Awkward Phonecall

Rating: M for phonesex and swearing.

Summary: Kaidoh gets a very awkward phonecall from Momoshiro.

A/N: Forgot to upload this one to my FF account. This story happens in the same universe as my fic 'Inviting Misunderstandings', but both are stand-alone fics.

Kaidoh walks out of the bathroom, his hair still damp and pricking into his eyes. As he approaches his room, he can hear his cellphone ringing. He enters, slides the door closed behind him, making sure to lock it, and reaches for the cellphone laying on his nightstand. He looks at the screen and it reads; Dumbass. Kaidoh suppresses a grin and picks up.

"What do you want," he says immediately, appearing to sound angry—but he's actually quite giddy.

"Yo, Mamushi!" says Momoshiro cheerfully. "I called you twice you know, what the hell took you so long to pick up?"

"I was taking a bath, you idiot."

"Oh," is all he can say. "You're not wearing that ridiculously tight black tank top, right?"

Kaidoh's cheeks turn pink and he hides his face into his hand, despite Momoshiro not even being in the same room with him. He is wearing that 'ridiculously tight blank tank top'. There isn't anything wrong with it ... though he does remember what happened the last time he wore it and Momoshiro was around.

"I'm not," he ends up saying.

He hears Momoshiro scoff out loud on the opposite end. "Sure you're not."

Kaidoh sits down on his bed, playing with his wet hair. "Why are you calling me?"

"Do I really need a reason?" asks Momoshiro and Kaidoh can just imagine him rolling his eyes right now. "Fine, I'm bored. I've got nothing to do, I'm just lying in bed right now, staring at the TV."

"If you're bored, then call someone else, you dumbass," says Kaidoh while frowning. He lifts his legs up and swings them across his bed, then props his back up against his pillow.

"You are who I call when I'm bored, asshole!" he immediately retaliates.

"I don't exist just to cure your boredom, stupid."

"Well, you certainly weren't complaining this morning," mutters Momoshiro.

Kaidoh turns pink again, and he sinks into his pillow, embarrassed at the memory. Hearing Momoshiro mention it so casually always makes him feel shy and embarrassed.

"Which, as I recall, ended prematurely," adds Momoshiro.

This makes Kaidoh blush even more; stop talking about it already! He doesn't like it when he's confronted with it so directly, he just prefers it to be something they do and never talk about. Except Momoshiro is a blabbermouth, and likes to mention it at the most inappropriate times and places. Well, not that his bedroom is inappropriate, and suddenly memories of Momoshiro spending time in his bedroom floods through his mind. Kaidoh shifts his weight around on his bed uncomfortably.

"It's your fault too, Mamushi," says Momoshiro.

Kaidoh growls. "How is it my fault?"

"You pushed me too hard against the rack! How the hell is it not your fault? The entire thing fell over and everyone came in to see if we were alright."

Kaidoh covers his face up again with his hand. "Shut up," he mumbles.

"It's not fair at all, leaving me hanging, and just when we got to the good part too ..."

God, why can't that idiot shut up? Now he's thinking about it again, and it's making him feel weird and embarrassed, and slightly turning him on. Just slightly, from the memory. Momoshiro suddenly keeps quiet, and Kaidoh presses the cellphone harder against his ear; he hears some weird noises. Sounds like fabric moving around.

"What are you doing?" Kaidoh asks right away.

He can hear Momoshiro move around a bit until he answers. "Well, someone's gotta finish the job."

"That's disgusting! You fucking pervert!"

"I don't care," says Momoshiro a bit annoyed. "It's your fault in the first place."

"No it's not," Kaidoh mumbles. He listens to Momoshiro moving around on his bed, and he can't help the images that appear in his mind. No, no, he can't think of that! He's not a horny pervert like Momoshiro is. "And stop ... doing that! Do it when we're off the phone."

Momoshiro stops shuffling around. "Nah, this is actually sort of helping."

"Well, I don't want to hear you do it!"

This prompts Momoshiro to ask, "what, you can hear it?"

