A/N: Thank you for welcoming this back :) Thank you for everything else too :D
Sorry if this story seemed to be blowing itself out of proportion, I won't dilly dally anymore and just get the fuck on with the course. And I apologize severely for my overly late updates. I'm majorly busy.
That, and I set a 20 chapter limit to this. So after this chap, two more and it will be over. Finally.
Brothers shouldn't think of brothers in such a way brothers should not. It is natural to remark how kind he is, to be worried about him, always finding it significant for their happiness to be fulfilled, help evade any kind of pain and sadness as if every tear that will fall would burn his face. Of course, Yukio would do absolutely everything for his Onii-san. Just to keep that bright and sincere smile, those blissfully carefree laughter, and that captivating face unmarred by any physical nor emotional pain. Giving his brother the best was not the problem, but the fact that he remained in his mind twenty-four-seven what's bothering the younger.
Even at this very moment wherein he should be studying for his exams next week his mind kept on wandering to Rin, thinking about how the little devil decided to stay in his mind even till now; it was rather ironic and paradoxical. He might be going mental just because of this puny -well not so puny- dilemma.
When did this start? Weeks ago, same time when Rin acted off. The genius that he is, Yukio pondered about a rather enigmatic timeline; particularly before that triggering week. For sure he had memories of what happened in the said timeline but he couldn't help but question every bit of it. He never thought of it deeply though, but the curiosity was there. He just found it odd that the dreams he was having lately seemed more real than his existing memories.
Earlier before they got back home, Yukio mentioned the dream he had with his brother. It was awkward when his older twin blushed; by instinct, Yukio immediately denied whatever what was going on in Rin's mind when he said: 'I dreamt of you.' Actually, he did have those kinds of dreams of him; it came with the package. But of course, it is utterly improper to tell the person himself about those kinds of things. Which brings us back to brothers shouldn't think of brothers in such a way brothers should not.
Yukio slumped -more like slammed- his head onto his desk. Now that he remembered it, his mind just magically projected that certain dream again.
Tongues pushed against each other as they engaged in a heated kiss. A tiny moan escaped the shorter male's throat as a dominant muscle explored his wet orifice; relishing every inch. Rin grasped onto his arms tighter as the passion kept rising between them. Yukio pulled from the kiss to take a short intake of breath and dived down to the smaller man's neck; biting, licking, and kissing, leaving love marks that will most likely fade very soon, yet he didn't stop.
"A-aah.." Rin bit of a strangled moan as his brother felt on of his nipples; Yukio's deft fingers tended to the hardening pink bud. As his smaller twin's voice became more ragged and raising in both pitch and volume, he left the pale neck and looked at his face.
Rin's eyes were shut tightly, hot and innocently seductive sounds of pleasure escaped his thin pink lips, a blush dusted over his normally pale cheeks. Utterly captivating.
The younger Okumura bit his lower lip when he could feel that familiar urge building from the pits of his stomach. Good thing that the object of his fantasy at the moment wasn't present in the room; probably up on the rooftop of their dorm again. Having wet dreams about his older twin wasn't exactly his thing; it just happened. Peculiar thing was, he didn't feel repulsed with the idea of imaginably, if not possibly, taking his own kin. What a sick person he is.
He just couldn't find it in him to feel disgusted, no matter how many times he reminded himself on how it should be. Like telling himself that Rin's his brother, his twin, another male... A demon. The way how he reminded himself of his brother couldn't pull him in the most likely sane direction. He was just so... Irresistable. Yukio would be lying if he said that he had never sought release with the thought of his brother in rather compromising situations and positions.
God, Fujimoto most likely was already damning him from heaven for having these kinds of thought about his dear Onii-san. Was it Yukio's fault that he was stuck with such a tempting creature to take care of and protect?
The heat rapidly spread on his body the more he thought of it.
Yukio gave a loud sigh and stood up from his chair. He took his towel and a change of clothes and headed to the bathroom to take a shower for that evening hoping that a wash down might get his thinking straight.
Much to his dismay, no matter how much of a composed genius he is, he was still no match to the power of teenage male hormones. He stood under the cold shower with a painful and persistent erection. He panted as he slumped his head onto the tiled walls, he figured that it was no use fighting it anymore and that it was basic human nature.
With his forehead still leaning on the wall, he reached down to his arousal and gently ran his hand up and down slowly. Now that he felt the friction, his imagination grew wilder than it was earlier. He projected Rin between him and the wall equally naked, wet, and aroused. Those darkened glossy blue eyes half-lidded and staring up expectantly at him; those lush pink lips parted just begging to be ravished. Yukio imagined running his free hand onto the smaller's hip down to his thigh and wondered if Rin's skin was as soft as he thought it would be.
Their lips touched for a moment and then Rin pulled away and smiled slyly at him as he began to trail down kisses down his neck to his chest and when he reached the larger man's abs, he gave small licks and then proceeded on his descent only slower. Yukio gripped the base of his length tighter to control himself from going wild from this immoral imagination.
