A/N: Plotless porn in a few thousand words? Then again, this is merely toeing the border with the lack of explicit material.

I'll blame this on the immortal lolicon pervert extraordinaire, lolitaa the taamon. Porkos, you're next o_-


A sweet musky fragrance alerted the grievously embarrassed Hitoyoshi Zenkichi's senses, kick-starting his befuddled brain that this was real.

Kami help his sanity.

There, stood in the middle of the shop surrounded by clothing of the most provocative of natures – an allure strong as a siren song tempting his imagination to run wild – Zenkichi could only cry to himself inside: how did things come to this?

And as the question was brought to mind, the answer came just as easily.

Kurokami Medaka.

She was always at the heart of all his troubles.

:.: "Zenkichi." The youngest Kurokami had started with a displeased pout in her tone. Zenkichi reflexively turned towards his childhood love and his face instantly burst into flames at the pert pink twins in full display for him.

"M-M-Me-Medaka-chan!" He shouted before quickly averting his gaze away. "Why aren't you wearing a bra? !"

"It snapped." Medaka stated simply. Her answer didn't address the question of why she was pretty much naked with just her intricately-designed panties and an expectant smile on, but Zenkichi didn't ask that about that having long since grown used to Medaka randomly modeling in her unmentionables on a whim so-

-wait, what did she just say?

The short-haired girl then seemed to preen as she scrutinised hers body from every angle before folding her arms beneath her breasts with a frown.

"They grew." She commented. It didn't take a genius to figure out what she was referring to, especially with the way she was testing the weight of her hypnotic appendages. Zenkichi could feel the burning sensation of her determined gaze boring into him. "I need a new set of bras."

"…Why are you telling me this?"

"Zenkichi," Medaka then began in a knowing tone, and he felt her presence draw near. "I'm sure you know that Victoria's Secret was originally constructed for men to buy undergarments for women without being seen." - actually, he didn't. Score another one for Medaka-chan's Kurokami Medaka-ness - "I realize times have changed since then, but-"

He shivered slightly when her breath tickled his neck. With a devil's touch, Medaka tempted his eyes towards her own.

"-won't you come help me pick a couple?" :.:

Thus, Zenkichi found himself waiting in the middle of a sea of bras, panties, bikinis, and everything of the like. His face was flushed red and he made it a point to ignore the eyes of everyone around him. Being the only male present in such a specialty shop had earned him more than a few stares.

Zenkichi snapped himself out of his recollection when the curtains suddenly drew-

His eyes widened.

"How does this look, Hitoyoshi-kun?"

-to reveal a blushing Emukae Mukae in nothing but a sinfully red strapless bra and low cut panties of equal hue and intricacy that teased the barest of her porcelain skin to his reflexively hypnotised eyes. The flush Mukae wore only added to the eroticism of the sight, and Zenkichi felt himself begin to sweat even more nervously.

His heart threatened to burst when she shyly- but determinedly- continued, "It feels a bit odd around my hips," she held the hem between both fingers and ever-so-slightly pulled, as if to punctuate her statement. The truth behind Mukae's innocent smile was betrayed by the embarrassed flush on her cheeks. "But I think it looks nice. Don't you?"

Zenkichi swallowed the lump that lodged in his throat. "It looks amazing, Emukae." Too amazing, even.

Mukae flashed him a brilliant smile. "I'm glad! I'll be getting this, then!" And she turned around, baring the sight of the deep-v the straps of her bra formed as they sat just under her delicious wings covering her lower back and, more provocatively, the skin of her firm lower cheeks beneath the lacy rim for his eyes only to see.

Zenkichi felt he could have died right then and there as he warred within himself what was proper and what felt right.

Smiling secretly to herself at his honest reaction, Mukae shouted back at him happily, "I'll be out soon!"

"A-alright-!"

Mind reeling from what should be a very intimate exposure, Zenkichi placed a hand on his heart and willed it to cease its rampant racing.

"C'mon, Zenkichi." He encouraged himself. "Keep it together."

