Author's Notes: Written for Lady Eleanor Boleyn's "Three Reasons" Challenge on xoxLewrahxox's Bellatrix Lestrange: The Dark Lord's Most Faithful forum.

I'd like you to write a story either inspired by or incorporating this quote here - "That's three reasons for being the most deceitful creature on God's earth" Full Credit goes to Phillippa Gregory's Anne Boleyn, who gave me the line.

500 words.


Rodolphus lay in bed, watching as his wife came into their room late one night. She looked quite dishevelled, her hair a mess from their Master's attentions, and even in the dark, lit only by the moon outside, her face was obviously very flushed and she had a definite well-fucked appearance.

"How was the Dark Lord?" Rodolphus asked her bitterly. Bellatrix turned around from the wardrobe that she had hung her travelling cloak in and glared down at him with mixed anger and pride.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," she told him, with all the dignity that she could muster, though her breathless voice gave her away. And how very breathless she was… he must have sent her straight here from his bed… didn't even give her a chance to rest…

"Don't bother telling me that," he snapped at her. "You and I both know what you were doing, so there's no use in hiding it. There's no point, Bella, no point in pretending to me that you aren't fucking him."

"I wasn't doing anything," she told him, but she turned away, trying to hide the self satisfied little smirk on her face. "Nothing that would interest you, in any case. I was certainly not in bed with him. I wasn't even with the Dark Lord. I was with Narcissa."

"Oh, of course you were. I'm sure. I'm sure that you were with Narcissa. That makes perfect sense as the reason that your dress is laced up wrong…" He trailed off, and even in the darkness, he could see Bellatrix flushing, her hands flying automatically to the laces of her dress.

"What could I say to convince you that I'm not having an affair?" she demanded, clearly trying to sound icy, but coming off as simply petulant and childish.

"There's nothing that you could say to convince me of that, as you very well know. If you actually want to convince me, which I don't suppose you do, maybe you should stop sleeping with him. As long as you are sleeping with him, I can tell. I'm not stupid, you know."

"You do an excellent impression of it, then," she told him coldly. "Because only someone quite stupid would need to be told the same thing over and over again and not believe it."

"Only someone stupid would believe that you weren't having an affair with the Dark Lord," Rodolphus shot back. "I don't know why you even try to deny it – everyone already knows!"

"Why are you so sure I'm lying?" Bellatrix asked angrily. "You just assume… I might be telling the truth, for all you know! Why do you think I'm a liar?"

Rodolphus narrowed his eyes and raised one hand, counting off on his fingers. "Because you never leave his side, because I've seen the way he looks at you, and because you're a Black." A nasty sneer crossed his face. "That's three reasons for being the most deceitful creature on God's green Earth."