title: to die by your side
chapters: 1 of 1?
fandom: vampire diaries
character/pairing: elena, elijah
rating: t
word count: 878
summary: is such a lovely way to die. Elena/Elijah.

author's note: don't know why, but I wanted to write a drabble/oneshot about the initial part of turning.


to die by your side


When Elena's ready to turn, she goes to Elijah. She tells herself it's because she doesn't want Stefan or Damon talking her out of it. She tells Elijah that they couldn't handle it. That she knows he can. That she trusts him. She's not sure who she's lying to. The only thing that she is sure of is that this will be her last day as a human. Her last hour. Her last second.

She catalogues everything about it. The way her toes scrunch in her sandals, pulling away from the cold that seems to radiate off of the floor of her kitchen. The way the granite of the counter makes one small spot of hair on her arm stand up. The way the rest of her hair brushes at her neck. The way the room looks. The way he looks, at her. She doesn't want to forget it. She wants to remember it and compare it. She wants this. Wants to turn.

Elijah steps in towards her, his eyes searching for and through hers. She fears for a moment that he'll find something she can't. He'll find that part of her that's not ready, that wants to run and go get drunk with Matt or Jeremy. But that doesn't seem to be what he's looking for. She isn't sure what until he says, "I will be killing you, Elena. It would be very easy not to bring you back, to chain you away and let you rot the way you and your friends have tried to do to my family."

He's looking behind her drive, behind her determination and stone face, to see if she really does trust him. She does. So much. Hasn't she proved that? She doesn't care how many times he might make the wrong choice. He's still the right one here. Now.

"But you won't," she says plainly.

He looks into her eyes a moment longer before saying, "But I won't." Then he breaks eye contact and bites into the skin of his wrist. The blood slowly rises. It's not gushing the way she pictured it would be. Then again, all of her old thoughts about this moment were rushed with Damon or Stefan as some attempt to save her life. This is nothing like that.

Elijah offers her his wrist. Without a moment of hesitation, she steps forward and brings it to her lips. The taste is the same as it always is for blood. Salty, kind of coppery, and warm. She lets it go down until his healing kicks in and the punctures disappear. As they close, her eyes start to water. And all of the emotions - she's flooded by them. Fear. Anxiety. Regret. Disgust. Everyone's going to be so mad at her. They're going to hate her. She can hear them in her head now.

Stefan. ("Elena, what were you thinking? Everything we've done has been to avoid this.")

Damon. ("You're an idiot. And Elijah? He killed you, Elena. He'd do it again too!")

Caroline. ("Oh, Elena, no, no, no, no. This is not supposed to happen.")

Bonnie. ("I can't even look at you.")

Jeremy. ("First Alaric and now you?")

And Klaus. ("I will kill everyone you've ever known.")

She can't do this. No, she's not ready. She can't.

"Elena?"

Her wide eyes meet his again. She expects to see disappointment in him, but there is only understanding. He has that soft look that he normally covers up so quickly. She likes his eyes like that.

She takes a shuddering breath. "Can you just say the plan again?"

He gives her a grin. "It's your plan, Elena. You say it."

Right. Her plan. Her wish. Her choice. Hers and hers alone. "I drink your blood. You kill me. You make sure that no one gets close to the house. I wake up. I drink from the blood bags that are warmed to the right temperature. You keep me in this house, no matter what until I calm down. Then, once I can handle it, we start bringing people over. First, Caroline, then Stefan and Damon - together, not at separate times - then Bonnie, then Matt, and Jeremy's last because his will probably be the worst of them all."

It will be. He's the one that matters the most. The one she absolutely cannot lose.

"And then?" he prompts.

She focuses. She talks to Jeremy "And then I go on living, as a vampire."

"Say it again."

"As a vampire. I will be a vampire." He nods, and she repeats it. "I, Elena Gilbert, will be a vampire, a blood-sucking, sun-burning, super hearing vampire. Forever."

Elijah nods again. He tells her, slowly and softly, "I'll make it quick, Elena."

"Thank you," she whispers.

He probably doesn't know how to respond to that. It's not exactly a 'your welcome' kind of moment. Instead, he holds out his arms. She steps into them, painfully aware that this will be the first time she hugs him. She's dying and she doesn't even know what it's like to really be in his arms. So she wraps hers around his waist and feels the warmth that shouldn't be there. She rests her head against his chest. Breathes him in. Blinks and then - snap!


I'm debating ~ should I continue this little drabble?