"How audacious, Zenkichi-kun." Another curtain drew open at the teasing remark. "Your eyes do wander, don't they?"

Zenkichi's eyes shut and jaw tightened before he sighed in resignation. He faced the brunette and admonished her in an accusing tone. "This is all your fault, Anshin'in-san." He scratched the back of his head and opened one eye. "And I can't very well lie… to…"

He blinked.

Oh, Kami.

That shouldn't be legal!

Najimi stared at him blankly before her lips curled into a smirk. "Oh you flatterer~!"

If he was an anime character, then he would have already been knocked out from a nosebleed of epic proportions.

How the hell did he end up in this position?

:.: "Ara, Zenkichi-kun. Medaka-chan." The aforementioned pair turned to the caller. "What a coincidence."

Seeing the insincere smile on Najimi's face only served to draw Zenkichi's suspicions that this was anything but a coincidence, and though Medaka seemed to share her partner's same sentiments, she nonetheless offered the Not Equal a friendly greeting.

"Anshin'in-san, I didn't expect to see you in a shopping mall."

Shooting Medaka a wry smile – was that a pinch of distaste in her voice?- Zenkichi turned smirked. "Are you buying stuff, as well?"

"Killing time, mostly, though…" Najimi took a step next to them and twirled slightly, shooting a coy look at the couple from the corner of her eyes. "…now that you mention it, I may be in need of some effects."

"Well, we shouldn't be keeping you from what you've set out to do, Anshin'in-san." Surprisingly, this was Medaka speaking as she grabbed Zenkichi's arm and inconspicuously pulled him closer to her side. "We'll leave you to it, then. Let's go, Zenkichi."

It only took Medaka several steps forward before she snapped around and placed a hand on her shapely hips; Najimi was following them. "Are you heading in the same direction, Anshin'in-san?"

Najimi nodded her head. "I seem to be in need of new lingerie."

"…Oh." Zenkichi blinked.

"I-I see…" Medaka commented with the slightest hint of a strained smile tugging at her cheeks.

The brunette nodded to herself before flashing the pair an unreadable grin.

"So,-" The Not Equal dealt the coup de grâce. "-where are you two off to?" And then she blinked, spotting a familiar flash of pink hair behind the pair. "Ara, isn't that Mukae-chan?"

As Mukae was called over to join the group, Zenkichi didn't notice the dark shadow cast over Medaka's eyes. :.:

"Th-that's not even decent, Anshin'in-san!" Zenkichi swiftly swiveled around.

Najimi lowered her arms from where they rested above her previously, and pushed herself off the wall of the cubicle she had been leaning against when she gave Zenkichi a most unforgettable view of her side.

"Ara, but this is a exactly what I was looking for, Zenkichi-kun."

With Naze-sempai's special training, Zenkichi managed to sidestep the Not Equal's playful advance solely based on hearing her words. Najimi pouted at his reaction when her arms encircled nothing but air.

The brunette sighed uncaringly before placing her hands behind her nearly completely bare backside and peered up at him. Zenkichi flushed at her display and willed his eyes to stray no lower than her lips; that neckline indeed took the plunge. Though she watched him with her usual apathy, somehow, with the clothing she wore – if it could even be called clothing -, Najimi looked every part the flirty seductress in his eyes.

This was just raining havok on his self-control.

"So, Zenkichi-kun?" Najimi prompted. "Tell me the truth."

"An answer first." He pressed his eyes shut. This- this was actually hard. "Why are you doing this?"

Najimi smiled up at him placidly, wordlessly willing him to open his eyes and feast. "Doing what, Zenkichi-kun?"

Zenkichi's jaw tightened. "Posing in front of me. You don't need me here, Anshin'in-san."

"Ara," She drew herself back to let him breathe. "That is true. But things are more fun, this way." Especially with you around.

"Not for me." He retorted gruffly.

