A/N: Halloh guys. This is the first thing I've ever written (aside from school papers and stuff) so please feel free to review. Negative reviews, positive, anything :DDD Credits to my cousin (her username on fanfic is Room 105. Try reading her stuff, too XD) for the ideas and inspiration and to my sister for correcting my grammatical errors :3 Sorry if they're a bit OOC. Remember, reviews are loved (good or bad).
DISCLAIMER: Kaichou Wa Maid Sama is not owned by moi. Darn.
Snow silently fell outside. The atmosphere was tense, the silence unbroken aside from the sound of muffled footsteps.
She stared straight ahead, her brown eyes void of expression. She seemed to be looking at nothing, lost in her thoughts. Her hands were clenched on to the blanket draped around her, covering her torn clothes, scratches, and soon-to-be bruises. Her black hair still felt damp and the color didn't seem to be returning to her face. She had tried to take a sip from the hot chocolate prepared for her. It didn't help her stop quivering.
He paced slowly across the room, one hand on his forehead, brows furrowed, and eyes shut tight in frustration. If he was worried in any way, he did not show it. He didn't know how to begin to make her realize the danger of what she'd done. He didn't even know if it would make a difference. There would be moments when he'd stop and open his mouth as if to begin to say something, but each time, he'd thought better of it. He'd shake his head, furrow his brows even more, and murmur to himself.
The silence remained unbroken.
Finally, he let out a groan and sank to the ground. He ran both hands through his blonde hair turned almost black in the dim light of his apartment. He slowly turned to face her, his green eyes trying meeting her brown ones.
The first word spoken since they had arrived in his apartment.
"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Usui struggled to keep his composure and not raise his voice.
Misaki looked up at Usui, shocked at his use of words. She couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze, not when his normally kind, green eyes were now ablaze with anger, betraying his calm voice. Not once since they had met did she ever hear him swear. Instead of answering the question, she found herself shaking even harder. Her hands were clenching even tighter onto the blanket now. Her nails dug into the palms of her hands and her knuckles were white. The blood seemed to have stop flowing a few minutes ago. Her mouth refused to cooperate and allow her to stutter a single syllable, much less a full explanation. And even if she were able to speak, it wouldn't have mattered. The blonde showed no intention of listening.
"Because I really have no clue whatsoever of what you were trying to do." He spoke slowly, trying to choose his words carefully.
He would not lose his composure.
"Were you trying to prove something? I know-no, everyone knows what you are capable of doing." Usui was standing now, his voice slowly rising with every word he spoke.
He would not lose his composure.
"You're stronger than probably all the guys in Seika High, you can swim better than anyone I know, you're a master of Aikido, and you are probably the first person I've seen who can break through handcuffs without any effort. So what in the world were you trying to do? " He found his fists clenched. Opening, closing. Clenched.
He would not. lose. his composure.
"Does it occur to you what could've happened? Do you realize that right now, you could be dead? Didn't you even think of what would happen to your mother and Suzuna if anything had happened to you? Of all the things you've done, this has probably been the worst, most reckless, most stupid of them all. " Usui was practically shouting now.
He would not-
Usui slammed both his hands on the table. Misaki was forced to look into his eyes.
"You're always doing things like this. Why do you do this to me? Why is it that every time, you put yourself in danger? Why do you always have to get hurt? You're always doing these reckless things, always jumping into trouble. You can't always do everything! It's not always up to you to handle every situation, to accept every challenge or to keep doing this to yourself! Don't you understand?"
He leaned in closer to her face.
"I won't always be around to save you, Ayuzawa."
This side of Usui was one that Misaki had never seen before. He had his fists clenched and his teeth gritted. She looked into his eyes now, wanting to see the side of him that didn't talk this way, that never raised his voice. She stared hard, but found she couldn't hold his gaze. His eyes seemed to belong to a completely different person. Instead she averted her gaze to the cup of hot chocolate that had long since gone cold. Cold. She no longer felt as cold as she was before, but she found her fists still clenched and shaking on her lap.
