Lying there frazzled and breathless and bristling with unresolved anger, Alexis' tablet pinged thirty minutes later. Hoping it was finally a message from Josh, she rolled over and searched for the data pad, finding it underneath the bed.

You will leave now. Rim will take you wherever you will want.

Leave the cat.

Alexis stared in disbelief at the message until her door chime went off. Dragging herself up, she pressed the button to open her doors. Rim looked down at her frowning hard. She lowered herself on her knee plates, glancing inside Alexis' small quarters.

"It seems we have been kicked off the ship. How soon until..."

Alexis turned around and picked up a a bag with her already packed essentials. Grabbing the feline off her bed, she placed the resisting cat back in the case she had come in.

"I'm ready."

"Then let's go."

Alexis nodded her head, not sparing a look for all that she left behind.

Alexis didn't know what to make of Rim upon meeting her, and knowing what the femme did with Sunstreaker made things between the two awkward. But as they departed the Ideal a weight lifted off her shoulders and chest and heart, the resentment toward Rim dimming in comparison to the feeling of escape that made unfamiliar long buried optimism resound through her body.

Then Alexis found she couldn't stop the uplifting of her mouth, no matter how hard she tried to.

"He'll come looking for you, you know." Rim left her small shuttle's helm, turning to face Alexis, who sat on a chair's armrest that afforded her a more upward view.

"I don't know what occurred between you two." Rim cringed and twitched with a show of discomfort, her orange optics blinking, dimming then reigniting. "And since I doubt it had anything to do with me..." She paused and watched Alexis carefully. Rim frowned and plopped down in the adjacent chair, letting out a shrill exhale of air. She sighed. "Perhaps I shouldn't have pursued him like I did. But I have been who I am so long that when I meet people like you, it makes me remember what an opportunist self-serving piece of slag I have become."

"It doesn't matter," Alexis said genuinely, her eyes momentarily placed on the streaks of stars outside the only view port, of space that expanded outside the ship, that consumed it whole.

Rim listened to her soft words, a sympathetic nature making her mouth tug down. "You're glad to be away from him," the femme voiced as if not believing.

"Yes."

"Then I suggest you get as far away from him. And me." The femme leaned forward. She pressed her mouth tightly together before speaking in earnest. "I'm going to be honest with you, Alexis. I have some unsavory mechs that have been searching for me, and once they find me..."

"Perhaps if you went to the Autobots, maybe..."

Rim choked out a laugh at that, her arms circling her beautifully colored chassis, the glimmer of gold dancing along her servos.

"They are my own men."

"Oh."

"And while I wouldn't mind ending half of them with the excuse of protecting you, I rather like the others, miscreants all of them." She shrugged her wide shoulders, her optics glittering with misplaced gaiety as she repeatedly tapped her lovely digits against the armrest. "Plus they do provide a barrier of protection for me, which, when one isn't enthralled by Megatron and his cause, does come in handy," Rim let Alexis know, something in her tone reminding her of Sunstreaker. The focus on her own survival, the unrepentant selfish nature, it wasn't as unsettling as it once was, letting her understand how desensitized she was becoming to such behavior.

Rim stood up and stretched slowly. "I'm going to recharge. I recommend you do the same. Tomorrow I will drop you off at a neutral space port. It's best to go where you want on your own. I tend to attract..." She smiled a crooked smile, which dropped into a frown when she caught Alexis' unflinching eyes. Whatever reasons she offered, Alexis understood clearly that Rim was in a hurry to get rid of her. "The unsavory sort." Rim momentarily paused when the door slid open, her next words severe, accusatory, free of all previous cordiality. "And, Alexis, if you don't want to see Sunstreaker again, I suggest you take necessary precautions. Because as I said earlier, he will eventually come for you."

Shivering, sliding her way off the chair when the femme left, she moved underneath a darkened section below. Taking her bag, Alexis put it under her head and let the cat out of its crate. Alexis didn't sleep though, her thoughts explosive. And when she bumped into Thundercracker several days later, and then met his medic, she finally had the answer of why Sunstreaker had kicked her out.

She was pregnant.

And she hated Sunstreaker more than ever.

It took three weeks until her family was on board Thundercracker's ship. Josh and Sharaih came along on the journey with someone she definitely didn't expect. Josh's wife.

Yes, they had been out of touch for quite some time, but her brother wasn't one to just jump into things, and as Cynthia awkwardly hugged Alexis after Josh did, only to return to her brother as they held hands, Alexis knew that things between them had to be going on for a while.

