Just a quick note to thank you all so much for your reviews/follows/favorites. I was trying to respond personally to each review, but much to my surprise, this story has taken off and I can't keep up anymore! So please know I read every review and they never fail to bring a smile to my face. I never thought this story would keep going for this long, but nothing makes me happier than making others laugh, so as long as you're all still laughing at this along with me, I'll keep writing it! My friend also just bought me the second book so I suppose a whole other installment could be in the wings too...but I definitely think I'll need to get very drunk first before I dive into reading part two. I hear it's worse than part one, which...how is that even possible?! Anyway, thank you again so much and I hope you enjoy the latest chapter! xo

Oh and P.S. - I'm on tumblr if you'd like to follow me there or send me messages: .com is my personal tumblr and .com is the tumblr I made specifically to post this story. I update it the same time I update here, and I prefer the layout here, but if you wanted to see it on tumblr instead there it is.

P.P.S. - A lovely person made fanart based on the story which can be found here: http:/commodore-sparklebutt.tumblr.com/post/28230429989 and another lovely person did a video of a dramatic reading of chapter one which can be found here: http:/www.youtube.com/watch?v=waU9JS98uIk I am beyond flattered by both of these! Thanks ladies!


I've been back in Seattle now for three days and my mind is still reeling from the adventures I had with Christian while on vacation. I thought that what I needed most was time away from him, but after he stalked me and fucked me at an alarming rate of frequency, I became more confused than ever. I can't decide if I want to be rid of him or if I want to hop aboard the BDSM train and ride that shit all night long.

I continue to ponder the details of my insane life as I make my way to my interview for an internship at a very small publishing house that specializes in books about yarn and cats. My two favorite things! Even though Christian insisted on knowing which publishing house it was, presumably so he could pull some strings to get me in because he is a major power player in the giant cutthroat business world of Seattle, the city that never sleeps. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. Concrete jungle where dreams are made of. And Christian has definitely made it, in case you haven't picked up on how successful, rich, and powerful he is based on my previous descriptions. He is like Donald Trump combined with Richard Branson, with a touch of Bill Gates, combined with any random sex addict you can find on Craigslist. He is amazing. Despite how hard it is to get an unpaid internship at a publishing house that does not have any other intern applicants, I decided to turn down his offer. I must do this very tough thing on my own. I am an independent woman! Throw your hands up at me!

I arrive at my interview 10 minutes early, per Kate's advice, and smooth out the skirt I'm wearing. It's part of the most professional outfit I own - a brown ankle length skirt paired with a plain, white button down blouse, and sensible, yet sexy, shoes - the kind nurses wear, with the padded instep for added comfort. I look like I just stepped off a compound full of polygamists. I'm feeling good! Oh la la! my inner goddess thinks. If Christian could see you now! Rwoar!

"Miss Steele? Mr. Jones is ready for you. Please come this way" the receptionist says politely as she leads me to the small and very cluttered office of the publishing house owner.

"Anastasia! Thank you for coming in, please take a seat. So, I have been looking over your resume and I have to say, I am very impressed that you were an English major at school. An internship at a random publishing house is literally the only thing an English degree qualifies you for, so I think you will fit in nicely here. Tell me, how do you feel about cats and yarn?"

After my 20 minute diatribe on how much I love cats and yarn, and in particular, how much I love cats playing with yarn, I knew I impressed Mr. Jones and that the internship was as good as mine.

"Well, as I said, you are very well versed in the world of cats and yarn and cats playing with yarn, so I want to officially welcome you to our team!"

Yes! My inner goddess is doing a karaoke performance of "Sisters Are Doin' it For Themselves." Take that Christian! I can get my own unpaid internship! I'm no whore!

As I leave the interview I am so excited I decide to call Jose to tell him the good news. I have been a horrible friend to him lately, what with never returning his calls or emails because of all the sex I'm having with Christian.


"Jose? Guess what?! I GOT THE INTERNSHIP!"

