LbN: Just something silly I had in my head. Enjoy! And if you don't know what Sugar's ringtone is, search for it on Youtube. It'll give you a chuckle. :)
Like most things in Santana's life, this problem started off with Quinn and Rachel's weekly bonding time. The two had hung out on Friday night, and when Santana met them for lunch on Saturday, Quinn had been giggling incessantly.
"What's wrong with her?" she'd asked Rachel.
"She's simply being silly," Rachel said. "She absconded with my phone and was surprised to find that my taste in music is rather varied, despite my vocal penchant for showtunes."
"Translation: I found Ludacris on her phone," Quinn said, grinning.
"Whoa, what?" Santana said. "Why?"
"It's a ringtone."
Unfortunately, Rachel's death glare had sufficiently silenced Quinn. The diva herself wasn't offering up any information, so Santana had been on a mission to find out for herself. She'd spent the rest of the weekend formulating a plan, and had enlisted the help of Mercedes, Sam and Brittany. They were to call each other at random points in the day and see what happened.
They met up at lunch on Monday.
"Sam's is Crazy Days, by Adam Gregory," Mercedes said.
"Mercedes' is Run This Town," Brittany said.
"And Brittany's is Miracles Happen."
"By Myra? The one-hit Disney wonder?" Mercedes asked, slightly disgusted.
"Okay, let's think about this," Santana said, distributing the Breadstix meals she'd ordered for everyone. "Every song seems to fit people's personalities…."
"And she stuck to brands of music we like," Sam said.
"Which means Ludacris is probably yours, San," Brittany said, smirking.
Santana waited until Glee before she called Rachel. The girl had had a super busy schedule this afternoon, so she was betting the diva had forgotten to turn her phone off after lunch.
It totally paid off.
I wanna, li-li-li-lick you from yo' head to yo' toes
And I wanna, move from the bed down to the down to the to the flo'
Then I wanna, ahh ahh - you make it so good I don't wanna leave
But I gotta, kn-kn-kn-know what-what's your fan-ta-ta-sy
"Santana!" Rachel groaned. The song was halfway through the first verse before she managed to find her phone in her bag.
Santana wasn't listening, though. She and Quinn were doubled over laughing. When Santana finally caught her breath, she noticed Rachel smirking at her and the rest of the glee club watching them with a mixture of amusement and confusion.
"What's my ringtone?" Mike asked, slightly afraid.
"Dancing through Life, from Wicked."
"Mine?" Tina asked.
"Innocence, by Halestorm."
"Acceptable," Tina said with a smile.
"Do we even want to know?" Kurt asked, nodding to Blaine
"Kurt's is It Will Rain, and Blaine's…" Quinn broke off, laughing.
"Oh god…." Blaine said.
"It's based on the fact that you used to be a Warbler, and you guys were sort of boy band-esque."
"Hit me with it."
"Hey Mr. DJ—Backstreet Boys."
"I'm going to need you to change that to an NSYNC song, stat."
"Uh, guys, can we start practice?" Will asked.
"One second, Mr. Schue," Quinn said, grinning. "They need to hear the rest."
"Oh, for Barbara's sake!" Rachel said. "Artie, yours is Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough. Sugar's is Kittens, Inspired by Kittens. Rory's is the Irish national anthem, because I was feeling uninspired that day. Puck's is the theme to Iron Man. And Finn…umm…I changed your right after we broke up and haven't—"
"Just tell me," he said, smiling.
"So What, by Pink."
The entire glee club cracked up.
"I don't understand why you guys are so giggly about Rachel's ringtones," Will said, amused at their reactions.
"Come on, Mr. Schue," Mercedes said. "If you picked up Rachel's phone, what would you expect to find?"
"Showtunes with a dash of opera," Rachel answered for him. "Let's just be honest."
"Exactly. But instead, she's got…all this."
"I felt it appropriate to match your personalities and/or what I think about you for your ringers."
"I could make a comment right now, but I won't," Quinn said, smirking over at Santana.
"Wait, what's yours Quinn?"
"It was You Learn, by Alanis Morissette, but she changed it," Rachel said.
"I felt this one was more appropriate," Quinn said, calling Rachel.
I'm a bitch; I'm a lover
I'm a child; I'm a mother
I'm a sinner; I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell; I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know, you wouldn't want it any other way
The glee club was rolling on the floor laughing. A few of them, quite literally.
"Anyway!" Will called. "Let's get started."
Santana sent a text to Rachel.
Told you I'd find out. Good to know you're a Luda fan, Shorty. And we'll be trying a few of those things in the song out later.
Rachel smiled, but kept her focus on their teacher.