But Cynthia of all people? The female who had chased Sideswipe while she was with someone else? Who had quite the reputation even before she left the ship? It was incomprehensible. Despite her induced silence, her brother didn't have to try hard to guess Alexis' thoughts, however lacking her response was.

"You're shocked," Josh understated, his free hand swiping through his hair that was lighter than when she had left, his skin now tanned. He exchanged a look with a nervous looking Cynthia. Her gaze repeatedly returned to Alexis, a form of spite in her gaze, a suspicion, a fear, as if Alexis was going to do something, or tear the two apart. Alexis stared at Cynthia until she averted her gaze.

"And I'm pregnant," Alexis blurted out, meaning to say something else entirely, her dissatisfaction at their arrangement muddling her brain and words. But it was Josh's life. She knew that. And she had been holding onto those words since she first contacted Josh on Thundercracker's vid-relay.

Sharaih acted first, her hand going to Alexis' forehead, her arm, and then resting on her belly.

"Airaih's." Her niece whispered with awe, yellow eyes shimmering with wetness. "I had hoped..."

"Airaih," Alexis said again, the sound of her husband's name leaving someone else's mouth always leaving her with a sharp ache. What rested in her belly turned the bitterness into a profound contentment of circumstances. Now a part of Airaih would always be with her.

Josh hugged her again, a flurry of words and questions and concerns voiced, Shariah leading them all to a place to talk, Cynthia giving the three space.

Alexis had almost forgotten how nice family was.

Alexis didn't leave her quarters often. Only to see the medic, to go to her brother's provided quarters, to eat. She hardly ever saw Thundercracker. Sharaih stayed with her and kept her company. Picking up where they had left off as Alexis continued to learn the Vildan language.

She didn't know if it was her pregnancy, or them not seeing each other in a while, but Sharaih had become more talkative, speaking of their family history, of her own upbringing. Alexis did notice, however, that her husband's name was bypassed quite frequently, allowing her to see that despite the customs that kept females and males apart on Renth, Sharaih had obviously been close to her Uncle.

"There is a reason that females and males are kept apart, especially when the female is expecting child, or her provider is not... around." Sharaih told her many days later after a message came that TC was wanting to speak to her, after her niece made sure her brother went in her place. "Your desire to be with a male, to mate, is magnified, intensified. It is best to stay away from males that are not a family member during this time, to deflect unnecessary complications, to not hurt your son with someone who won't understand your disposition, or the treatment of you and your needs during this time."

Now she knew why Sharaih tried to keep her in her quarters, blocked her from TC and other men. The medic had already told her to expect an increased sexual drive, and while it wasn't uncommon for her species already, supposedly the instinct was worsened by the Vildan genes that were now growing inside her.

Alexis had hoped it was just Sunstreaker she felt such things toward. But traveling through several different space ports, an overwhelming inclination to touch, and feel and place her hands on certain males had left her avoiding the sex all together.

Thundercracker was different though. It wasn't just about lust, about physical needs, but something much more personal. She wanted him to hold her. To talk to her. She wanted to know more about him. It was a conflict with what she knew about him. And while she did forgive him for the past things he had done to her, there was too many other things that made him a dangerous complication that was best left unknown.

He took care of her. He was now taking care of her family. Just what she told him she didn't need, but knew she desperately wanted, but couldn't allow to continue. They would separate in a week, and then she would learn how to take care of her own self, and her son, and her family.

Thundercracker's ship was not as dark as The Line's had been, or what she would have expected of a Decepticon warship. It was clean and organized and smelled of metal and rubbing alcohol. The decorations were sparse, yet its equipment and electronics were advanced, the provided quarters comfortable. And Rivet, the medic on board, was once more a welcome relief of kindness and vast knowledge.

It took her several days of staying there to realize that there were no Decepticon symbols on display, not one. Even his squadron did not have the emblems. But Thundercracker still had his, and that was enough to remind her exactly what sort of space vehicle it was, which was in conflict with how quiet the ship was and how peaceful, an unexpected comfort of safety.

Since her family's arrival, Alexis had been having trouble sleeping. Another effect of her pregnancy. She could have taken pills, but she refused, remembering how she had become attached to them after her husband's death. So every night before she tried to sleep, she walked around the ship's silent corridors, trying to become familiar with the rooms and the position of things as she got rid of her energy.

She passed a room with light coming out of it. Walking by, she saw even more lights sparkling from the corner of her view. She continued to walk, went to the very end of the hallway and turned back around. When she passed the room this time, the door was wide open.

It was the stellar cartography room. Alexis would have known that sooner if not for how everything looked the same, how confusing the corridors were.

