"Mission: to write a collection of one-shots featuring the most impossible Pokémon pairings."

Important Note: Although this is a collection of odd pairing one-shots, and many other fictions following the same pattern do take requests, please note that I do not take requests. I'm lazy, and I'd be afraid to promise a chapter that I couldn't write. But don't let that deter you from offering any suggestions for strange pairings––I do accept all ideas from whoever is kind enough to offer them, though I may not use the ideas directly.

A Note From Uzu: I was originally going to post all these separately, but I really didn't want to have a bunch of 1000 word one-shots beneath my profile to make the scroll bar tinier. I decided to combine them all into one large fiction––this will include twerp-and-cohorts ships only. Since I love the Rockets much more, I'll be posting their crazy pairings as a different fiction.

Be warned that this will include pairings of male/male, female/female, Pokémon/Pokémon, and Pokémon/human. Perhaps even Pokémon/inanimate object or human/inanimate object. There will be no blatantly sexual scenes or activity––be surprised if I write two characters in a deeply involved kiss.

To start this off crazy, have a short mild Jenny/Joy scene.

CloneShipping: Officer Jenny X Nurse Joy

"Here's your Pokémon," Joy brightly announced, leaning over the desk and cupping a small Poké Ball in her palms. "It'll be just fine. Just make sure you take it easy for a while."

Considering her suggestion, the young boy peered into the distance; his eyes focusing, the clouds of thought scattering, he nodded decisively and accepted the plastic ball. "Thanks," he murmured, struggling to tuck the Poké Ball into the satchel that dangled from his belt. Without further word, he turned away, ambling toward the large exit doors and still engrossed in returning the Ball to his knapsack.

The loud slam of the doors closing resonated in the empty hospital building, the rumbling sound echoing from the white tile flooring to float as a tinny hum to the high ceiling. With a drawn-out sigh, Joy pressed her elbows to the counter, dropping her smooth chin to rest in her hands. The lobby of the Center was a pleasant place, but Joy always felt more at ease and comfortable when the chairs lining the walls were occupied by chattering people and their Pokémon.

Her blue eyes dusky with boredom, Joy shifted her weight to rest on one foot, the sole of her slipper squeaking against the waxed floor and her hip jutting. Idly, she crossed her ankles, staring through the smudged glass of the door as if awaiting the arrival of a new patient.

Her empty gaze slowly traveled downward, and with some spark of interest, she regarded the book of appointments that had been spread on the counter before her. A long list of names had been neatly printed on the lines in her own painstakingly perfect handwriting, each coordinating with the time of their scheduled visit. She slipped her finger beneath the page, thumbing through the leaves of paper until a soft thump arrested her attention.

She glanced up, her strawberry blonde pigtails bobbing with the motion. Upon recognizing her visitor, her face became lifted by a pleasant smile.

"Good evening, Officer Jenny," she greeted, lowering her head in acknowledgment. Her white cap nearly topped from her crown, and she quickly straightened, adjusting it back to the center of her head.

Jenny laughed lightly, raising her hand to grasp the firm bill of her own cap, lifting it politely. "Likewise. How's it going?"

Refusing to admit her lonesomeness, Joy clasped her fingers against her stomach, a demure grin bending her pink lips. "I've been fine. It's running a bit slow today."

"Same here." Jenny's harsh, characteristically loud voice betrayed her disgust. "I haven't had a call all day."

Risking offending the policewoman, Joy nervously scratched her manicured nail against her white cheek. "Isn't that good, though? People call the police when something's gone wrong. No calls means nothing's happened around here."

Jenny watched her for a long moment, her eyes hard and steely with an oddly appraising darkness. Finally, as if confirming some hidden suspicious, she gave a bark of appreciative laughter.

"You're a character, Nurse Joy," she decided, tugging her expression into a catlike simper. Sniffing back her amusement, she curled her gloved fingers around the belt strap that hugged her shoulder and offered Joy a quick, snapping salute.

