A.N- the attempted summoning of Suzaku in the first season was pivotal. There were many things happening with Miaka after that, but this fic addresses the 'death' (okay so he's not dead but she doesn't know that) of Amiboshi. It's from Miaka's point of view.

"Who Were You?"

Kelly M. O'Connor

*~*

Death… I've come close, extremely close to dying. I've seen people die, well no one very close until now. His name was Chiriko; well I thought it was Chiriko at least. The summoning of Suzaku was to be a joyous occasion. All the seishi were gathered together. I spent hours preparing, all dressed up, made up. My hair was done up, and I was happy. After so much work, after gathering all the warriors, falling in love with one of my warrior protectors, almost losing him, then gaining him back again. Always befriending them, even after rocky starts with a couple of them. Getting to know them, and accidentally revealing some of their deepest secrets. I've met some of the most wonderful people here. People here in this, in this book. These people are so real to me; they comfort me, protect me, and love me unconditionally. They are the greatest friends I have ever had. They are like family. So much so that it's becoming harder and harder to believe that they are essentially just characters in a book.

I'm sitting here after the summoning, after the events of the day, a day that was supposed to be happy. It didn't turn out so well, I might say it was dreadful. Night has fallen, and I'm by myself contemplating the events of the day. It's a day that started out well but has ended with heartache, death, failure, and startling realizations.

Death…

His name was Amiboshi, but I thought it was Chiriko, the seventh warrior of Suzaku. He was a dear friend of mine, the only seishi that was my age. His music always comforted me when I was upset. He played the flute like a mystic putting us under his spell. That really was what he was doing I guess. In any case I trusted him, just as I trusted the other six of the seishi. He cared for me. I think he may have even felt something romantically for me too. Chiriko-- I mean Amiboshi respected my relationship with Tamahome though. Unlike some of the other seishi, he never tried to interfere. He was sweet, always so happy, and just about the least suspicious person you could ever meet. He never hinted at being anyone except Chiriko, the seventh star of Suzaku. I believed in him… I was wrong. We were all wrong to trust him. When the most important moment of the other warrior's lives came, he revealed himself to be a warrior of Seiryuu. He betrayed us, or maybe not. I suppose he was never on our side in the first place. The music that he had used to comfort us, he now used against us. We were under his spell, and it almost killed us. We didn't die because the real warrior Chiriko, a thirteen-year-old scholar, picked that time to appear. He saved us from the evil of the Seiryuu warrior.

And yet…

I can't bring myself to believe he was evil. I keep telling myself, he was on the bad side, and we're the good guys in this story. Amiboshi was a pawn though. He seemed to regret what he had done. He actually seemed to genuinely care for us, to enjoy being around us and being our friends. That was no act. When we escaped certain death thanks to the real Chiriko, he ran. I think he knew he would get caught. He was fast but there were more of us. Tasuki and me finally caught him, and when we did… he let go. We were holding onto him over the rushing white water of the river that runs through Hong-nan's capital, and he closed his eyes, and let go. Amiboshi let go on purpose, he committed suicide; he gave in to the ultimate escape. It led me to ask, Amiboshi, who exactly were you? He didn't want to be one of us, and he didn't want to be one of them. He just wanted to be himself. He knew that as a warrior, he didn't have that choice. I couldn't call his death noble, I don't think suicide is noble or courageous. I can say that he wasn't evil though. I can say he just… was. Neither good nor evil, but trapped somewhere in the middle. Before I came into the book there was no gray area in my mind; one was either good or evil. But now I think what of the warriors of Seiryu? I have only met two, and one seems to be evil, but I do not know much about him. The other one was Amiboshi; he played such beautiful music. He couldn't be evil. The priestess of Seiryuu is my dearest friend. Her name is Yui Hongo and although, she is my best friend, she is on this so-called evil side. I cannot bring myself to believe that everyone on the side of Seiryuu is evil. Amiboshi wasn't, and Yui-Chan isn't either.

Then I remember…

I remember where I am. I'm in "The Universe of the Four Gods," it's a storybook and every storybook must have a hero and a villain, an antagonist and a protagonist. By some twist of fate I became "the heroine of the book" along with my warriors, and Yui has become the "villainess of the book" along with her warriors. I wonder if the Seiryuu warriors see us as the evil ones? I don't think they do, I think they see us as the enemies, but not as evil. We are like rivals to them. Why? Because this is a story and even though I know in my mind that there are people who are neither good nor bad, or good but trapped on the side of evil. In the mind of the reader of the "Universe of the Four Gods" there is only good and evil, scarlet and blue. The pure red of the warriors and priestess of Suzaku, and the tainted blue of the warriors of Seiryuu. They will only see one side, while the characters inside struggle with what exactly is good and evil, and where they are in the grand plan of things. Who they are, why they are… their purpose.

~Owari~

A.N.- I hope you enjoyed this. I had a bit of fun writing it. This is my first Fushigi Yuugi fic, and my first fanfic I've posted here that isn't "Slayers." I'm working on one other FY fic. It also involves Amiboshi. Just so you know I do not support Miaka/Amiboshi couple. Miaka/Tamahome is the only way. LoL. Umm… well please review, and encourage me to write more!