Original story based on characters created by Andrew Hussie and fanon created on MSPAForums. No for-profit ownership is claimed over them.

Not long after the premiere of Troll!Cops' second season, MSPA Studios brought on acclaimed comics writer Carlos Lazaro to pen the story for a non-canon OVA to help the series appeal to a more mature demographic.

The result of this effort was the Troll!Cops: Crabface OVA, a four-episode series focusing on the violent rise - and even more violent fall - of Karkat and his Carcino Gang. Featuring a gratuitous amount of violence and profanity (even by Troll!Cops' violence and Karkat's ornery demeanor) and the deaths of established canon characters, MSPA Studios faced a massive backlash from viewers' advocate groups and was forced to recall the OVA before it hit the shelves.

Although Lazaro reworked the OVA's last sequences to end on a more hopeful note, MSPA Studios sacked him and seized the rights to Crabface. In an act of retribution, Lazaro quietly leaked all four episodes of the OVA to GrisTorrent before leaving, garnering Crabface a cult following. Lazaro has since disowned himself from the work, although MSPAS have offered him repeated opportunities to work on the next feature.

The following is the OVA's novelization.

Saint Andrew's Orphanarium

"Situation is code 2 at Casa Vantas. Containment has been set up in a 5-mile radius."
"Copy 4-Echo-13, don't turn your back on those bodies. Lab crews should be there in about 10 minutes."

It's a cold, clear night in this sad, old part of town. You're also pretty sure it's also pretty damn quiet out, even though your ears are still ringing from the SHOOTOUT only minutes ago at what was once the NITRAM MANOR. The only thing you can hear apart from the ringing and the wind blowing through these dark, gritty streets is the sound of your own sniveling.


It must obviously have something to do with the THREE CORPSES piled into the back of your ACPD SUV. It's a good thing nobody noticed the way you drove it like you stole it from the 20,000 square foot CRIME SCENE among the city's mansions to this grandiose yet tragic old building bordering the projects. You had to, since you and your partner were the first ones to arrive at the scene of the bloodiest KILLFEST that New Alternia's seen since the days of the GREAT SUFFERING. Right now your partner's making sure the backup's cleaning up all those corpses in the mansion. Keeps all the unwanted heat off.

But there is one person you want to notice you, as you pound on the front door on the building and beg for the one troll you know is inside to answer.

After wearing your hands damn near numb from literally knocking on wood, she answers the door, clad in a slightly shabby nightgown that seems ill-fitted to her royal demeanor. She doesn't seem happy that you woke her up from her sopor slumber, but once she sees what happened to you she gets a look on her face like someone dropped a live wire into her ablution chamber.

"T-ER-EZI! W)(at the s)(ell brings you- w)(at the s)(ell )(APP-ENED TO YOU!"


You'll have plenty of time to explain the different colors of dried blood on your arms. And that's not counting the blood on your uniform, which under this light remains too dark for anyone to make out. The one thing that she can see, however, are the TURQUOISE TEARS leaking down your face from behind your GLARE-BANS.

")(old on! -Explain w)(at!"


You lead her to the back of your SUV and POP THAT TRUNK. You are immediately overwhelmed by the scent of fruit punch gone bad, and without licking her you can tell that it's overwhelmed her too.

"OH D-EAR COD NO." The orphanarium's mother superior GAGS, having been taken COMPLETELY AGHAST at the sight of what you've inventorized in that CLASS LEADING CUBIC FOOTAGE. "They're D-EAD! W)(y...)(ow could you..."

Three FAMILIAR CORPSES in DISTRESSINGLY FANCY CLOTHING have been rather hastily piled up behind the rear seat of your SUV. Were they not DEAD, the way you arranged them might have vaguely resembled some kind of ARCHAIC TROLL MATING RITUAL. However, there is no time to dwell on thoughts of preparing for the arrival of the Imperial Drone.

"I'M SORRY. I TR13D TO STOP THEM BUT..." Instead your thoughts dwell mainly on the fact that you couldn't save your moirail from his doom.

Or rather, you would have been certain he was doomed did you not - in desperation - turn to the one troll you knew had a chance at saving him and what's left of his only friends in the world from their demise. The one troll who'd known all four of you more intimately than your rap sheets since you were first taken into the orphanarium from the pits.

Now Karkat Vantas, Nepeta Leijon, and Gamzee Makara are all dead, and as the fourth, you've taken it upon yourself to come groveling back to Feferi Peixes for forgiveness.

But she's thinking the same way - and not liking any moment of it.

"No. Get t)(em out of )(ere. You s)(ouldn't )(ave gone..." she says, tears mixing in with her anger.

"COM3 ON, M1SS P31X3S!" you plead, "I COULDN'T L34V3 TH3M TH3R3!"

"But did you )(AV-E to bring t)(em )(-ER-E, codclammit?" she snaps back, suddenly as panicked as you are. In the state you're in now, you couldn't possivly have noticed that was a predictable reaction to having the mangled corpses of three loved ones dropped off at your own doorstep. "W)(at if someone FOLLOW-ED you!"

"I H4D TO DO SOM3TH1NG!" If this keeps up, you might end up noticed by more than just Miss Peixes - even though the "neighbors" might not be surprised by the sight of more dead trolls slumped across their sidewalks. "PL34SE...YOU H4V3 TO DO THE L1F3 TH1NG..."

"No, Terezi! I )(AT-E to say this...but t)(hey KN-EW w)(at t)(ey were getting into." Feferi takes a moment to compose herself, before grabbing your shoulders gently. "I'm sorry it )(ad to come to t)(is. I don't even know if I could if I wanted to..."

You know she won't. The fact weighs you down like a SAFE FULL OF BOONBONDS, and drops you to your knees.

Perhaps through having to deal with so many of her own gone bad despite her best efforts, she can at least genuinely sympathize. "I'm sorry. I know we tried but..."

"OH GOG. 1 JUST..." You don't have to taste your tears as you lean on the SUV and try to wipe them away from your eyes.

"It's over now, Terezi...it's all over..." she says, as reassuringly as she did in those literally dark days before you learned to see by taste, "Look, I'll )(elp you find a place to bury t)(em but...you )(have to let go."

She embraces you, but the feeling just isn't there.

"NO, NO! 1T C4N'T 3ND L1K3 TH1S!"

As you cry on the shoulder of the only one you can trust, consumed with unfathomable sorrow, you wonder how it all ever came to this. You know some of this is your fault, you know you could've done more to stop them. You don't know how much of either was yours.

But the one thing you definitely know is that you saw all of this coming. And as you try to figure out how to deal with the consequences, you try to remember - to see - how it all came to this.

How Karkat Vantas grew from a lowly, suffering street thug to the most powerful gangster in all of New Alternia - if only for a moment. How all that power and fame tore him, his friends, and the city's crime syndicates apart.

And how you were only able to get to him after all the sick fires had burned everything away.

To Be Continued...