This is pointless, Misaki thought to herself. I've been living my life this way for so long, even before you came into it. She looked at Usui once more. I don't need saving. Not from you, not from anyone.
Usui lifted his hands from the table and didn't try to hide his surprise when he saw Misaki finally look down at her hands, looking submissive.
He couldn't help but smile. She still never fails to surprise me. Just when I think she's ready to attack me, she backs down. I'm really glad her stubbornness didn't get the best of her and-"
"I'm going home," Misaki suddenly announced as she stood up. She looked at Usui, her deep brown eyes cold and angry. "I don't need any saving." His eyes suddenly grew round in shock. "Thank you for your kindness and hospitality," she continued coldly as she turned and headed towards the door.
Usui was still in shock when he heard the doorknob turning. His shock suddenly turned into frustration and anger.
Before Misaki knew what was happening, she heard a banging noise and found herself pinned against the wall, facing Usui.
"AYUZAWA NO BAKA!" he shouted at her.
She could hear each heavy breath he took. It was a while before she realized that her own eyes were shut tight. She opened them to find another set of eyes glaring at her own, boring holes into her. His hands were curled up into fists above her head, clenched tight. He didn't seem to notice the blood trickling out of his fresh wounds from slamming his fists against the wall. His shoulders shook with every breath he took. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to recompose himself. Don't lose your composure.
"Dammit Ayuzawa," he said into her ear "when are you ever going to listen?" He sighed, wondering why he still expected an answer to that question.
It seemed an eternity before either of them spoke again.
"Why did you jump into the river, Ayuzawa?"
Misaki slowly sunk to the floor, her head looking down. She was slumped against the wall with her knees up.
"I couldn't lose it."
It was barely a whisper. All her anger had gone away. She sounded small and tired, so unlike herself, so fragile and vulnerable. Usui was more confused than shocked, but he said nothing. He pushed himself of off the wall and slowly sat down next to Misaki. He turned to face her, waiting to hear more. He didn't prompt her to say any more than she was ready to say, he merely sat beside her and waited silently, patiently. She bit her bottom lip and her hands gripped a little bit tighter onto her knees.
"I couldn't lose it," she repeated, a little louder this time, but still a whisper. She began to speak slowly.
"I was walking alongside the river and it got cold so I decided to put it on but the wind...th-the wind...it was so strong and all of a sudden it was gone so I chased it because I couldn't lose it and then it was suddenly in the river..I knew it was cold, but I had to! Th-the water was freezing but I didn't care. I almost had it, I could have just reached out and I would've had it, really but I had to stand on the stupid rock...it was so slippery but I didn't care, all I knew was I had to...I was so close...I r-reached out and I could've grabbed it but my foot...it was caught and I slipped and...I don't know what happened, I... I just knew I had to.. I mean, I didn't want to have to lose... But I did and I'm sorry, Usui..and, and-" her voice cracked. She was speaking so fast now and she could hear her voice shaking. She bit down harder on her lip. Misaki closed her eyes and hoped the tears wouldn't come, but they did.
"Ayuzawa-!" Usui looked genuinely concerned for her. He was perplexed. First she was angry, ready to leave, then she was speaking so fast, seeming desperate to get everything out at once. He pulled her into his arms and stroked her limp hair, now unsure of what to do when she was this unstable. After all this was the first time to see her cry. This was a completely Misaki from the proud, confident president. This was a different side of her.
They stayed like that for a moment, Usui giving her time to recover, Misaki cursing herself for letting him see her look weak. She gently pushed herself away from his embrace, blushing, and looked away. She didn't want him to see her like this.
"What," began Usui "could have been so important to you that you'd risk your life for it? Surely it must have bee-"
"The scarf," she interrupted him. Her hands were tense as they rested on the floor, tears threatening to fall again.