Kaidoh's cheeks are stinging with red, and he refuses to answer. He can hear Momoshiro softly breathe against the phone, and sometimes he hears something scuffling in the background, but that's it.

"Say, what were you doing while taking a bath?" asks Momoshiro.

"Nothing that you would do," Kaidoh snorts.

"You're no fun at all," whines Momoshiro. "Hey, that reminds me of that time when we—"

"Shut up," Kaidoh cuts him off. He knows what he's thinking about, and Kaidoh doesn't want to remember. Stupid horny Momoshiro. He can hear more sounds coming from Momoshiro's side, this makes Kaidoh swallow and his heart starts to race; he's really doing it? Isn't he? Why the heck does he have to do it while on the phone with him! Momoshiro should just hang up already and leave him alone. Then again, he could also press the red button himself ...

As if Momoshiro suddenly realizes this himself as well, he chuckles into the phone. "Hey Mamushi, you still haven't hung up on me. Is there something you're not telling me?" he asks smugly.

He certainly isn't doing anything, that's for sure. "I'm not doing anything," says Kaidoh. Except he's sort of gotten half hard by now, but Momoshiro doesn't need to know that. He won't give him that satisfaction.

"Well, I am."

This makes the blush spread from his cheeks across his entire face. To hear him say it so bluntly, so Momoshiro-like ... damnit, stupid Momoshiro—it's like he's messing with him, and knows exactly what to say to embarrass Kaidoh. Not only that, his erection is eagerly growing as he continues to be on the phone with that horny idiot. Kaidoh tries not to pay attention to it, even though it's getting pretty uncomfortable.

"I bet you're blushing right now," says Momoshiro. Kaidoh digs his face into his hand again, thank god he's not actually there. "Ahh, I want to see you," he muses.

Shit, why is he shaking right now?

"Instead of calling me, you could have come over instead," says Kaidoh quietly.

"Heh, what's that Kaidoh? You wanted me to come over?" He can just imagine Momoshiro smirking against his phone right now.

"Shut up, I didn't ask you to call me."

"Well, it's too late now," murmurs Momoshiro. "I'm already ... well, I'm sure you can hear it."

And Kaidoh can; he can hear the sound of skin rubbing against skin, and it's making Kaidoh's heart beat faster, and pumping all the blood to his hard-on, which is now fully erect. Great, now he's turned on. Ugh, stupid Momoshiro, why couldn't he have just come over instead? Then they could both shut up and get physical.

"So what were you planning on doing if I came over, huh?" asks Momoshiro.

Kaidoh grips the phone tighter in his hand. "I'd kick your ass," he says as a matter of fact.

Momoshiro laughs out loud, and it sends funny shivers down his spine. "Well alright, after you're done kicking my ass?" He can hear the strokes of Momoshiro's hands, and it makes Kaidoh shiver again.

"I'm not doing this," says Kaidoh as he shakes his head. It's just too awkward and embarrassing. He can manage when they're quiet and simply grinding against each other in a secluded space—but actually talking?

Momoshiro sighs. "Fine, asshole." He can still hear the rubbing of skin. "Then I'll tell you what I would do; I'd rip that stupid tight tank top right off your chest."

"Bastard, don't ruin my clothes," snaps Kaidoh.

"I have to—you just kicked my ass, remember?"

Kaidoh simply hisses.

There's a small soft sigh coming from the other side, and Kaidoh's cheeks burn red again. "You know, that really helps," says Momoshiro.

He hisses again, unintentionally, and he can hear Momoshiro move his phone a bit, and the sound of friction is growing louder. "Stop that!" Kaidoh growls, his heart beating so fast it's painful. "It's disgusting!" Yet it turns him on.

Momoshiro huffs on the other side. "Yeah well, I don't see you hanging up or anything. That makes you just as disgusting as I am."

"Shut up," says Kaidoh straight away. He tries to avoid looking at his shorts, at the way it's pitching a tent, and at the way it sometimes twitches when Momoshiro talks.

"You're free to join me, you know, it'll make me feel like less of an ass."

"But you are one," Kaidoh snorts. "A horny ass."

