Anwen Harper was dead.
It was the Desolation Engine; this mental bomb that threatened mankind into extinction. That unlimited energy hidden in the farthest reaches of her mind, a power so violent and had so much potential. It burned up her mind and shredded her insides until she couldn't hold it in. She sacrificed herself so that Alex and Jess could survive. Possibly Heller as well.
She remembered death like the back of her hand. It's endless span, stretching throughout the universes, creeping into her blood, her bones, her being. It threatened her, edging deeper into her soul, whispering that she was defenseless. She felt numb, a good kind of numbness. It made her relaxed; it made her hum with silent energy. It took away the pain of everything, her physical pain, her emotional pain. Her sadness, her depression, her despair, her failure, her sorrow. She promised her sister she wouldn't die. She broke that promise, the ultimate reason she didn't give herself up to the Children earlier. Anwen wanted her sister to watch over her, she wanted Bek to keep her safe. She was still just a child inside. A useless, pitiful child. She didn't matter anymore. Alex had Jess, and that was all that mattered to them. She knew that if they had each other, everything will be okay.
And so she let go, and faded into the darkest corners of the universe. She fell into a cave surrounded by hurt and despair. She shielded herself from the rest of the universe, and watched as it continued turning for the rest of time. And she did what her sister couldn't. She kept the universe safe. She kept it thriving. She saved it when it couldn't. She crafted stars and planets with her bare hands. She was a protector. And she never forgot Alex Mercer and Jessica Miles, for they were the reason she didn't give up. Through the fire and rain, there was pain with hope scuttling closely behind. They gave their all to make sure she didn't let go of life but when she did, she was barely in their grasp.
And one day, she realized why she chose the name Anwen all those years ago. It was an unpopular Welsh name, but its meaning was more. Very beautiful. She had become something very beautiful. And for that, she discovered her true name. A name she'd never thought would mean so little yet so much.
Okay, just to clarify, this will be the final time I'll update this fanfic. I'd like to say thank you to every single person who's put this story and/or me on their alerts and faves and have read this, whether you liked it or not, especially you Rift! It would make me happy if you read the prologue of the sequel Codename: Sorrow as I'm posting another chapter up later today.