A/N: Ok well this story has been in the back of my mind for some time and even wrote the story overview (only 4 pages) but I never went any further. Other stories or real life took precedence. Well that changed after I rewatched the Mask, Fake Name and Beard triple. I think it was the whole sickly 'Sam' incident that really did it for me.

Anyway, I have to advise you this story will heavily feature Shaw, but take solace in the fact that I am indeed a Shater. That is the good news, the bad news is this story is not a happy story for Sarah and for that matter Charah fans. If you are looking for a story that Chuck and Sarah are together and live happily ever after this is not the story for you.

However if you hate Shaw with a passion, this maybe the story for you. Any reviews or PM's blasting me for not have Chuck and Sarah together will be ignored….I have plenty of other stories with sickly sweet Charah moments.

This is my post Sham therapy session.

Oh and just in case you are a shover (Shaw lover or Sham lover), move along, nothing to see here.

Chapter 1

It was the morning after Chuck's red test, he was now a real agent. Sarah and he would be able to have something real, yes there was Shaw, but what could she really see in him, a tree would have more character then the 'special' agent Daniel Shaw. She already admitted it was different with him.

Yes she told him her name, Chuck was still struggling to believe that part of the last few weeks. He would also needed to thank Casey, he would probably be dead if it wasn't for the ex NSA agent now Buymore green shirt.

Here was Chuck setting out on his journey in the spy world and here is Casey embracing the Buymore world, the one he was leaving behind. Well maybe embracing was a little over the top, but it didn't seem like he had much else going on.

But that's enough thoughts on Casey, Chuck had a woman he needed to see, a woman he needed to get back. Just then a knock at the door disturbed his thoughts.

'Sarah' he thought as he quickly ran to the door in his sleep shirt and boxers.

Quickly opening the door he noticed a female standing to attention.

"Charles Bartowski? Charles Irving Bartowski?" she asked.

"Yes," he responded.

"Here is your identification and side arm. The general is expecting you for a video conference. I can establish the hook up if you are unable," she added.
"Oh no that's ok I can do it, thanks," he said.

"Please sign," she asked.

After signing she quickly turned around and left leaving Chuck standing there.

Chuck realised he better go talk to the General. He headed straight to his bedroom to his TV that also doubled as a video conference station on his way he opened up his ID and saw his identification.

'Wow, now it really is official,' thought Chuck.

Chuck established the conference.

"Well congratulations Agent Bartowski, and well done in completing your red test. You should have received your identification and sidearm," stated Beckman.

"Yes General, have them in my hot little hands" responded Chuck.

Beckman visibly rolled her eyes.

"Good, now agent you will soon be receiving new assignment orders, but they will not come through for a few weeks. In the mean time I would like you to help out Agents Shaw and Walker with wrapping up operations in Burbank," said the General.

"New assignment?" asked Chuck worried.

"Chuck of course, what did you think would happen after you got your full agent status. You will be running a new operation and will be able to select your own team," said Beckman.

"Ok well I guess I will await further instructions, thank you General," responded Chuck now with a smile.

The General disconnected the connection without so much as a good bye.

'Wow my own operation, my own team. I have got to tell Sarah,' thought Chuck.


Chuck runs into castle and finds Sarah alone.

"Hey," said Chuck.

"You're back?" Replied Sarah flatly.

"I have been calling you for a couple of days now," said Chuck.

"Sorry things here have been a little.." said Sarah.

"Crazy, yeah I know," interrupted Chuck.

"Got my badge, I'm an agent. The CIA are sending me to Italy, you wouldn't believe the villa they're putting me up in. I'm supposed to be some rich young playboy, but who cares about that," said Chuck.

Then he took a deep breath.

"The point is Sarah, I want you to go with me?" Said Chuck.

"I can't," replied Sarah quickly.

"No Beckman said I get to chose my own team, cream of the crop that's you" replied Chuck.

"I'm going to Washington...and I'm going with Shaw," added Sarah.

"Wait, wasn't this the plan? There's nothing stopping us from being together now, I passed my spy test," said Chuck.

"That's why I can't be with you, you're not the same guy I fell for," replied Sarah sadly.

"Why? because I'm an Agent now?" asked Chuck exasperated.

"You killed somebody, I saw you kill the mole," yelled Sarah.

"I know what you think you saw on the train tracks, but it's not that simple, it's more complicated than that, it's not what you think and I need you to believe me," pleaded Chuck.

"I don't," stated Sarah flatly

"But, but Sarah I love you," said Chuck filled with angst.

"Chuck, like I said I'm with Shaw" she added.

after several seconds the changes in Chuck's demeanour were obvious as the different emotions flashed across his face.

"Well I guess this is goodbye then Sam," said Chuck.

The words affected Sarah more then she thought possible, the look he gave her the goodbye and then the rubbing salt into the wounds by using her real name all made her feel disgusted. She wants to reach out and say sorry, but it would only make things harder and the words didn't seem enough after what Chuck had gone through.


