My birthday present for one of my favourite people in the world, JoMoFan-Spot. Happy birthday my darling, and I hope this next year is so much better than the last!
Warning: This is based on Wade Barrett's KAYFABE character, mostly from around the Nexus time which is when this was set.
Mentions of rape, threats, ANGST
I whimpered as I felt a strong hand in my hair. I felt myself be pushed down to my knees, and closed my eyes, lowering my head to hide the tears already forming. The sound of the dark chuckle only made me take my bottom lip into my mouth, gnawing on it anxiously. I knew what awaited me, and it was terrifying.
"You've been a bad little slut," the obnoxious tones of Wade Barrett cooed viciously. I didn't reply, couldn't reply, knowing from experience that there was nothing i could say that wouldn't get me in trouble. I'm not a slut, have never been a slut despite the copious amounts of men and women alike that have hit on me since I really grew into my looks, but my 'boyfriend' liked to use the word, to justify the physical, emotional and often sexual abuse that he enjoys putting me though. I hate it, I hate him. I wish I could tell someone, but Wade has threatened me too many times for me to even consider telling anyone. He never threatened me; I've been through so much pain already in my life that he already knew that he couldn't do anything to me. He threatened my best friend for the last 20 years, and the man that I've had a crush on since I was 18, Jay 'Christian' Reso. Jay, for all of his bravado and manliness, is rather innocent still. He's still untouched, at least by cruelness to the level that Wade exhibits, and I will not allow him to be hurt-especially since Wade doesn't just want to hurt him, but break him-just to save myself. He sacrificed his body many times during our high school and early WWE careers to save me, and to protect me, so I'm going to do the same thing for him.
"I'm no slut," I snapped quickly, before I jerked my hand up to my mouth, my blood chilling at the realisation that I had just spoken back to Wade. A slow smirk spread across his face, and I just knew that I was in serious trouble.
"Really?" Wade asked calmly. Anyone without the benefit of experience that I had with him would have never heard the dark undertones, and would never have registered how serious the situation was. No matter how calm he was outwardly, he was pissed internally. "Well then I guess that we'll have to test that won't we?" I swallowed in terror as he crossed to the door, pulling it open to admit the members of the Nexus.
"Boys, this one thinks he's not a slut," Wade said, a chilling tone in his voice. "Now we all know that's not true don't we?" I didn't raise my head, not wanting to inflame the situation any more than I already had. Although, I doubted that it would make a difference since the Nexus had already been waiting outside the door. Dark chuckles erupted around the room, and I couldn't hide the shudder that racked my lithe frame. I didn't like what I suspected was about to come.
"He's all yours tonight boys," the accented tones of my boyfriend announced, my head jerking up to stare at him with pleading eyes. Wade just smirked and left the room, leaving me at the mercy of his stable for the night.
Two hours later, I lay unmoving on the cold locker room floor. The Nexus had left half an hour prior, but I just couldn't force myself to move. After the pain and humiliation that I had just suffered, I almost hoped that I would freeze to death. My mom would miss me, but she'd be better off without me. And Jay would be just fine on his own. Maybe he'd finally find someone, and without me to take care of he might be able to keep them for once. I hated how my neediness and clinginess always caused an issue between Jay and his boyfriends, but try as I might I could never let go of that link to my past. And really, on the road, Jay was my only link to home in particular. No matter where I lived, 'home' would always be where my mom was. To me, nothing was better than sitting at her kitchen table listening to her laugh as I told her stories about being on the road. I gave a soft sob, suddenly realising that if I froze to death here I'd never hear my mom's laugh again. Never see her smile, or feel her hug me. No matter what happened in my life, Ma's hugs always made things better. My lone sob gradually turned into a full out sobbing fit as curled up on the stone floor of the locker room I realised how pathetic my personal life was. My boyfriend was a sick son of a bitch that had no problems turning me over to his stable to be fucked like a slut in heat, my best friend couldn't keep a boyfriend because of me, and I hadn't been home to visit my Ma in months. The most important person in my life, the one I would always love above all else, and I made excuses to keep from going to see her.
I was so involved in my pity party, sobbing my heart out on the concrete floor that I didn't hear the door creak open, or the twin shocked gasps. I didn't see two sets of blue eyes eye me up worriedly, one a bright blue and the other ice, or see my two best male friends creep into the room. I did however hear the gentle, "Adam?" that fell from Jay's lips and I jumped instinctively, scrambling across the room to put my back against the wall just in case it was Wade come back to hurt me some more. The movement killed my lower back, and once I realised it was Jay and Randy my tears continued to flow, my knees coming up to rest against my chest and my arms to wrap around them, forming a wall between me and my friends.