"Holy guacamole! Dios mio, Ana! I am so proud of you my little enchilada! I can't wait to see you tonight at my photography exhibit so we can celebrate! You're still coming, right?"

Shit. Jose's photography show! I have been so concerned with myself I totally forgot about his big night! I will have to break the news to Christian as to my whereabouts tonight. I don't think he is going to be very happy about it. I bet he will get so angry he'll want to tie me up and fuck me with a giant glass dildo. Oh! Stomach clench alert! I get so turned on at the idea of Christian's pewter eyes flashing with lust as he plunges objects into my pussy that I almost walk directly into traffic. The beeping horns pull me out of my sexual reverie and I remember I am still on the phone with Jose.

"Of course I'll be there, Jose! I'm so proud of you and we both have much to celebrate! See you tonight!"


Later on when I arrive home I decide to send Christian an email to tell him about Jose's photography show.

Email From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Brief interruption to our sex schedule

Date and Time: May 20, 2012; 6:03 PM

Dear Sir,

I do apologize for the last minute change of plans, but because I have been blinded by your penis I forgot to mention that tonight is my friend Jose's photography show and I absolutely must attend. It means so much to him and I want to be there to support him. I know you are probably full of roid rage right now and possibly throwing precious antiquities against the wall while your "Pure Moods" cd plays in the background, but I assure you, there is nothing between Jose and I. Please understand.



Email From: Christian Grey

Subject: Not ok with this.

Date and Time: May 20, 2012; 6:05 PM

I am not pleased, however I do not wish to tell you what you can and cannot do...OH WAIT, YES I DO. THAT IS IN FACT THE EXACT PURPOSE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP AND PRECISELY WHAT I WANT!

I'm sorry for my outburst. I am just so bewildered by your bodacious bod and sex appeal and lack of intellect and I find myself so drawn to you I keep losing my temper. I apologize. Of course you should attend his show tonight. Enjoy. I will most likely be stalking you anyway, so it's not like I can't find you if I want. Ha. Ha. LOL. That was a joke. Such a funny one, right? I am very humorous.

Missing your pussy,


Wow. How do I interpret that?! He got mad, then apologized, then made a HILARIOUS joke. Ugh. He is so complicated. He makes my brain hurt like that time I tried a Sudoku puzzle. Even though I minored in math, that puzzle had me completely frazzled. I should just stick to the crossword puzzles from Highlights magazine from now on. Those are more befitting of my English major status.

I only have 15 minutes to get dressed and be out the door for Jose's show, so I don't have time to dwell on Christian and his fucked up ways. I am borrowing a dress from Kate tonight, and I have to say - it's very racy. Do you remember when Bjork wore that swan dress to the Academy Awards? It's that dress, just a cheaper knock-off. I thought it was perfect for a classy, adult, sophisticated event like a recent college grad's amateur photography exhibit. There will probably be so many players from the art scene there, so I want to look as classy as possible.

I throw on the swan dress, throw my hair up into a messy bun, coat my eyelashes in some black stuff that comes from a tube and smear on my go-to glamourous lipstick - strawberry LipSmackers. To complete the look I step into some heels I borrowed from Kate - clear jelly shoes. I look hot, if I do say so myself. Maybe I should sext a pic to Christian? I decide to pose against one of my bedposts, gripping it like it's a stripper pole. I hold out my phone with one arm to get a good angle and pucker my lips seductively as I snap a pic. Christian is going to get so hard when he sees how hot I look tonight!

I walk out into the living room where Kate and Elliot are making out and clear my throat loudly to announce my entrance into the room.

"Whoo hoo!" Elliot whistles as I spin around to give them a good look at my smokin' body and killer outfit. Kate and I laugh and take Elliot's arms to head out into the night.

"Laters baby!" Elliot says to no one in particular because there is no one left in the apartment, but Kate nevertheless falls over laughing and I can tell this is going to be a good night. I can only imagine what fun lies ahead. This night might even rival my McDonald's sexscapade or my three pixy stix evening from college.