"That would be really insulting, if it weren't for the fact that you're the one who makes me horny," points Momoshiro out. That sort of hits the mark, and hearing Momoshiro state it so clearly and with a straight voice makes Kaidoh turn into a pile of mush, sinking deep into his pillow. His fingers are itching to ... itching to ...

"I'm not doing anything, though," he adds quietly. But he really wants to now, stupid Momoshiro. Why can he make him feel this way just using his voice?

Momoshiro takes in a deep breath, then softly lets it out. "I bet you were doing something alright in the bathroom."

"I wasn't!" cries Kaidoh. He honestly didn't!

"What, you don't do it in the bathroom?" asks Momoshiro, suddenly curious.

Kaidoh closes his eyes. "No, that's nasty." Ugh, why are they even talking about this?

"The cleanest place on earth, and you find it nasty?"

"Because it is the cleanest place on earth, you moron. I don't want to dirty it or something." Seriously, there's no need to talk about this ... it's weird. They could be doing other things instead, if they were together that is.

"Well ... then ... you should probably not use the toilet seat in your house anymore."

"Huh, why's that?"

Momoshiro says nothing, and he simply hears him fap faster.

"Shi—are you serious!"

"Uhm, yeah," chokes out Momoshiro. "What, don't look at me like that—it's your fault! That day you just kept on touching me, and kissing me, and ugh, do you really think I can withstand all that for the entire day and not do anything about it?"

"Shit, you're seriously repulsive," says Kaidoh, and now he's horrified of using the toilet seat now. Maybe he'll just have to buy a new one.

Momoshiro snorts. "Whatever. That's what happens when you tease me all day long. Asshole. Learn to finish what you start."

"I just won't do anything at all anymore then," says Kaidoh in return. It's a total lie though; Kaidoh knows he'll crack once he sees Momoshiro begging for him, and then he'll throw any ill-wishing thoughts to the side and ... well ... they wouldn't need the phone anymore, that's for sure.

"Yeah right. I bet you're not doing anything at all right now as well."

Kaidoh's fingers pull back from his shorts and he feels as if he's been caught. But it's not like Momoshiro can see him or anything. "I'm not," he says indignantly.

"Keep telling yourself that, Kaidoh," says Momoshiro with an amused voice. There's a loud noise coming from the phone as Momoshiro moves it around, before it quiets down. "Sorry, had to switch hands."

That's too much information, but Kaidoh's bursting to do something himself as well. Kaidoh grips the cellphone tighter in his hands, then looks down at his shorts—and fuck, he might as well.

"Fine," says Kaidoh begrudgingly. "Fine," he repeats. His right hand lowers to his shorts, and he wedges his fingers underneath the hem.

He can hear Momoshiro take small and short breaths. "Finally," he says. "Took you long enough."

"Shut up," breathes Kaidoh. His fingers meet with his very, very hard penis, it's extremely warm and completely erect. This really does feel awkward though, having Momoshiro on the other line, doing the same. Not to mention that they're talking, and that's something they never do when they're together.

"Hey," says Momoshiro all of the sudden.

Kaidoh starts to slowly stroke himself underneath his shorts. "What."

"Your door is locked, right?"

"Fshuuu, of course it is," he says while blushing harder. "It always is."

"That's good to know. Wouldn't want anyone walking in on you with your hands down your pants," snickers Momoshiro.

"They won't, and I'm not!" Except, he totally is.

"Haha, you're way too much fun to tease, Kaidoh."

"Ugh, shut up already, you idiot."

For a little while, Momoshiro does shut up, and it's silent, very quiet, except he can hear the friction of both of their hands. That nauseating fapping sound. The quieter it becomes, the more he's focused on those sounds, and he becomes overly self-conscious about it. This is really awkward, and so much more different than when they're doing it to each other. At least then he's too much into it to be thinking about weird sounds, but when it's just his hand, alone in his room, it just feels really weird.

Though that doesn't mean it isn't rather exciting, what with Momoshiro's breath hitting the cellphone, and he hears it loud and clear. But still, it's too quiet and uncomfortable.

"Say something," says Kaidoh. He rubs the top of his penis with his thumb.