"Shh baby," Jay soothed as he came towards me slowly, hand outstretched. I whimpered, and he stopped before he sat on the ground with his legs crossed smiling reassuringly at me. "It's just me and Randy." Randy followed him hesitantly, sitting with his own legs outstretched next to Jay. I buried my face in my knees, avoiding their gazes.
Jay continued to talk softly to me, my posture remaining tense throughout it but my head beginning to rise, my hair hiding my eyes when I gazed out at them. Jay noticed however, and smiled warmly at me even as he slowly moved forward. Randy followed his example, and the two of them shifted in slow increments, stopping whenever Jay noticed I was getting uncomfortable. Eventually my friends were sitting in front of me, and Jay hesitantly reached out to rest a hand on my knee, stroking the skin gently when I didn't flinch away.
"What happened Addy?" he asked softly. I instantly flinched away from his hand, and curled in on myself. I knew that it was just Jay and Randy, and I knew that they would never hurt me. But I couldn't shake this feeling of fear that hovered around me. I was scared because of what had happened, not because there were men in front of me. They were my best friends, and I knew that they were just going to be there for me. With that in mind, and the knowledge that I couldn't let Wade control me anymore, I opened my mouth to explain, but hesitated. The last few hours flew through my mind on instant replay, and before I could get a single word out to tell Jay and Randy what had happened a violent sob flew out of my mouth. Both men looked at me in concern, and when that single sob was followed by another, and then another, I couldn't help my instant reaction. I threw myself straight at Jay, curling my lanky frame up as best I could in his lap and burying my face in his shoulder. My body and my mind weren't focused on my fear. Instead, they were both focused on gaining the comfort that Jay had provided since we were 10. Every bump, every scrape. When I started wrestling, and it felt hopeless at times, it was Jay's lap that I inevitably found myself to. After we got into the WWE, Jay was the one who comforted me and loved on me, no matter what happened. When Amy and Matt broke up and the fans began to hate me, it affected me so much more than I ever let on. But it was Jay that picked me up and dusted me off, no matter that he was in TNA at the time. Jay would always be there for me, and as his strong arms wrapped around me now I knew that this time would be no exception.
"Shh baby," he whispered softly, reaching one hand up to stroke my hair gently, the other one rubbing my back. I wrapped my arms around his chest, my body heaving fiercely with the force of the sobs and no part of either of us caring about the fact that I was naked. It was just about giving, and receiving, comfort and love from each other.
After what felt like an age, I finally began to calm down, but I couldn't force myself to move away from Jay. His arms felt so good around me, and I hadn't realised how much of an effect the cold floor had had on my body. Jay was so warm, and I felt so safe in his lap. But as I began to come back to myself, I couldn't shake the feeling of being dirty and unconsciously I tried to pull away from the strong arms of my best friend. Jay however wasn't having that, and he just held me tightly until I relaxed in his embrace again. Dimly I heard the soft sound of the shower switching on, the water pattering lightly against the tiles. Jay groaned and stood up, struggling to his feet with me in his arms before he started to stumble through to the showers as I shifted my arms to loop firmly around his neck, Jay's arms under my knees and around my back. Lifting my head a little, I could see Randy standing there, a slightly dejected look on his face. My heart strings were tugged at slightly, and I wanted to wipe that look off my best friends face. I had known that Randy was in love with me for a long time, but I only had eyes for my Jay. The only reason I had ever started dating Wade was because he had threatened Jay's health and wellbeing.
When Randy noticed me glancing at him he offered a reassuring smile that didn't quite meet his eyes before I hid my face again. It meant a lot to me that he wasn't fighting for me, that he was willing to let me be happy, even if it cost him his own happiness. And clinging to Jay, feeling him stepping under the shower spray even still fully dressed, I knew that I was on the way back to being happy, no matter how long it took. And when I let out a soft involuntary giggle at Jay cursing when he realised he had forgotten to remove his cell from his pocket, I knew that he knew it too.
I knew that it was going to take a long time before I was willing to trust people again, and that it was going to take a long time before the lingering effects of Wade's abuse-especially the emotional and verbal abuse-dispersed, but I knew that Jay would be there for me no-matter what. And I hoped that through this experience, I would be just a little stronger, enough to gain the courage to love Jay more openly. And I hoped that maybe, just maybe, I would be able to show him how much I loved him. And to have those feelings returned would be a dream come true.