"The scarf you gave me... last Christmas." Usui's eyes grew slightly wider
"It was the first gift you'd ever given me, and I didn't want to-" She wasn't able to finish her sentence because she found herself suddenly pulled into a tight embrace. Usui's arms felt warm around her. His eyes were closed and his brows furrowed as he rested his head on her shoulder.
"Baka!" he whispered "All of this happened because of a scarf? You have no idea how scared I was. When I saw you, I... I thought you were dead, Ayuzawa."He grimaced as he thought about what happened earlier that day.
He had been waiting for her to arrive at the park when decided to go for a walk by the river. It was peaceful there. He didn't actually know what he was doing, so he just watched the snow fall, white and pure, unstained by other colors. Just like her, he thought with a smile. He just stood there, watching, waiting, when suddenly, a figure far in the distance disrupted the peace. He could see it was a person who seemed to be running towards the river. He just watched the figure run when suddenly, the person plunged into the water, wading towards a rock in the middle of the river.
"Hey!" he had shouted "Hey, the water's freezing! Get out of there!" The person showed no sign of being able to hear him, which made sense, since he couldn't even see if the person was a boy or a girl from this distance.
He started walking towards the figure which had started climbing on a rock, reaching for something. Usui quickened his pace towards the figure. What is this person trying to do? He looked at his watch, checking for the time, wondering if Misaki was at the park already. When he looked up, the person was gone from the rock. Finally got out, eh. Usui was about to turn around when he saw the same figure in the water, limp and motionless. It looked as if the person was a ragdoll as the current tossed it around. Usui started to sprint towards the body. He was soon in the river, wading towards the body. He didn't care about the freezing temperature, He just needed to get whoever that was out of the river. When he finally was able to drag the body out of the water, he just stood there, frozen, unsure of what to do, unsure if the limp, motionless body sustained any life, unsure of who it would be, and most of all, unsure if he wanted to know who it was. He shook away his fear and tore the hood off the person. He was unprepared to see that face, her face, deathly white and freezing to the touch, her raven black hair stuck to her face, little icicles forming on her lashes.
"Misaki," he breathed, not knowing what to do all of a sudden.
"Misaki, get up. Misaki! Wake up!" He was horrified at the sight, but soon regained his senses and immediately checked her pulse. His lips were soon against her pale ones and were blowing all the air he could have ever blown in his life. He only stopped to gasp for air then he would blow again. His emerald eyes were wild and scared for the first time in so long. He had shouted her name again and again and again, willing her to wake up until finally, her chest started rising and falling. He almost cried. She was alive. Usui then removed her damp jacket and replaced it with his own. He carried her to his apartment, being careful not to touch the growing lump on her head. Slowly, anger and frustration at her recklessness replaced his worry. By the time she had regained consciousness in his apartment and he had provided her with hot chocolate and a blanket, he was fuming.
And now here they were, on the floor of his quiet apartment with Usui's arms wrapped around Misaki. Their emotions seemed to like changing, moving around, playing with them, never staying put.
"Misa-chan," he said, opening his eyes and looking at her. Usui lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him "I can give you all the scarves you wish, anything. All you need to do is ask. You know that"
"Tch. You don't understand, do you?" Misaki pulled her face away from his grip. "A thousand scarves wouldn't be able to replace that, no matter how expensive or how soft. I don't care for any other in the world. That scarf was the first gift you'd ever given me. It was special, even if only to me, because it reminded me of the day we came together. It reminded me of you..of us." She didn't even seem to be talking anymore. Her voice was so hushed, so small and silent. For the hundredth time that night, the blonde was caught off-guard, green eyes wide once again in surprise.
"And now I've injured myself and it's gone. Tch. I'm useless."
Looking at her like this, opening up to him, Usui couldn't suppress a smile.
"First, you imply that you don't need me," he said while moving closer "and then you tell me that you risked your life, to save something that reminded you of me." His forehead was now resting on hers. "What exactly are you trying to say?" He chuckled when her only reply was the red that crept onto her cheeks. "You really are very sly, Ayuzawa," he whispered.
All of a sudden he swooped her up in his arms and started walking towards the couch.