Momoshiro lets out a breath that could be described as a tiny moan, and fuck that really turns him on. "Kaoru," says Momoshiro in that really scratchy voice of his.

Kaidoh's penis throbs with blood, and he strokes it faster. "Not that!" he says quickly, despite actually sort of liking it.

"Hmm, why not?" asks Momoshiro. He can hear him stroking faster, and Kaidoh tries to match his pace.

"You can't say my first name," replies Kaidoh. He watches how his shorts move around frantically as he goes up and down, and up and down.

"Tsk," says Momoshiro. "Don't ruin my fun. You can call me by my first name if it bothers you that much."

Kaidoh tries not to imagine calling out his name as he comes, but now the image is already in his head. "I won't," he says and licks his lips.

"Try it," says Momoshiro as he takes in a sharp and quick breath. Kaidoh's feeling lightheaded just by listening to the small sounds he makes.

"No," he breathes out. "That's embarrassing," he adds.

Momoshiro tries to laugh, but it's sort of hard when he's already gasping for air as it is. "God, you really are an idiot. What the hell do you think we're doing in the first place?"

Kaidoh's in denial. "I'm talking to you on the phone."

"No we're not, we're having phone—"

"Don't say it!" interrupts Kaidoh. His face feels like it's on fire, it's just so embarrassing to think about, much less say it outright. He doesn't stop rubbing himself though. "Fine, you can say my name, as long as you don't say that out loud."

"You're really making me regret not coming over, you know?"

"What, why?"

"Because I'm sure your face is really red right now, you always look so fucking hot when you're blushing."

If it's even possible, Kaidoh blushes more after hearing Momoshiro say that out loud, it's sending weird pulses down towards his penis. He won't admit it out loud, but, he goes crazy whenever he hears Momoshiro admit something like that, to know just how much he wants him. It feels fucking fantastic, to be wanted by him, to be able to turn him on—regardless of in how much embarrassment he himself is.

"You should see yourself, you're always biting your lip when you're enjoying something," Kaidoh admits.

"Hah, I'm biting right now," says Momoshiro in a rushed voice.

Kaidoh can see the imagine in his head so clearly; Momoshiro on his bed, stroking himself as he bites his lips, while leaning his head against the cellphone. It's almost enough to tip him over the edge, but he wants to enjoy this a little bit longer. Yeah, he admits it, even if it feels weird and awkward, he's enjoying this. He'd rather him be here for real, but this will do for now.

"God, holding this phone is annoying," complains Momoshiro. He sounds out of breath.

"Don't you dare and put me on fucking speakerphone," warns Kaidoh.

Momoshiro laughs, taking two small breaths, and Kaidoh can hear him shiver—the image of Momoshiro biting his lip down in pleasure burns into his mind. "Of course not. You're always groaning out loud, people will hear."

Kaidoh hisses loudly, which sort of proves Momoshiro's point, but he doesn't care. "No I don't," he denies.

"Ah, yes you do. Aside from your stupid hissing, it's mostly just 'Ahh!' or 'Hmm' and sometimes 'Nghh'," says Momoshiro as he tries to mimic Kaidoh's voice.

Hearing Momoshiro moan like that, even though it's entirely fake and he's just doing it to poke fun at Kaidoh himself, it sounds really awesome and he's growing hotter all over. Fuck, how come he's being so influenced by all of this? Is it the closeness of his robotic voice? The fact that they're doing this together? Whatever it is, Kaidoh's going all smoopy over Momoshiro's voice.

"Yeah, well," says Kaidoh as he rubs angrily at himself. "You're the loudest out of us both when I ... when I ..."

Momoshiro lets out a real groan this time, and Kaidoh bites his own lip in return. "When you what?" he urges on.

"... I'm not going to say it," says Kaidoh softly. It's too embarrassing, even though the entire thing already is, but stating it so plainly, no thanks.

"Fuck you," gasps Momoshiro. "Just wait till I see you again."

"Likewise," says Kaidoh.

