A/N: This will be similar to another story I did, but there will be very distinct differences. So..., warnings: Yaoi, shonen-ai, swearing, self-harm and such things, possible lemon later, maybe even rape or mentions thereof.
Your reviews are always appreciated and I hope you guys like it.
'Search for the answers I knew all along
I lost myself, we all fall down
Never the wiser of what I've become
Alone I stand, a broken man'
Lee took his stance, facing Neji who had also taken up his stance.
Seconds passed, leaves slowly drifted down from the branches of the surrounding trees, they charged. Blows were exchanged, none landing properly, they jumped back.
Again they charged with the same result.
Looking at Neji, Lee crouched slightly lower in his stance, Neji's eyes narrowing, watching closely. Then with his tremendous speed, Lee seemed to disappear, running a wide arc to Neji's left, jumping and aiming a roundhouse kick to the other teen's head. Sensing and seeing the other teen's chakra, Neji ducked just in time, only to be hit with a right hook on the other side as Lee had seemingly disappeared again, hitting Neji in the jaw and rolling quickly away.
Neji glared at Lee, a bruise on his jaw, he charged, directly at Lee then.
Lee went on the defensive, barely dodging and blocking Neji's onslaught of blows, Neji wasn't as quick as Lee, but it was close, when Lee had his weights on anyway. Finally, Lee back flipped away and as Neji charged again, enraged, Lee kicked him in the head with a roundhouse kick. Neji flew a few feet before coming to a stop, not getting back up as he usually would.
Lee relaxed his stance, he and Tenten slowly approaching the fallen ninja.
Neji sat up as Tenten crouched beside him.
"Are you okay?" Tenten asked, concern filled her voice.
"I'm fine." Neji replied stiffly, his Byakugan deactivated.
"It was a good match." Lee smiled, extending his hand to his teammate.
"Hn." Neji ignored the offered hand and stood.
"That was great work! Same time tomorrow!" Gai-sensei shouted with his trademark thumbs up before disappearing in a puff of smoke.
As always, Neji's unacknowledgement stung, but he tried not to think about it and started to the deeper part of the forest as Tenten tried to cheer Neji as they walked back towards the village.
Lee would go back later. First, he had some things to do.
'All I have is one last chance
I won't turn my back on you
Take my hand, drag me down
If you fall then I will too
And I can't save what's left of you'
He walked deep into the forest, not so deep as he didn't know the way back, but deep enough that very few ever ventured that far. The trees were very thick, giving the small clearing a darker look. He went to his customary tree and began to train, practicing kicks and punches and various combinations. He only practiced for an hour before his arms and legs began to ache.
He sat heavily, his back pressed to his tree. He felt the tears beginning to form in his eyes. Why couldn't they acknowledge him? What had he done? Was he not good enough? Would he EVER be good enough?
His tears began to spill down his pale cheeks. It wasn't right. He had proven himself time and time again. But still, it was like he wasn't good enough and never would be no matter what he did and said. He was so CLOSE yet..., so incredibly far away. As always, his life was Fair. No matter how hard he fought, how hard he worked, how hard he tried, how well he did, his efforts amounted to nothing. Just more hatred.
Neji hated him, he was sure of it.
He slowly started to unwrap the bandages around his arms, his hands shaking as he first did his left arm then his right. He was shaking, but not with tiredness, with fear and also anticipation.
'Sing something new
I have nothing left
I can't face the dark without you
There's nothing left to lose
The fight never ends
I can't face the dark without you
Swallow me under and pull me apart
I understand, there's nothing left
Pain so familiar and close to the heart
No more, no less, I won't forget
Come back down, save yourself
I can't find my way to you
And I can't bear to face the truth'
At training the next day, Lee's arms and legs shook, he was slower than usual. He was just as cheery though. Gai told them that they would be training with team seven that day. It would be the teams facing off against one another. Tenten would take out Sakura, Naruto for Lee, and Sasuke for Neji. Once they dealt with their opponent, they could help one of the others.
The fights began and Lee focused on fighting Naruto.
As Lee thought he had the blond beat, he surprised him, landing a solid downward kick upon Lee's wrist. Lee fell forward, holding his arm to his chest, the pain was horrible. His breath came in short gasps, his bandages darked to a deep red.
Naruto was starting for a comeback hit, Lee back flipped out of the way, knowing he had to hide his arm and end the fight quickly.
Holding his injured arm to his body, Lee ran at the blond, easily sidestepping his attacks, finally landing a solid kick to his jaw from which the blond didn't get right up from.
He trotted over to Gai and softly told him that he was going home early because he didn't feel well. Gai looked at him concernedly but Lee had already ran off, his head down.
Upon reaching his home, Lee went to the bathroom and slowly stripped off his bandage, throwing it in the trash. He looked at his pale arm, the bleeding had stopped and the blood had began drying, but as he lightly flexed his arm, more blood trickled from the latest cut he had made. His arm was a network of crisscrossing lines, all from a kunai, he himself, had wielded.
He sighed softly and began to clean the wound and blood before re-bandaging his arm and then going to his bedroom to change into his night clothes.
After changing he stood in his doorway, contemplating dinner or not. He wasn't that hungry to be honest, but he knew he should eat. He stood a few moments longer, at last deciding to just go lay down.
'I wanted to forgive
I'm trying to forget
Don't leave me here again
I am with you forever, the end'
There was no comment over yesterday. They trained individually that day. Lee was careful and trained as hard as he could without opening a wound, if anyone noticed his less than usual effort, they didn't say a word. Gai gave them the next day off because they had a mission the day after that. It would be a simple C-rank, escorting a man of standing back to Sand.
On their day off, Lee walked around the village, not smiling, staring down at the ground, very unusual behavior for him. Yet, no one commented, no one seemed to notice. No one even threw him a glance as tears started to fall, but then, he was running, towards the training grounds and then deep into the forest.
Lee didn't notice, that someone had noticed him. Had noticed his change. Had noticed his tears. Someone had noticed. Someone very unlikely. But that someone was standing right where Lee's tears had fallen to the ground. He stared off the direction that Lee had run.
"Yeah Akamaru, I should follow him."
"I don't know what I'd say."
"You're right. I'm going."
'Holding the hand that holds me down
I forgive you, forget you, the end
Holding the hand that holds me down
I forgive you, forget you, the end'