Ch. 1 Forgive and Forget
I sat crying in my room as the dreaded words played through my head. I hooked up with somebody. It's been a few weeks since this happened, but I can't stop thinking about it. I have barely left my room. Now, that school's out, I don't have to leave. I remembered the fear and anger that I felt when he told me. Of course, he chose the perfect timing to tell me. I won't forgive him for this. I can't forgive him for this. The one solid thing in my life is gone. I got pulled out of my thoughts when my phone went off. Him. Great, fantastic. I would rather talk to a serial killer about my upcoming death than to him right now.
Please, Bay. Just talk to me. It read. How pathetic. I could barely look at the words on my screen. No reply, as usual.
It was a mistake. Just give me a chance to explain. Nothing.
My head wasn't on right. I am so sorry. Finally, just because I was so annoyed I replied.
I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone.
I need to talk to Daphne. I know, weird but it was true. She and I had become close so I figured I would talk to her, she would understand, or at least give me some advice. I found her downstairs in my kitchen. She saw me and instantly knew something was wrong.
"Hey, are you okay? You've been all depressed for the past few weeks" Then something flickered to her face, it looked like a light bulb just went off. "Emmett told you… about his night with Simone, didn't he?"
She knows! "Wait, you know! You knew this whole time!"
When did she- "Yeah, Wilke told me. That's what I was talking to Emmett about at prom." Splendid.
"Wilke knows too? Did everyone know but me? Does Toby know?"
"Yeah, Simone told Wilke at the video shoot. Well, more like Wilke found out. Yeah, Toby knows. Toby came up to Emmett after he told you and asked him what was wrong. Emmett told him. Toby broke up with Simone soon after. What are you going to do?"
"I don't know. Right now, I'm just so mad that I'm shutting him out. I was so mad at him after he told me that I threw the present he gave me, a helmet with my name on it, into a pond." Truth is, it felt good, powerful, but I regret it a lot.
"I'm sorry. I could talk to him if you want, or try. I don't promise to be nice to him"
"Oh, trust me; I would be mad if you were. You know what the most awful thing about this is? We were head over heels in love. We had our problems, but we were in love…and I still love him" I did, a lot. I missed him so much it hurts. However, those feelings were taken over by anger and hurt, then just depression. This is going to take a while.
*At Emmett's House* Daphne's POV
I knocked on the door. I was surprised it was actually Emmett who answered the door. He looked like he has gotten no sleep and has been crying. "You look like hell", I said jokingly. "How long has it been since you slept?"
Emmett shrugs, obviously not wanting to talk about anything.
"I know you're in an awful place right now, but I can't help but yell at you. You and Bay had this fantastic relationship, in love even, and you throw it away like this? Bay and I are starting to become friends and she is the only one that knows how I feel. You're my best friend, but I'm taking Bay's side on this. She doesn't deserve this."
"I wouldn't doubt it. I'm on Bay's side. Words can't describe how terrible I feel about this. I can't sleep or eat. It's killing me inside knowing that I hurt her that much. I love her… How is she?"
"Sad and pissed. She just sulks around, not leaving her room much."
Emmett nods, expecting that answer. I hate to see them both like this. Should I tell him? I guess the words that fell out of my mouth answered that for me.
"She really misses you, a lot… and she still loves you" Instant regret. Crap.
"She does?" Suddenly, his mood lightens up a bit. Crap again. What did I just do?
"Yes, but you cannot tell her I told you this. She will kill me."
"I have to see her." He runs out the door and leaves on his motorcycle, obviously ignoring what I just said. Bay is going to shoot my head off. Honestly though, they need to be together. Again, seeing them like this is terrible. They need each other, but Bay is not going to forgive him easily. I sighed and headed home, not knowing what was going to happen next.
