Most of the time, Beck Oliver doesn't really feel anything. He smiles and nods and frowns at the appropriate time, but any sort of emotion is a rare thing for him. That's why this jealousy is a completely new emotion for him.
It had been a completely normal day before this. He had gone to Sikowitz's class and done all the requested exercises, acing each one because he has an immense amount of experience in faking emotions. He had joined Robbie and Tori for lunch, thinking it odd that Andre had chosen to sit with Cat and Jade over the other three, but otherwise not really thinking much of it. He'd sat through a meeting after lunch, zoning out most of the time to daydream about what show he was going to watch. Then one of the teachers approached him and asked him to drop off a package just before school let out, so of course he'd agreed, since he's a lovely boy and incredibly nice, not to mention hot. So he'd walked over to the requested classroom and pulled open the door, only to see his gorgeous ex-girlfriend making out with his best friend.
Okay, so maybe making out is an exaggeration. It's more like a small, chaste kiss, but it's a kiss nonetheless. The amount of jealousy that sears through him is fairly surprising – he'd had a feeling that he was still in love with her, but this just confirms it. For some reason, he feels like screaming at them, wondering why they would think it's okay to make out when he'd just broken up with Jade. But then he remembers that he lost all say in who Jade does or doesn't kiss a while ago, so any of his efforts to stop them would be futile. Besides, he thinks with a frown, if she wants to go and kiss Andre, it's her loss.
Instead of screaming at them, he just shuts the door slowly and runs a hand absently through his hair. His options are most assuredly very limited. Any attempt to talk to Jade about it would probably end up in him losing his head, either literally or figuratively, so that's obviously out of the question. He ends up just deciding to go find Tori, because most of the time, when he has an issue, he goes to her for whatever reason.
Once he gets there, though, before he can say a word, the two of them are surrounded by tons of people, all screaming Tori's name. Tori, who looks shell-shocked and is holding a sandwich, just stares at them in shock.
The man in front steps up. "Tori Vega," he greets her with a grin. "You get to perform at the Platinum Awards!"
"For real?" Tori squeaks through her sandwich, looking like she's in shock. Beck grins as well, though he's not really sure if he means it. After all, he had entered that contest as well, submitted a video of himself acting (and singing, at Tori's request, since she had insisted that he couldn't very well go up there and act). Suddenly, he realizes how Jade had felt – still feels, probably. Being left in the dust kind of stings. It's odd how he realizes these things after they've already broken up.
Then the reporters are all mobbing Tori and he quietly slips to the back, feeling a bit like a broken toy, left out in the rain and discarded.
He goes over to Tori's house the next day (a Saturday, to his relief) because he's not sure of what else to do, what with this jealousy eating him up inside, and Tori doesn't seem adverse to the idea of him coming over, though she keeps babbling incessantly about her new gig at Platinum Records. (She starts in two days. He doesn't really care.) He doesn't tell her about the whole Jade and Andre thing, mostly because he has this whole theory in his head that Andre and Tori will end up together at some point (whenever they're done avoiding the subject, he guesses).
They end up watching some stupid movie, but it gets boring. Then he looks over at her, stares at the girl that he'd once considered liking until he realized that she was no Jade, and he starts leaning in. He realizes that she is as well. He tries to justify it, tries to tell himself that if Jade can kiss Andre then he is most certainly allowed to kiss Tori, but it's wrong, so wrong, so when the door swings open he is almost relieved.
That is, until he realizes that the person on the other side is none other than Jade West. All of this, he realizes, is so screwed up in so many ways.
She just stares at the two of them, heartbreak etched into her porcelain features, and then she starts to back up.
"Jade," Tori says, genuine concern in her tone. "I'm... Jade, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were coming over now..."
"Yeah, guess it was a bad idea," Jade sneers, wrapping her arms around her body as if it will somehow protect her from any further harm. "I just wanted to congratulate you on your little victory, like a normal person. Guess this is a sign that I should stop trying to be nice. Sorry to interrupt."
"Jade..." Beck says, getting up and removing himself from Tori. "I... you kissed Andre." It's not exactly what he wanted to say, but he doesn't exactly know what he wanted to say. He bites his lip.
Her face is a mixture of shock and anger. "How did you know?" she spits out, taking another step back. "You know what – forget it. I don't even want to know. You're such an idiot sometimes." Then she's out the door, her footsteps echoing down the hallway as she stomps out.
This time, he goes after her.
It takes him a moment, but he turns back to Tori and gives her a small, sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry," he mumbles, glancing down at the ground. "That was stupid of me. You... you know I have to go after her."
