Author's Note: This chapter will be focusing on Gitneki's side of the story. The next chapter with be with Gintoki. Please enjoy this chapter.
Recap: Gitneki sees the new world as a new home and seeks to enjoy his new life by trying to adjust to his alternate self.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama or the characters.
Pairing(s): Gintoki Sakata x Toshiro Hijikata or Gitneki Sakata x Toshiro Hijikata
"WHERE'S MY RENT YOU DAMN PUSHOVER?!" Otose yelled angrily as she chased Gitneki, along with Shinpachi and Kagura, on his small moped. Catherine also ran with Otose, and Sadaharu chased after the Yorozuya trio.
Gitneki swerves through the crowds of people and looks over his shoulder. He curtly apologizes as he shyly waves back at the landlady. Kagura growls at the albino and lectures him on how he should respond like the original Gintoki. She chews on a piece of sour seaweed in her mouth as she roughly pats Gitneki's head. Gitneki whimpers submissively trying to think of what his alternate would say. An idea soon came. He glances back at the landlady who was decreasing the distance between.
"Sorry about the rent old hag, but you know it's the perm's fault. Blame the perm, alright!" he yells back while holding up a hand with a thumbs-up.
The Yato girl slapped Gitneki on the back as the sign of her approval. She tells him that Gintoki couldn't have done it better himself. 'Keep it up like this, and we're going places kid,' she says.
"I'm pretty sure Gitnoki-san won't be pleased about us taking in complete strangers," Shinpachi pushes the glasses up the bridge of his nose.
"Hah?" Kagura lefts an eyebrow glaring at Shinpachi, "Gintoki will be proud of us!"
The alien grabs Shinpachi by the collar and pulls his face close to hers. Kagura rapids shakes him, and then lefts him off of his feet. She positioned him over her head while standing on the moped. Shinpachi eyes bulged and then started to squirm in the alien's grasp. She swiftly chops him on the back of the neck, which caused him pass out. Picking him up once more, she held him if she was holding a baseball. Kagura set her sights on the landlord.
"OH, hey old hag! Take this as our rent! Our sacrifice, yup!" Kagura smirks sadistically towards Shinpachi's body.
Catherine runs in front of Otose to shield her, however it was too late. Kagura had already thrown Shinpachi with such power that her knocked both of the women down. The collision itself knocked them out, so they were sprawled out on the street with Shinpachi resting on top of him.
Suddenly, loud sirens sounded in the streets as the Shinsengumi were hot on their tail in a police car. Toshiro was leaning out the window thrashing his katana wildly. Okita was controlling the steering wheel. Sougo sped quickly at the moped gaining more momentum. Hijikata took the cigarette out of his mouth and took a stressed out puff. He mumbles about not having any off days and how much he wanted rest. Sougo blandly states that he could give the man a wish come true. Toshiro internally groans, and declines the other's offer.
"It's only a one time offer, and I'm feeling quite generous vice commander. Accept this as my affection for you," Sougo pulls out a handgun and aims it at Hijikata's head while driving.
"I don't want your damn affection! I want those speeding lazy asses caught!" Hijikata moves the gun away from him and make it point at the moped.
"I'm hurt by that vice commander."
"Go die in a ditch Sougo," Hijikata sticks his head out the window looking onto the target.
"No Hijikata-kun, you go and die."
Sougo veers into the wall of the buildings on Toshiro's side. The said man ducks back into the car cursing at his companion. Okita merely shrugged it off. This only infuriated the vice commander more.
"Just cut through the alleys and cross ahead of them to make them stop."
"Aye aye," with that Sougo steered a sharp left then right. There were fewer people on the streets, but Sougo made no effort to dodge them. They ran over the unlucky citizens in their way.
"Idiot, we are supposed to move around them."
"Hijikata, they are old enough to know not to be in the road when a car is moving on it. Plus, we can just tell the families that they died honorably. They were fine sacrifices to catch the criminals."
Hijikata grunts and shakes his head as he takes another puff of his cigarette. 'This kid is a lunatic…' Sougo cuts back into the road the Yorozuya were on. They were ahead by many blocks, but the moped was coming closer and closer.
"Okay, aim your bazooka at them Sougo."
"Hai," Sougo takes aim and prepares the weapon for fire.
As they gotten even closer, Sougo glances at Hijikata who was focused at the incoming enemy. Hijikata hears shuffling behind him, but ignores.
"You better get a good shot dumb ass."
"Oh I am vice commander."
Hijikata felt an instant chill run down his spine but did not let it show. Turning his head, his eyes instantly widened. The bazooka was aimed at him and Sougo was pulling the trigger. He dived down instant as the trigger instantly pulled back. Gitneki saw the weapon steered into an alleyway to around the shot. Unbeknown to the Yorozuya, Sougo pulled a blank. Toshiro glance up as he didn't hear a bang. Sougo was slapping his bazooka
"Seems to have malfunctioned…" Sougo mumbles as he inspected the weaponry.
Toshiro signed gratefully that it did, he got up and looked around for the lazy trio. The results: They were gone. Hijikata scowls and contacted Kondo that the enemy gotten away and Sougo's weapon wasn't working. Kondo had given his orders to return back to the base. They turn and left to go back home. Far away, the Yorozuya were riding the moped, but slightly slower. The Shinsengumi were defeated without the use human cannonballs! Kagura gives a cheeky grin for their small victory. The Yorozuya were safe for the time being. They continued for a few minutes, and slowed down to a casual speed.
"H-h-hey is everything okay b-back there?" Gitneki states, not bothering to look behind them. 'These people insane! She's so scary!' The albino internally cried.
"Yup" Kagura grins and she contently munched on the seaweed as she leans against Gitneki.
No rent was paid that day.
Side Clip 1:
Hijikata opened the door to Sougo's room and grunts "Oi Sougo, the commander wanted to know if the bazooka working?"
Hijikata reflexively dodges the shot. He looks back into the small room seeing steam coming from the said weapon. Sougo grins at him and aims the bazooka again.
"I need to make sure it is." With that Toshiro took that as his cue to run for his life.
Side Clip 2:
It was around dusk when Gitneki, Kagura, and Sadaharu returned home. Kagura decided to let Sadaharu go out for the night. Sadaharu trotted back to spot were the untouched human pile on the street get Shinpachi's body. He picked him up by the head and chewed on it slightly. Blood oozed from the boy's skull from where the dog's teeth sliced the flesh. Sadaharu barks, dropping his prey. Then picks Shinpachi up in his mouth completely and races into the night.
Gitneki speaking without looking up from his manga, "I keep think we are forgetting something."
"Nope, not at all," Kagura clicks on the television.