I pull up to Bay's house feeling determined. It was weird being here knowing that I wasn't with Bay and knowing that whenever I see her I would be able to see her beautiful smile and kiss her soft lips. My thoughts were interrupted when Kathryn walked outside. I don't think she knows what happened because she looks happy to see me. Which was weird considering both of her children were involved in this.
"Oh, hi Emmett! I haven't seen you in a while. " Kathryn signed as she saw me, her happiness turned into confusion.
"Hey, is Bay home?" I signed, slowly, to her. She obviously doesn't know what happened. I thought she would have guessed considering I haven't been here in about 3 weeks.
"Yes, but I don't think she wants to see anyone right now. She's been pretty depressed lately and I don't know why. She won't tell me anything. Maybe you could cheer her up!" Yes, because I 'm the first person she wants to talk to. My sarcastic thoughts just made me think of Bay.
"Doubt it. I'll go talk to her."
I went upstairs, but stopped in front of her door. I didn't know if I could bring myself to knock on her door, but I really wanted to talk to her. I wanted her back so much it hurts. So, here goes nothing.
Sulking in my room and listening to music. It has been my usual routine for the past week. Suddenly, someone is knocking on my door. "Come in!" I shout. Nothing. Must be Daphne. So I go over to open the door to see what she wants. Much to my surprise, it's not Daphne at the door. I haven't seen him since prom night. My heart ached just from looking at him. Holding back the tremendous amount of anger I said, bitterly, of course:
"What do you want?"
"I really need to talk to you. Just give me a chance to explain myself. I made a huge mistake. I completely understand why you are so pissed at me, but just hear me out."
"Okay, I'm going to stop you there. Let me talk first." I had so many things to say to him at that point. As he eagerly, and slightly reluctantly, awaited my response, I sorted out my words.
"What I don't understand is we were in love Emmett. This was the best relationship I ever had. You understood me and I understood you and you go and do something to ruin this? I'm not just pissed, I am beyond pissed. We were both trying so hard to make this relationship work. Also, you had me feeling that I ruined the whole relationship!" I was basically yelling at him. I wanted to just scream and shout my words at him, but I signed because I wanted him to understand how I felt.
"I know and no words can describe how sorry I am." Oh, sure. That's going to make me forgive you. Good job.
"Sorry is not going to cut it." I snapped.
"Please, hear me out"
I gave him a "go ahead but this better be good" type of looks.
"Bay, I know I hurt you. It kills me inside knowing that I hurt you. I can't stress enough that it was a giant mistake that will never, ever happen again. If I could go back in time a change it in any way possible I would. You have to understand that I wasn't thinking clearly that night. I don't deserve any excuses, but I really hope you can forgive me. I love you, Bay. I never stopped and I never will. I don't care how long it takes for you to love me again. I'll do anything, please"
I just stared at him, trying to think of what to say.
"You have to realize that you are a completely different person to me now," Tears started to fall down my cheeks, " I am never going to see you as the caring guy who would never do anything to hurt me" The tears wouldn't stop, "I wouldn't think of forgiving you for this"
His face becomes one of sadness and defeat. Something in me caused me to soften. Was it sympathy?
I can't believe I'm doing this after all the hurt he has caused me, but I had to. I love him and being without him is hell, pure hell. Here goes nothing.
I touch my hand to his face; look at him straight in the eye and said,
"But I am" He seemed surprised, then just smiled. I was happy to see him smile, I made the right choice, I was certain. It was going to be hard, but I wasn't going to give up on this relationship. I thought back through all of our moments that defined our relationship. All of the things we went through, all of the obstacles we faced that made our relationship what it is. Learning to sign, Daphne, Melody, getting arrested, Angelo, Ty, the custody battle, and this. I leaned in to kiss him, the first time in forever, and it made me remember why I fell in love with Emmett Bledsoe. In that moment, nothing else mattered except that I had love in my life again and I was never going to let it go. I know he is not going to make this mistake again. I'm not just going to pretend like this didn't happen. He has to work ten times harder than anyone to regain my trust.