Author's Notes: Written for ilovemoony73's "Dirty Deeds and Skirts 'Roudn the Knees" Competition on the HPFC forum.

So we've all noticed the Marauder's Map credits at the end of the Prisoner of Azkaban movie- and the two pairs of feet in the corner in a very compromising position. Now, it is your job, dears, to tell the story of those two students.

Also for Day 2 on hp_may_madness on Livejournal – "Partially clothed sex".

This is a (very late) birthday present for my dear, dear daughter and friend Couture Girl, who requested smutty Narcissa/Xenophilius… I hope it lives up to your expectations!


"What's so interesting at the Ravenclaw table, then, Narcissa?"

Andromeda's question jolted Narcissa out of her daze. She had been staring – apparently not as subtly as she had thought – across the Great Hall, at the wispy, pale boy engrossed in discussion with the other Ravenclaws.

"Pardon?" Narcissa asked innocently.

"You're all but drooling, Cissy." Andromeda craned her neck, trying to get a look.

"I'm not looking at anything," Narcissa said quickly. "I was just thinking…"

And that was not a lie. Narcissa most certainly was thinking. She was thinking that that skinny little Ravenclaw – Xenophilius Lovegood – was perhaps the best looking boy that she had ever seen, and that she wanted him.

And Narcissa always got what she wanted.

Andromeda shrugged and went back to her breakfast, apparently losing interest in her sister. Narcissa hardly noticed, for she was already plotting as to how to get him into her bed.


"Professor Slughorn," Narcissa said sweetly, stepping into his office, "I wonder if I might ask for a favour?"

Professor Slughorn was sitting at his desk, humming quietly while he graded papers – first year papers, Narcissa thought, feeling a twinge of nostalgia at the sight of the simple titles and large, awkward handwriting. When he heard Narcissa's voice, he looked up and smiled jovially at her.

"Why, of course, young Miss Black," he told her cheerfully. "Do come in and sit down…"

Narcissa obliged, perching delicately on the edge of a chair, and cleared her throat, preparing to recite the story that she had been practicing in her mind since breakfast.

"The thing is, Professor," she said, taking care to make her voice sound bright and girlishly innocent, "my parents have asked me to get a potion from you… as you're the best potion maker they know, you see," she added, and saw him swell with pride at her flattery.

"Well, of course!" he beamed. "I'd be pleased to provide them with any potion that they might desire – what is it?"

"A love potion, sir," Narcissa told him. "Amortentia."

The smile slid immediately from his face. "A- amortentia, you say?"

"Yes, sir." She did not allow her own smile to falter in the slightest. "That is what they asked for me to get from you, sir."

His eyes clouded over worriedly. "Young Miss Black… I'm sure that you're aware that amortentia is a very dangerous and powerful substance… it would be quite irresponsible of me to put it in the hands of a student…"

"But you know me, Professor," Narcissa said, in the meekest, most sugared voice she could muster. "I'd send it straight on to my parents. You know that I wouldn't use it. And my parents wouldn't be very happy if I told them that you wouldn't give it to me, Sir…"

He looked torn between his sense of propriety and protocol and wanting the keep in the good graces of the Black family. Narcissa waited, smiling her bland, innocent little smile, and at last, Slughorn sighed and crossed to a cabinet at the back of the room. He peered around inside it for a moment and picked out a small vial of potion.

"Here you are," he said, rather dubiously, holding it out to Narcissa. "Be careful with it, and send it straight on to your parents, all right?"

"Yes, Sir," she told him, wrapping her fingers tightly around the cool glass and feeling her heart speed up with excitement. She had it, she had it, she had it! It was all she could do to stop her face from breaking into a large and unladylike grin.

"I'll go up and send it right now," she added, bobbing a little in a quick curtsey. "Thank you very much, Sir. I know that my parents will be pleased."

Then she turned and hurried out, feeling as though she could have danced with sheer happiness.


Administering the love potion was, Narcissa thought while she lounged against the wall near the transfiguration classroom, going to be a good deal more difficult than getting it from Professor Slughorn had been. She couldn't slip it into Xenophilius's food at breakfast or dinner – not only because it would have been difficult to do undetected, but also because she could not guarantee that he would see her immediately after drinking it.

"You're Narcissa Black, aren't you?"

Narcissa jumped, and the vial, which she had been turning over slowly between her fingers, almost slipped out of her hands. Xenophilius Lovegood – oh, God, it's him! – was standing in front of her, looking quite serious. She could have sworn he appeared out of nowhere.

"I… er…" Narcissa fumbled for words, trying and failing to sound calm and dignified. Xenophilius looked at her with obvious confusion.

"Are you ill?" he asked. "You're flushed."