"H-hey! What are you doi-?"
"And as for being useless," he said as he gently lay her down on the couch. Her eyelids were already starting to feel heavy. "Don't you ever say that again. You are anything but useless." He stood up and started walking towards is room.
Misaki blushed even harder. Her eyes finally started to close...
"Though Kaichou," said Usui. He turned around and started walking back to her. "You are pretty useless at pretending to be unconscious." If Misaki had been looking, she would've sen a mischievous spark igniting in Usui's eyes. "But that didn't stop me from performing a mouth-to-mouth on you." Usui was bending over her, his head right above hers. "I know you liked it, didn't you, A-yu-za-wa kai-chou?" he whispered as a teasing grin played across his lips.
Misaki's eyes snapped open as she cowered lower into the couch "N-n-nani? Get away from me! P-p-pervert!" she said without much energy.
Usui merely laughed and sat on the couch which made her cheeks even more red than he would have thought possible. He ruffled her hair and her eyes started to close again. After a minute of silence, Misaki spoke.
"Usui," she murmured guiltily. "the tickets you had given me and my gift for you was in my pocket, and when i went into the river...the current must've swept it away...tch. Neither of us were able to enjoy today because of my recklessness. I'm sorry.."
"Shh. You being here with me is gift enough, Ayuzawa."
Misaki's cheeks grew warmer. "Th-thank you, Usui. For everything. And happy..." her voice trailed off as she finally fell asleep. Usui laughed silently to himself and planted a light kiss on her forehead where the bump was getting smaller.
"Happy Anniversary to you too, Ayuzawa"
Suzuna flipped through her planner, noting where she'd be claiming her prizes today. She started walking downstairs, calculating the time it would take for her to reach the post office if she dropped by the magazine station first, to check if any raffle drawing would be taking place. Oh, but then she'd have to claim her prize downtown first and then do the groceries so that Misaki could rest and then...
By the time she had reached downstairs, she had everything set. "Yosh! Let's go-!"
"Suzuna?" Misaki seemed to be staring at her strangely.
"Ah, Onee-chan, you're back from Usui-kun's. He told Okaasan you'd be staying in his apartment overnight. He also said you hit you're head, but not to worry about it." Suzuna peered at the bruise on Misaki's forehead and the bunch of torn clothes she held in her hand. "If you feel dizzy or anything, you can just rest. I'll be out the whole day today, and so will okaasan. You really should rest."
Misaki was still looking at Suzuna with a strange look on her face.
"Onee-chan? Do I look funny?" Misaki shook her head. She was frowning now, but the strange look remained there.
"Where did you get that?" asked Misaki quietly, a shaky finger pointing towards Suzuna's neck.
Suzuna looked down at the scarf she was wearing. "Oh, this? Well, I was walking near the river when I saw this snagged on a rock, so i picked it up and brought it home. It's nothing spectacular, but it really would be a waste if I just left a perfectly good scarf lying around during the winter season," answered Suzuna, clearly puzzled by her sister's sudden interest in her clothes. She was even more puzzled by what she could've sworn were tears in Misaki's eyes.
Misaki shook her head and mumbled to herself, an even stranger look now on her face. Suzuna removed her scarf and handed it to her sister. Clearly it was the cause of Misaki's distress.
"Nee-chan, you can have the scarf if you want it. It's not that cold out anyway. If you're not feeling well, you should rest. I'm going now, so take care, 'kay?"
Misaki held on tightly to the scarf. She was frowning at it and looking dazed, as if she couldn't believe that it was really there. She was nodding slowly but Suzuna doubted she had heard what she said.
Suzuna left, checking her watch to see if she could still catch the bus to the post office. It was no longer snowing, but the cold still bit at her neck. Suzuna worried about her sister. She was acting strange today. That look on her face... it was like Nee-chan was about to cry. Suzuna hurriedly dismissed that thought as the bus pulled up. She sighed and put up her hood when the bus started moving. I guess nee-chan really did hit her head.