Christ, I'm sorry that this took a long time. School is getting in the way. Usual stuff applies, but updates will start getting more frequent and that's something I'm aiming for.

-Steventheman


Eventually a message window opened on Iji's terminal. This girl's handle was TentacleTherapist. Iji double-took at the name.

TT: Yes? Jade informed me of a human staying with the trolls?

NP: Are you Rose? I'm Iji Kataiser.

TT: Yes, that's my name. Rose Lalonde.

TT: I'm pleased to make your aquaintance.

NP: I just needed to say some stuff and Jade said you're the smartest out of all of them.

NP: I'd talk to my brother Dan but he's unavailable right now.

TT: I'm the smartest?

TT: Only in certain fields, I'm certainly not as mentally advanced in robotics or marksmanship as Jade and I cannot work a turntable or be such a master of irony like Dave. I also cannot cook or have the physical strength of John.

NP: I'm not all that smart. I dropped out of college despite my father saying that I should stick to it and all I really know now is how to avoid a fight, shoot a gun or kick someone's head off...

TT: That's a valuable skill to have.

TT: A fight can get messy and dangerous.

TT: Like the fight I recently had which ended with someone's eyes getting stabbed out with a pair of knitting needles.

TT: That both felt good and bad.

NP: Yeeaahh...Anyway, I'm just having difficulty adjusting.

NP: Like I'm still under threat of the Tasen.

TT: Tasen?

NP: Aliens. The Earth I came from was destroyed by them.

TT: Ah.

TT: This might be a sign of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

NP: Oh no.

TT: PTSD is or was suffered mostly by soldiers after combat, but there is or was a small fraction of children who's abuse was so horrible they developed the condition.

TT: Sufferers experience realistic flashbacks, nightmares about the event and hypervigilance.

TT: Triggers mostly include the sounds, sights, smells and even the feel of the traumatic event.

TT: You were a soldier, correct?

NP: ...Yes...

TT: I see.

TT: There isn't a lot I can do since I am not there with you to talk to you personally. I wish there was a way to rectify this but we are in different universes.

NP: Whhhaaaat?

NP: Then how am I talking to you?

TT: I do not know, myself.

NP: ...

NP: I know there's no Tasen here and the trolls are friendly. But I keep thinking that a Tasen force is going to kill us all.

TT: The Tasen aren't here, Ms. Kataiser.

TT: They're gone now. I can assure you.

NP: I know...They're on Alternate Earth.

NP: ...I miss Mia...

TT: Mia?

NP: My little sister. She was killed in the attack.

TT: I'm sorry.

NP: It happened six months ago...But it still hurts.

TT: Were you and Mia close?

NP: ...Yes.

NP: Excuse me...


Iji held her face in her hands and began to cry loudly. Sollux and Feferi got up and ran towards her.

"What's the matter?" asked Sollux. He flung a reassuring arm around Iji. He looked at the conversation. "Oh...Shit..."

"Uh...Don't cry Iji..." Feferi stood, unsure of what to do. She called over Karkat.

"What's going on now?" Karkat saw Iji. "Oh..."

Iji raised her head and took Sollux's arm off her. She got up and ran to the teleport pad. She left her Nanogun on the desk.

Sollux sat at Iji's computer.


NP: oh 2hiit.

TT: What's wrong?

NP: 2he just ran off cryiing.

TT: Oh...

NP: ii thiink 2he's really upset about that miia giirl.

NP: iim sollux, by the way...And the rea2on you haven't met me ii2 becau2e hone2tly ii dont want to talk two you.

TT: Hello Sollux. Nice to meet you too.

TT: Someone better tend to her.

NP: KK and FF just took off after her

NP: EQ ii2 here now

TT: EQ?

NP: Equiiu2.

TT: I haven't met him.

NP: Oh.

NP: ii'm hopiing 2he doesnt get lost iin the lab.

NP: thii2 lab ii2 way two biig.

TT: I wouldn't know about that.

NP: make2 2en2e.