"Well, I guess since there isn't much to do outside, I'll hang around here for a while." She swaggered as she sauntered toward the row of chairs, hooking the toe of her shoe beneath the rung and jerking the chair out. She seated herself clumsily, plopping to the cushion and crossing her legs. Her skirt pulled up her thighs, revealing a greater amount of smooth flesh to Joy's unsuspecting eyes.

Joy felt almost nervous with Jenny around––the officer was raucous and gruff, almost masculine in behavior. Joy herself was delicate and gentle, traits which were essential when caring for timid creatures such as were Pokémon, and she would not deny her femininity. But she wondered if the mixture of emotion that crowded in her belly was intimidation of Jenny––a nagging fear of her rowdy, no-nonsense attitude.

Anxiously, Joy retrieved a pen from the cup of writing utensils, pressing her thumb against the red healthcare symbol emblazoned on the side. Draping her arm over the surface of the appointment book, she hastily scrawled "Jenny" through one of the empty slots. She furtively squinted at the clock dangling from the wall; frowning, she wrote "3:30" beside Jenny's name, rolling her wrist and ending the number with a flourish.

"What're you doing?" asked Jenny curiously, and Joy started, the tip of the pen scratching across the paper. Tentatively, she looked up, self-consciousness prickling behind her forehead as she realized Jenny was closely watching her. Joy discreetly coughed, returning to her book and doodling a poor caricature of a Totodile in the corner of the page to busy her shaking hand.

"Me? I'm just checking off some of these appointments." She hummed softly, tapping the nib of the pen against the counter contemplatively. She was absorbed in her attempt at appearing active, acutely aware of Jenny's presence, and she didn't move from her drawing until a long shadow engulfed her.

"Nice picture," Jenny drawled, a note of sarcasm dampening her words. "Is this what you do all day?"

Shocked by Jenny's demeaning question, Joy swiped her hand to the side, dropping the pen in its holder before folding her arms over her large chest. She glared at Jenny through her curly fringe of rosy hair, an accusing glint in her eyes.

"I told you, Officer Jenny, today's been slow," she retorted firmly. "At least I haven't been sitting down for the last hour."

Taken aback by the small woman's sudden show of attitude, Jenny blinked, a smirk twisting her mouth into a parody of approval.

"Very good," she said, wiping her finger through the air as if marking a point on a scoreboard. "Spunky. I like that."

Horrified by Jenny's carefree impertinence, Joy helped herself to a step backward, her heels clapping against the floor and the strings of her apron fluttering behind her back. "I beg your pardon?"

Rather than giving a satisfactory answer, Jenny turned to leave, the set of handcuffs jingling from her belt as she strolled briskly toward the doors. She lingered for a moment, her palm resting on the handle, only her back and unruly blue ponytail betraying her thoughts.

"See you around, kid." With that final, gruff farewell, Jenny pushed through the door, leaving behind a heavy sense of content in her wake. Helplessly, Joy watched her depart, guilt nudging her mind––she regretted having defending herself. If she had kept quiet, Jenny would still be lounging in the padded chair, cracking her gum between her teeth and swinging her feet.

Longingly, Joy leaned over the counter, resting her cheek in her hand. Only the steady ticking of the clock made her remember that the time was drawing nearer for her to attend to another appointment. Standing straight, she slowly closed the heavy book, tucking it beneath the crook of her arm as she meandered into the empty operating room.

A Note From Uzu: Cliché personalities? I know, the girly-girl and the tomboy. But that was inevitable––the glorious show of Pokémon is not famous for its developed characters or their deep backgrounds. That's why it can get hard writing minor characters while keeping them true to themselves. There just isn't much to write about Joy or Jenny.

Before anyone gets upset, remember that my goal is to write the strangest pairings. Before leaving any tart reviews, please realize that I fully know that these pairings will never happen, are impossible, are weird, are stupid, etc. That's kind of my goal, here. But thank you in advance for any reviews––I will answer all of them.