"You're much too early to be lying to me, Zenkichi-kun." Her voice was as melodic as it was self-assured. Nevertheless, Najimi knew she couldn't push the young man too much. Yet. "But oh, very well. I shall leave you be."

She turned back to her cubicle to change.

"Anshin'in-san," Zenkichi called.

Najimi was mildly surprised that all traces of embarrassment was washed out of his features as he gave her an approving grin.

"That really looks beautiful on you."

"Quite." Najimi nodded.

Zenkichi exhaled deeply when the Not Equal disappeared back into her curtains, only to suddenly freeze when Medaka called.

"Zenkichi." Medaka's blue-haired head peeked out from the curtains that hid the rest of her body from view.

A wry smirk formed on his lips as he walked forward.

It was time to get this over with.

"What is it, Medaka-"

She pulled him inside.

"-chan." Zenkichi blinked when the curtains shut behind him. "-e-eh-UMPH? !"

"Quiet, Zenkichi." Medaka chided as she covered his mouth with her palm while her other hand held him in place. "Don't act so shocked. It's nothing you haven't seen before."

On the contrary, his eyes were currently fed the front and back – thanks to the full-body mirror – of a sight he hasn't seen before: Kurokami Medaka in what should be an illegal bikini combo.

"Mmph-mh!" Zenkichi protested against her hand.

Medaka shook her head. "Only if you behave, Zenkichi."

"Hrmm-mmph. Mmmph!"

"Please, Zenkichi." She chided. "Do this for me."

"…" Zenkichi locked eyes with the youngest Kurokami. Seeing the plea in her crimson eyes caused his own blues to shut and he nodded. "Mhmph."

"Thank you." She told him curtly before she released him.

Medaka then took a step back before placing herself in full display for Zenkichi to see, throwing her hands above her head while intentionally shielding one eye with her hair. In that very instant, Medaka became the very definition of a bombshell- and she knew it.

She flashed him a sultry smile. "Well, Zenkichi?" she asked him expectantly.

Zenkichi… blinked. "You look beautiful, Medaka-chan."

Indeed, Kurokami Medaka really did not have a body to be embarrassed of. In fact, Kurokami Medaka could be covered in the most rotten of filth and sludge, and still she would be the most beautiful woman you could ever lay your eyes upon, of this Zenkichi had very, very little doubt.

But.

Seconds passed as Medaka waited confidently for Zenkichi to react. If Najimi and Mukae could instill such passionate reactions from her childhood love, surely she could make his gaze cloud even thicker?

And so she waited.

Zenkichi nodded his head and reiterated. "You're very beautiful, Medaka-chan. That ah-erm-" He coughed against his fist. "-combination really compliments you well."

Medaka frowned. "Are you sure?"

He nodded his head. "Yup."

Medaka's pose relaxed and her confidence gave way to sudden hesitancy. "This is not right." She muttered to herself so low that Zenkichi barely picked it up. "Is this it?"

"Medaka-chan?" Zenkichi tried to grab her attention.

"A different attire!"

Her sudden shout almost caused Zenkichi to stumble outside of the cubicle they were hidden in. "Wha-?"

Medaka was naked within record time before she immediately tried on an even more provocative set.

Zenkichi was red with embarrassment in record time at the unexpectedness.

"What about this, Zenkichi?" Medaka struck yet another pose, this time going for a demure look with her arms folded behind her, giving Zenkichi a very gracious view of her very ample chest. "Well?"

"It's… sexy. Very, very sexy." He admitted.

Medaka pursed her lips at the reply. "No! It's still not enough!"

Seeing where this was going, Zenkichi quickly grabbed her wrists before she could unclothe herself once more. "Medaka-chan! Stop!"

Medaka looked livid when their eyes finally met. "What is it, Zenkichi? Isn't this what you like? What should I wear?"

As Zenkichi stared into her determined eyes, glistening with emotion, he finally understood why exactly Medaka had brought him here - to this shop – with her. And he couldn't help but chuckle at the sheer normalcy of this all.

Really, this girl…

Still, he really needed to get a hang of this dating thing.

