Hey guys. No, I'm not dead. I've been really busy. You have no idea. But here's an apology one shot for you. Warning, this story contains Advanced Shipping and death. Do not read if you aren't ready for it.

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Why? That's all I could ask myself. Why? Why was i so envious of him? Easy answer to that. The girl i loved was with him, not me. More difficult question now. Why did i have to go to such an extreme measure. An innocent life. It wasn't even his.

I killed his mother. I thought i had a good reason. She made him. If it weren't for her, he wouldn't be here. But then again, she, the girl i loved, would never have met me. I could have tried harder. I could have been kinder. Not a sore loser. I could have tried not calling her something bad. Or insulting every move she made. She was always so skilled. Why was i so stupid? I was too caught up in winning that i forgot that i was trying to impress her. I would become someone else. Make her sad. And all that did was drive her into the arms of him... How i hated him...

Ash. I always hated everything about him. His Pokemon. His hat. His annoying voice. The fact that he could beat me with his Pokemon without even breaking a sweat. That made her like him. His strength. Courage. Selflessness. Maybe the fact wasn't that i hated him...

He was always better. Better at winning. Better at fighting. Better at... winning her over. I was envious. How she would always wrap her arms around him. How he would put his arm around her when she needed him to. I could have... if i wasn't busy bragging. Once they split. Him heading to far away Sinnoh. Her coming to me. In Johto. I thought i could have a chance. But of course. I blew it. She went back to him. She competed with him. She loved him. She loved him like i wanted her to love me. But i got fed up with it.

At the connection of Johto and Kanto, i ran to Pallet Town... and i killed her. Ash's mom. I made it look so amazing. When he got home, i wish you could have seen his face.

It was when they caught me that i felt a bit of regret. But only a bit.

"Wake up kid." I heard someone say before shaking me. Idiot broke my train of thought. I felt something rough around my wrists, holding them behind my back. It felt like rope. I felt two hands grab my arms and start dragging me. The cloth around my eyes was yanked off. They pulled me towards an iron door. They pushed it open. The sudden light blinded me. I forgot the date. I was imprisoned for so long, i lost count of the time i was inside. They dragged me down a long walkway, bleachers on both sides of me are completely silent. Every single eye is watching me, watching my expression. Watching my worry. Watching my breath... and waiting for it to stop.

As we get closer and closer, my feet dragging against the cobblestone, i feel a sudden rush of fear. Then a smile creeps across my face. How long is this walkway? It seemed to drag on for miles... I tried to make the walk go faster, lowering my head, perhaps to try and fall asleep. The man on the right grabbed my head, yanking me up, making my green hair fall back. Sleeping wasn't an option. I guess i would have to just wait. Then we reached the center. The bleachers formed a circle around me. I could feel the fear building up inside. The men dragged me to the platform in the middle. I looked ahead of me. I saw them both. Ash and May. Both with anger and despair in their eyes.

I couldn't help but laugh. Seeing both of them be so sad. At this moment even. I would expect them to be wearing such an ecstatic expression, they wouldn't be able to keep still. They seemed as if they had no one around. They didn't pay attention to the man trying to push his way past them. Or even the fact that one man next to me was yelling at them.

"Ash!" He yelled again. Ash came back to his senses. "Would you like to do the honors?" Ash shook his head "no" and grabbed a hold of May's hand. "Any last requests or words?" He then asked me. I smiled. Looking straight at Ash.

"Stop being so dramatic!" I yelled at him, making everyone gasp. "This is revenge, isn't it? You two should be laughing! Smiling! Hell i know if i were in your position, I'd be throwing a party because of this! You don't deserve to even watch this! You'll turn your heads away at the last second! You're weak Ash! You don't deserve a girl like May!" I was laughing hysterically. In my mind, i was a comedian. Making everyone laugh at every word i said. In reality. No one laughed.

"This is it, Drew." I heard May say softly. "After today, i won't be afraid anymore... The reason i'm frowning is because... I never wanted this to happen to a once good friend. I can't believe i once liked you..."

That's when everything fell into place. May did once have feelings for me. But because of jealousy, i will never experience holding her hand, wrapping my arms around her, or even kissing her... I wanted to change everything. I wanted this to all be some screwed up nightmare. But it wasn't. I felt the rough band lower over my head. It wrapped around my neck. I saw out of the corner of my eye, the man putting his hand on a lever.

"No stop!" I tried to yell. "May!" The lever started to move. "May! Please listen to me!" I heard the click of the lever. "I only did this because i lov-" That was it. The rope fastened against my neck. The floor fell from under my feet. I fell with it. The rope choked me. Cutting my breath. There would be no mourning me. I'd be missed the same amount as a plague. My breath was shorter and shorter. I squirmed and shook.

No use.

My breath stopped.

My skin pale.

My body went limp.

My hearing was the last i had.

I heard a few cheers and clapping from the audience.

At last.

I was dead.