Title: A Proud Family of Idjits
Prompt: Supernatural, Sam & Dean, decades/centuries later the Winchesters are an entire religion on their own ... with myth, facts and beliefs
Prompter: mangacrack (lj)
Genre: Gen, humor
Rating: G
Wordcount: 321


"I'm hot," the little boy whined. "Do I hafta wear this?"

The boy's mother sighed deeply. The battle had started again.

"Flannel and denim is what we wear," she stated flatly. "If it was good enough for Sam and Dean it's good enough for you."

"But Ethan's wearing swim shorts. I don't understand why I can't wear swim shorts too. It's a pool party mom! It's like a zillion degrees out here! This stupid shirt's gonna weigh like a thousand pounds when it gets wet. You know that."

"Ethan's a Methodist," his mother replied with clear distaste. "You know what that makes him."

"Yeah. He's a friggin civilian."

The statement was made with more than a little sarcasm and an audible snort, a fact that did not go unnoticed by Mom.

"Deanuel !" she snapped. "Those are the sacred words of the Apostles Winchester. You will say them with respect. We're a proud family of Idjits and we take our religion seriously. You need to remember that. Do you want to be visited by a Shtriga or eaten by a Rugaru?"

"No ma'am," he uttered grudgingly. "But can I at least have a slice of pizza? Everybody else is."

"Everybody else is a bunch of friggin civilians. Praise Dean," she added with great reverence, making the sacred sign of rock/paper/scissors as she did. "I won't let you shame the family. This is Thursday, you know what that means."

"Yeah," was the sullen reply.

"Tell me the story then. I want to make sure you're actually studying your lessons."

"On a Thursday, the Drunken Prophet Chuck decreed that Dean would eat a bacon cheeseburger and Sam would eat a cob salad."

"And…" Mom prompted expectantly, earning an eye-roll from Deanuel.

"And if it's good enough for Sam and Dean it's good enough for me. Praise Dean," he added hurriedly off of Mom's pointed glare. "But do I have to drink the beer?"