"I understand," Tori replies sympathetically, giving him a tiny smile in return. "Good luck."
He gives a slight nod, though he doesn't really feel all that bad, and then he walks out the door. He starts jogging once he gets into the hallway so that he can catch her. Of course, when he does, she just gives him one of her trademark glares and spits, "What do you want?"
"I need to talk to you," he says, his breath coming faster and faster, and he doesn't know if it's from running or just their close proximity. "Why am I an idiot? You actually did kiss Andre..."
"For a play, Beck," she informs him after a moment, staring at the ground. "He and I decided to try out for a romantic play together, so we were just practicing the scene and that is it. Unlike you and Vega, who decided to have a little make-out session in her house."
"How was I supposed to know that you and Andre were doing it for a play?" Beck demands, feeling awfully silly. After all, he's not really sure of what else to say. There really isn't much to say.
"I don't know; maybe you could've talked to me first," she retorts bitingly, giving him another scathing glare. "Maybe that would work. And I don't really get why you kissed Vega just because I kissed Andre. What are you, ten?"
"I was jealous, okay?" Beck finally says, his eyes blazing with emotion. "I was jealous, Jade, and I wasn't exactly sure how to handle it, so I thought that maybe if I kissed Tori, maybe I would forget –"
This time, she swoops up and cuts him off with a short, sweeping kiss. In that moment, he allows himself to forget that they're broken up, that just a few minutes ago, he had almost kissed Tori, that they're not supposed to still be in love with each other, much less making out. Once the magnitude of all of this hits her, though, she pulls away and just stares at him, looking so, so vulnerable. He's only seen her look like this once before, when she had bought him that dog that ended up attacking his father.
"I'm sorry," she says after a moment, disentangling herself from his grasp. "I really... I shouldn't have done that. I just want you to know that – that I'm not just going to be left in the dust again, Beck. I'm better than that."
I know, he wants to call. I love you, he wants to say. Instead, he just watches her as she runs away, knowing that he couldn't catch her if he tried. (This, he thinks, is sort of symbolic.)
He sits down that night and wonders how easy it is to write a song. Andre does it all the time, he knows, so how hard can it be?
But the longer he sits there, the more evident it is that the boy has no idea how to write a song, so he ends up just running his hand through his hair until the ends are frayed and his brain is fried. In the end, he just writes the only three words that he knows are true – I love Jade.
Then he tears it up and throws it in the trashcan, thinking for about the hundredth time that this is why the company chose Tori, a pretty, perky teenage girl, over Beck, who has all of a sudden gone from an emotionless stone to a basket case of emotion, the poster boy for teenage angst.
He throws the paper away and wishes it was that easy to get rid of whatever is going on in his head and his heart.
The next day at school, he sees Jade and Andre talking over at her locker so he walks up, awkwardly adjusting his backpack as not to seem like a complete creeper. Andre gives him a warm greeting and tells Beck that Jade and Andre's audition went swimmingly and that he's almost sure he'll land the part, but Jade just stares at the ground. After a moment of complete awkwardness, Andre walks off, telling them both that he'll see them in class.
"Jade," Beck says, tapping the toe of his boot against the ground. "We need to talk."
"I don't want to talk," Jade gripes, her eyes still burning holes into the ground. "Andre's going on a date with Tori, who's apparently supposed to be more 'edgy' now or something, I don't know, but... I don't know. That girl gets everything."
"Seems that you do want to talk," he replies softly. "Look, Jade, I wasn't entirely thrilled to hear that Tori got it either, but... if anyone deserved it just as much as she did, it's you. And I know that you're going to get the lead in this new play, and I'll be happy for you, even though you've got to kiss Andre."
Glancing up at him, she gives a small half-smile. "Thanks, I guess."
Reaching over, he takes her hand slowly, and she doesn't jerk away for once. The two of them just stare at each other for a moment, but then they both start to lean – simultaneously, kind of. Before their lips meet, though, the bell blares loudly in their ears and they both jerk away quickly. A blur runs by them, colorful and wearing the ugliest clothes Beck's ever seen.
"Was that Vega?" Jade snorts, rolling her gorgeous eyes. "Please tell me that I'm wrong and it wasn't."
With a frown, he shakes his head. "I honestly hope not."
He doesn't let go of her hand until they get to class, and he thinks that maybe it's a start.
A/N: So this idea was given me by my odd friends on twitter and well, I couldn't resist. It's pretty short and makes no sense and has a crappy ending, but I hope you like it anyway! Please review, and don't favorite without reviewing.