Thundercracker was inside. His hands moved and drew on the empty air, causing the lights of the simulated star system to grow further around the room.

He knew she was there. TC paused, and didn't continue until she entered the room. Alexis hadn't been alone with him since that time outside the medical quarters. She should have left, but as he rearranged the digital stars and planets with smooth gestures and long digits, she found herself fascinated. He bent down and offered his hand. Alexis hesitated, then climbed onto his palm. He let her down on a higher platform, his hand remaining nearby as he stared at her silently before backing away, giving her a better view of the realistic star system.

"This is where we are?"

He backed up further, pointed forward, then moved his hands toward each other, everything coming closer together.

"It's beautiful," Alexis whispered, finding that she was watching the elegant movement of his hands far more than the actual celestial elements. Swallowing hard, she began to speak out of awkwardness, out of a familiar want that reminded her of the error of entering the room at all.

"Your ship is so peaceful," Alexis gushed, hands going through her messy hair, feeling his attention on her even through he wasn't even looking. "Not at all what I expected from a Deception warship." She cringed at her choice of words, at the ugly animosity it exposed.

"Sunstreaker's ship was beautiful," she continued, truly wanting to stop. But she was quite stuck where she was, and couldn't seem to move, or look for a way out. "But there was something... wrong about it, something not quite right. Probably his presence," she reasoned, once more hating the blame and anger that colored her words.

"I almost... I almost... with him..." Alexis told the Seeker out a nervousness, out of a strange need to tell someone. She just never meant for it to be him. She blanched and her mouth went dry. "And I hated him. I hated me when I was with him, and yet... He was so terrible. And I wanted him so badly," Alexis continued to speak, vexed by her inability to shut up. Thundercracker was watching her now, his face impassive, his optics dim. If only he would have stopped her, left the room, something. "And even though I am told it didn't mean anything, I still can't help but feel such guilt. I miss Airaih. I love him, and yet..."

His digit touched her forehead, warm and soft and tender. Lifting away sharply as if a regret, his optics lowered down her body, settling on her stomach. Taking his digit again, she brought it to her belly. A flicker of shock danced through his otherwise unaffected features, his head bending even closer. She dropped her hold on him. He immediately pulled his hand back.

"You have a future now," he told her, his gaze reflecting the stars that continued to dance around them. His voice was warm and his gaze was soft. Her heart thumped soundly.

Baffled by his perceptiveness, it took her a moment to respond. "Yes. I do." Alexis nodded her head. He was close, too close. She felt flushed and hot, felt a little dizzy, her legs no longer solid feeling.

"You're having difficulties sleeping again," he stated.

She nodded her head. He was more aware of her activities than her own family. Alexis felt the hairs on her arms bristle, a bracing chill wind up the middle of her back.

"Do you mind if I stay here and watch for a while, I... it's..." Alexis stumbled on her own words. She desperately wanted to leave. But the desire to stay could not be overridden.

He nodded his head, took three large steps back and continued what he was doing, as if she hadn't interrupted him. But there was something forced in his once fluid movements, a stiffness that made her aware of his awareness of her.

Alexis tried to watch the hovering stars, the luminescent moon, tried to find interest in the path he was marking, not him. But her eyes worked their ways from his pediforms, along his legs and cockpit, beyond his trim arms, hovering on the sharp curves of his wings. Terror came that made her heart race, her memories creep and then explode with a barrage of things she just couldn't forget about him.

She was in danger. He could kill her, kill her family, he could...

He stopped his movements. His optics found her eyes. Gone was that gentleness of before, that thin layer of defense that had probably been for her sake, melting away to a raw intensify that made her belly clench and her breath stick in her throat. That was when the fear mutated, a chemical change in her brain misdirecting the horror of whom she was with and what he had done to a far different reaction all together.

And as he continued to look at her, as he came closer and bent his head to analyze her, she stepped toward him. Her hand went along his defined chin, fingers moving along his mouth. A subtle vibration came off his skin, making the flesh on her right arm hum. Alexis lifted on her tiptoes.

He inhaled sharply, optics bright.

"I... I should go," she sputtered out, suddenly horrified by what she wanted, by the things she knew he had to be sensing.

"Yes." He picked her up, and put her down just as quickly. "Now." His wings cut through the air behind him. He followed her all the way to the exit, only to disappear behind the swiftly sliding doors, his optics never leaving her form.

Breathing heavily, Alexis had to lean against the wall for several long minutes until she could walk again.

Her brother and Cynthia were slowly acclimating to the Deception ship, Sharaih, however, remained vigilant, staying by Alexis as if to ward of any male interlopers. Alexis wanted to tell her niece it was unnecessary, but her reaction to Thundercracker proved that exceedingly wrong.

