Rule 1: Learn and obey all the missionary rules
"You know what would be a good idea?"
"No," replied all the elders in unison barely looking up to respond to Arnold's question. They all knew that tone and it never promised good things.
"You know I'm going to tell you anyway."
He waited for a moment as all the elders sighed before continuing.
"Well you know all these rules we have to follow despite some of them being really stupid."
Elder McKinley raised an eyebrow. "Don't give me that look Connor you've broken a ton of rules!"
Poptarts laughed and patted his companion on the back. "He's right you know."
"Well," Arnold carried on with the same enthusiasm, "Let's make it our mission to break them all. Every single one. All 167 of them."
A silence followed Arnold's statement. "So how was everyone's day?" Elder Schrader asked.
"Oh come on guys! Don't tell me none of you have ever wanted to play basketball."
"Wait that's a rule?"
"Connor, you're supposed to be a knowledgeable district leader. Rule 56, but you're allowed to play half court, rule 59." Kevin Price, ex super mormon, still had every rule ingrained in him.
"That's so stupid," Elder Church intoned.
"The rules aren't stupid James they're there for a reason."
"Ha!" Arnold suddenly shouted. All eyes turned to him. "Elder McKinley you just broke a rule, 'always address your companion as Elder'."
"How is it that you can remember perfectly some rules but not others," Kevin asked genuinely inquisitive.
"Well that's rule 69 so I guess it kinda stuck." He giggled.
"I don't understand," James spoke for the group.
"Well you see..."
"No!" Connor cut him off beginning to blush bright red.
"You know what let's just do it," Elder Davis, who had been sitting in the corner contemplating said. "We could all do with a laugh and it's harmless. Plus this districts seen worse rules broken than mormons holding babies." He chuckled.
"That's a rule? You're not allowed to hold babies?"
"Seriously Elder Price, you didn't know that?"
"I must have missed that rule." He looked lost in thought as if remembering something with a vague look of worry. "Whoops," he said finally.
"I agree I want to watch some TV," Poptarts enthused.
"Are we all up for it then?" Arnold looked around the group, "Connor?" He probed.
Connor closed his eyes for a second. Despite being excommunicated from the church after the disastrous events a few months ago, the group had stayed on at the district and still considered themselves good mormons.
He did break a few rules though. Like rule 77, 'do not flirt', he broke that a lot.
"Why the hell not?"
Arnold grinned, regarding his district leader with a look of pride. "Ok Kevin, you're the expert. Where do we start?"