NP: anyway ii got to go make 2ure everyone2 fiine and 2hiit.

TT: Good luck with that.


Sollux logged off Iji's account and got up from the chair. He picked up the Nanogun, which took great strength. He looked around the empty room. He sighed, walked over to his terminal, set the Nanogun down on the desk next to him and logged on.

"Mr. Captor?" said Equius eventually.

"Yeah?"

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Check on that human." Sollux said wearily.

"...Okay." Equius walked to the teleporter in the centre of the room and disappeared in a flash of light.

After about 10 minutes a small girl wearing a cat ear hood with a slightly cleft lip teleported in. She had small horns. She wore a green trenchcoat two sizes too big for her, a black T-shirt bearing the Leo symbol and a pair of worn and dirty trousers. She silently stalked up to Sollux like a lion hunting it's prey.

"Nyan!"

"FUCKING HELL!" Sollux jumped up from his chair and ran backwards about a foot away. "You scared the shit outta me!"

"Sorry..." the tiny girl looked at the floor. "I was only playing a joke."

Sollux took a minute to compose himself. "...Dammit, you just scared me that's all..."

The girl perked up. "It was a funny joke though right?"

Sollux looked at the little girl and her adorable smile and couldn't bring himself to say that he found it really immature and stupid. "Yeah, it wasth pretty funny Nepeta."

Nepeta meowed like a cat in happiness. She looked at Iji's Nanogun on the desk next to Sollux.

"What's that?" Nepeta walked up to the Nanogun and studied it's every detail.

"It's that human's weapon. She left it here when she ran off." Sollux looked at the gun. "It weighs about a thousand fucking tonnes, I don't know how she holds it with those tiny arms."

"Maybe she is a really strong kitty!" Nepeta was tempted to click some buttons but resisted. "Like me! Maybe we could hunt together one day!"

"Doubt it. I looked at her conversation, she's really averse to killing..."

"Oh." Nepeta looked down at her socks.

"I'm going to be busy here NP, so do something to amuse yourself while I do this."

Nepeta walked away to her own terminal and logged on. When Sollux was sure she wasn't looking he looked at the gun. There appeared to be a slot that didn't belong on it because the technology didn't match. He rooted around in a box full of cables by his feet for a correct cable. He eventually found a cable close enough to . He brought up a window which had a text log on it.

KL-53 CYBERNETICS EXPERIMENT

CONDUCTED: 12/09/11 - 03/03/12

LOCATION: SECTOR 1, DCMPFR MILITARY RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT FACILITY, [REDACTED], [REDACTED], UNITED STATES.

HEAD REASERCHER: DR. SONIA PLAIT PhD.

ASSISTANTS: DR. ROGER BECKER PhD, DR. DAVID BRIGHT M.D AND DAN KATAISER

SUBJECT: IJI KATAISER (SUBJECT D-1023)

PURPOSE OF EXPERIMENT: CREATION OF NANO-ASSISTED SOLDIER CAPABLE OF WIPING OUT TASEN THREAT.

SUBJECT NOTES: IJI KATAISER (SUBJECT D-1023) IS NOT THE PERFECT CANDIDATE FOR KL-23, SHE HAS NO FORMAL MILITARY TRAINING, SHE IS A PACIFIST AND HAS A FEAR OF BLOOD.

WHEN D-1023 WAS FOUND SHE WAS SUFFERING FROM BURNS AND SHRAPNEL WOUNDS TO THE FACE AND WAS FOUND IN A CATATONIC STATE FOLLOWING TASEN ALPHA STRIKE. SHE WAS RECOVERED BY DAN KATAISER AND DR. BRIGHT.

D-1023 IS 20 YEARS OLD, FEMALE AND IS 6 FOOT 3 WEIGHING 74.4 KG(164.0 LB) SHE WAS SELECTED DUE TO HER DETERMINATION TO STAY ALIVE; SURVIVAL AFTER 22 HOURS IN A CATATONIC STATE UNAIDED IS CERTAINLY A FEAT.