Now as the four ate their lunch together, some kind of cold soup and crunchy bread, small vegetables that looked like a mix between a carrot and a cucumber, she recognized that she still had people around her that cared, people that were worth living for.

Cynthia and Josh sat at the far end of the table, talking and laughing among themselves, touching a lot.

Thundercracker provided far better food than Sunstreaker did. She felt far safer with him than she ever did with the Autobot. And she really needed to stop comparing the pros and cons of the two, it just seemed wrong. But it was certainly better than watching the romantic gestures of her brother and his new wife.

Alexis cringed. Still not used to the sight. Not wanting to get used to the sight. Cynthia was someone she just couldn't get. How her brother could commit to someone so morally unsound, frustrated her. True, Cynthia acted different, seemed different. And her brother obviously adored her, was happy because of her, and that was a sight that she hadn't seen in some time, something, that for his benefit, made her want to try to...

"Stay."

Her thoughts so focused on her brother and sister-in-law, she almost didn't realize that the voice was Thundercracker's and that it was directed at her.

"I took care of you before. I want to take care of you again."

Heat burned her cheeks. Sharaih got up as if to push the large Seeker out of the room. Josh caught her eyes. She had had several long talks with her brother. He knew all about Thundercracker now, and while he didn't trust the Seeker, he respected the changes that he had witnessed in the former Con. Josh trusted him enough to allow them to stay, to travel, to go where they were going, to...

"I want to be taken care of, but it's time I learned how to do it myself," Alexis spoke up, catching his optics then looking away by what she saw there, the now familiar depth of emotions searing.

She exchanged glances with her brother. He gestured toward the door, grabbed Sharaih and Cynthia and left the two alone, making sure she knew he would be right outside if she needed him, his eyes purposely directed toward the weapon that hung on her hip and his own. As if they could really fight the Seeker, on his own ship of all places, as if...

"I could become Timothy again..." he spoke, his words ending with the breath of Tim, who now walked toward her. "For you."

Alexis peered behind him, eyes on the unmoving Seeker that hovered above them. Her limbs locked, and her oxygen escaped her, a tightness budding in her chest when she returned her eyes to Timothy.

"Stay." He spoke again, his light words anything but. Gray eyes found her own. He stepped closer.

Dropping her spoon, the nervousness of before came back as if a itch, making her want to get away from him and what she might have the misfortune of saying, or doing. Standing up and stepping away from the small table, Alexis maintained the distance between them.

"I don't know you, TC. But I do want to know you despite everything and this... This bothers me," Alexis told him honestly.

His mouth tightened into a line, even as his eyes softened dramatically. His compelling gaze dipped down toward her belly. He swallowed hard.

"If it is because of your current state, I..."

Alexis cut him off, her tone turning frantic, almost bitter. "I can't stay! We can't be together...TC... Thundercracker," she amended, even as it was Timothy that stared at her, that stood before her. But her mind was allowing her to see the difference, no, allowing her to see they were the same. "Not now. Not ever. There is too much between us that I can't forget, too much of what you are and what you have done that horrifies me!"

He appeared anguished, conflicted. But as she continued to watch him, so implacable, so in control, she was sure she had imagined it.

When he spoke his words were hollow and low, carefully constructed and intonated, "We don't have to be together for you to stay. Let me protect you. Let me protect your family."

Her rib cage tightened, her heart hammered. Together. Not apart. Being with him... Alexis had imagined it before, when he was still Timothy and she was still on Earth. She had cared for him once, maybe even loved him. Could do so again, and so easily, no matter who he was, especially if she could force herself to forget what he had done to her, to worlds, to species. Even when she had been Thundercracker's slave there was something different about him, something good.

But too much had taken place. Too many tragedies and misfortunes. When she replied, her words were gentle but direct, "You can tell yourself that now. But they way you look at me... I know what it means now."

His mouth tightened. TC spoke firmly, as if she was a child in need of careful instructing, as if there was nothing between them, nor that heat that had grown so swiftly between them. "I can go. You can stay. I..."

Alexis interrupted him, his attention thickening on her with her tone of voice. He didn't look at her like Sides or Sunstreaker had, but something that held such layers of intimacy with it that it cut her, reminded her of her husband. "No, no! Don't you see? This is still a Deception warship, and you... And you." She threw her hands up. "It's just impossible. I stayed because of the medic, because of the protection you provided my family as we travel to our new world. I am grateful for all this. But I need to grieve. Need to come to terms. I have deflected long enough. I still love Airaih. Still miss him. My life isn't my own anymore. And everything I do from now on, will be for the future of my son."