"N- No…" she stammered, then, acutely aware that she was, for the first time in her life, having an actual conversation with the object of her desires, and even more acutely aware that if she didn't pull herself together, this might very well be the last time, she stuck out the hand holding the vial of love potion. "I was wondering if you'd drink this for me."

Very smooth, Cissy, she thought with a wince as Xenophilius stared at it, perplexed.

"What is it?"

"It's, erm… a… laughing potion," she improvised quickly. "We were making them in class, and I'm not sure that mine worked out quite right," she elaborated, attempting to sound natural. "And I need to test it on someone… other than me."

"What will happen if it isn't brewed correctly?" Xenophilius asked, and Narcissa felt herself melting in relief – he didn't suspect her lie, then.

"Er, nothing… you just… won't laugh," she told him. "Would you?"

He pondered for a moment, then nodded solemnly and took the vial from her. Narcissa watched, equal parts eager and terrified, as he unstoppered it. The scent of chocolate and strawberry jelly and the cologne that Rodolphus Lestrange wore, mixed with an odd, grassy, spicy smell, met Narcissa's nose, but before she had time to worry about what Xenophilius was smelling in the amortentia, he tipped the vial back and swallowed the contents.

There was a tense pause. Narcissa could hardly breathe for anticipation and fear, and she watched as Xenophilius's eyebrows slowly drew together, as he ran his tongue around his lips, and then, at last, as he looked up at her.

The effect was instantaneous. Narcissa didn't even have time to react before he had flung himself upon her, kissing her with more force than she would have imagined him capable of. Her heart soared – oh God, it worked! – and then she found herself pressed against the wall.

"I want you, Narcissa," he whispered against her mouth, his hands clutching at her hair, running up and down her waist, every touch sending shocks through her body that travelled straight between her legs. "I want you so very, very badly…"

"I- want you too…" she moaned, knotting her fingers in his scraggly, too-long hair. Anyone could see them there in that hall, but Narcissa couldn't bring herself to care. She wouldn't care even if her sisters walked in on them. It didn't matter.

He pulled back, and Narcissa arched her back and moaned while he pulled at the buttons on her blouse. It was a struggle to get off, and when he finally did, he didn't even bother to take off her bra, which was quite fine by Narcissa, who had already reached down to undo his trousers.

She wrapped her hand firmly around him, pulling his cock free and stroking it, thanking God that she had done this before.

"Oh, Narcissa…" he moaned, staring at her with those huge, pale eyes, not unlike her own, except that they were presently bright and feverish with desire. She stared into them for an instant, but then Xenophilius was tugging down her knickers, and all thoughts of his eyes were quite gone.

Narcissa lifted one leg and wrapped it around his waist, clinging to the wall for leverage as she ground against him. It was a mercy, she thought, that she was so light, for though the love potion had leant Xenophilius strength, she doubted that he would have been able to hold her against the wall like this if she were built more like Andromeda or Bellatrix. He was fumbling about beneath her skirt, and Narcissa had to bight back a cry when the head of his cock brushed against her clit.

"X- Xeno…" was all she could moan – not even his whole name came to her lips, and she lost control of her voice entirely when he relaxed his grip on her, letting her sink down onto his cock.

She cried out, clenching automatically around him. He's smaller than Rodolphus, a tiny, disapproving voice in the back of her head told her, but she ignored it, because when Rodolphus had taken her, it had never felt even half this good. He was moving quickly, brushing the most sensitive spot inside her with every stroke, and Narcissa could do nothing but gasp for air. Her eyes closed and her head fell back, smacking against the wall, as she lifted her other leg and wrapped it around his waist.

One of Xenophilius's hands was in her hair, tangling and pulling lightly on her fine, smooth locks, and the other was on her chest, pinching her nipple through her bra. Narcissa was still quite flat, and her chest was painfully sensitive, but the slight discomfort of him tugging on her nipples only served to wind her up more.

"Narcissa…" he moaned softly, and she lifted her head and stared straight into his eyes, those gorgeous, smouldering eyes, as she felt a warm gush of liquid spurt up inside her, and between that, and the look of intense pleasure upon his beautiful face, and oh, God, everything, Narcissa came apart.

Her body clamped so hard around him that it must have hurt, all her muscles twitching and clamping. She let out a high, desperate moan, and then collapsed.

Narcissa hung limply in Xenophilius's arms, struggling to draw breath. She could hear his heart pounding violently – or was that her own? It didn't matter. Nothing mattered, nothing at all, except that she had just made love with Xenophilus Lovegood.

She raised her head slowly, looking up at him. His eyelids were partially lowered, and he was biting on his lip hard as he stared intensely down at her.

She smiled.

"Let's go up to your dormitory, shall we?" she whispered, and as she pulled her blouse on again and hurried after him, up to the Ravenclaw tower, she could only wonder how long the love potion would last… and how she could get another bottle from Slughorn when it ran out.