Finally, the scene that made his chest tighten, breath hitch, and the heat in him to rise. Rin was on his knees; his mouth only a few inches away from the needy arousal. Yukio mentally cursed himself for doing this... again. Damn it! He knew that doing it once will make him feel a bit less bothered on doing this. He remembered the first time he thought of Rin, it was in their second year of middle school but that's another story. (A/N: And no, I'm not going to make a separate fic for that prompt)
He hated himself for this, imagining his older twin going down on him...
The feeling and the thought of it ultimately kicked his remaining logic and his body took over.
Up on the roof of the abandoned dorm, Okumura Rin sat silently gazing at the horizon. He could see the lights from the academy's own little city; different shades of glow blinked, glimmered, and passed. Going somewhere isolated and quiet to think wasn't really his style since that wasn't the first reason why he was there. After their dinner earlier, he and Kuro decided to play up their, and by "play" it meant wrestling with his demon cat.
Their game came to a halt when Rin unintentionally kicked the familiar's stomach a little too hard. Kuro had to excuse himself for the night because of that. Rin was about to go back inside but the cool breeze and the calming atmosphere held him in place. Thus, the situation we have now.
The half demon wasn't aware of how long he has been staying there, he also wondered if there was an assignment that he has to do. But he's Rin Okumura, and no he does not care too much about that.
Unless of course, a certain bossy-four-eyed-six-footer-batch-representative-se cretly-a-teenage-exorcist male would tell him to and there's no way that will happ-
"Nii-san." Speak of the devil's little brother. "Care to tell me why your cat passed out on the hallway?"
"Oh! Is he okay?!" Rin made a motion to stand and tend to his dear feline when Yukio held a hand up stopping him.
"He's fine. No need to get worked up. I already tended to him."
With that, the older twin sighed in relief.
Yukio walked closer and sat next to him. He faced up ahead. Now that he observed long enough, the view there wasn't that bad. Ever since they got here, he's been too busy that he didn't have the time to appreciate his surroundings. He always saw True Cross Academy as a large place filled with people and is quite chaotic from the hustles and bustles of the place. A soft voice caught his attention.
"It's good that you have the time to relax." Yukio turned to his left and saw Rin smiling up at him.
"Yeah... I guess I need to make time for that, specially these days." He replied with the last part spoken quietly to himself as an afterthought.
The older chuckled, "Of course you do!"
They were silent for a while. It wasn't awkward it was just... serene.
Though the external scene was solemn, it was the complete opposite inside Yukio's mind. He was sort of having a mental feud within him. Well, how can he not? He's practically sitting next to his twin who he shamelessly got off to earlier in the shower. Which was completely and utterly forbidden yet he still occasionally managed to coax himself into doing it even when it was wrong in every aspect. And the fact that he doesn't mind all that much to do it again was alarming.
Sure, Rin is exceedingly good-looking, an excellent cook, very caring, unconditionally loving, obliviously adorable, and all those other adjectives that makes a person attractive. But are those enough for Yukio to admit that he may be attracted to his brother; sexually attracted that is. And that was why he summed up the courage to come up here after that embarrassing and sinful yet fulfilling deed he has done earlier.
Yukio was still debating if what he's feeling was indeed attraction or was it just a phase. Seriously though, it wasn't normal to go through a phase wherein the object of your affection and lust was your kin. So that accounts for something that's worthy of this risk.
"Hey nii-san." He called the other.
Rin hummed in response but didn't look at him; too immersed in the skyline.
"What if I told you that I'm having a bit of a predicament?"
And that caught the smaller's attention. "What? What's wrong? Are you okay? Is there something I can do to help?" Rin stared at his younger brother with wide eyes filled with worry.
To have Rin close and looking up at him with such beautiful and innocent eyes, made Yukio feel bad. How could he possibly taint him with his impure thoughts? But if he doesn't act now, he'll never find out whether if it's really lust or love. Not knowing the answer will drive him crazy with clouded wonders.
"You can help, but please don't hate me..."
Rin smiled lightly, "Huh? How could I possibly hate you?"
"Because-" He leaned closer half closing his eyes as he stared down on those soft peach lips, "The last time I did this, you ran away."
The older was about to ask when he was held silent by another pair of lips overlapping his own. It was the act that baffled Rin for days now. Last time he kissed him, Yukio said that it was nothing special. Why would he do it again?
Yukio thought he would be disgusted or disturbed, but for some reason, the kiss felt fairly intimate even without any movement just their lips touching. As if this has been done more than it should. Normally, he should worry because he felt there's nothing wrong in engaging an incestuous act, which in all context is incorrect. But he couldn't bother himself with things such as morals and society views. Feeling Rin this close was more valuable than what other people think.