"Medaka-chan," He slowly began, and smiled patiently at the rapt attention she gave his every syllable. "You don't have to force yourself to dress up to my liking."

Medaka blinked up at him before her brows creased. "Why not? Wouldn't you like me more if I tailored my clothing to your preferences?"

Zenkichi shot her a funny smile. "I don't think it's possible for anybody – even myself – to love you any more than I do now."

Medaka's cheeks suddenly flushed at his proclamation, but her eyes remained questioning. "No, that's not right. You reacted more strongly to Anshin'in-san and Emukae-san."

This time, Zenkichi caught the darkness in her pout.

"That's not it, Medaka-chan. I mean, yeah, Anshin'in-san and Emukae were stunning wearing their choice, but that doesn't mean you were any less so."

"But-" She began to protest.

"You don't need to worry, Medaka-chan. I'll never leave your side."

Zenkichi understood Medaka's worry. He was just a normal guy, after all. He had normal guy tendencies. She was worried that he could be tempted, as neither Emukae nor Najimi were unpleasant to the eyes. Medaka was afraid that his eyes may stray away from her.

The emotions swirling inside of her buxom frame were just so human. Worry. Jealousy.

He smiled before pulling her into a warm, assuring hug. "Just wear whatever you want, Medaka-chan. I doubt anything you do could ever make me love you any less."

Caught in his sincere embrace, Medaka's arms found themselves around his waist. She breathed in his scent, savouring the slight musk that was her childhood love.

"…Zenkichi." She started. Zenkichi drew back with a curious look at the somberness in her tone. "Sorry. Anshin'in-san and Emukae-san just got to me."

Zenkichi smiled at her wryly. "You know, Medaka-chan," he began reassuringly, "Anshin'in-san isn't serious. You know how she's like. And Emukae…" Zenkichi gaze looked so far away to the youngest Kurokami. "…she'll lose interest in me, soon."

Medaka inwardly thought about how wrong Zenkichi was with that statement, but she decided to let it slide. She was quite happy with where she was at the moment, and so she could only softly retort, "You're just too kind, Zenkichi." That's not necessarily a good thing…

"Thanks. I guess." Zenkichi felt Medaka unwrap her arms from him and he knew it was his cue to disentangle himself. He flashed her a cocky smirk. "I guess that's sorted, right?"

Medaka shook her head.

"Not completely. I'm still in need of a new set of underwear." Medaka pointed out unabashedly, and Zenkichi groaned. She smiled at him brilliantly before she declared, "Zenkichi, you may not know that a lot of women love you, but I want you to always keep this in mind: I love you the most!"

Though not quite understanding exactly what Medaka meant about other women that loved him, Zenkichi still flashed her a happy smile at her confession. At least, that is until she continued,

"Now! Which among these do you prefer the most?"

As Zenkichi was once more swept in to Kurokami Medaka's pace, he couldn't help but think that, despite all his complaints, he actually was enjoying Medaka's company.

…Even if he was in for a long cold shower that night.

Unbeknownst to the blond teen, both Ajimu Najimi and Emukae Mukae knew that they had to step up their game.


A/N: How did this start? I was casually informed of the origin of Victoria's Secret, and I remembered promising Randrak a jealous Medaka~

I've depicted Mukae as the sweet-and-determined lover, while Najimi the flirtatious is-she-really-serious? type. Medaka's hopefully still Medaka, while Zenkichi is well-meaning but clueless as ever. Of course, the obvious suspension of disbelief here is the lack of a Victoria's Secret in Japan…

Anyways, news on me: I'm very busy at the moment, but I will try to get my updates down. I appreciate everyone's unexpected support; I thought this fandom would be deader than this. Reading everyone's reviews spurs me to continue writing. So, thanks for your patience and support! Many thanks to Ihklan The Unpronounceable as well for keeping in touch :)

Now I'm gonna sleep. It has been an extremely long two months for me, and my blue sky isn't coming for another year.

'Til next time! Hurrah~!