Hello. I made this up when I was bored.

For the purposes of storytelling, all video game references were removed and it's basically like it happened in real life. If you know what I mean.

I'm not that good with crossovers.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Strong Language, light violence, psychological trauma.


The Tasen soldier hit the ground, his facemask cracked and leaking lavender blood. Iji stood to deliver the final blow, her shoe covered in his blood. She aimed the machinegun at the back of his head. She shook at the blood on her shoe.

"Sorry." Iji cried.

She blew the soldier's head off and his Nanofield was assimilated into hers.

She walked through the facility. Dan's security cameras tracking her as she attempted to avoid confrontation - Hiding under tables when soldiers entered the room, trying to knock them out, distracting them from a doorway so that she could slip through.

Then she saw a strange teleport pad. This one had a pattern on it and was taking up a lot more space than the ones she saw a few sectors back. She stood on it and it activated.

But she did not reappear at the facility. She was in a different place entirely.

Iji looked around in the dark room. There were shelves with boxes tipped on the floor. There were strange, almost alien computers. She looked out a small window and saw a almost lunar surface with other buildings in the distance. She looked up and saw a great blue sun that hurt her eyes.

Wherever she was, it wasn't Earth.

Iji opened a door into a well lit corridor, she looked around for Tasen. None.

"Uh...Hello? Is there anyone here?" Iji called out. Her voice echoed through the corridor.

Iji raised her Nanogun to her shoulder and started advancing slowly down the corridor. She walked to another door that was slightly ajar. In there was more computers and shelves. But there was a great tank with wires hanging inside. It was filled with yellow liquid and had a giant monster inside. Iji recoiled and slammed the door shut. She continued walking down the corridor.

"Hello?" Iji called out again.

"Who the motherfuck was that?" she heard a young man's voice.

"Who's that?" Iji lifted the Nanogun to her shoulder.

"Where are you, sis?"

"Dan?" Iji lowered her gun.


A tall, thin, grey alien with large horns walked through a door at the end of the corridor. He couldn't have been older than thirteen. He was wearing a black shirt with the symbol of Capricorn on it.

"Who are you?" Iji aimed at the alien. "Tell me who you are! Now!"

"Don't motherfucking harsh out, sis! Name's Gamzee." the alien held his hands out in front of him.

"Right..." Iji lowered the Nanogun again. "Where am I?"

"I'll be honest...I don't know either!" Gamzee's appearence was scaring Iji a bit. His large yellow eyes were giving her the creeps. "I'll go take you to my friends!"

"Uh...Okay..." Iji cleared her hair from her eyes.

"You never went and introduced your-motherfucking-self!"

"Uh...My name's Iji..."

Iji and Gamzee walked to a teleport pad.

"Look who I motherfucking found!"

Another alien turned from his computer. He had a purple cape and highlighted hair. His horns were small. "Who's she?"

Two others turned from their computers, a boy and and a girl. The girl had one eye and a robotic arm. One of her horns was forked at the end. The boy was very large and had a pair of broken sunglasses on. His right horn was broken.

"Who are you?" said the girl.

"She appears human." said the boy.

"She says her name is Iji." said Gamzee. He pointed at the caped alien. "This here is Eridan."

He pointed towards the boy and the girl. "This is Vriska and Equius."

"Pleased to meet you, Iji." Equius said. He stood up and walked to Iji with his hand out.

"Yeah. Hi." Vriska turned around and continued typing.

"Um. Hello." Iji shook Equius' hand. "What aliens are you?"

"We're trolls. Our planet was destroyed and we are the last 12 survivors. Well, technically 11. Our leader is the man over there, Mr. Karkat Vantas" Equius pointed towards a boy that Iji had not noticed. He was staring in disbelief. His horns were tiny.

"Who the almighty fuck are you and why are you here?" he shouted.

"Uhh..." Iji turned to face Karkat.

"Jegus Christ you sound like that crippled asshole! Always stuttering!"

"Well maybe if you gave me the chance to talk!" Iji snapped. "I just stepped on a teleport pad and now I'm here with all of you. What's going on?"

"Wait. I am confused." Equius looked to Karkat for an explaination and found none. "Tell us your whole story."

"Well...This is what my brother told me: Six months ago an alien race called "Tasen" invaded a military facility I was visiting and killed everyone inside...Including my entire family..." Iji closed her eyes and tilted her head to the floor. "I was forcibly made a soldier by the remaining staff and within minutes of coming out of a coma I had to fight the Tasen even though I didn't want to!"

"More aliens? Fucking hell."

Vriska turned around. "But the Reckoning on Earth happened today!"

"What?" Iji turned to Vriska. "What's a Reckoning?"

"When the game destroys a planet. It happened to Alternia and Earth."

"Alternia? That your home planet?"

"Yeah. Anyway I'm helping this kid here."

"There were survivors?" Iji ran to Vriska's computer and looked at the screen. There was a live feed of a 13-year-old human boy. He wore square glasses and was wearing a suit. "Who is he?"


Iji typed into the chat program. The handle the girl was using was ArachnidsGrip. He was using the handle EctoBiologist.

AG: Hello?

EB: vriska?