They shut up for a bit, and each is focused on stroking themselves, faster and harder, and Kaidoh goes nuts whenever Momoshiro lets out a tiny little gasp again. It's right in his ear—which are super warm by now from the cellphone that's pressed up against it—and it makes him writhe on top of his bed. He really wishes they were together right now. It would be so much better, and so much less awkward.

"Haa ..." breathes out Momoshiro. Kaidoh squeezes his eyes shut, and grips his penis tighter. "Kaoru ..." moans Momoshiro.

"Shit," says Kaidoh as he's seeing stars. He should be complaining, he should be feeling embarrassed at hearing Momoshiro use his first name like that, but it's making him feel so much better, so really, what's there to complain about? He moves the skin up and down, over the top of his glans, back down again, faster and faster, in tune with Momoshiro's strokes.

"Fuck Kaoru, if you don't hurry up right now, I swear I'm going to kill you the next time I see you," says Momoshiro quickly.

"Fshuuuu," hisses Kaidoh out loud. Faster, harder, pulling, rubbing—everything's coming together.

"Good, good," hums Momoshiro, and his strokes are getting sloppier. "Say my name," he commands.

Kaidoh's head is too scrambled to be thinking coherently in this state, so he simply obeys. "Ta ... ah ... ah ..."

"Kaoru ..." Momoshiro growls in a dangerous manner.

"Takeshi," he manages to say this time, and oh shit he can feel his muscles start to contract. Momoshiro groans back into the cellphone, and Kaidoh knows he's at his limit. "Takeshi, Takeshi," he chants with each stroke. "Fuck!"

Kaidoh thrusts his hips forwards, into his hand, and he lets out a loud hiss, breathing directly into the cellphone. He can hear Momoshiro take in a deep breath as he finishes himself off, stroking so fast it's almost like listening to white noise. And then Kaidoh's coming too, all of his muscles contract and spasm wonderfully, his entire body erupts into shivers and low sighs. Momoshiro's faring well on the other side too, taking in short and uneven breaths, he even whispers Kaidoh's name which makes Kaidoh's own orgasm even better.

Kaidoh continues to rub himself as each spasm pumps out semen from his penis, splattering all over his fingers, and more importantly, all over his shorts. But right now he's feeling completely satisfied, and those kind of thoughts are pushed to the back of his mind. All of his muscles are going limp, and he suddenly loosens his grip on the cellphone as well, and it falls down onto the floor.

"Shit," he curses, then pulls his hand out of his shorts and reaches for the cellphone on the floor. He picks it up—with his non-sticky hand—and puts it back to his ear. Kaidoh takes in a deep breath to steady himself. "Sorry. You still there?" he asks. Eww, now that his orgasm is fading away, he can feel just how wet his shorts have become, it's really sticky and uncomfortable.

"Yeah," says Momoshiro. "My brain barely even registered that," he says jokingly.

Kaidoh lies back down on his bed again, phone back in hand, and his shorts ruined. He sighs out loud, then covers his face with his hand again, he's so embarrassed.

... And he forgot that that's the hand he used to jerk himself off.

Oh for fuck's sake.

"So," starts Momoshiro. Kaidoh gets up from his bed to look for tissues. "I guess you'll have to take a bath again."

Kaidoh hisses at him, then pulls out a pack of tissues from his desk and wipes his face clean, then his hand, then his flaccid penis. "Shut up, moron," is all he can say. It's still really embarrassing, and he sort of wishes he could just hang up. Usually, if they were together that is, one of them would leave the scene so they wouldn't be left together in an awkward silence. They certainly wouldn't hang around and chit-chat.

"Hey Kaoru," says Momoshiro.

"Who said you could use my first name," Kaidoh immediately snaps at him.

"Uhm, you did, when we were having phone—"

"Shut up! Fine! I don't care. Just don't mention it." His cheeks are stinging with red again.

"Well, anyways," says Momoshiro with a huff. "Can I come over?"

And even though Kaidoh's standing in the middle of his room, holding a bunch of icky tissues, with his shorts stained and ruined, his face smelling like sperm, and his ears glowing hot from holding the phone all this time, Kaidoh goes against all his better judgment and says, "sure."