I changed my mind about reworking the story. I'm just going to plunge ahead. It's supposed to be a goofy story, anyway, so who cares if it's not perfect?

Oh, and, I apologize in advance if I goof up Calvin and/or Hobbes' personalities. Uh, maybe they got affected by some personalitifying energy or something.


Charlie Brown gasped. Shermy had just ran over to the now-purple personalitifier - but next to it was another cardboard box labeled "InteRdamenshinal TelePortER".

Shermy jumped into the cardboard box and tapped a button. The interdimensional teleporter disappeared!

"Great," moaned Charlie Brown. "Now what am I gonna do?"

Just then, the interdimensional teleporter reappeared!

"Oh, man!" Shermy grumbled. "This thing works a little funky sometimes." He pressed another button. Whirr whirr whirr whirr whirr... "Come on, come on, teleport," grumbled Shermy.

Charlie Brown took this opportunity to jump into the box with Shermy! And using explanation points out of dialogue is lame, but who cares! Yes, there should be a question mark after that, but again, who cares!

"Hey, what are you doing?!" shouted Shermy. "My new personality is very protective of his property! Nobody goes in Shermy's cardboard box without Shermy's permiss -"

The interdimensional teleporter chose that moment to teleport. Conveniently, it made a shunnnnnn! sound as it teleported, finishing Shermy's word for him.

"UgGh!" Charlie Brown's stomach lurched. He felt as though he was being hurled through hyperspace, which makes sense, because that's what was happening. But it only lasted a second.

"Uhhh..." Charlie Brown was dizzy.

"I'm glad you're dizzy!" snarled Shermy. "It's what you deserve! That's karma for you, my friend! People always get what they deserv...uggh..." Shermy started feeling dizzy.

Just then, a kid with yellow hair that stuck up and pointed in every conceivable direction (not really, that would look pretty weird) walked into the room. "Aha! You're back!" he said. "A satisfied customer wanting to give me some extra money, I hope?"

"Nope!" said Shermy. "I'm here because the personalitifer you sold me purplefied."

"OOPS! That wasn't supposed to happen!" Calvin said in a not-very-convincing voice. "Don't worry, it'll only cost $50 to fix!"

"$50?! My life savings is 85 cents!" Shermy protested.

"Just for you, I'll lower the price to...$1!"

"That's still not within my price range," Shermy grumbled.

"Well, certainly you have ways of making money! Like...steal some from that kid over there!" He pointed to Charlie Brown.

"Good idea!" Shermy dug into Charlie Brown's pockets. "Mmm, a chocolate cream!" He shoved the candy into his mouth and continued to dig.

"Cut it out!" Charlie Brown said, shooing Shermy away. Then he turned to Calvin. "Calvin! I need to talk to you!"

"What about?"

"Two people have their personalities reversed, and I need to know how to return them to normal!"

"That's easy. I'll tell you for the incredibly low price of..." Calvin began, before being interrupted by Shermy.

"Wait a second, Charlie Brown! You...you...you're going to turn Lucy and Linus back to normal...SHATTERING my chances of developing a personality?!" He glared at C.B. "How could you? Huh! Some FRIEND you are."

"Shermy, don't you realizing what this whole quest for a personality has done to you? You've turned from a perfectly normal person into a selfish brat who's probably going to be forever indebted to another selfish brat..." He gestured to Calvin.

"Hey! I'm not a selfish brat! And if I am, it's not my fault! It's the way I was raised! It's fate! It's -"

"Hey, you're right, Charlie Brown! I think maybe this whole personalitifier thing was just a dumb way to make some cash off me."

"WHAT?!" Calvin screamed. "It's not dumb! It's brilliant! I mean, um, a brilliant invention, not a brilliant way to make cash! Though, that is a nice side affect..."

"You know what?" Shermy said. "Who needs a personality, anyway? Personalities are nothing but trouble! Before this stupid personality business, I was content. But then this Calvin guy swindled me! In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he manipulated me using personalitifying energy in order to get me to buy his dumb machine!"

"WHAT?! Wh-wh-why would I do that?!"

"Come on, Charlie Brown," Shermy said. "Let's go home."


By the time they came back home, Lucy's and Linus' personalities had already returned to their original hosts.

Needless to say, they weren't exactly thrilled with Shermy. He apologized - in a very normal, uninteresting, Shermylike way.

Or is that Shermious? Shermiful? Shermilicious? Shermiatic?

Well, anyway, the Van Pelts forgave Shermy a bit sooner than one might expect. For some reason, it's just hard to be mad at someone with so little personality.

Besides, he made amends by taking them on trips with his interdimensional teleporter. To universes in which everyone carries around security blankets and where Schroeder loves Lucy back.

The end.


"WHAT?! That's the end?!"

Um, yeah. Pretty weird, I know. But it just, uh, felt right somehow. Sort of. Still not sure it's a good idea, but...I just didn't know what more to write, and didn't feel like more was really needed, so...I ended.

The thing is, with goofy stories like this, you don't know what to expect from your own story. It could've gone in a myriad of directions. It could've been forty chapters long. Or it could've been a oneshot. It could've taken a more serious turn. It could've become even goofier. You never know with stories like this. But I hope you enjoyed the ride!

Go ahead and complain in a review and I will consider revising or writing a prologue.