AG: No. My name's Iji.

AG: What's going on, John?

EB: iji? you another troll?

AG: No, I'm a human. What's going on?

EB: is vriska there with you?

Vriska pushed Iji out of the way and typed.

AG: Yeah, it's me John.

AG: There is a human girl here called Iji. Do you know her?

EB: no...

AG: Anyway, she says that she just came from a military facility and she was fighting aliens called Tasen.

EB: tasen?

Iji took over the keyboard again.

AG: Yes.

AG: They invaded Earth six months ago.

EB: no they didn't.

EB: earth was destroyed today. i saw it happen. i only know about the trolls.

AG: Right...

AG: I'll tell you what happened to me first.

AG: I was with my family in a military complex. I looked at the clouds since they were glowing. Then I saw lasers destroy the city. I passed out and woke up six months later. I was made into a soldier against my will, and my brother Dan's been helping me understand my new abilities. What happened to you?

EB: uh...

EB: today's my birthday, and there was a game called sburb.

EB: my friends and i played it and the world ended. we all ended up on different planets but we are still able to communicate. vriska's been helping me too.

EB: wait, my friend's pestering me.

There was a long pause.

EB: jade just told me she found a human!

AG: Really?

EB: yeah. he is 16, he's with jade and she says he's trying to find his sister iji!

AG: Dan?

EB: hold on. i'll get jade now.

There was another pause then another window popped up. Jade had the handle GardenGnostic.

GG: hello?

AG: Dan?

GG: no im jade.

GG: nice to meet you! :D

AG: Can you get Dan?

GG: okay!

GG: sis? Iji?

AG: Dan? Where are you?

GG: i'm with Jade. i saw you disappear and when i couldn't find you anywhere in the building i made a run for the same teleporter. when i appeared though it was in this girl's house.

GG: she said that the world ended.

AG: Same here. I think that something very strange has happened. I'm with a bunch of aliens!

GG: Tasen?

AG: No, they're called trolls. They seem friendly enough.

GG: i wouldn't trust an alien as far as i throw one. they all seem to be trouble.

AG: Okay...Listen Dan, what should I do now?

GG: i guess that you should try not to die i guess. if these aliens are friendly enough then i guess you can trust them...

AG: Will you be okay with Jade?

GG: yes. i stole a pistol from a dead body just in case. Jade has a sniper rifle and we're set for ammo. if anything happens i think she can take care of it.

AG: That's good. I'll talk to you later Dan.

GG: okay. keep safe Iji.

AG: You too Dan.

Iji logged off from the conversation.

Eridan turned around and stared at Iji.

"Can I help you?" Iji eventually said.

"Oh. No I'm all right here Iji." Eridan said quickly.

"Huh..." Iji eyed Eridan suspiciously.

"Care to know how our romance works?"

"Jegus Eriderp." said Vriska. "You know this human for five minutes and you're flushed for her!"

"Sorry?" Iji looked at Vriska.

"Flushed. Red." Vriska said

"What does that mean?" Iji asked.

"I'll have to ask Karkat to explain here."

"Red means he wants to take you to his respiteblock and fill pails with you forever and ever." Karkat said, looking at Eridan mockingly.

"A pail? What's a bucket have to do with this? What's a respiteblock? Why am I with you and not other humans?" Iji looked angry now. She held the gun tighter.

"Fucking hell...Humans...Right. Our reproductive systems rely on pails and what happens is that-"

"What?" Iji cut Karkat off. "So this guy...Eww! No damn way! Not with an alien and certainly not with an child!" Iji looked absolutely disgusted at Eridan. She recoiled from him.

"Eridan, stop creeping the poor human out." another alien stood on the teleporter. She was wearing a red skirt and had short hair and her horns were fairly large. "Hello. My name is Kanaya."


"Oh. Hello Iji, I will warn you of Eridan now; He's a bit of a pervert."

"Shut up!" Eridan turned around from his screen.

"You are! Don't fucking deny it!" Karkat stood in defence of Iji. "You've even tried it with Nepeta and you didn't even know her name you raving douchebag!"

"Don't call me a pervert you asswipe!" Eridan stood up. His chair fell on it's back as he did. "And why are you always acting as Nepeta's damn knight?"

"Hey now." Kanaya walked in between them. "No need to fight."

"Sirs. I insist you two calm down. We have a guest." Equius looked over his shades at Karkat and Eridan. His baggy eyes startled Iji.

"Oh yeah, well listen you hoofbeastfucker. I can't give two shits about a Human Anomaly!" Karkat snapped.

"What did you call me?" Iji loomed over Karkat. "That's the name the Tasen use for me."

"Well I don't know about any Tasen. What the fuck is a Tasen, anyway?"

"Then how the hell do you know it!" Iji dropped her Nanogun and held Karkat off the floor by his throat.

"I guess it just popped into my think pan! Now get your stupid damn hands off me and go back to angsting over Taser or whatever the fuck they are!"

Iji dropped Karkat. He struggled for breath and looked at Iji, almost as if he was trying to burn his anger into her very soul.

Kanaya held the bridge of her nose in her right hand.

"I can't leave any of you alone for one minute, can I?"