HER PERSONALITY APPEARS TO BE ONE OF NON-VIOLENCE. SHE WILL AVOID CONFLICT WHENEVER POSSIBLE AND IS REPORTED TO HAVE A FEAR OF BLOOD.

OTHERWISE HER PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE IS UNREMARKABLE. SHE MIGHT SUFFER TRAUMA FROM LOSS OF FATHER DR. RONALD KATAISER AND SISTER MIA KATAISER.

DESPITE PROTESTS FROM DAN KATAISER, SHE WAS SELECTED OVER HIM TO TAKE THE FOLLOWING UPGRADES:

NECK AND HEAD: NANOFIELD CONTROLLER.

ARMS: 2x STRENGTH AMPLIFIERS.

LEGS: 4x STRENGTH AMPLIFIERS.

HEART: ADVANCED EXPERIMENTAL PACEMAKER DESIGNED TO RESIST ELECTROMAGNETIC PULSES.

SHE IS ARMED WITH A "KL-53 TASEN-MADE KOMATO GENERAL REPLICA NANOGUN (GEN2)" WHICH WAS STOLEN FROM A DETAINED TASEN ELITE. WE TERMINATED HIM SOON AFTER WITH THE NANOGUN.

IT IS EQUIPPED WITH THE "SHOTGUN.", A RARELY-USED NANOWEAPON. ALL OTHER NANOWEAPONS WERE WIPED FOLLOWING ELITE'S DEATH.

IT IS UP TO HER WHETHER OR NOT SHE USES IT.

- DR. BECKER.

Sollux read the entire document. He did not notice Iji standing behind him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Iji's eyes were puffy from crying. "What is this?"

"Oh. I was just curious..." Sollux said in defence.

"What is this here?" Iji highlighted a sentence in the report and read it aloud. "Despite protests from Dan Kataiser, she was selected over him to take the following upgrades?"

"I was wondering about that...Who's Dan?"

"Brother." Iji's eyes were focused on the screen. "All this was on my gun?"

"Yesth, I believe so." Sollux adjusted his glasses. "So you have a thing in your neck? Cool."

Iji crouched down and held her hand to the right side of her neck. She fumbled around until she felt a metal box. She then shut her eyes until a click was heard.

"According to my controller...My Nanoshield went down. I'm unshielded..." Iji looked at Sollux with slight fear in her eyes.

"So?"

"If they come for me...I'm doomed..." Iji sat on the ground. She reached up and grabbed her gun. She cradled it in her hands, it's cold metal somehow comforting her.

"Hey!" Nepeta crouched down next to Iji. "What's wrong?"

Iji said nothing to Nepeta. She could swear that when she blinked when looking at Nepeta that it was Mia. Iji shook her head and continued hugging the gun.

Sollux put his hand on Nepeta's shoulder. "Just leave her. KK and the others will be here soon. Most likely queuing for the TP pad."

Karkat teleported in. He looked at Iji.

"She's still blubbering?"

"KK, leave her alone." Sollux looked over his glasses and tapped Karkat's shoulder and whispered to him. "If you read that document there you'll see why."

"Whatever. Look drop that damn thing, stand up and conduct yourself like a fucking adult!"

Iji remained silent.

"You want to act like a fucking grub then fine!" Karkat walked over to his terminal.

Iji looked up at Nepeta. She stood up and kept the gun in her hands.

"Hey..." said Iji weakly.

"Hello!" Nepeta exclaimed excitedly. "I'm Nepeta!"

"Nice to meet you..." Iji looked down. "My name is Iji. Iji Kataiser."

Nepeta looked at Iji. She got up and tackled her to the floor.

"What the hell?" yelled Iji.

"I think that means she likes you! Take her home and buy a damn basket for the little kitten before she gets bored with you." Karkat mocked.

Nepeta got up from the tackle.

Iji looked at the other trolls who were staring at her.

"What?" asked Iji.


Honestly, I could rename this "Iji Makes Alien Friends and Suffers from Crippling Psychological Disorders"

-Steventheman