to justify the Quidditch mobile over the crib."
"And I know the rocking chair doesn't really match, but it was the only one they had—"
"And the changing table was on back order, but it's coming in the mai—"
"Sorry, what?" she asked, mid-ramble.
"I think I'm in labor."
"WHERE THE FUCK IS QUINN?"
"Jesus…" Santana whimpered. She had no idea how Rachel's grip had intensified by a million so fast. She'd just had to open a jar of pickles for her the night before.
"Who's Quinn?" one of the nurses muttered.
"Our friend and her yoga partner," Santana explained.
"She's supposed to be here to keep me calm," Rachel whined.
"I thought that was my job," Santana said without thinking. She immediately regretted it.
"YOU DID THIS TO ME!"
"Easy, Ray," a calm voice said. Quinn walked in wearing scrubs. "Sorry I'm late—I was halfway back to Albany when you called. How long until the first Glee babies make their appearance?"
"Not long now," the doctor said.
Cristobal Blaine Lopez and Lucy Ariel Lopez made their grand entrance on April 14th at 10:45 and 10:57 p.m., respectively.
"Hmmm?" she asked, bending down to kiss her wife for the 85th time that hour.
"I want seven more."
Santana chuckled. "Let's let these two get a little older before we start trying to form our own personal glee club. Oh, dear god…I just gave you an idea, didn't I."
"Our own personal glee club. I like the sound of that."
"Of course you do."
With the kind of timing that they must have picked up from their diva mommy, both twins started to cry.
"If all of them have lungs like these two, it might just happen," Santana said with a chuckle.