And now for a bonus chapter to summarize the story, for those of you who have not had time to catch up, or are just too lazy to read the whole thing.
And now it's time for 'Bum [Fic] Reviews' with Chester A. Bum.
Middle School Mayhem
"OH MY GOSH THIS IS THE GREATEST STORY I'VE EVER READ IN MY WHOLE LIFE!" The Bum shouted, waving his arms wildly.
He then began to sway mysteriously. "Every four-hundred years, a werewolf SPOILERS!"
"Now normally I don't read because I prefer to increase my intelligence with the help of the media, but this is different… For one thing, this story includes the best cameo you'll ever see!"
"That's right- Scooby-Doo!"
"Anyway, our story begins, telling us about these four different kids who are in Middle School. One is a girl who doesn't feel like she fits in, one is a boy who is popular, another is a boy who doesn't want to hang out with anybody, and another is a boy who transforms into a werewolf and can't be let out of the house,"
"I WAS A WEREWOLF, ONCE!" The bum then shook his head. "Never drink milk past the expiration date…"
"So it turns out the popular boy creeps out the new girl because he maaaay have a crush on her- and suddenly she's hanging out with the boy who's a total jerk, which everyone finds weird because he never hangs out with anyone! …Then the popular boy gets in the way of their start of a beautiful could-be love-interest."
"Meanwhile the wolf-boy doesn't know he's a werewolf and tries sneaking out, but ends up lost in the woods where he gets chased by this terrifying creature!"
The Bum rubbed his chin. "I wondered where my aunt ran off to that weekend…"
"But it's okay because he runs into the jerky boy! …Which… actually… doesn't sound like a step up,"
"And he's like-" The Bum does an impression of Fangs, "Wow, I've never met another kid before! You think this might be the start of our obvious soon-to-be friendship?!"
"And the jerky boy is like—" he then did an impression of Puggsy. "Shut up,"
"But then the wolf-boy turns into a werewolf, and he scares the jerky boy like this…!"
The Bum then ran around in circles, screaming at a high pitch. "Aaaaaugh! Werewolf!"
"But the werewolf changes back before anyone else can see, so the jerky boy has to find a way to prove that a werewolf exists!"
"Oh, and the popular boy continues to scare the girl,"
"I WAS SCARED BY A POPULAR BOY, ONCE!" The Bum then shuddered. "Every time I looked in the mirror he was there- and kept copying my clothes and face!"
"So then the popular boy meets the werewolf, only he's not scared by him! Instead, they become instant friends! And then the girl and jerky boy start hanging out more, and get close to falling in love…"
The Bum gave a confused look. "Okay, why do the girls always go for the jerks? Bella went for Edward, Lilly went for James Potter, my mother went for the mailman…"
"So they go out to the woods, and suddenly the werewolf bumps into the jerky-boy, making him kiss the girl!"
"WHOA! DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING AT ALL!"
"But the moment doesn't last because a wild creature called The Banshee starts running after them, and the kids are like-"
The Bum began running in place. "Look out! It's a new plot!"
"So they split up so that someone can go for help while the others distract the Banshee… uh, good plan?"
"Then the jerky boy and werewolf run into a very hansom man," The Bum began to pace, scratching his head in confusion. "Who looked REEEAAAALLLY familiar… Maybe I owe him money?"
"So the kids meet up with a couple grandparents, and it turns out the Banshee was placed under a curse by a Shaman, who's the werewolf's ancestor, but don't know who the Banshee's relative is, which could help break the curse! (They expect us to buy a lot from this story, don't they?)"
"And the popular boy is like…" he then did an impression of Biff. "We should find out who the Banshee's relative is so that we can break the curse!"
"And the other kids are like… Okay!"
"But suddenly there's a bully and a snob who find out about the werewolf and want to use him for their own selfish desires… Wow, where did that plot come from?"
"So the bully tries to convince the werewolf that the jerky-boy is just using him for the same reason HE wants to use him, but the werewolf is like…" The bum then did an impression of Fangface. "I've known my friends for only two days and I know they'd never do that to me!"
"Meanwhile his grandpa is attacked by the Banshee."
"MY GRANDPA WAS ATTACKED BY A BANSHEE ONCE!" The Bum shook his head. "Darn dating services…"
"So the wolf-boy is allowed to go to school, but he accidentally transforms into a werewolf and scares the snob, who's like…" he then did an annoying impression of Misty. "Oh my gosh! Werewolf!"
"And suddenly THE WHOLE CITY is freaking out! …Seriously, one girl shouts 'Werewolf' and there's a city-wide panic?"
"Werewolf!" The bum looked out the window. "Oh, look, there's panic in the streets…"
"So the kids try to help the werewolf, and the jerky-boy and him hide together…"
"But the werewolf suddenly wants to eat him, and the jerky-boy takes out a knife and tells him to back off, which hurts the werewolf's feelings, and it's all…"
The Bum did an impression of Fangface. "I don't want to be your friend anymore!"
He then did an impression of Puggsy. "Good riddance!"
"We're going to make up later on, aren't we?"
"THEN all the kids go to the woods where they think the werewolf is hiding- which, COINCIDENTALLY, he is- and they run into Scooby and the Gang! …Who only get one cameo scene and are suddenly never heard from again."
"Then the jerky-boy beats up the bully, and then the Banshee attacks him and the werewolf, and they get into this HUGE fight, and go over a cliff! And the kids are like…" he then raised his voice to a higher pitch. "Oh noes!"
"And it looks like the werewolf is dead, and then the jerky-boy begins to cry and says he's his best friend… and it turns out the werewolf is alive!"
The Bum held up a stuffed hamster. "Oh, Mr. Periwinkle, you're my best friend…" the hamster did nothing. "WHY AREN'T YOU ALIVE?!"
"And it turns out the jerky-boy was related to the Banshee and finally broke the curse!"
"THAT'S A SHOCKER!"
"So the werewolf's name is cleared, all the kids are friends, and they lived happily ever- HOLY CRUD, MOLE PEOPLE! …After."
"So this was the best story ever, and they should really make a TV show about the kids all grown up and traveling over the world and fighting bad guys… Oh, and put a baby werewolf on the show, too!"
"I'm Chester A. Bum, and I'd like to finish this review by saying… CHANGE! YOU GOT ANY CHANGE?! C'mon, help a guy out! C'mon, change! …Can you at least find a werewolf to break MY curse of turning into a gerbil each Friday?"
A/N: Yep, had to give Chester A. Bum one more cameo…
Please review. I accept constructive CHANGE! YOU GOT ANY CHANGE?!