A/N: Wow.. I bet you all hate me by now. And I am so incredibly sorry for just leaving you there.. hanging... The thing is, after 3x22, after Elena chose Stefan.. I was done with TVD and anything that related to TVD. Which also included this story. I have not watched season 4 since then and I'm probably not going to, because I feel like .. tvd just kept disappointing me. But I figured that this story, is not so disappointing. So many people favourited this story and stuff. I love you all. Really. And I felt like this story has a lot of potential and I have so many ideas for it. And I just love writing it really.
I hope this chapter turned out good, because I owe you guys. Let's take a look and decide, shall we?
I do not own TVD or Delirium.
There are those moments where no matter what you do, nothing helps. Nothing is any kind of resolution. Any kind of support. You're just... hopelessly stuck. And they say hope dies last.. But has anyone ever talked about that part where no hope is left?
My fingers are trembling, my breathing heavy. I would bet I look an absolute mess. My chest and face covered with sweat of fear. Realisation hit me a couple of minutes ago. After the stranger left and I tried to open that door or.. tried to move it in any kind of way..I realised that it'll never work. I'm trapped here with an uncured man who kidnapped me for whatever reason I'm not aware of. But I can't just accept that fact. That's too terrible. This was not supposed to now, not ever. I was supposed to be home right now. Spend the summer with Caroline. And then get cured. Why me? Why is fate always so incredibly cruel? Deep down I may know why.. Deep down I think I know that I somehow deserve this. That this is my fault. It's because I meet him. It's because.. I actually believed that I would turn out all right. Because it just felt so right. He felt so right. His entire presence consumed me. And maybe I don't even like him that way. Or maybe I do, I honestly don't know. But I know that for a while I liked what he brought of me. This new, adventurous, carefree side of me. Of course.. only until I was leaved to deal with the consequences. Being here in the middle of nowhere with no one around.
Just as I think that this feeling of being lonely is tearing me completely apart I hear footsteps coming closer. My heartbeat increases and my stomach flips. Should I try to hide or something? I look around frantically as my eyes somehow start to water a little bit. There is no place to hide, absolutely nothing. Only darkness that makes me even more nervous than I already am. I have no weapon. No protection. Nothing. But also nothing to lose, right? It can't get any worse than this. The door slowly opens and for a split second I start to think about trying to run past him but I know it makes no sense. I don't stand a chance. I'm finally to brave myself and turn my head around to see my captivator. And there he is. This old man with no scar. Old clothes and a small beard. He is holding a lamp in his rand right now so I can see his face absolutely clear. For some reason, I was actually hoping to find this .. anger.. or .. this disturbed expression in his eyes again. But this time.. there is nothing. And I don't get it. He isn't cured. He... is supposed to feel right? So the question that automatically pops up in my head is.. What made a man, who obviously resisted the cure, hurt so much that after all he fought for ... he doesn't even want to feel anymore? My mind thinks it knows the answer. It's gotta be the deliria. But then my heart aches as it reminisces what it felt to sit there next to him... And it just won't accept it because.. sitting there next to his warm body.. it didn't hurt at all. It was the opposite. He steps in further into the room and our gaze breaks for a few moments as he closes the door again and sits down on the dusty ground to face me again. The lamp is standing now right next to him and it makes both our features stand out in the dark. I push myself a bit further against the well, wanting to be as far away from him as possible.
„ I guess you wanna know why I brought you here?" His voice is so much more calm now. Why? What changed? Is this his plan.. acting nice.. and then.. then hurting me? I try to open my dry mouth to say something but.. I'm tongue tied.
„Well for one.. I'm sorry for how I treated you earlier. But you wouldn't have come here if I just .. asked you to. We both know that. And the reason you're here.. I just wanna talk to you?" I just stare at him. What is happening? Is he apologizing right now? I.. I thought he was a monster.. An animal. Wait.. Am I actually contemplating about forgiving him? I don't know what it is, but suddenly I'm mad. Mad at myself. Mad at Damon. Mad at him. So I do something I haven't done in a very long time.
„You wanna talk to me?! That's why you psycho kidnapped me and brought me into this.. rotten cellar while I was thinking I would starve to death in here?! You gave me a freaking heart attack because you wanted to talk to me?! Are you serious?!" I didn't even notice it, but I'm now standing looking down at him. My arms flying around as I let out my anger and frustration. And then.. he does the most unexpected thing ever. He smiles at me. I knit my eybrowes and put my hands to my sides. Great.. now I'm even more confused. He gestures me with his hand to sit down again but I'm still too stunned to move. He chuckles and takes a small breath before he continues talking.
„Wow.. they were right. A lot of emotions bottled up inside your body. Which leads us straight back to talking about all of this..." My body feels week again, my bones tired, my head heavy. I can't follow him anymore. He confuses me. He was supposed to scream at me, not the other way around. Soon my body is trying to relax against the wall again as I wait for him to go on and explain. What he does he mean with „they"? But he doesn't keep up the conversation. I know he is waiting for me to something, anything. To show some kind of interest in whatever this might be about. So I give myself a push and start talking.