"I cannot allow anything to happen to you," he told her with steeled determination.

Alexis forsook her resolve and extinguished the space between them, taking hold of his hand. He stared down at where her hand held his own and paled.

"I have to live, Thundercracker. I want to move on."

"You don't need me," he whispered to her as if he understood but didn't want to, his low tone allowing no one else to overhear. He stepped closer to her. His fingers went to her chin, slowly ghosting along her throat as if to memorize how she felt before the contact dropped away. His eyes met her own. "But I find that I need you."

Her eyes welled with tears from the distress of his words, the anguish that made his gray eyes darken with suffering. His entire continence changed in the blink of an eye, emotions giving way to a rationality that drained away his displayed sentiment.

"Do not despise me too much for this," TC finally spoke up. "When I am with you, I sometimes don't know who I am. I forget who I was." He frowned down at her. "I will not forget you." His fingers brushed her tears away. "But you should forget me."

Alexis shook her head, threw herself on him and folded her arms around him into a hug. The tears were flowing now because she was starting to understand how much she was going to miss him.

"I will never forget you, Thundercracker," Alexis vowed against his shoulder. How far they had come that she could say that. He was stiff, unresponsive and silent but she didn't care.

Slowly, gradually, his hands moved and stilled behind her back.

They were leaving. Already packed, the only thing that remained was taking a shuttle down to their new planet.

Josh was ready to return to their new world. He may have not of gotten a chance to become a missionary, but now he had a chance to preach the word as humanity rebuilt from scratch. He already designated them pioneers, his childish glee from what they were about to be a part of contagious.

Given equipment and schematics, it wasn't until that very morning that Alexis found out that Rivet was going to remain with them.

"Frontier medicine, what could be more exciting than that?" he said, with the same excitement that Josh displayed. Alexis was starting to wish she could feel more inclined toward such optimism. But she was working toward it.

"They will know that you worked with the Decepticons," Alexis warned him. They had had too many personal conversations for Rivet to just be her doctor, and she his patient. "It will be difficult. It's difficult for me and I am not even.."

"I may have worked for them, but I wasn't one of them. And I never hurt a human. I have much to offer, and I refuse to let my first human patient remain unattended, especially with a mixed species pregnancy. I am accustomed to difficulties. They only prove to highlight my strengths." He told her with a surety of pride. "And nothing can be as bad as working for Starscream," he added.

"Then I will see you on the surface."

"That you can be sure of."

She helped her brother and Cynthia load things, and it wasn't until the shuttle was prepped by one of Thundercracker's men that she realized what she was waiting for.

No, who.

He didn't show.

And when they landed on the surface of their newly designated homeworld, her eyes remained on the battle cruiser above, expecting what, she didn't know.

Joining the other humans, they re-welcomed her brother and Cynthia and her, then Rivet, which really didn't go over well when someone recognized him. But that was resolved better than she would have thought, left for an arranged meeting in the morning.

Taken to a small, log-like cabin, Alexis was given a personal tour of all that her brother had accomplished since she had been gone. Eating a quiet dinner, it wasn't until later that night that she thought to go outside, to look up at the sky.

Thundercracker's ship was gone.

"He's going to the Frintaw sector," Rivet spoke up from where he sat on a boulder, his optics clear in the darkness. "It's a three year journey just to get there," he let her know.

A gust of cold wind scraped against her cheek, a rustling of foliage, her hair flew around her, exposing her neck as the new smells of the planet drifted around her. She shivered. Her head dropped, her mouth flattened, her heart thumped soundly.

"He'll be back though," Rivet added.

Alexis felt as she did when she woke up under the gazebo free from the Seeker base, a little terrified, very confused, and so hopeful that it made her flesh crawl from the weight of it.

Her heart trembled with renewed excitement for what was to come, of the hope that resided in her belly. Of knowing that this time her freedom wasn't an illusion, this time it was the truth.

Taking one last glance at the empty sky above, saying goodnight to Rivet, Alexis turned around and took lighter steps toward her, and her son's, future.

AN: I didn't mean to take so long to post this, but since it is the last chapter, I wanted to make sure it met my expectations, and hopefully, didn't disappoint.

I have decided to split this up into a new sequel: The Firm Grip of Reality. So for those loyal readers who have made it this far and wish to continue on this odyssey, please look for it in a week or two.

I hope you the reader found the characters interesting and the story diverting. If you would like to sound off, since this is the last chapter of this installment, I certainly wouldn't mind.

Thanks for reading! shortlived