Chuck couldn't believe it, what good is being an agent if he can't have Sarah? She was the reason he wanted to become an agent, she told him they couldn't be together because he wasn't an agent. And now he is, she says she can't because he is not the same guy.

'This is ridiculous, she probably never had any intention of being with me, that whole Prague thing, she must have realised it was just a passing interest with no real feelings,' thought Chuck

It hurt Chuck knowing that the last three years of his life had been for nought….

'Shit what have I done with my life since Stanford…nothing that's what,' he thought.

It was then he looked down at his newly minted badge and sidearm.

'Only one thing I have achieved and that is because of someone else,' thought Chuck.

'The only thing I have left in my life is that badge, I will show that I deserve it by becoming the most emotionally withdrawn agent I can be. Feelings just end up hurting you so who needs them?' he thought.

Chuck felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and he pulled it out and read.


Report to Castle immediately for a briefing in 30 minutes.

General Beckman.

'Well I guess I can't hold it off anymore, it's time to face the music and see the lovebirds,' thought Chuck.


Chuck arrives at Castle with Sarah and Shaw already in attendance, it sounds like Shaw was trying to be funny but Sarah certainly didn't look entertained, if anything she looked embarrassed.

'Not my concern,' he thought.

"Nice to see you could join us Agent Bartowski, well done on the red test," said Shaw.

"Thanks, I think it is time for the conference," said Chuck attempting to avoid further conversation.

"Did you want to celebrate with a drink, just the three of us," asked Shaw.

His peripheral vision picked up the awkwardness from Sarah.

"No thanks, I may not be able to choose who I work with yet, but I can chose my friends," he responded without emotion.

Sarah's immediate reaction was almost comical, standing up straighter and shock clearly evident on her face.

"Agents I hope have not called at a bad time," said General Beckman appearing on the screen.

"Not at all General, Agent Shaw was just explaining how he had been constipated for some time," said Chuck.

"Agent Shaw, do you need some assistance you do look to be in pain?" asked the General.

Chuck heard a short quiet snicker come from the other side of Shaw.

"Agent Walker, the inability to open ones bowels is no laughing matter," said the General seriously.

"Of course not ma'am," Sarah responded.

"Shaw you still haven't answered and you seem to be in even more discomfort, maybe you should sit this one out and I can just address Agents Bartowski and Walker," she responded.

"No I am fine General," Shaw responded.

"Don't take it lightly, the inability to evacuate your bowels is not pleasant, especially with the continual build-up," said Beckman.

"Build-up ma'am?" Chuck questioned

"Yes being full of shit is not a pleasant feeling," she responded.

Chuck was only just holding on he could taste blood from the bighting of the inside of his cheek.

"Ma'am when will myself and Agent Walker be leaving for Washington?" asked Shaw.

"Agent Shaw all transfers and re-assignments are currently on hold, we have a new mission that has the highest priority," said Beckman.

"Ma'am if I may, this team's priority has been the Ring and it should continue in that same goal," said Shaw.

"Shaw, this team priority is whatever I say it is, and currently this new mission takes priority over any mission involving the Ring. Do I make myself clear?" asked Beckman.

"Yes Ma'am" responded Shaw.

"Anyone else want to interrupt me?" she asked.

Only silence was the response, Chuck noticed Shaw looking almost like a scolded child.

"The new mission involves a Top Secret Navy project with an apparent leak" said Beckman.

"General, will we be working with anyone from the Navy?" asked Chuck.

"Good question Agent Bartowski, yes you will be joined by an undercover NCIS team based out of Los Angeles. You will need to go and meet up with them for a joint briefing at this location," she said as she sent through the address details and the time of the meeting.

"Agent Shaw sort out your shit before it effects the mission," said Beckman then immediately disconnected the conference.

Shaw looked immediately at Chuck while Sarah had her hand over her mouth seemingly struggling to keep bursting into hysterics.

"Agent Shaw, sorry did I misunderstand, it certainly sounded like you were full of shit?" asked Chuck.

"Did that badge of yours also take your brain Bartowski?" snarled Shaw.

"No it just took away my need to pretend that I could stand you and your total lack of personality," responded Chuck.

"Let's see who is laughing when I destroy your career Chuck," said Shaw almost spitting.

"Go try your hardest woody. But don't hurt yourself by thinking too hard," said Chuck as he walked up the stairs and out of Castle.

A/N: Ok so this is the beginning, I already have the first draft of the whole story completed

( about 35k words), I wasn't convinced about posting this story as it was more about therapy then written for FF, but if there is interest for me to post the full story I will. Remember this story is not a Charah story, that doesn't mean that I may not add another story in this AU that is Charah, but this story is not.

I must also apologise for the lack of updates on my two other stories, I couldn't convince myself to do any updates on those stories until after this story was completed. Didn't want an possible negativity to flow into those stories, who knows when Chuck came back to Australia in Highschool Reunion he might have found Sarah with another man...we can't have that.