The younger planted their lips firmly, though he could feel Rin tense at the contact. But the fact that his older brother made no move to push him off and run away confided him to relish the contact further. And it certainly was something worth relishing. The warmth and comfort brought by the simple act made him feel that everything was alright. The clouds of confusion and the darkness of what seemed to be lust in Yukio's mind and being began slowly clearing, taming his inner tempests and revealing a calm night sky filled with serenity. He never felt so at peace.
He needed more, more of that contact, more of that sweetness. The familiarity of it all made his body move on its own like it wasn't the first time they will engage in an intimate act.
Yukio held on to Rin's shoulders and gently pushed him down onto the rooftop floor. Rin let out a surprised squeak that was muffled by the others lips. He knew that he should be pushing him away and say, 'No.' But how could he? Wasn't this what he wanted? For Yukio to love and want him? Of course he does, it's just that it seemed that the reason why he's not retaliating wasn't any of those; like he was held by something else. There's this voice in his mind saying that this was normal, this has been done before, and that it was okay to just give in and savor the touch. With that, he slowly wrapped his arms around the other's neck pulling him closer.
The next moments has been a blur for them, none of them were thinking. Their memories guided them.
Yukio licked the other's lips and Rin easily responded and opened his mouth letting the younger deepen the kiss. The smaller moaned, his grip on the other's broad shoulders tightened. No words were needed...
"..Hey... Are you gonna talk to me soon...?"
Bits of Yukio's dreams has entered his mind again, the difference now...was that it has voices. He craved more, it was as if the farther he go, the more that everything will be cleared. His large hands crept from Rin's slim waist to his chest. He gasped from the unexpected pleasure that flowed thorough him from being touched there.
It was like he was being tossed and turned by waves of water.
"It's the ocean! Onii-chan! Onii-chan! Look! It's the ocean!"
"Yes, I can see it."
Their lips parted for the needed air, then Yukio proceeded to tend to his neck, leaving kisses and playful licks that made him moan. The older twin pondered for a bit on why suddenly the thought of him calling Yukio: "Onii-chan" came to him? Though, he did do that once... when he wanted Yukio to spend time with him... but that was a long time ago... and that was for just one day... wasn't it?
"Why do you do that?"
"Smile at them even when their backs are already turned to you... isn't that just a waste of time?"
"I guess I do that because sometimes I wish when I look back, someone's smiling at me."
Those were the pleasant dreams he had. Yukio didn't know why, but those dreams made him feel light. The soft moans that escape the smaller man's lips seemed so right and familiar, lighting up every nerve inside him, waking him up for what appears to be a dream. It was as if this reality wasn't the reality that he knew, that something was covering up what really is.
Curiosity and need urged him to gather up the pieces, and what appears the way to do that... is to go further.
Yukio slid his right hand under Rin's shirt. He rubbed the soft nub coaxing it to harden. "A-ah..!" The older let out a startled gasp at the sensation. From playful licks and butterfly kisses, Yukio began to get a little rougher as he lightly nipped on the soft skin of Rin's neck making the other pant harder.
In the will to mark Rin, the younger man unconsciously bit harder earning a choked sob. It was painful, tears rolled down his cheeks while his nails dug more on Yukio's shoulder almost tearing through the fabric. Both felt pain for a moment.
"You can't hold on to me forever."
Of course, for every pleasant dreams, there comes a nightmare. They had woeful dreams filled with crying, arguing, confusions, and anger...
"Rin! Stop running! You almost got killed!"
"What does it matter!? I...I don't matter to you..."
But by the end of those, a facade of serenity came like those problems had been resolved.
Yukio unlatched his teeth on the skin and licked it gently as a sign of apology. Rin relaxed and eased his grip on his shoulders. The younger trailed further up and reunited his lips with the other in a slow and tender kiss. Yukio withdrew his hand that was under the shirt and with both his hands, he gripped Rin's wrists and pulled the smaller hands down onto the floor with each hand on either side of Rin's head. Yukio gently laced his fingers with Rin's holding his hands as they shared a sweet and savoring kiss.
He held Rin's hand tighter as if not wanting to let go. As if those nightmares will never come true. As if that the bad dreams will have a happy ending.
"You can't hold on to me forever."
But a nightmare will start and end as a nightmare...
"...but I'm not the one who's going to let go...
And happy endings only happen in fairy tales.
Pain. That was what was real. Everything else is just a wishful thinking. Yukio broke the kiss and panted. His heart and mind racing. Quickly he got up and ran back into the dorm leaving Rin on the floor in a daze as those blue eyes followed his younger brother and stared blankly on the door from where he went it.
Somewhere in the dorm, Yukio leaned back on a wall trying to catch his breath. He grunted in annoyance and frustration and clutched his head with both hands. He gritted his teeth. "What were those?"
All of those events, those words, and those emotions felt so real yet something was blocking him from truly discerning what those are.
Though one thing he became aware of.
"I have loved Rin..."
But the real question was, who will remember first?
I honestly never planned on updating this today. It's actually 12:30 am now and I have classes tomorrow(later) sigh. I don't know what came over me when I finished this chapter.
Sorry for mistakes and errors