„Go ahead.. talk. I'll be listening. ... The first thing I wanna know though is.. what do you mean with „They were right?" Who exactly is they and what were they right about?" I guess my curiosity is finally winning over me.
„Glad you finally asked. With „they" I mean my friends. My.. helpers.. If you want. The ones who are like me" Before I can even stop myself, the words split out of my mouthg.
„You mean the uncureds.. the resistants..." And.. there it is again. The anger in his eyes. No.. it's not anger. Something else. Almost like he is disgusted by the sound of my words.
„ That's what you and all the other people who believe in the cure call us I see..." He trails off at the end.
„Well.. you know.. this is where our argument could start, though. There should be only people who ... want the cure. That is not a question of believing in something. How can you rethink something that will make your life so much better? So muche closer.. to.. perfect?" As I try to explain my side I can't help but feel the words tasting bitter right as they come out of my mouth. This is almost like reliving the situation with Caroline again. Doesn't she feel the same way about the cure as this man does? And I forgave her..
„I hate the p word.. Perfect. Who tells you guys what perfect? And why do you wanna be perfect? Why do you wanna live perfect?... Feel perfect?" He pauses for a short moment. „I'll let you in on a little secret... You'll never feel perfect until you haven't experienced.. it" By the way he emphasizes the last word .. I know exactly what he means. The deliria. My mind wander straight back to Damon. How happy I felt just spending this day with him. How all my other memories washed out when he made me laugh. But isn't that the dangerous thing about the deliria ? You feel great and then .. it's eating away at you until you die.
„On the other hand judging by that look on your face. ... You've already experienced a part of it, haven't you?" That turns my attention to him again. My eyes go wide at his words.
„I.. um.. No." No. Just remember, Elena. No. You sould said have no when Damon asked you to text him back. You should have said no when Caroline asked you to watch Titanic. Focus, Elena. Say yes to the cure.. and no to anything deliria related.
„Come on. No one is here, and they already know. I mean, they looked after you. Found out that.. you were different. Found out that .. you went out with him." My emotions are rising again. Boiling up. Making me flustered because .. I know he is right...
„You spyed on me, didn't you? And now what? Now you know that.. I have a weakness? That I went weak for him for a few hours? Now you think you can .. convince me to work with you?" My tone is sharp and cold. I'm angry at him. He's not supposed to be right. Everything turned out so wrong.
„I don't want to convince you. I want to make you realize the truth. And the truth is.. that you like him. That you would rather go back to these moments you had with him than ever get cured." I stay silent. I can't think about his words too much or I'll never forget them. They'll haunt me.
„You don't know me. You don't know what I feel or what I want" My voice is slowly cracking with every second.
„You're right. But you know what you want. You're just too afraid to admit it. Because, if you do.. you'll realise that all those years have been lies. And you'll be afraid because.. it will be something new and yes, it will be scary. You don't wanna accept the fact that you want him. More than anything. More than the cure." I bite my lip and I can feel my eyes get teary. Why do his words pain me so much? Why do they hit me right at the left side of my chest?
„That was my little emotional speech.. Practically.. you can leave now" I don't respond. I can't. He tells me that I could meet him again, to talk about stuff. But I feel like I'm in some kind of trance. His words echoing in my head. Flooding all my memories, all my dreams I ever had. My past, my presence and my future. He leads me out of the cellar, the building. At some point I can feel the fresh night air hitting my skind. I'm outside again. I never thought I'd get there. And I always had in mind that if I would.. I'd be hurt or something. Like .. physically. But what I'm feeling now is even worse. He touches my arm slightly and I think he is saying his goodbyes. And then he's gone. Back in his world. And I'm back in my world. Although.. I'm not sure anymore. After what he told me.. I feel like I'm somewhere inbetween. A dangerous position.
I don't know how long I stand there. Just staring at the sky. Seeing the few first red and purple colouris of the morning sun appear. A new day. But the worries and the confusion stick with me. What am I supposed to feel? About what.. the cure.. and.. and him. A day ago my life was so much easier. What if his new day gets even worse? What if that man was right? Does this mean my actions were right too? Me meeting him and feeling the way I felt ? Thinking about him all the time. Hearing his voice in my head. God his voice.. Even after everything that has happened .. I feel like his voice is the only thing that could calm me right now.
So I walk down the streets, searching for a telephone booth since Carolines house is too far too walk too right now. I need his voice now. After passing endless empty places, there it finally is. I open the booth and with shaking hands I pull out the few dollars that are left in the pockets of my shorts. I put them in there and while my body starts shaking again I dial his number. The number I know by heart already. I need his voice now. No... I just... I need him now.
There are those moments where no matter what you do, there is only one thing left that helps you. You force yourself to think that there has to be another resolution. But you realize there is only hope when you choose that one thing for your help. And as the hope starts to grow in you again... You'll find out that.. it's not one thing you need.
It's this one person you need.
So.. this was the chapter. Let me know what you think. If you read this, thanks for sticking with me and my story and.. thanks for waiting. And, if you review, I'll be grateful as well.