Weird little thing floating in my head again. Aiming for a dark comedy, we'll see what happens.
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS, "The Hangover" or "I Love Lucy"
A searing pain rips through her skull as she opens her eyes to greet the morning. She slowly sits up on the couch where she slept last night, pain erupting from her head as she does so.
"Oh God….Tony, wake up" She rubs her temples as the man also previously asleep on the couch sits up. His head pounds like the running of the bulls going on between his ears.
"Whoa, what happened last night?" Tony asks, his voice coming out harsh.
"I don't remember." The woman informs, usually she knows everything, but here she doesn't. "I remember watching movies, eating pizza and booze, a lot of booze." She states, putting her head between her knees as she sits on the couch.
"You ok Abs?" Tony asks.
"…Yeah…" She says, breathing deeply and sitting back.
It was then that they take in the scope of their escapades last night. Pizza boxes, take-out containers, DVD cases and booze bottles littered the floor.
"We tore it up last night…" Tony states, moving slowly into the kitchen. Abby stands up slowly and follows him.
"That's great." She goes for a glass of water. "I think my brain is going to explode"
"Just let me whip up the DiNozzo cure-all for hangovers!" Tony smiles.
"Is this going to be like the movie "The Hangover" where they find out they did all of this crazy shit?" Abby's eyes grow wide. "I don't remember what happened last night" She states. Tony rubs his chin.
"Neither do I…." Tony mutters and goes to the fridge. "I need a lime, pure vodka and ounce of nutmeg…" Tony says into the fridge.
"Really? You're worried about the hangover when we can't remember what we did last night? What if we robbed a bank, tipped over an ice-cream truck, assassinated the president or worse…" Her mind was running at its usual pace of a thousand miles a minute. Tony shuts the fridge door.
"Really Abs? what could be worse than that?" He asks, leaning up against the fridge with a lime in his hand.
"…What if we went to Gibbs and broke his boat…." She mutters. Tony's eyes grow wide.
"Oh shit…we gotta figure out what happened last night!" He drops the lime and they sit at the kitchen table of his apartment.
"Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok" Abby tries to clear her head. "We got together for our usual movie nights" She starts off.
"Right, and we had a really rough case so we needed to blow off steam." Tony fills in.
"Yeah and we invited everyone here for some drinks and a movie" Abby says.
"But McGoober and Ziva wanted to head home, Gibbs was too stressed and Ducky was going to stay late." Tony adds.
"That seems about right, why do I remember a kangaroo?" Abby asks. Tony looks blankly at her.
"I don't know!" Abby throws her hands up in the air. "What do you expect?" Tony chuckles.
"Nothing less Abs" Tony looks at his hands. "I've seen this movie!" Tony stands up. "Quick we need to look for any wild animals!" He darts into the living room like a cheetah on fire.
"Shit!" Abby starts to throw aside couch cushions and tear the place up.
"See anything weird?" Tony calls from his bedroom.
"Nope, you?" Abby replies.
"No." Tony appears out from the hallway. "You know, maybe we did just have a lot to drink and just pass out on the couch" Tony shrugged.
"You're right. It certainly wouldn't be the first time" Abby shrugs. Suddenly Tony's phone starts ringing.
"Maybe we called it too soon…" Tony gulps and answers it.
"DiNozzo!" Gibbs snaps.
"Here boss" Tony replies.
"DiNozzo" Gibbs snaps again.
"I'm right here boss!" Tony yells.
"Damn it DiNozzo!" Gibbs yells and hangs up the phone. Tony pulls his head away from the receiver.
"That was weird…it's like he didn't hear me or something" Tony explains to Abby who has a puzzled look on her face. Suddenly her phone starts to ring.
"I'll explain it to him." She says as she looks at the caller ID.
"Yes Gibbs?" She answers.
"Abby?" Gibbs asks, his voice not as harsh on the phone but worry starting to seep through.
"Yeah I'm here. Something must be wrong with Tony's phone…" Abby starts to say but is cut off by Gibbs.
"Abby! Abs!" He calls not hearing her.
"Gibbs. I'm right here!" worry starts to rise in her gut as Gibbs ends the phone call.
"What's going on?" Tony asks.
"Maybe a cell phone tower is down and we can receive calls but no one can hear them." Abby tried to rationalize the situation.
"Well try and call him back" Tony states. Abby redials Gibbs' number.
"Busy." She states and closes the phone.
"Great now he's all in a panic and will round up the whole team to come over here." Tony flops down on the couch. Abby sighs and sits down next to him.
"I can see it now: "Toooony! You gots some esplainin to do!"" Abby mocks the "I Love Lucy" television series. Tony laughs.
"And of course he won't do anything to you, his precious little angel!" Tony laughs and Abby throws a pillow at him. "Hey!"
"I know he has a soft spot for me but I'll never forget that time he tanned my ass for the whole Mikel thing." She states, pouting a bit.
"We all wanted to tan your ass after that one!" Tony smirked and got another pillow thrown at him. They both started laughing. When it settled down Abby got quiet, something rare for her to do.
"You know what's weird, usually after a hard night of drinking I can't remember anything at all. And here I remember things as if they happened yesterday all except for last night." She states.
"Yeah, me too. How much did we drink anyway?" Tony asks.
The local police officers take pictures at the crime scene just as Gibbs, Ziva, McGee and Ducky arrive. Gibbs dashes his way past the yellow tape, sidestepping broken glasses and bottles to get to the officer in charge.
"I demand to know what is going on here!" Gibbs shouts.
"Sir, I have to ask you to stay behind the tape" He guides Gibbs back. Gibbs tries to put up a fight but he can't he can see the couch and the two figures on it from where he is standing and he gives up trying to fight. It was something Ziva and McGee never saw in him before. The deprivation of will.
"Sir, I am a medical examiner and we work for NCIS" Ducky explains. Ziva and McGee scramble to pull out their ID's. The police officer sighs, having dealt with them before. "We need to know what happened to our friends and co-workers."
"Simple enough. Ruled alcohol poisoning. Looks like the victims drank too much." The officer explains. Gibbs looks to Tony's trashed apartment, bottle upon bottles of every brand of wine and hard liquor were strewn about. Beer bottles, both intact and broken are lying haphazardly around the place.
The zip of the body bags was harsh on Ducky's ears as they were concealed. He has heard this noise many times and usually he's impartial to it. Now it's as if a thousand knives are being gouged into his heart.
"You were the ones that called right?" The officer pierces the noise to say to the distraught navy team as their eyes stay fixed on the body bags.
"Yes." Ziva states, her eyes unwavering from the two bags as they are lifted and put on stretchers. "Tough case we just wrapped up. Former Navy officer turned child murderer." Ziva's voice is cold.
Gibbs and the team are silent as the stretchers are pushed past them. The cold figures of very special agent Anthony DiNozzo and forensic specialist Abigail Sciuto lie just underneath the cold plastic.
"I see. Well we'll keep in touch. I suggest you all go home and get some sleep" The officer redirects the team out of the apartment. On the way out the officer kicks a stray bottle with his foot. It rolls to the team and stops at Gibb's feet; the kangaroo symbol of the cheap wine faces up.